The story, “An ever expanding circle of uninvited guests”, reminded me of a recent scenario that came up for me.I’m a college student and in December one of my classes had a party. At the end of the party one of the women in the class, “D’jane” put out an announcement. “I’ve talked privately to some of the girls I’ve gotten close to but I wanted to extend the invitation to the rest of the group as well.” The invite was to a women’s circle held on the full moon. Two friends and I were interested and requested information. Out of my friends only I was able to attend. I showed up on time, and quickly realized this was a recurring event she held. The others showed up late. In all there were ten of us including the host. All women were between 25 and 30, and I only recognized one from class. I found it a very rewarding experience despite not really knowing anyone. The women were great, all of different interesting backgrounds, and I felt very safe and happy with them and the conversation. I was a bit surprised when the girl I recognized, “Eileen”, said to the host, “Next time let us bring snacks so we can help out”, as it implied we were invited again. As well as two of the other women mentioned they would be holding an event similar to this. At the end everyone stood and talked for a bit and after thanking the host for having me I told them that if any similar events were held to please keep me in mind. D’jane hemmed and hawed a bit and seemed to push me towards the door, but she did say she’d see if it happened in January. Well, January came and no invite to either meetings. I saw Eileen at school and she looked like she was going to approach me but quickly hurried off.Is it even worth it to contact her and ask if there was a meeting or contact D’jane and ask about a February one? Is that bad form? Is that the same as inviting ones self? 0130-17
Communication Is Like A Tennis Game….
Yes, it’s bad form to press for an invitation. You did all that was appropriate to thank your hostess, express your appreciation for being invited, and hint that future invitations would be gratefully received and yet it appears D’jane doesn’t have a particular interest in extending any future invitations to you. Communication is often like a tennis game where the “ball” is the dialog back and forth. In other words, you served a nice “tennis ball” into her side of the court that she could have hit easily hit back to continue the conversational volley but instead she’s not returning it. Game ended.
My suggestion is that if you found that kind of event inspiring and pleasant, use it as a pattern for hosting your own event.