My husband is a big guy. He’s 6’6. More than one stranger has asked him if he is a former NFL player. (He is not.)
My husband and I work for the same company, but in different departments. While I was at work (my husband had taken the day off, so he was not there), a man who we both know who does not work for the company but who we have contact with frequently (due to the nature of our jobs) said to me completely out of the blue, “What have you been feeding your husband? He’s eating good.” I just stared at him until he continued, “He needs to work out more.” I then gave him a tight smile and walked away, appalled.
I probably should have said something, like, “Actually, according to his doctor, his body fat percentage is a lot lower than what you would expect for a man of his size. And he works out at the gym 5-6 days a week, weightlifting for 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours on some days and doing cardio on the others. The guys at the gym are trying to get him to do the power lifting competition, as he can lift, shrug and bench press massive amounts of weight. He’s built like his grandfather who lived to be 89. So, please mind your own business. And please stop implying that I’m pumping him full of fatty foods like a farm animal.” I was so, so angry. Why on earth would you think it’s appropriate to tell someone that his/her spouse is fat and that s/he needs to work out more? 0206-17
There are times in life where the comments and opinions of people not worth living in your brain and heart should be ignored. It’s like you know the truth and it’s a secret you gleefully keep from them because it really is none of their business to know anything at all. There are times I chuckle to myself thinking, “You keep right on believing that, Miss Rude Person. I know better and the truth is so much more interesting.”
I did have a somewhat similar experience in the wellness center locker room last week. A total stranger asked me as I was preparing to leave if what I was wearing was a mumu. I answered that yes, it was but that native Hawaiians call it a “mu’umu’u”. She promptly replied, “Well, if you did some hula you would lose that fat.” I paused for a moment and replied, “Snowbird Bento was the first runner up in the 2001 Miss Aloha Hula competition (the “olympics” of hula) having lost the title by one point, she is a well respected kumu (teacher) hula and she was and is a quite large woman. Much larger than me.” Silence.
It was astonishing to me that a stranger felt compelled to comment about my need for a specific exercise after I had just spent over an hour exercising. I wasn’t about to go into a litany of every exercise I do six days a week so that she could feel justified in being a nosey busybody.