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Wedding Wednesday – Little Bodies With Big Voices

I was reading through the older wedding archives and was reminded of something that happened at my brother and SIL’s wedding. My daughter at the time was 4 and was thrilled to be the flower girl. She behaved perfectly until it came time for the kiss. As my brother dipped my SIL back for an enthusiastic kiss, the congregation laughed. My daughter turned around, put her hands on her hips, and said, “SHH! THAT’S NOT FUNNY!”   0811-16

During my one brother’s wedding in which an older married brother stood up as a groomsman, my then 4-year old niece stood in the pew bench, pointed to her father just after the processional and declared very loudly to a mostly quiet church, “That’s my Daddy!”    It just comes with the territory that toddlers can and will say and do “interesting” things at a wedding.

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  • Cleosia November 16, 2016, 8:33 am

    At least both of these stories were cute {and the OP’s little daughter was right. Marriage is a serious thing 🙂 }. Sometimes 4-year-olds can blurt out the most inappropriate (and embarrassing things)!

  • AS November 16, 2016, 8:38 am

    That actually is funny! And endearing. Maybe embarrassing for the parents for a while, but it can be a family story for years to come! Imagine this little girl getting married, and when the officiant says that the newlyweds can kiss each other, the congregation goes “that is not funny”! 😉

    My husband was the oldest grandchild on his father’s side of the family. So, there were many wedding-related (an unrelated) stories of his antiques that I hear from different relatives. Some families just don’t let you forget your childhood!

    • Dana November 17, 2016, 11:20 am

      OP here – good idea! She has no plans to get married soon, but I’ll jot that down to remember for her wedding 😀

      • NostalgicGal November 20, 2016, 2:20 pm

        Coming back from a family wedding when I was twelve, had a cousin doing rideshare with us back home, and he teased me mercilessly about how I was going to get married in a gunny-sack (old burlap bag). Fast forward eight years, and I ended up getting married in a white off-the-clearance rack prom dress made by the company ‘Gunnie Sax’… At the reception in the church basement I gave him a dollar, and when he looked at me I said you were right, I got married in a gunny-sack (and bent to show him the dress label). I thought he was going faint. I told the rest about the exchange in car after the other wedding… and about brought the house down. He flushed REALLY red and it was the best ever….

  • VioletLynn November 16, 2016, 10:02 am

    I attended an evening wedding where a toddler ring bearer fell asleep at the front of the church during the ceremony. A groomsman tried to wake him for the recessional, but couldn’t rouse the sleepy guy. He picked up the toddler, slung him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and turned to offer his arm to his accompanying bridesmaid. The groomsman carried the adorable tot, still sleeping, down the aisle to the admiring smiles and chuckles of all the guests. One of the sweetest things I’ve seen.

  • Linda November 16, 2016, 10:07 am

    When I was a toddler I was a flower girl in a lot of weddings. My parents have told me that when I would reach the pew where they were sitting I would head straight for my dad. My dad would then try and hid in the back or in a balcony. I would make it to the alter and turn around and look for him. When I found him I would shout “Hi Daddy! Hi Daddy!” and just embarrass him to death.

  • Wendy B November 16, 2016, 10:29 am

    Indeed. A family story is how my dad, about age 2 or 3, stood up in church, turned to the preacher and yelled, “Oh, shut up!” 73 years later and he has yet to live it down. 🙂 Actually, kudos to your daughter on expressing her opinion on the propriety of the situation!

  • JD November 16, 2016, 10:37 am

    My two-year-old granddaughter was a flower girl in my daughter’s friend’s wedding. My daughter was a bridesmaid. My granddaughter started off well down the aisle and she went along about half-way before slowing to look around nervously, finally almost coming to a halt. I was on an aisle seat close to where she was hesitating, and I whispered to her to go on to the front and stand by her mama. She looked over at me, surprised to see me there, and to the amusement of everyone, loudly exclaimed, “Hi, Nana!” After that, she was fine to go on down the aisle.

    • Ryo'S Girl November 16, 2016, 4:22 pm

      Love this 🙂

  • Lex November 16, 2016, 10:51 am

    At my recent wedding, one of my guests’ children, his youngest daughter, was slightly starry-eyed and a bit obsessed with my dress. She came up to me at the drinks reception and said, quite openly:

    “Now you’re married, when are you getting pregnant?”

    Out of the mouths of babes….

    It was quite funny, albeit tinged with a touch of sadness because we’ve been trying for years and failing. But it was the way she came right out with it lol. Her mother was slightly embarrassed but her father and I laughed about it (he’s a colleague so we get on well).

  • Dee November 16, 2016, 11:09 am

    That’s why I like it when kids are at weddings; they take it down a notch. As long as they’re well-behaved it is a pleasure to see the proceedings through their eyes. It’s so boring when it’s just a bunch of adults sitting there, pretending to be impressed with yet another show wedding.

    • Kate November 16, 2016, 12:37 pm

      That’s kind of a mean thing to say.

      • Dee November 16, 2016, 6:08 pm

        What’s mean about liking it when kids make a wedding real? Or you think it’s mean to be honest about show weddings? Because magicDomino, in a comment further down this page, says it well, ” … no one remembers perfect weddings”. That’s because they’re boring.

        I have no idea what’s mean about either of these points.

        • Lex November 17, 2016, 3:28 am

          Your original post comes across as a bit cynical – it sounds like you’re saying that weddings are all for show and not authentic and it’s better to see them through the innocent and un-cynical eyes of children.

          I think that is what Kate is getting at.

          A wedding shouldn’t be a performance – it is a celebration. I feel pity for you that you have experienced such misery in your life that ‘All weddings’ are inauthentic and sham marriages in your eyes. I married recently and our wedding was wonderful – it was intimate and personal. Our friends and family celebrated with us and we had a wonderful, memorable event. It wasn’t a ‘performance’, it wasn’t ‘for show’.

          I think what you were TRYING to say was that children are impressed and awed by weddings because they are new and exciting, whereas most adults have experienced weddings before and aren’t as ‘star struck’ with the wonder and ceremony of it all, and that it is nice to relive that sense of wonder vicariously. I just think the way you phrased it was unfortunate.

          • Dee November 17, 2016, 12:50 pm

            The way you have phrased my words is … incorrect, at the least. I never said ‘All weddings’ are inauthentic and shams. If you read my post again you will see that I enjoy weddings when they are about the people, not the show. But I am very cynical about weddings because I’ve seen very few in the last years that aren’t about the show. Adults do find meaning in attending wedding ceremonies when the attendants are there simply to participate in the bride and groom’s play; kids aren’t necessary to bring meaning to the event but they sure do kibosh any staging that was planned. So, I love weddings that are meaningful, hate ones that are concerned more with the details than the people. Again, how is stating that mean?

        • Ange November 17, 2016, 3:43 am

          How about just being pleased with the story without denigrating another type of wedding? Because that was definitely a bit mean.

          • Dee November 17, 2016, 12:56 pm

            Because it is funniest when kids act out like that when they are in weddings that are the most serious. If so many modern weddings weren’t so mistaken in their focus then the stories of kids acting out wouldn’t be so funny. It’s the contrast that makes it so priceless, and that’s why I pointed it out.

        • Anon November 17, 2016, 10:27 am

          Yep, definitely mean.

          You pretty much said that adult-only weddings can’t be fun at all. Look, I dislike weddings with an INTENSE PASSION because I find them boring myself (aka because none of them involved people that I was close too so 95% of weddings I’ve been too I haven’t had anyone to talk to besides relatives who share none of the same interests) and they’ve been Catholic 80% of the time (aka 2 hour-weddings that involved a Church service).

          But kids don’t magically make it more fun or anything. If anything they can make the situation worse, even if they are well-behaved. I’d rather be at a boring perfect wedding that have people talking about how Little Timmy threw up on the Bride or something decades later.

  • Ashley November 16, 2016, 11:31 am

    I’ve never seen a child shout at a wedding, but I have seen a flower girl who decided about halfway down the aisle that she really really really did NOT want to be a flower girl and her mother (one of the bridesmaids) had to come scoop her up and carry her the rest of the way and place her with her grandmother in the front row.

  • HB November 16, 2016, 12:46 pm

    At a wedding last year, the page boy/ring bearer (3 years old) got stage fright with everyone looking at him and refused to walk down the aisle. All the congregation had to make a great production of not looking at him (looking at the ceiling/in our handbags/at our nails). Didn’t work, so his father was crouched at the top of the aisle waggling a chocolate bar to tempt him down there. Didn’t work. So his big sister (aged 7) was given the job of carrying the rings alongside her bridesmaids bouquet . She liked it so much, she refused to hand over the cushion with the rings on. The best man had to wrestle it off her so the ceremony could continue. So glad DH and I eloped!

  • magicdomino November 16, 2016, 12:59 pm

    Let’s be honest; no one remembers perfect weddings. But they will always remember little Emily dumping her basket of petals on the carpet. In fact, they will be remembering this at Emily’s wedding. 🙂 That’s why I like the surprise aspect of little kids.

    • AppleEye November 16, 2016, 5:38 pm

      Pretty much this, exactly! 🙂
      People, don’t be shocked/angry when a toddler ‘ruins your special, perfect day.’ It’s what toddlers do. If you can’t handle that, have a kid-free wedding.

      • Green123 November 17, 2016, 3:59 am

        Exactly. My mother’s wedding to my Stepdad was ruined by a screaming toddler and its mother’s refusal to leave the church ‘because she’d miss the vows, oblivious to the fact that *everyone* was missing the vows due to the racket being made by her ill-behaved child. It wasn’t ‘cute’. It wasn’t ‘sweet’. It was horrible.

        When DH and I got married a couple of years later, we agreed to a child-free wedding. We are happily childfree by choice ourselves and were getting married in a venue that was not really suitable for children anyway (a pub with a barn attached). Only one person refused to come to the wedding citing ‘childcare issues’ – and that was the mother who’s child I reference above, funnily enough!

        • NostalgicGal November 18, 2016, 4:49 am

          That is usually the case.

  • Shoegal November 16, 2016, 3:04 pm

    My two nephews were in my sister’s wedding about 22 years ago. They were the same age and cousins. They were just delighted with each other at that time. When Daniel saw Evan for the first time that day – he exclaimed – “Daniel’s wearing the same – like me!!!” They were both wearing little tuxes. They proceeded down the aisle together as ring bearers – and jabbered nonsensical stuff all the way down. Everyone was laughing. About 8 years ago I had the two of them serve as ushers in my wedding – and it was a touching moment to see those two together in my wedding as young men.

  • Wild Irish Rose November 16, 2016, 3:27 pm

    When my sibs and I were little, we were all in my aunt’s wedding. One sister was the ring bearer and the other was the flower girl. Ring bearer reached the front of the church first. Flower girl ran out of petals about halfway down the aisle, and asked in a loud “whisper”: “I’m out of flowers, what should I do?” Ring bearer “whispered” even more loudly: “Sit down and shut up, stupid!”

  • Green123 November 16, 2016, 3:36 pm

    And this is why we didn’t have kids at our wedding.

    • Anon November 17, 2016, 10:34 am

      Yeah I guess it’s just me, but I’m not really finding any of these stories that cute or anything.

      Though I guess it’s because if I had been put in the situations that any of these kids had (flower-girl, part of the wedding, etc.) I would have broken down into tears not only because I didn’t want to do it but because of the pressure. All I’m seeing are stories of kids who shouldn’t have been in these positions but hey now people get to tell an embarrassing story about them later!

      At one of my cousin’s weddings my brother and I had to serve as servers for the Church mass. It wasn’t that bad then, but we also hated being servers so it wasn’t a fun time at that one either. Thank goodness being servers counted for service hours for school.

      • Dee November 17, 2016, 1:07 pm

        Anon – I think the important thing is for the parents to make the decision whether the child likes being in the spotlight or not. After that, it’s just a matter of letting things go and enjoying the day. Our flower girl howled all the way up the aisle and wouldn’t leave her mom’s side in the pew. That was okay by me, since I didn’t want her unhappy. Who knew she wouldn’t want the role after all? My very little sister twirled and fiddled with her bouquet at the altar, showing off the lengthy bruises on her bare shins since she refused to wear stockings. Fine by me. They certainly didn’t ruin our wedding, the ceremony went on and we were married just the same and I get to have my memories of them being there with us.

        • NostalgicGal November 18, 2016, 4:58 am

          I was a flower girl in a cousin’s wedding at 3 1/2. I was just past the shy bashful phase which helped. Those around me worked with me so I’d be comfortable with everything, and it went off pretty well. The church wasn’t scary, only time I’d been in a church that didn’t have the pews full of people was during the rehearsal… that seemed strange. It’s the kid and how they’re dealt with that can make or break it. I just wish the clueless would take the uncontrollable or screaming child OUT. Yes they MIGHT miss something, but in this day and age, just have someone stream it. You KNOW there will be someone there with a phone, and though you don’t want interruptions, it could still be an option if the parent doesn’t want to budge. Is it better you sit there and the kid goes off and NOBODY can hear or get around the noise; or take the kid out like you should, salvage the moment for everyone else and watch the stream on your phone…

  • Lanes November 16, 2016, 5:10 pm

    Cute stories, keep them coming! 🙂

    My nephew (2) decided halfway down the aisle he was done being ringbearer, and promptly dropped the cushion and took off to find his daddy.

    My sister (5) held a smile so well during the ceremony that her little cheeks were red and sore at the end.

    Kids are great at weddings, they always provide a memorable moment.

  • esmerita November 16, 2016, 7:31 pm

    My 2 year old niece was my flowergirl along with her 6 year old cousin. They sat very patiently on the alter step during the ceremony – until Miss 2 leaned forward and announced loudly to her mother in the 2nd row “Mummy, I need to do a wee!”

    She’s in her mid-20’s now, but the story is still brought up at every wedding related event.

  • MsDani313 November 16, 2016, 9:29 pm

    At my recent wedding our bubble girls (the had bubble guns) blew bubbles during the entire ceremony. So the entire ceremony there are bubbles blowing in the air and the pictures show them playing with the bubbles too.

  • JennJenn68 November 16, 2016, 9:53 pm

    I was a church organist on and off for many years, and some of the things I have seen are often screamingly funny and horrifying at the same time. I remember the time that the bridal couple foolishly used the real rings on the ringbearer’s pillow–a ringbearer who was all of three years old!–and when he got to the front of the church, oh, dear! the rings had vanished. The minister said to him, kindly, “Where did the rings go, son?” The tot smiled beatifically, rubbed his belly and said, “YUM!”

    I almost fell off the bench, which would definitely have made a very loud sound if I had hit the pedals. I was only eighteen, so I had a hard time controlling my hilarity. Fortunately the bride didn’t notice! The quick-thinking matron of honour whipped off her own wedding ring so that the ceremony could continue… and I’ve no idea what happened to those rings. (Not sure that I want to know, to be honest.)

    My Lord, that was thirty years ago. I’m sure that ringbearer still hasn’t heard the end of it!

    • admin November 17, 2016, 5:45 am

      You win the Internet today. Best wedding rugrat story I’ve read so far in 18 years of doing this site.

    • NostalgicGal November 18, 2016, 5:00 am

      I’m sure they got retrieved, and with a really good cleaning would be just as good as new. Indeed what a STORY!!!!!

    • Lomita Momcat November 21, 2016, 12:12 am

      ? Speechless ?

  • JayeRaye November 17, 2016, 12:49 am

    We held a moment of silence at my wedding, during which the younger of my two flower girls yelled “Are we done yet? Where’s the cake?” That pretty well ended the moment of silence as everyone spent the next couple of minutes laughing. 😀

  • Just4Kicks November 17, 2016, 4:03 am

    Once at at my Grandfather’s funeral Mass, where of course, everyone was crying quietly and being very subdued.
    My little girl, about four at the time, knows stories about God and Jesus from me, I’m Catholic, but rarely attend Mass anymore.
    Anyway, halfway through the Mass, my daughter very quietly asks “Who is that person hanging up there?”
    “It’s Jesus, honey….remember I told you how He watches over us and blesses us?”
    Oh…Yes, I remember Mama.
    About 15 minutes later, during a moment of silence for the dearly departed my girl pipes up with “Well….how LONG is JESUS just gonna HANG THERE?!? When is he getting DOWN?!?”
    I was mortified, and whispered I would explain it when we leave.
    Several folks, my mom’s step mom included, came up to her after the service and gave her a big hug saying they heard her comment, and it gave them a much needed laugh during the very sad service.

    • Tierrainney November 18, 2016, 9:29 am

      I have a funeral story, too.

      When my oldest was about 3, my husband took her to the funeral of his Aunt. She told him in the middle of the service she had to use the bathroom. He tried to take her out quietly, but as they reached the door of the church, she turned back and announced loudly to the congregation, “I’ll be right back!” he heard plenty of muffled giggles at that comment.

      • Just4Kicks November 19, 2016, 4:50 am

        That’s precious!!! 🙂

  • Outdoor Girl November 17, 2016, 8:52 am

    When I was six, I was the flowergirl for my cousin’s wedding. His fiance had originally chosen elbow length white gloves for all her attendants. But as the wedding got closer, the bridesmaids decided they didn’t like the gloves and opted for hats, instead. But six year old me was not interested in giving up those gloves and definitely not interested in wearing a hat. The bride just decided, ‘to heck with it’ and let me keep the gloves, and not wear the hat.

    I don’t think I made any embarrassing scenes at the wedding, though.

    And I love the story about the groomsman just picking up the ring bearer and still offering his arm to his bridesmaid match. If he was single, I’m quite sure he won the hearts of the single ladies that day.

  • Dana November 17, 2016, 11:19 am

    OP here – my daughter, who is now 20, is tickled pink to see “her” story up! She’s enjoying the comments and says, “I wasn’t such as bad kid after all!”

  • Pamela Love November 17, 2016, 7:53 pm

    When my BIL was a little boy, he went to his aunt’s wedding. As the bride and groom were about to repeat their vows, he shouted, “They’re not getting married. They’re just standing there!”

  • Pamela Love November 18, 2016, 5:04 pm

    And a funeral story: I attended a graveside ceremony after a funeral. One child piped up: “Is Grandpa in the hope chest?”

  • NV November 20, 2016, 3:11 am

    At my baby cousin’s baptism, his older sister (who was about… four, I think) ran all over the stage and did her best to climb into the font. Her parents managed to rein her in before anything went horribly wrong.

  • technobabble November 23, 2016, 4:31 pm

    At our wedding during our kiss, one of my husband’s little sisters (she was about 6) went “Ewww!” loud enough for for everybody in the room to hear. The whole congregation (including Husband and I) cracked up, and the picture that the photographer captured of us at that exact moment is one of my favourites of us. One of the best memories of the day 🙂