I’ve got another one for you, and I’m not particularly sure about the etiquette here, despite my opinions.
We’ve got a “destination” wedding coming up. So we are looking at $500 in flights, another $300 in hotels, suit rentals, taking time off work, and the typical expenses that come along with it. Hey, we RSVP’d, we want to see our friends get married, give them a nice gift, and go on our merry way. Usual wedding stuff. I’m actually quite looking forward to it.
The issue. It has come to our attention that the wives of the groomsmen, while invited to the rehearsal dinner, will be footing their own bill for said dinner. Many of the wives have opted out of attending. Now, these wives all had the future bride and groom at their wedding/reception dinners, and their meals were paid for, and a location for those dinners specifically chosen so that all could be accommodated and paid for by the wedding couple. I know that the future bride and groom cannot afford any additional mouths to feed at their very expensive rehearsal dinner location (+$100/person, plus drinks), and that this location was picked because it has special meaning to the couple. I would have chosen a less expensive venue, but it seems they really have an attachment to the one chosen.
So, at what point would paying for one member of the couple- But not the other- at the reception dinner be okay? Or is it never okay?
I have an opinion- But I would love to hear both yours and the eHell community thoughts on the matter. 0913-16
Whether it is a wedding reception or rehearsal dinner makes no difference in the etiquette. It is beyond rude to invite a couple to a dinner and pay for one half of the couple while declining to pay for the other. It’s never okay. Ever. I don’t care how sentimentally special the dinner venue is for the hosts. In this case, place became the greater prior than people. On a budget? Either reduce the number of attendants involved in the wedding or find a dinner venue that is affordable so that everyone is offered the same hospitality.