I submitted “dealing with the obnoxious uninvited guest” about a month ago and I promised an update when readers were asking, so here it is!
I found a way to say to my friend that I did not want her on again/off again boyfriend to come to our party. She mentioned the invitation was on her fridge and I took the opportunity to say, “Well please make sure “Dan” doesn’t see it.” She responded with, “Oh don’t worry he isn’t allowed in the house”.
I felt this was a sufficient way to say in a nice way that he was not invited. I had been waiting for an opening to say something and I was glad it had presented itself so neatly.
As the party drew closer, she started showing her usual signs of reconciliation with Dan. These include vague posts on social media about her “date night out” sans pictures, ceasing posting positive memes about surviving loss and starting over, daily texts to me asking for encouragement and support ceasing, etc.
Because of this change in behavior I was afraid that he would show up to the party and felt nervous about any potential altercations.
Turns out I didn’t need to worry because my friend completely flaked out, even after RSVP’ing “yes” for her and her 3 children weeks before on top of constantly talking about the party for months. She texted me two hours before the party and said that she was busy chauffeuring kids to activities all weekend and that’s why she couldn’t make it work.
I would not be surprised if I find out later she was with him this weekend and was ashamed to tell me. She typically avoids her friends and family when she returns to the relationship.
I have taken some time to consider things and realize this friendship might be more drama than what it’s worth. I have decided to step back from the friendship until things change. I don’t need toxicity in my life . I love her, but not the drama. I am starting to feel like she thrives on it.
As a side note, the party was an absolute smash! Even with 20 people canceling the DAY OF the party on social media (argh), we had a great turnout with about 120 guests. It was a wonderful, magical time. The servers I hired were worth every penny because we got to enjoy the event with our guests! 1024-16
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