Me! Me! Throw Me Into Etiquette Hell!

by admin on August 27, 2009

So, I’m going to come clean with a Road Rage story that I was the star of!  When I was in college, when the lot got full, people would park on the street.  So, one night, I pulled into a parallel spot on the street in front of the college, leaving sufficient room between me and the car in front of me (there was no car behind me) and I went to class.  When I came out later, the same car was in front of me and a car had pulled in behind me.  When I approached my car, I realized that the jerk behind me pulled so close to my car that the bumpers were almost touching.  So, I got into my car, slowly inched forward then put my car into reverse and backed into the car behind me.  I did this several times until I got enough clearance from the car in front of me to completely pull out.  I had an older beat up car, so I really didn’t care if I dinged my bumper and I never looked back to see what kind of injuries I inflicted on the culprit car.  After all these years, I still don’t feel bad about what I did.  0720-09

When people “come clean” about some secret crime or faux pas they’ve committed, it usually means they are feeling guilt in some degree and want absolution.   But your final sentence reveals your true state of heart as one who doesn’t appear to have any regrets whatsoever about your retaliatory, vehicular vandalism that was considerably out of proportion to the “crime” committed against you.  So, let’s not fool ourselves.  What you really wanted was to gloat about how tacky, rude and destructive you were and that just doesn’t fly here on Etiquette Hell.  So, into the pits of Etiquette Hell you go.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Cady March 24, 2010 at 11:30 am

I saw a similar event once, but I’m loath to cast the car rammer into the pits of Etiquette Hell. The man had parked his truck legally and somewhat close to the car in front of him, but not excessively so, considering there a little less than two feet of legal curb space behind him before the curb turned yellow (and the car in front of him appeared to have plenty of room in front of it). Someone had parked their BMW (illegally, since only the front of the car to maybe the front wheels was not parked in the yellow) behind the guy, basically touching his bumper. The man in the truck inched back and forth, back and forth, back and forth for several minutes trying to get out of his parking space. Finally, with a visible display of frustration, the man put his truck into reverse and backed up, into the Bimmer, until it was completely in the yellow and enough out of his way for him to escape. Because he tried so hard to escape the spot before resorting to ramming, and because the BMW was clearly illegally parked, I think the BMW driver is the one who must be cast into Ehell.


Lisa June 9, 2010 at 12:36 pm

I lived in a large apartment which also included a one car garage. My garage door was right by the main entrance and people would always park in front of my garage so they wouldn’t have to walk the extra 10 feet to get into my apartment building. I would have to call security at least once a week due to my not being able to get into or out of my garage.

One morning, while running late for church, my two daughters and I went into the garage and got into my SUV. I opened the garage door, checked my mirrors (as I always did, due to the parking issue) and proceeded to pull out of my garage. We were stopped when I rammed into “something”. That “something” was a tiny compact car that was parked in front of my garage. It was parked so close to the garage door and was so small that when I opened the door and checked my mirrors to back out, I couldn’t even see it!

I called security and in the mean time, the owner of the vehicle came out to leave. (They were, of course, visiting someone in the complex) She turned white. Her cute little car now had the hood in the shape of an accordian and no head lights. I told her that I rammed her car and before she could say anything, I pointed to the “DO NOT PARK IN FRONT OF GARAGE DOORS” sign. I told her I had already called security. She got in her car to see if it would start and proceeded to take off. The police officer who responded took my report and laughed. My truck didn’t have a scratch on it.

I wish I had gotten a picture.


Offshoreoildude October 17, 2010 at 8:39 am

When I lived in Europe (Brussels) I noticed that a lot of drivers leave their cars in neutral with the hand brake off. This is because of the “bump” and move method that the drivers have to resort to using in order to get out of very tight parallel parking spots. With the car in neutral it can be pushed it necessary back a bit or if hit it will roll rather than resist and suffer more damage. No one seemed to mind – it appeared to be part and parcel of the very difficult parking situation.


Sally January 14, 2011 at 7:12 pm

I had something like Lisa happen to me. At the end of our street is an elementary school. They are always having things, such as a play, that parents are allowed to attend. Well one day I came out of my front door to run an errand and this woman was parking in front of my driveway. Her window was down so I told her “you can’t park there, you can not park in front of a driveway blocking me in.” She informed me “I have to get to the school, they are doing a play, and I can’t find anywhere to park.” I told her “I do not care, you can not block my driveway.” She again told me “I can’t find a parking place.” By this time I was getting angry with her. I told her “if you insist on blocking my driveway, which is illegal to begin with, I will call the cops and have your car towed away, and if I leave and come back and find you parked in my driveway I will also call the cops and have you towed. You will be isssued a ticket for illegally parking, have to pay the towing bill and an impound bill to get your car back, so what’s it going to be?” She finally decided that I wasn’t kidding about this and drove away. Now I have had people park so close to my driveway that I had to be very careful backing out or pulling in to keep from hitting the persons car, but this is the first and only time someone thought it was perfectly ok to block my driveway.


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