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Not Raised “Perfectly Right”

This incident in a Wal-Mart was recently on the news and I thought it would make an interesting topic to discuss. I embedded the original videos filmed by one of the witnesses and pay attention to the second one as this one has more footage of the involvement of the six year son of the dark haired woman.

In the next video, a woman named Amber called the Smiley Morning Show on WZPL claiming to be the dark haired woman, to talk about the fight. She told the hosts she was in Wal-Mart when she heard a woman on a motorized scooter, a woman she would later fight, refer to an employee as a “ni****.”   “(The woman) was sitting there yelling at an employee at Wal-Mart, and she was telling her that she was a ni**** and that she was going to get out of the chair and whoop her a**,” the woman said.    “She used the ‘n-word?’” the host asked.    “Yes, she used the ‘n-word,’” the woman said. “So in my defense, I was standing up for the employee.”

Now, there are a number of things wrong with this scenario, the first being that “Amber” took up the offense of a Wal-Mart employee and etiquette typically does not extend grace towards those who make it their business to be nosy about other people’s lives, including the things that might offend them.   For all we know, the employee may not have been as offended as Amber thinks she should have been.

Second, is that Amber does not de-escalate the conflict, she ramps it right up with returned insults.  This is where retaliatory rudeness gets you…into physical fights with entitled loons.

Third, the blond haired woman is clearly not handicapped yet she is utilizing a motorized scooter intended for the handicapped. If you can get up and start swinging fists at an assailant, you don’t need a scooter to haul your lazy backside around Wal-Mart.   And if this woman did insult the Wal-Mart employee with a nasty pejorative word, then the warning signs were already there that this is a dangerous person who should be avoided at all costs, particularly if you have a young child at your side.

And this takes us to Number Four,  Amber’s mistaken belief that her six year year old son is being be “raised perfectly right”.   In the above video, Amber states:

“My son takes martial arts classes. He’s been going to the gym for several years with his father. I mean, he’s been in the gym for a long time,” she said. “He got a little crazy. I don’t have to worry about him ever being bullied.”

She described the boy as a straight-A, honor roll student and teacher’s pet. She said his martial arts teachers have taught him not to back down.

“My son is raised perfectly right.

This is the topic I wish us to discuss.   First there is the poor judgment of getting into an escalating scream-o-rama with an obviously entitled and angry person while in custody of a very minor-aged child.  He witnessed his mother’s poor judgment in engaging the crazy with actions that did nothing to calm the situation down but rather ramped it up to the point of violence.   The child was abandoned by his mother who chose to concentrate her attention on battling a loon.

And the worst of it is that Amber calls on her son to get involved in inflicting physical blows on the blond haired woman once she is down on the ground. Long time Ehellions know I have a special place in Etiquette Hell for parents who exploit their children in their adult dealings and conflicts and Amber does this in spades thus earning her a deep, hot, miserable corner of Ehell.  He’s six years old and Amber draws him into the physical fight thus making him a target of the blond woman’s defensive actions and potentially even her aggressive ones.   You don’t expose children to that kind of danger…ever.

So, brat child does as his mother commands and proceeds to hit the blond haired woman on the head with a shampoo bottle and appears to kick her.   Sorry, Amber you raised a son who does not know restraint and will pile on when given the advantage over a downed opponent rather  than it be a fair fight between equally matched persons.   He’s already a bully because it was obvious his mother had the woman under control on the floor and he takes advantage of this to attack her.    And when other adults witnessing the fight call out to the boy to stop what he’s doing, his reaction is pure, unadulterated bratness, “Don’t tell me what to do!”, and he almost appears to take an aggressive, threatening posture with these spectator adults.  No respect for adult authority, no sense of fairness, no idea how to back down gracefully and why that skill is needed at times, no restraint on his aggressiveness thus leading to physical involvement in a fight that was not his to have….I could go on but my point is made. Amber has and is raising the next generation of bully who thinks it’s OK to insert himself aggressively into someone else’s fights.

Update: According to snopes.com, the dark haired woman, Amber Stephenson, was charged with neglect of a dependent and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

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  • Miss V June 30, 2015, 7:34 am

    “Now, there are a number of things wrong with this scenario, the first being that “Amber” took up the offense of a Wal-Mart employee and etiquette typically does not extend grace towards those who make it their business to be nosy about other people’s lives, including the things that might offend them. For all we know, the employee may not have been as offended as Amber thinks she should have been.”

    I completely disagree on this point. Yes, usually people shouldn’t insert themselves into situations which don’t concern them, but she was standing up for a store employee. The WalMart employee can’t say anything for fear of the blonde woman complaining to a manager and loosing her job. People feel it’s ok to harass and abuse service industry workers because they know the employee can’t do anything accept take the abuse or else risk getting fired.

    After almost a decade of working in the service industry I’ve been yelled at, spit on, insulted, sexually harassed, and even physically attacked. And the only thing I could do without risking my job was try to extricate myself from the situation as quickly as possible.

    So I think involving yourself when it’s someone who can’t stand up for themselves should not only be forgiven, but be expected.

    • Calli Arcale June 30, 2015, 11:35 am

      I agree. However, there are right ways and wrong ways to go about it, and this was one of the wrong ways. I mean holy cow, talk about escalating!

      • vanessaga81 June 30, 2015, 11:48 am

        I would definitely say something if someone was berating someone else. Especially a retail worker, as many of them are afraid to take up for themselves for fear of being fired. And a racial slur is very unlikely not to offend someone.

    • Anna June 30, 2015, 1:28 pm

      The thing to do if you really want to stand up for the employee is to find a manager and report the incident, which might hopefully lead to the woman being asked to leave the store (something a manager can and should do, but a clerk probably can’t in that situation).

      Screaming insults is not “standing up” for the employee at all, it is piling bad behavior on top of bad behavior.

    • Enna June 30, 2015, 2:57 pm

      I understand it can be a worry for employees that if they complain to a manager they might loose their job if the customer complains. However managers do have a responsibility to make sure that their employees are safe and free form harassment. If Amber really wanted to help the employee she could have asked to speak to the manger and say she saw the blonde woman being racist. This is what I would have done. I might have even gone as far as to say to the blonde woman that language is uncalled for and I will be informing the manager of her actions.

    • manybellsdown June 30, 2015, 3:55 pm

      I’m all behind her standing up for the employee, yes, 100%. This was not the way to do it, for sure.

    • Kate July 1, 2015, 9:34 pm

      I agree and I think the language used was unacceptable, but I’d probably say “That is disgusting” and then go straight to a manager to report it.

  • Shoegal June 30, 2015, 7:43 am

    All I could think of was why nobody was trying to break up this fight? Everybody just stood around and watched this spectacle? Let all of this happen in front of a child? Nobody in that video came out smelling like a rose. No even the person who shot it. This was certainly a disgusting display. It is quite obvious that this little boy is not being raised right. His mother wasn’t raised right if she would engage in such a fight so how could she possibly know what the right way is?

    • admin June 30, 2015, 11:33 am

      I fantasized about pouring large bottles of shampoo over the women….along the same lines of spraying fighting cats with water.

      • kingsrings June 30, 2015, 1:20 pm

        And I fantasized about grabbing a hose from the back somewhere and turning it on them! That oughta break it up pretty quick. To me its just as effective with humans as with cats. And if they start charging, just keep spraying. LOL.

        • admin July 1, 2015, 12:56 am

          Or a fire extinguisher or jugs of molasses/maple syrup from the food aisle followed by containers of sprinkles or glitter.

          • MamaToreen July 1, 2015, 7:34 am

            But who would pay for all that merchandise?

    • Ana July 1, 2015, 8:50 am

      You can hear in the video the bystanders telling one another not to intervene because of the fear of getting in trouble, especially in terms of restraining the boy. Someone had already called the cops, so they were waiting for them.

      • Enna July 1, 2015, 3:10 pm

        They could have separated Amber and the blonde women and taken them to different parts of the shop. I suspect the boy wouldn’t want to go too far away from his mum and if his mum asked the boy to hit the people restraining her they could point out that this will only get her into more trouble. Possibly even a criminal record and her child in care if she is deemed an unsuitable parent.

  • PM June 30, 2015, 7:53 am

    Nope. Nope. Nope.

    Sorry, but NO.

    A child who was being raised “perfectly right” would have run to a manager for help. At the very least, he would stand by and wait for an adult to intervene. Not yell insults at the woman his mother was assaulting, try to join in on the violence and then yell insults/confront adults who attempted to correct him.

    I do not know of a single martial arts instructor who would have approved of this little boy’s actions, much less the mother’s. A good martial arts instructor teaches children to AVOID violence whenever possible, not egg it on and treat adults with disrespect.

    This woman is trying to justify her own violent behavior and her son’s future hooliganism.

    BTW, totally agree that no child is raised perfectly. I don’t think my children are being raised perfectly right and my 6 yo has never committed assault and battery with bottle of Suave at Walmart.

    • SJ June 30, 2015, 12:50 pm

      Yes. And it’s very sad, because at his impressionable age, his mother is teaching him some very wrong lessons.

    • Lucretia June 30, 2015, 11:00 pm

      You’re right- no child is raised perfectly but I wasn’t raised perfectly right, and I’ve never started a fight in Wal-Mart. (I’m pretty young, I guess it could still happen. But probably only against, like, zombies or something.) My brother accidentally knocked over a display of clothes at Target once, though! He wasn’t fighting though- at least not anybody real. We were hiding from each other in the clothes and then BAM! went the display. Which is why we had to spend the next 5 years holding onto the cart and with our other hand in our pocket in every. single. store. we went to. If they didn’t have carts- both hands in the pockets.

    • JeanLouiseFinch June 30, 2015, 11:37 pm

      I was thinking the same thing about the martial arts teacher. When my daughter’s friend was taking a martial arts class (and she was winning lots of competitions), she told us that her teacher advised the class that if he found out they were getting into fights, they would be asked to leave the class. He told them that one of the points of learning martial arts is to learn to avoid fighting. I told this little girl that he sounded like a really good teacher.

      If that little boy has a decent teacher, at the least, he will get a huge reprimand for what he did, and the teacher would be justified in kicking him out of the class.

  • M June 30, 2015, 7:56 am

    She should be made to attend parenting classes and charged with child endangerment. I hope that kid has at least one positive role model in his life or his life is going to go quickly the wrong way

  • Margo June 30, 2015, 8:01 am

    None of the protagonists come out of it well, and I agree that the child is not being raised ‘perfectly’ for the reasons you stated. ‘Amber’ would have been netter advised to call for security or speak to a manager if she witnessed abuse of a staff member, and actively calling on her child and encouraging him to join in the assault is well out of line.

    I was however a little concerned to read your statement;
    “the blond haired woman is clearly not handicapped yet she is utilizing a motorized scooter intended for the handicapped. If you can get up and start swinging fists at an assailant, you don’t need a scooter to haul your lazy backside around Wal-Mart.”

    There are many invisible disabilities many of which would mean that a person might legitimately need to use a scooter, and still be able to stand, walk etc. (example: my sister had cancer treatment last year. During the treatment, She started to use a scooter when she went round the supermarket because walking round was so exhausting. But she could stand, walk, even move quickly if she needed to – she just could not do any of those things for very long at a time. And if someone saw her, they might easily draw the conclusion that she was ‘clearly not disabled’. )

    Obviously I don’t know whether or not that is true of this specific woman, but neither can anyone else based solely on the videos – just because she is aggressive and behaves inappropriately does not mean she might not *also* have a legitimate reason to use the scooter in the first place.

    I am not defending her *behaviour* in any way, but that particular assumption, , and the pejorative comment about her laziness, seem inappropriate.

    • Calli Arcale June 30, 2015, 11:39 am

      I have to agree on that point. I am reluctant to ever question someone’s use of a mobility scooter, or to assume that the woman’s threats to get up and whoop the person had any merit to them. Most people who use mobility scooters can in fact walk, and the devices are even engineered on the assumption a person can walk some distance to get on and off the thing. I can believe a person angry enough to threaten to get up and whoop someone but not be able to walk all the way around a Walmart.

      Heh; I remember when I was on crutches. I decided to be tough and not borrow one of Target’s scooters to go shopping by myself. I figured that I’m strong, I can handle it. I was wrong! 😀 Well, I did make it, but it was difficult and my aching arms sure reminded me of my error for the next couple of days.

    • Lo June 30, 2015, 11:46 am

      This bothered me too. Use of a motor scooter doesn’t imply a person cannot walk under their own power. Some people cannot walk long distances. I am not on this woman’s side at all but I think people should be made aware that just because someone does not seem to be using a tool for the disabled doesn’t mean they don’t need or deserve to have it.

    • Melissa June 30, 2015, 12:04 pm

      I totally understand what you are saying, my friend’s dad looks pretty able bodied to the general public, when in reality he has a congenital heart defect and is on the transplant list for a new heart. People may judge him and think that he has no need for a handicapped placard, when in fact he really does.

      However, he is also not capable of starting or carrying out physical altercations, especially unnecessary ones (I’m sure if he had to defend himself against an attack, he would do his best). I think it’s a pretty fair assumption to think that someone who needs a mobility scooter to get around a store would not start a physical fight with someone else. In the example of your sister, of course she may not have “looked” like she needed that scooter, and that is for no one else to judge, but if she got up and started fist fighting, I think the rest of us are fair to assess that she really does not need that scooter.

      This is a great lesson to remember though, we do not see nor know all, and I sure hope your sister has made a full recovery and stays in remission!

      • Wild Irish Rose June 30, 2015, 12:19 pm

        I too went through cancer treatment (hugs to your sister) and I get what you’re saying too, but although I didn’t use a scooter, neither did I engage in physical fights. I think Melissa is right–if you see a person get up from a scooter and start throwing punches, it’s fair to assume that person isn’t disabled enough to use a scooter.

    • flora June 30, 2015, 12:20 pm

      It’s true some disabled people don’t look disabled, but I’m guessing they won’t get themselves in a fist fight/wrestling match in public area. I’ve done a little amature wrestling with friends, even friendly, informal matchs take a lot of energy and stamina. I might understand if she was on the defensive, standing up just to protect herselve. But she was purly offensive and unlikely needing that scooter at all.

      • Margo June 30, 2015, 1:54 pm

        In my experience, people who are unpleasant, aggressive & violent are like that whether they are sick or well.

        I agree that she may well not be disabled, I’m just troubled by making those assumptions.

        (And thank you for those wishing my sister well – happily it was caught early and treated effectively and she is fine now! She wouldn’t go starting fights whether she was sick or well 🙂 )

      • Enna June 30, 2015, 3:08 pm

        People do have hidden disabilities but they don’t tend to turn their scooters around, then get off their scooter to have a fist fight.

    • Rachel June 30, 2015, 11:28 pm

      I 100% agree with you Margo. I have a disability that can’t be seen but I can get up and perform some what strenuous activity for very brief periods.

  • Michelle June 30, 2015, 8:20 am

    100% totally agree with Admin.

    I’m sure other commenters have said this but where was the store employees and/or Police? Why are you videoing this instead of calling the police??? One woman said something about someone needed to call police because she didn’t have a phone and I’m thinking why isn’t she running to the front or someone else calling? Almost everyone has a basic cell phone.

    Also, most Wal-Mart’s have video surveillance systems, surely the person(s) in charge of watching the camera could have alerted store security and police. I saw a man being held down in the entryway of a Wal-Mart with six people on him (all Wal-Mart security) waiting on the police to arrive to arrest him.

    And the kid? Ooh, throw me in E-Hell, but if that kid had come up all aggressive on me like that, I would have been sorely tempted to hold him down until police arrived. Normally, I wouldn’t dare correct another person’s child or physically restrain them, but in this case, the child was encouraged and actively participating in the fight! I don’t think I could just stand by watching, videoing and commenting on a fight in the aisle. I would feel compelled to do something to stop it- call the police, go to the front and shout “help” or something.

    The dark-haired woman needs to get over herself. She is not responsible to defend someone from racial slurs. It’s repulsive and disgusting, but sometimes it’s best to try to let it go, especially when it’s not directed at you. If cart woman was on a tirade directed at the employee (and most especially if it was a teenaged employee), I think you could step in and say something or ask for a manager. Of course dark-haired woman doesn’t have to worry about her child being bullied because I’m 100% sure that he WILL be the bully! Maybe this is one of the times CPS needs to be called in. She encouraged her child to strike another person. The boy hitting, kicking and striking the woman with his fists and products off the shelf.

    I’m really afraid for our society sometimes.

    • GeenaG June 30, 2015, 2:40 pm

      Trying to stop a fight like this is taking a really good chance of getting stabbed or shot.

      • JMon July 1, 2015, 3:58 am

        Pretty sure if either of those two women had a weapon, they would have used it on each other. In this particular situation, I agree that someone should have tried to stop the fight while someone else called the authorities. There was a child present, for goodness sake.

      • Michelle July 1, 2015, 7:29 am

        I never said I would personally jump in and try to stop it. My suggestions were calling the police or going to the front for help, not standing around videoing it and talking about how “awesome” it was, like the guy doing the taping did.

  • AMC June 30, 2015, 8:28 am

    THANK YOU! Admin, you couldn’t be more spot on about this. I hope the authorities have taken action and are evaluating this woman’s competency as a parent.

    I’d like to add that I took Karate/self-defense classes as a kid, and my instructors emphasized discipline and self-control, not unrestrained violence. They taught me that conflicts should always be resolved non-violently first. My defense skills were only to be used as a last-resort and only if my physical safety is in immediate danger.

  • stacey June 30, 2015, 9:08 am

    Once you’ve arrived at the stage where physical force is deployed, etiquette has surrendered to law as mediator and there is nothing further to be done…

  • Mustard June 30, 2015, 9:14 am

    Wow. I hadn’t heard anything about this incident and watched the videos before I read further. My first thought was that the ‘disabled’ woman had annoyed/inconvenienced the dark-haired woman by using the scooter… But then she got off and weighed in! One of the saddest aspects is that the watching adults felt they could not intervene, other than verbally, because of a possible lawsuit. That small boy needed to be hauled away immediately his mother started kicking off. How she can believe she is raising him ‘perfectly right’ is beyond me.

  • Cerys June 30, 2015, 9:17 am

    I’m just wondering where Security was while all this was happening.

    • Lucretia June 30, 2015, 10:56 pm

      Probably on their way. And it’s always a possibility that they were dealing with something else at the time they got the call.

  • flora June 30, 2015, 9:44 am

    I think the filmers were rude too. Instead of calling the police they were more interested in filming the fight for thier own amusement.
    In regards to the child, honestly I feel sorry for him. “Mother” put him in an awful situation. Bad enough she chose physically fight blondie but instead of telling him to back away or find help she encouraged him to gang up on blondie, thus teaching him that might makes right. I really hope that child is put in foster care.

  • Wild Irish Rose June 30, 2015, 9:45 am

    If I were in charge, Amber would go to jail (as would the blonde woman) and her son would be put in a foster home. But that’s just me.

  • Roslyn June 30, 2015, 9:56 am

    If this child is in Martial Arts classes then I would look closely at his instructors. Martial Arts teach honor in defense, not offensively using your skills to harm someone who is being held down, ONLY defending yourself.

    Shameful on both women’s parts. I am surprised that no one seemed to have called store security, only mentioning the police may be on their way and to not get involved.

    It makes you wonder tho…what if the dark haired woman was choking the blond woman….it is hard to tell when she is laying still. She could possibly be choking her life away while they just stand and talk about litigation and liability like they are watching the finer points of a golf game.

  • GeenaG June 30, 2015, 9:57 am

    Your son is going to grow into an adult monster we see on the 6 o’clock news some night and the truly tragic thing is you don’t even see it when it’s right in front of your face. People laugh at me because I prefer to spend my money and mingle with the customers of Whole Foods. I don’t care if it costs more, it’s worth it to me to avoid having to be around people like this. If it means being around people of this nature, a cheaper price is not always a bargain.

    • kingsrings June 30, 2015, 11:36 am

      I have to agree with you. I’ve shopped at Wal-Mart quite frequently within the past six months due to extreme financial hardship, and this happening there doesn’t surprise me at all. While there are many decent Wal Mart shoppers out there, I saw many scary and uncivilized people there in all my trips. Much more so than any other grocery store I’ve shopped at. Now I only go there once in a while out of necessity just because I obviously prefer to be in a safer environment.

  • CW June 30, 2015, 10:20 am

    Look, I took martial arts for over a decade. I also taught classes to small children. One of the very first things they are taught is you do not fight if you do not have to. Unless you are in danger, you leave the situation. My instructor would punish any student who got in a fight at school. This kid is going to be a nightmare.

  • Lisa H. June 30, 2015, 10:27 am

    This was just too painful to watch. I was surprised to see it on this site. The etiquette fails are too many to list.

  • MamaToreen June 30, 2015, 10:29 am

    Life is going to have to teach these kids the hard way

  • VM June 30, 2015, 10:32 am

    So much wrong everywhere. The hateful woman on the scooter all too ready to rumble. The Social Justice Warrior that takes the “warrior” part of that phrase literally and physically. The little boy literally kicking a person when they’re down. The “videographer” that not only springs to the ready with the record button, he can’t help but flash his face saying “this is awesome!” about an awful occurrence. And forgive me, oh gentle moderator, but saying “If you can get up and start swinging fists at an assailant, you don’t need a scooter to haul your lazy backside around Wal-Mart” is not the most gracious thing you’ve ever said either. Though that may well be true of the woman in question, I’ve known several people who had conditions that left them the strength and agility to be able to do that in a burst, yet not have the physical stamina to walk around a huge store.

    • admin June 30, 2015, 11:52 am

      Have you and the other commenters who voiced the same opinion watched the video with discernment? The blond haired woman on the scooter clearly starts the violence threat by saying, “Don’t think I can’t get up and kick your ass”, and just before jumping up from the scooter says, “You want it? You want it?” It appears from the video that she has taken the initiative to engage in shoving. Anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who needs the use of a scooter to shop in a store has no business threatening physical violence and certainly not rising to the occasion to do combat. Just the sheer idiocy of taking on an opponent when one is *allegedly* so handicapped you cannot walk through the store is mind boggling. If you can only walk short distances or stand a few moments or you need to lean on something to stand or you have a heart condition, what makes you think you would stand a chance against a healthy person who is not so handicapped in a fight?

      I use those scooters in large stores because I have knee and hip problems. Yes, I can stand and yes, I can even walk the whole store if I had to (very slowly) but there would be no way on earth I would ever choose to start a physical fight with someone who does not need a scooter. So, either blond was lazy abuser of the free scooter or she was the stupidest person to ever claim a disability while spoiling for a fight.

      • Margo June 30, 2015, 2:08 pm

        I think a strong argument could be made for her being extremely stupid, regardless of any physical limitations.. You are, I have no doubt far too sensible, as well as far too plite, to start a fight with anyone, but there are some very stupid people out there and no doubt some of them are also disabled.

        Not sure bout stupidest . .. I once witnessed a one-legged man fall down a flight of stairs because he had taken off his own prosthetic leg to throw at someone.. ‘Very Stupid’ and ‘Disabled’ are not mutually exclusive 🙂

      • VM June 30, 2015, 11:28 pm

        I did indeed watch the video before posting. My comment was not about her specifically, but the “anyone who could…” construction of your statement, and I took “could” as meaning possessed of the physical ability, without factoring in the nature of one who would wish to use it in that manner. I remember my boyfriend telling me that some months after his bone marrow transplant he could do everything that he could before, even the most strength-challenging physical stuff, but only for ten minutes before he “crashed” and needed to take a nap. He could well have… well no, not been stupidly confrontational like this woman, but let’s say he saw me in dire peril and needing protection… administered a beatdown yet not been able to walk around a Walmart.

        • Margo July 1, 2015, 3:56 am

          yes, that was how I read it, and the point I was trying to make, too!

      • Another Sarah July 2, 2015, 7:10 am

        the video shows her saying that to the store employee – the person she’s arguing with in the first instance is the store employee, not the dark haired woman, as backed up by the probable cause document including witness statements that the link from snopes shows. Both the store employees also contradicted the dark haired woman’s comment that the blonde was racist towards one of them – she was however still very unpleasant.

        Again in the witness affadavits the dark haired woman first tried to get the blonde to engage, following her down the aisle until the blonde went back. Now I am not defending her actions, she was obviously behaving abominably as well, but the dark haired woman was the aggressor in the fight, and if you watch the video, although the blonde gets up and faces off, her arms are in a defensive posture. The dark haired woman throws the first punch.

  • L.J. June 30, 2015, 10:35 am

    “the blond haired woman is clearly not handicapped yet she is utilizing a motorized scooter intended for the handicapped. If you can get up and start swinging fists at an assailant, you don’t need a scooter to haul your lazy backside around Wal-Mart”

    The world cannot be divided into “completely healthy” and “frail, sickly, completely unable to walk”. She may have complete use of her upper body and be able to walk short distances, but be unable to walk long distances.

    • Snowy July 16, 2015, 4:42 pm

      Not to mention, even when you’re ailing or in pain, adrenaline can let you do a lot of things you normally wouldn’t be able to.

  • Ashley June 30, 2015, 10:50 am

    Somehow I’ve managed to completely miss this story…I have seen it mentioned (including in comments on a story posted on here recently) but never saw or heard why the fight started or any other details.

    Everything about this situation is messed up. You don’t call someone the N-word, you don’t get in fights at WalMart, you don’t use the mobility scooters if you don’t need them, and you don’t encourage your 6 year old to fight, at all, especially against an adult.

  • Eagle June 30, 2015, 10:54 am

    I hate to take exception to one small bit in a larger article, but just because the woman was in a scooter doesn’t mean she couldn’t stand for a bit. Her standing and swinging briefly doesn’t mean she was just being lazy using the scooter to begin with. I have to use my scooter to get around but I can lean or stand for short periods of time once or twice a day.

  • Gabriele June 30, 2015, 11:05 am

    I didn’t watch the videos, reading about them was enough.
    My first comment: The good news is enough people will watch it and hopefully that will include parents whose children go to school with the boy, teachers at the school and maybe even those concerned with children at risk. So maybe his behavior will bring consequences sooner rather than later.
    My second: I’m afraid his mother will perpetuate her tale of her righteous behavior and the son will as well, reliving the experience and feeding his capacity for anger and violence.
    I pity anyone who has to live near them.
    Now I’m going back to the Friday video to remind me there are better people doing better things and be thankful that there are.

  • ladyv June 30, 2015, 11:08 am

    Apparently this woman has a far different concept of “raising a child perfectly right” than I do. What a great example she’s setting for her son – fighting instead of talking, kicking someone when they’re down, etc. What the woman on the scooter said was inexcusable; however, it wasn’t Amber’s place to start a fight over it.

    I do disagree on one thing – the fact that you say the woman on the scooter was “clearly not handicapped”. The fact that she could stand up and start a fight is irrelevant. I have a chronic lung condition (non-smoking related) that on bad days, makes it difficult for me to walk for any distance. If I had to use a motorized scooter, people would be shaking their heads because I don’t “look” handicapped. While I can’t imagine acting like the blonde woman, if I was being physically attacked for no reason, I would probably be able to get off the scooter and either defend myself, or remove myself from the vicinity. There are a lot of people with invisible disabilities – please don’t encourage the idea of seeing them as “clearly not handicapped”.

    • admin June 30, 2015, 11:25 am

      There is a difference between defending oneself and being the aggressor. If you are well enough to stand up and push, shove, swing a fist and tackle someone, you have no need for a scooter. Speaking as someone who does use a scooter in stores fairly often.

      • Lo June 30, 2015, 11:54 am

        Admin, I had not seen your reply when I posted my own comment above about motor scooters for the disabled. I still wish to give the woman in the scooter the benefit of the doubt about using it but I understand where you are coming from.

      • magicdomino June 30, 2015, 1:04 pm

        If the disability is recent, then in the heat of rage, the blonde woman may have forgotten, or at least underestimated, her lack of stamina. Some people talk more than they can actually deliver — which is another reason to keep things from getting violent. You might lose. 😉

      • ladyv June 30, 2015, 2:38 pm

        Admin, neither of us would be that aggressive – but I’d like to think we’re both fairly normal, well brought up people. This woman appears to have been white trash of the worst kind – and it’s not surprising that her verbal aggression transformed into physical aggression. Someone who has that kind of anger problem will often be driven by anger and adrenaline past what they would normally be capable of.

  • kingsrings June 30, 2015, 11:14 am

    When I first saw and read about this, I was nearly sick to my stomach. This made me weep for humanity. And it also made me wish that social media wasn’t so prevalent nowadays, because now you get to see even more so just how nasty some people can be. This is nothing new. There are many parents like Amber and have been for generations. We just get to see more of it because of cameras filming everything.

    I would love to know the updates to this situation. I am very worried about this child. Has he been removed from this extremely toxic, unhealthy home? Or has Amber and her husband been ordered to go through some intense parenting classes so that they get it driven into them that is absolutely not an okay way to raise a child?

  • PrincessButtercup June 30, 2015, 11:22 am

    When I first saw the videos my thought was “I’d be calling the cops and telling them to bring child protective services because their is a minor whose mother is failing horribly.” And then afterwards the mom not being vaguely remorseful that her son got involved or his behavior being rude and awful, just affirms that that family needs help, big time!

  • rachel June 30, 2015, 11:35 am

    Admin is spot on as usual. You might be interested in looking at what SJWs, particularly ones on Tumblr, are. They are a subculture of people who think racial slurs about people of color warrant physical violence and a whole lot of other nasty beliefs. This video was inevitable with people like that disseminating their misanthropic beliefs.

    • admin June 30, 2015, 11:38 am

      What does SJW stand for and are they advocating physical violence in response to racial slurs or along with racial slurs?

      • Kheldarson June 30, 2015, 12:44 pm

        SJW = social justice warrior. They don’t necessarily advocate violence, but they do advocate responding to what are perceived as slights against minorities. The issue is that a number of them take it too far either in terms of violence or in terms of sensitivity. SJW is a mostly mocked term online at this point.

        • ArtK June 30, 2015, 1:10 pm

          SJW has always been a mocking term. I don’t know anyone who cares about social justice (small letters) who has used that term for themselves; at least not before the anti-SJW people started using it as a perjorative.

          It’s also a poor definition of what the people who care about social justice do. Again, I don’t know of many who will intervene at an individual level like this.

  • TaterTot June 30, 2015, 11:36 am

    I agree with admin’s assessment of the whole episode. However, I would also like to call out the guy who was filming the first video who said “This is gonna be great.” No, this is not great. This shows society at one of its lowest moments. Instead of getting security, he gets all excited about what he is about to capture on his cell phone. Pathetic.

    I do have to agree with the woman who said that trying to keep the boy from hitting and kicking the blond woman would only result in some type of lawsuit, especially after hearing from his Mom on the morning show. Yet another reason to get security involved.

    • KenderJ June 30, 2015, 12:06 pm

      I don’t know. I think it is allowed to lay hands on children that are not yours if it is to remove them from danger and taking a six-year-old by the hand and getting him out of the way of two adults fighting would certainly qualify, or at least you could make a good case if asked. I think the main problem would be that the child might fight you and you would have to restrain him for his safety. Again, you could make a good case about protecting the child, but you would be taking your chances. As far as the rest of it, the behavior here is appalling. If I ran the world, both women would be in jail and son would have at least spent the night in juvie. Hopefully, it would teach them all that if you get violent, the consequences are you go to jail regardless of how “right” you think you are.

      • GeenaG June 30, 2015, 2:45 pm

        Holding down and restraining a child is something I would never do, that is the responsibility of law enforcement or security, not me. If that kid got so much as a sprain from my actions I have no doubt that the mother would be filing complaints and lawsuits against me for abuse.

      • Lucretia June 30, 2015, 10:51 pm

        You have to be careful about force and children- especially those that aren’t yours. I’m a teacher and we don’t generally break up fights physically if they don’t respond to verbal attempts to stop it. Partially it’s because I teach middle school, and am not a big person- over half my students are bigger than me, so it’s just not wise. We don’t break up fights for safety and liability reasons, and because once you step in and grab a child, you no longer have total control over the kids around the fight (and there are ALWAYS kids and other people around the fight). It’s better to call for help (security in our case and this case) and keep other people clear to prevent injury and escalation. These people did do the right thing in not attempting to break up the fight- it very seldom turns out well. And I’ll bet that kid and his mother are just an absolute joy in the classroom every year. :/.

  • lakey June 30, 2015, 11:40 am

    I am glad that the bystanders filmed this. Child Protective Services needs to step in here. I know a few judges, and Administrator, if you think you are disgusted with the way this woman mishandled the situation with regard to her son, judges will be even more concerned. They know how kids like this are likely to end up. The video is evidence. As far as the racial slur goes, it wouldn’t surprise me if that didn’t actually happen, and she cooked that up to excuse her public brawl. If it did happen then she could have asked to see the store manager or a security person to deal with it.

    • admin July 1, 2015, 12:59 am

      Odd how the employee does not appear in news media stories confirming the racial epithet. Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen but the lack of corroborative evidence from the person to whom the slur was intended seems odd.

      • Michelle July 1, 2015, 7:33 am

        I was thinking that same thing, Admin. Most of the time the offended employee would step forward.

  • NostalgicGal June 30, 2015, 11:53 am

    1) I hope the kid was taken away by social services permanently. And someone educates him better about how he should treat others.

    2) That was not the woman’s fight, the dark haired woman needed to stay OUT of it. If she wanted to do something, go get a store manager or the store security.

    3) Motorized scooter use. I have used on on occasion and it could seem like I didn’t need it. (I had stitches in my heel so crutching it through store wasn’t really going to happen, yet I could get up and take what looked like a few normal steps (painful but yes looked like nothing was wrong). In fact one night I was doing this and found a man in wheelchair sitting in an aisle. I asked if he needed help, he said no, then I looked up at the 8′ line. He needed some help snagging something. I told him I had the stitches, but could stand up, so I did, managed to scale the ramparts, and snag down what he needed. I got one, asked if he needed two, was he sure? then got down and got back on the motie.)

    4) totally a train wreck, the whole incident.

  • just4kicks June 30, 2015, 11:55 am

    My kids sometimes go on a “30 second fights” link, and the craziness I’ve seen on those videos are just disgusting.
    This is right up there, especially with the kid joining in….his mother should be ashamed of herself.
    We have told our kids from little on up, that, while you never START a fight, if you are attacked first you have every right to defend yourselves.

    • mary June 30, 2015, 2:24 pm

      Since we’re (sort of) on the subject of child rearing: YOU need to monitor your kids’ internet use! No impressionable child should be allowed to watch videos of people fighting.

      • just4kicks July 1, 2015, 3:05 am

        @Mary: I replied to your comment, but it posted further down if you care to read it.

      • Ai July 1, 2015, 12:18 pm

        Wow. That was uncalled for. Just4kicks is teaching her kids not to start fights and to defend themselves; that’s the important part. Besides, her kids could be teens, or maybe saw something on one of their friends’ phone. I don’t know, and neither do you 🙁

        • just4kicks July 2, 2015, 3:07 am

          @Ai: thanks for the back up!
          You are correct on both points.
          The two kids are 17 (next month) and 18 years old.

          • Ai July 2, 2015, 1:41 pm

            I figured as much, cause I too was once a teenager who saw unsavory things on a friends T.V or phone :). My parents were admittedly were not very careful with monitoring what my brother and I watched. However, they did us teach not to start fights, not to kick someone while they’re down, don’t be a bully, etc.

            Not everything a child sees can be monitored; that’s life. However, through nurturing and some discipline, decent behavior can be taught. Right from wrong can be taught, and the poor child in those videos is clearly not being taught any of those things.

  • Marie June 30, 2015, 12:19 pm

    Others may have already touched on this, but my husband and I run a martial arts school and our kids have been involved in martial arts for almost 14 years. Martial arts emphasizes AVOIDING conflicts including backing down if necessary. Physical self defense is always a last resort. We also place heavy emphasis on respect, self-control and self discipline. If he truly does take martial arts, he is either in the wrong school or, more likely, it’s not being reinforced at home.

    • YAC June 30, 2015, 2:55 pm

      I seriously doubt this kid is in martial arts. The woman needed someone to blame the child’s horrible behavior on. What parent will admit, “Sure! I teach my kids to disrespect others all the time!”

      She’s a horrible human being.

  • Melissa June 30, 2015, 12:23 pm

    I think this brought up a great question of what, if anything, should be done when someone is being verbally assaulted – especially in a case like this where the person being grossly insulted is an employee and has little recourse.

    My first human instinct is to yell insults back and do it better than the original offender, to swoop in and be the hero, etc. However, I think we all know our first human instincts can be way off base 🙂 After thinking about it, I would hope that if I came across something so horrible as a Walmart employee being insulted like this, I would not insert myself directly into the crossfire, but either ask the employee who is being insulted to “come help me find something”, and/or try to quickly find a manager or supervisor to diffuse the situation and hopefully remove the offender from the store (difficult in a place like Walmart – but one of the bystanders could have even used their phone to call the store!). I would definitely want to make sure the employee didn’t lose their job. Not everyone has to be nice, but making racist remarks like that are just so uncalled for and should not be tolerated by anyone. Same goes for most unwarranted, ugly insults. We can all express our displeasure if the situation calls for it without resorting to name calling. Answering rudeness with more rudeness is not the answer, even if it seems more fun at the time.

    • abby June 30, 2015, 2:29 pm

      I am glad this was brought up. While I am generally a mind your own business kind of person, ignoring someone who is verbally harassing someone else who is not in a position to fight back, or making racist comments, is kind of like endorsing the bad behavior. Obviously, the way this woman went about it was wrong and didn’t help anyone, but it also seems kind of wrong to just turn a blind eye to it as well.

      I have seen workers be abused by customers and I am mortified for them, but never know the proper course of action to take as a bystander. Would be curious to hear others’ thoughts on this.

      • Politrix July 1, 2015, 10:07 am

        I think the proper course of action would be to completely ignore the offender, but address the employee directly: “Pay that racist fool no mind. You’re doing a great job, and I’m impressed with how well you handled it.” Then I’d speak to the manager (or whoever the employee’s boss is), and ask that the offending party be removed from the store, at the same time sticking up for the employee and commending her to the boss — because in the end, the boss — the one who gives the paychecks and the promotions — is the only one whose opinion matters. 😉

        • Politrix July 1, 2015, 10:10 am

          …just wanted to add: if a physical confrontation seems unavoidable, the classy thing to do would be what they did in the good ol’ days — “You got a problem, lady? Let’s take this OUTSIDE.”

        • admin July 1, 2015, 10:39 am

          Like this.

  • Amara June 30, 2015, 12:30 pm

    I had never heard of this prior to reading Ehell today, but reading the Admin’s comment I know I do not want to watch any of either video nor read much more about it than some of the comments here. Ugh; to call this disgusting is a gross understatement.

    What is most distressing to me is that we as a society are heading quickly into this downhill spiral where vile language, nasty behavior, and even physical altercations seem to be taking over politeness. I believe part of that increasing (and apparently not short-lived) trend is due to businesses accepting whatever customers or clients wish to dish out and forcing their employees to deal with unacceptable behaviors all in the name of “customer service.”

    Ironically, there are still far too many books, websites, internal policies, executive mandates and so on that force front-line employees to deal with increasingly nasty and even dangerous behaviors and even to appease them. But the questions I have asked myself and others include “at what point, what behavior, does ‘acceptable’ turn into ‘unacceptable?'” When is the business going to say to customers that we are not going to allow this and that behavior toward our employees and in our business? What will it take? A physical fight like this one? The use of a particular swear word? A gun being turned on an employee? Is there any end at all?

    I wish so much that businesses would not allow this behavior at all. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to shop and do business knowing you would never have to be subjected to this? I know I would.

  • Anna June 30, 2015, 1:35 pm

    This kid is clearly mimicking behavior of those around him. You can hear him yell threats in the same manner that the women were yelling, and he easily takes on the aggression when the bystander tells him to stop hitting. This is not his first time witnessing violence. Very sad.

    Also, last time I checked, no martial arts involved hitting people with shampoo bottles and kicking people who were already being held down. His martial arts experience was not evident here, but the routine of his violent environment was.

  • Devin June 30, 2015, 1:53 pm

    I’m sure by the time this gets posted someone else will have mentioned it, but why didn’t the employee that was being harassed go get a manager/call security or police? I didn’t even see anyone in either video that was wearing the iconic Wal-Mart blue vest. The Wal-Mart in my hometown didn’t have 24/7 security until recently, but there are emergency phones located all over the store.
    Besides the parking nightmare, this is another reason I’ll spend a little extra money and buy by shampoo from the neighborhood drug store.

  • anon June 30, 2015, 2:03 pm

    >>Third, the blond haired woman is clearly not handicapped yet she is utilizing a motorized scooter intended for the handicapped. If you can get up and start swinging fists at an assailant, you don’t need a scooter to haul your lazy backside around Wal-Mart.

    And this is where you finally succeed in getting me to stop reading the site. As someone who has had to use a mobility scooter due to HAVING CANCER, no, I wasn’t unable to walk, but using the scooter sure helped a hell of a goddamn lot. If I felt the need to, I could have gotten up and fought somebody, I just would have been extremely tired afterwards. You don’t know that person’s story so maybe keep your judgement to yourself in the future.

    • admin July 1, 2015, 12:50 am

      Ooo, you played the “I have cancer” guilt trip card *and* a “goodbye cruel blog” comment! But, it doesn’t work on me because I’ve had melanoma and uterine cancer and the corresponding major surgeries to treat both. I can speak with credibility and authority that in no way would I have been in “fighting condition” while under or after treatment of cancer. If you are strong enough to hop off your scooter to swing a fist at some stranger to start the fight, you have no need of a handicap scooter.

  • Karen L June 30, 2015, 2:12 pm

    Ugh. I hate this planet.

  • Kimberly Herbert June 30, 2015, 2:45 pm

    Both women in this story are 100% wrong. They both should have been arrested, and Amber should come under the supervision of CPS for using her child in the course of a crime – assult. In this case I feel the people filming were doing it for the wrong reasons.

    That said – I disagree with the posters that have said etiquette means standing by silent while someone verbally attacks another especially with foul language and racial epithets. It is the duty and obligation of all decent people to let bigots know their behavior is not acceptable in our society. It is the duty of those in positions of strength to defend people who are positions they cannot defend themselves. A retail employee dealing with an abusive customer is exactly this. I have told fellow customers to back off, I have dialed 911 and told the customer I was pressing send if they didn’t leave, I have written up statements supporting employees. If you are silent while bigots harm people – you are saying buy your silence that you approve.

    The same with some people that film incidences. This person seems to have done it just for laughs. The young boy that filmed the cop throwing the girl to the ground at the pool party – wasn’t doing it for laughs, he wanted proof of what was happening. Very different in my book.

  • YAC June 30, 2015, 2:52 pm

    “I don’t have to worry about him ever being bullied.”

    No. The only thing you have to worry about is him beating up women, committing crimes, etc. Ugh. Disgusting that she…wait…no, the martial arts teacher (YEAH, RIGHT!) advocates violence and disrespect towards other adults.

    If this boy really does attend martial arts classes, which I doubt he does, I’d like to hear the instructor’s thoughts.

    • girl_with_all_the_yarn July 1, 2015, 8:34 am

      Based on his form, I’d say he’s never set foot in a studio in his life.

  • Enna June 30, 2015, 3:14 pm

    The onlookers should have got the police involved. A man was filming – why not him another man split the two women up and restrained them until the police turned up? That child is a concern, admin is 100% right about him being a bully and his upbringing is only going to cause him to hurt people and get himself into trouble if not prison. Amber should not have been swearing or threatening or aggressive, she was just as bad if not worse then the blonde woman because she had her pinned down and kept on going. Between Amber and her son they could have killed that blonde woman.

  • Enna June 30, 2015, 3:15 pm

    P.S the blonde woman should not have been racist. Amber should have reported the incident to the manager or give her details to the employee incase she needed a witness.

  • Marozia June 30, 2015, 3:44 pm

    ‘White trash at its finest’. Truer words have never been spoken…….

  • Kippie June 30, 2015, 4:13 pm

    For those wondering about the police, they did arrive shortly after the video ended. The staff at that Wal-Mart have a policy of not getting involved in physical altercations.

    Both women ended up receiving charges for the fight, and the mother received additional charges for getting the boy involved.

  • Cat June 30, 2015, 7:11 pm

    This is a situation which got way out of hand. If you have a complaint about someone, see the manager. Do not engage in a brawl in a store aisle and never involve a child.
    This reminds me of a case in which a black man using a credit card in a store was asked to show his ID. The woman in line behind him knew that the lady who had been ahead of the man was white and had not been asked for her ID. The second woman became very upset, calling the cashier a racist, demanding that she be fired and generally making a scene while the man, who should have been offended, stood there aghast.
    He was asked why he was not protesting the obvious fact that he was being singled out to show his ID. He said, ‘I don’t know what I can say. I am the one who wrote, “Please ask for ID” on my card.’
    It is best not to get involved in things you overhear unless you are personally involved. Fighting it out in the aisle of a store does not reflect positively on your behavior any more than making racist comments reflects well on another person’s behavior.

    • Devin July 1, 2015, 10:34 am

      I was called out one time when asking a person for their ID before charging their card. It was the card holder who accused me of being racist for only asking her (the table had several separate checks). Why did I only ask her? She had written Please ask for ID on the back of her own card.

      • kingsrings July 1, 2015, 12:47 pm

        Okay, that is just way too funny! I remember being harassed by customers in the past when working retail for asking for their ID. But I sure wish someone had asked for the ID of the thieves who stole my checkbook and then proceeded to go on many shopping trips and causing me a huge nightmare.

        • NostalgicGal July 1, 2015, 1:07 pm

          I visited a friend in California, and anywhere I used a credit card they demanded my photo ID too. My friend said that was common. She has extreme scent allergies so some shops she’d see something she wanted and send me in with her CC and ID to get it. I would produce them, then MY ID and go she’s there at the door, she can’t come in because of your potpourri. They were nice but they WOULD walk the entire batch of cards and slip to the door and compare her to the DL then let her sign it. I would walk back then to get the item and slip. That was some years ago already…

          Anywhere I run a card I’m used to now having to do ID unless I use my ApplePay. Or it’s local and they know me.

      • Amanda H. July 1, 2015, 7:47 pm

        I’ve had the grumpy customer who got on my case about asking for ID when they’d written “See ID” on their card too. “OMG, why are you carding me?” “Because you told me to, sir.”

  • Adelaid June 30, 2015, 8:28 pm

    I honestly don’t see how this has anything to do with etiquette at this point. Granted, it may have at the start, when they were exchanging verbal rudeness, but at the point where a person is breaking the law (especially with assault and battery) etiquette takes a backseat.

    • admin July 1, 2015, 12:23 am

      There are, unfortunately, a surprising number of commenters on this site who think retaliatory rudeness is quite OK. This video demonstrates how stupid everyone looks when that course of action is taken.

  • Anonymouse June 30, 2015, 8:50 pm

    Others have touched on this, but I wanted to point this out… The “dojo-kun” or core tenents of traditional shotokan karate are as follows (brackets are my own comments):

    Seek perfection of character (certainly not being followed)
    Be faithful (not really relevant)
    Endeavor (also not really relevant)
    Respect others (not yell at them and tell them “I don’t have to listen to you” when being corrected…)
    Refrain from violent behaviour (self-explanatory)

    While I don’t know what martial art this child is supposedly taking, I know almost every single one emphasizes some form of these. Self- discipline and control are also key elements in martial arts — if he were to go “a little crazy” in a spar or tournament, he would be disqualified. Either this child is not in martial arts, his teachers are not doing their job correctly, or he has not learned the most important things from his lessons… In any case, if this were one of my karate students, he would not be permitted back into my dojo.

  • Anonymouse June 30, 2015, 9:07 pm

    Two notes:

    1) Why is it that all the children whose mothers are raising them “perfectly” are also the children who get featured on EHell? Either the definition of “perfectly” has changed on me, or mothers who make mistakes (and know it) are managing to raise much nicer (if not “perfect”) children…

    2) For a kid that’s supposedly been in martial arts for awhile, his form and posture are pretty terrible… Just sayin’

    • Devin July 1, 2015, 10:37 am

      Its because parents who make mistakes, acknowledge their mistakes, and learn from them are teaching these lessons in humility and forgiveness to their children.

      • Anonymouse July 1, 2015, 11:40 pm

        Rhetorical question, Devin! lol… Probably should have mentioned that in the original comment. 🙂

  • EF June 30, 2015, 9:33 pm

    I haven’t read the comments & I only got through part of the video, because it makes me sick. To think we, and when I say ‘we’ – I mean the world-wide ‘we’ – are now a culture who films this kind of thing rather than walking up to these two harridans, grabbing them by the scruff & telling them to STOP. (This sort of carry-on between jerks has ALWAYS been around but now, because of video phones, we can film it, share it, pass it on , have a ‘laugh’ & then judge. How f-ing wonderful! JUST what the world needs!)

    This is not funny, it’s not entertainment. Of course the little boy was punching & being violent – If that’s all his mother has shown him; and by her actions, that’s probably what’s going on. This footage isn’t amusing, just bloody SAD. I really don’t know if it’s the right thing to spread these kinds of videos. It just gives them importance, when I believe they should be ignored.

    Viral videos are so new, I’d be interested in knowing what the perceived etiquette is on passing them around is.

    • Lucretia July 1, 2015, 2:59 am

      That is extremely dangerous! Please never try to physically break up a fight- especially between two strangers if you don’t have the training. It will most likely not stop the fight, and end up with you (the person trying to stop it, not you personally) getting hurt. It’s not as simple as “taking people by the scruff”. I sadly have some experience with fights and trying to break them up- the best thing you can do is immediately call for help, and keep other people from getting physically involved so as to limit the damage. If the fighters will respond to verbal requests to stop, so much the better, but even in a school setting, the chances are the fighters only hear RAAAAAGE and HULK SMASH. If you’ve got the training to break up a fight and are prepared to accept the liability for it, by all means go for it, I suppose. But for the average person it’s not at all a good idea, and in a public place will likely result in injury at best, and injury and charges at worst.

  • Ange June 30, 2015, 10:09 pm

    Her son must go to that dojo from Karate Kid.

    • Michelle July 1, 2015, 7:33 pm

      For real!

    • Amanda H. July 1, 2015, 7:51 pm

      Exactly what I was thinking, actually.

  • just4kicks July 1, 2015, 3:04 am

    @Mary: the “kids” I speak of are 17 and 18 years old, they will always be my kids, even when they’re grandparents.
    …And the reason they show me some of those videos is in a “Mom! Look at these idiots fighting over stupid stuff and posting it on the internet….that’s going to come back and bite them in the butt one day!!!”
    I DO monitor what they tweet/text/Instagram, all four of my kids are subject to random “give me your phone please, so I can see what you’re up to”.
    The rule in our house has always been, “before you post ANYTHING, ask yourself “Would I want my coaches or grandparents to see this?”
    If the answer is no, they don’t post it, and if I do see something I deem inappropriate, I make them remove it immediately.