I have a story about someone who is, in fact, a good friend, but I would think twice about inviting them over as a guest again. Not because they are needy or greedy: rather the opposite. It was quite uncomfortable, and I am curious what my e-hell peers have to say about the matter.
See, I am from Europe, and my boyfriend lives abroad – which is a good 300 km away. When he comes over, he sometimes brings a friend because we do share a social circle. This was the case on this occasion. My boyfriend and the friend arrived, and we had a fabulous day in the city.
Naturally, as they came from afar, they were both going to stay the night. Since we are all students, I let house guests sleep on the couch in my own room usually. This friend did not feel comfortable with that, however, and insisted he’d find a bed and breakfast. I fully respect his wish not to share a room with me and my boyfriend: I can see that someone would want to sleep alone. However, I did not want to push the costs of a bed and breakfast on his narrow student budget when this lad has traveled so far to see me. So I made sure he could stay in the room of a housemate who was away, and, since he did not want to sleep in their bed and threatened me with sleeping on a bench in the park, I put up an air bed in the room for him. The blankets and pillows we had to put there secretly since he not only refused those, he told me I was being patronizing for giving him bedding. Naturally, he declined any food from my kitchen. In the end he did sleep in our house, but made no use of the blankets and slept under his own coat.
I like to think that, with the means I have on hands, I am a respectable hostess. And I am sure he only wanted to be polite; but his declining all my hospitality really gave me a lot more work than a “yes, please” would have. I would have loved to entertain this mutual friend of me and my partner’s but I felt very unable and I think I won’t invite him over again soon. 0817-14