Not Raised “Perfectly Right”

by admin on June 30, 2015

This incident in a Wal-Mart was recently on the news and I thought it would make an interesting topic to discuss. I embedded the original videos filmed by one of the witnesses and pay attention to the second one as this one has more footage of the involvement of the six year son of the dark haired woman.

In the next video, a woman named Amber called the Smiley Morning Show on WZPL claiming to be the dark haired woman, to talk about the fight. She told the hosts she was in Wal-Mart when she heard a woman on a motorized scooter, a woman she would later fight, refer to an employee as a “ni****.”   “(The woman) was sitting there yelling at an employee at Wal-Mart, and she was telling her that she was a ni**** and that she was going to get out of the chair and whoop her a**,” the woman said.    “She used the ‘n-word?’” the host asked.    “Yes, she used the ‘n-word,’” the woman said. “So in my defense, I was standing up for the employee.”

Now, there are a number of things wrong with this scenario, the first being that “Amber” took up the offense of a Wal-Mart employee and etiquette typically does not extend grace towards those who make it their business to be nosy about other people’s lives, including the things that might offend them.   For all we know, the employee may not have been as offended as Amber thinks she should have been.

Second, is that Amber does not de-escalate the conflict, she ramps it right up with returned insults.  This is where retaliatory rudeness gets you…into physical fights with entitled loons.

Third, the blond haired woman is clearly not handicapped yet she is utilizing a motorized scooter intended for the handicapped. If you can get up and start swinging fists at an assailant, you don’t need a scooter to haul your lazy backside around Wal-Mart.   And if this woman did insult the Wal-Mart employee with a nasty pejorative word, then the warning signs were already there that this is a dangerous person who should be avoided at all costs, particularly if you have a young child at your side.

And this takes us to Number Four,  Amber’s mistaken belief that her six year year old son is being be “raised perfectly right”.   In the above video, Amber states:

“My son takes martial arts classes. He’s been going to the gym for several years with his father. I mean, he’s been in the gym for a long time,” she said. “He got a little crazy. I don’t have to worry about him ever being bullied.”

She described the boy as a straight-A, honor roll student and teacher’s pet. She said his martial arts teachers have taught him not to back down.

“My son is raised perfectly right.

This is the topic I wish us to discuss.   First there is the poor judgment of getting into an escalating scream-o-rama with an obviously entitled and angry person while in custody of a very minor-aged child.  He witnessed his mother’s poor judgment in engaging the crazy with actions that did nothing to calm the situation down but rather ramped it up to the point of violence.   The child was abandoned by his mother who chose to concentrate her attention on battling a loon.

And the worst of it is that Amber calls on her son to get involved in inflicting physical blows on the blond haired woman once she is down on the ground. Long time Ehellions know I have a special place in Etiquette Hell for parents who exploit their children in their adult dealings and conflicts and Amber does this in spades thus earning her a deep, hot, miserable corner of Ehell.  He’s six years old and Amber draws him into the physical fight thus making him a target of the blond woman’s defensive actions and potentially even her aggressive ones.   You don’t expose children to that kind of danger…ever.

So, brat child does as his mother commands and proceeds to hit the blond haired woman on the head with a shampoo bottle and appears to kick her.   Sorry, Amber you raised a son who does not know restraint and will pile on when given the advantage over a downed opponent rather  than it be a fair fight between equally matched persons.   He’s already a bully because it was obvious his mother had the woman under control on the floor and he takes advantage of this to attack her.    And when other adults witnessing the fight call out to the boy to stop what he’s doing, his reaction is pure, unadulterated bratness, “Don’t tell me what to do!”, and he almost appears to take an aggressive, threatening posture with these spectator adults.  No respect for adult authority, no sense of fairness, no idea how to back down gracefully and why that skill is needed at times, no restraint on his aggressiveness thus leading to physical involvement in a fight that was not his to have….I could go on but my point is made. Amber has and is raising the next generation of bully who thinks it’s OK to insert himself aggressively into someone else’s fights.

Update: According to snopes.com, the dark haired woman, Amber Stephenson, was charged with neglect of a dependent and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Shannan July 1, 2015 at 6:11 am

To all the commenters who wondered why no one was intervening/ calling the police

The reason why is because we as a society have gotten so calloused on things like this. It is much more important to be the one filming incidents, posting them online so your friends can se and trying to nake YOUR video go viral than it is to do the right thing and stop these things. As more and more people were curious about this train wreck, yjru came over and it quickly became ” well no one else is doing anything so I guess I don’t need to either”. The Bystander Effect. This is how women get raped in front of a crowd of people.

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Enna July 1, 2015 at 3:07 pm

I disagree that society has become more callous – the bystanders who are effected by the Bystander Effect just have the means now to record what they are witnessing. If they didn’t have phones, chances are they would just stand there and watch.

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crella July 1, 2015 at 7:28 pm

I would be really hesitant to try to break up a brawl between two people who were punching each other and knocking each other down, etc. It’s just too dangerous to intervene. Calling for help is fine, but too many times the person who steps in has both people turn on them, and they get seriously injured.

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Shannan July 2, 2015 at 5:55 am

I was referrring to how many people were just standing around not doing anything. No one was attempting to find security or calling the cops or anything. Last year, in Ft. Lauderdale I think, a woman was raped in front of a crowd of more than 100 people who just tood and watched. I would not suggest trying to break up a brawl unless you are trained in doing it and are more than reasonably sure you can do so without getting hurt or escalating things.

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Lucretia July 2, 2015 at 9:36 am

“A crowd of 100 stood and watched” The Kitty Genovese case is also often misrepresented (some people did call the police while she was being attacked, for example). Do you have an article or something to back up this claim? I have gone looking for one, and been unable to find a reference to something that would be (absolutely horrifying aside) a compelling case to add to the Bystander Effect.

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Shannan July 3, 2015 at 9:18 am

Sorry the video in question was taken over Spring Break 2014 in Panama City Beach, Fl. You may google it as I don’t know how to attach articles.

Lucretia July 3, 2015 at 5:28 pm

@Shannan- sorry I can’t reply to you directly- I found the incident you’re referring to (I think). Having the right city helped me find it. That’s a horrifying incident, and should definitely be added to the cases of the Bystander Effect as a reminder that you can call the police for heaven’s sake! You don’t have to take on the aggressors physically to get them off the street.

Shannan July 6, 2015 at 5:51 am

Exactly!

girl_with_all_the_yarn July 1, 2015 at 8:38 am

I am a terrible person. The only thought going through my head was “This is why we have websites like People of Walmart.”

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Shannan July 2, 2015 at 11:48 am

I stopped looking at that website when they posted a pic of a woman who had her “time of the month” happen. It had been going on for a while judging by the size of the stain on her white warm up pants and of course they did it just to mock her. That site may have started as a humorous way to depict how some people don’t care how they look when they go to that store but it has evolved into a way for people to do more and more outrageous things just to get their pics taken.

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Angel July 5, 2015 at 2:13 pm

I am wondering why security or any Walmart employees didn’t intervene? But that is neither here nor there. The most appalling aspect of this fight was the involvement of the 6-year-old. That boy is probably headed for a life of crime. Shame on both those women–especially the mom. Our children learn by watching us. Disgusting. I hope both of them got thrown in jail.

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