I don’t have an example of a faux pas yet — I just want to avoid one. I just received news that one of my uncles has passed away. He was married to my Aunt (Father’s sister) for many years, and they had 4 children, 3 of whom are still living. Growing up I was quite close to the older cousins (the youngest was born shortly before I went to college). My Aunt and Uncle divorced a few years after the youngest child was born, and he remarried. I still keep in touch with my Aunt, but haven’t seen her ex since their youngest daughter’s wedding. I always got along fine with him, and I feel badly for my cousins who lost a loving father.
I am planning on going to the calling hours to show support for my cousins. My dilemma has to do with whether to send my Aunt a sympathy card. She wasn’t mentioned in the obituary (which is sometimes standard with an ex-wife?). I don’t really know the details of their divorce, but as far as I know they remained civil since their youngest was still very young when they split. Would it be better to send a “thinking of you” card to my aunt? My sister thinks it would be weird to send a card, but I feel weird doing nothing. Suggestions appreciated! 0113-17
If I were you, I’d be inclined to call or make a point to chat with Aunt if she happens to be at the funeral and ask her, “How are you doing?” Based on that answer, I’d make my decision as to whether to send a bereavement card to the ex-wife of the deceased.