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Is She Really a Maid of Horror?

This happened to a young relative of mine, and I know most of the other people involved.

“Kristin” and “Lindsey” were two of a circle of about six close friends, dating back to grade school days. Lindsey was the leader of sorts, but not bossy or mean.

When the girls graduated from high school, they all went pretty much separate ways for college and/or careers, but stayed in touch.

Lindsey’s BFF “Macy” got married and had Lindsey as a bridesmaid; Macy’s sister was the MOH. When Lindsey, who had no sisters or female cousins, got married, she had Macy for her MOH, and Kristin and a couple of other girls were her bridesmaids. This made Kristin complain, because she said she and Lindsey had always promised to be each other’s maid of honor. Of course, they had been little girls when they made that promise, and although Lindsey still kept ties with Kristin, she was starting to grow tired of Kristin’s tendency to drama and her petty jealousies, so she wasn’t inclined to have Kristin as her MOH anyway. It was always known that Kristin was a little jealous of Macy. Kristin also complained because Lindsey got married before she did, although Kristin had been engaged longer. Lindsey pointed out that her new husband had to move for a new job, so they had needed to get married before Kristin, but Kristin was still unhappy.

Finally, Kristin’s wedding plans are made, and she asks Lindsey to be her matron of honor, “just like they had promised as kids.” Lindsey agrees, but is reluctant because A) she sees a possible bridezilla coming B) she lives several hours from Kristin and C) she’s going to be moving before Kristin’s wedding and will be in the next state by the date of the wedding. She asks if she can just be a bridesmaid, but Kristin is adamant, and says she understands that Lindsey can’t help much, but no problem, Laurel, a young co-worker of Kristin’s for about a year, is going to be a bridesmaid and has offered to help with a lot of duties the MOH usually does.

Lindsey offers to do what she can. She knows the other two bridesmaids, who are both from their old circle, but she and the other maids have never met Laurel. Lindsey finds a selection of nice, but moderately priced dresses and shoes in the bride’s chosen colors and style. She emails them to the bride and the other bridesmaids to see if they like them. The other two bridesmaids said they were happy with any of the selected shoes and dresses, but Laurel sent them all an email saying that Laurel had already chosen a dress and shoes, and Kristin had already agreed to them. Of course, they were much more expensive, but that’s what they now had to get. The same thing with jewelry and other expenses of the wedding. Laurel told them what they would do and buy, and the bride simply said to just go with it, so Laurel’s feelings wouldn’t be hurt.

A wedding shower was put on in their hometown for Kristin, and Laurel could not make it, so the other girls still hadn’t met her.

Kristin had made it clear she would love a bachelorette party, so Lindsey communicates a few ideas that would hopefully accommodate the far-flung maids’ schedules and their entry-level budgets. She and the other two bridesmaids were emailing away on ideas when Laurel sends them yet another email, stating that Laurel had decided they would have the party on a weekend in a nearby (to the bride and Laurel only) resort town, and had already ordered the tiara, tee-shirts, etc., The girls were to contribute XX dollars to Laurel at the party.

The other maids were appalled, and asked Lindsey what to do. Lindsey said grimly that she guessed they were going to have that party, but she was going to sit down with Laurel and have a talk when they finally all met at the bachelorette. Which she did, to find…

None of these arrangements had been Laurel’s idea. Kristin had demanded and dictated every single idea to Laurel, and assured her the other girls wanted things this way and everyone did them this way “where we come from.” Laurel had been getting more and more unhappy at the way things were going, but feeling very alone, as the one maid who wasn’t from the same hometown and old group of friends. By the time she and Lindsey finished their frank talk, Laurel had packed her bags, told the bride she didn’t feel like their relationship was close enough for her to be the unofficial MOH or even a bridesmaid, and left the hotel. She paid her portion of the costs to Lindsey before leaving.

Kristin quickly asked a young woman she knew a little bit to fill in Laurel’s place at the last minute, so her attendants wouldn’t be “uneven” in her fairytale style wedding. Lindsey and the other bridesmaids fulfilled their roles, albeit unhappily, out of respect for the bride’s long-suffering parents, whom they truly liked, and their sense of duty. None of them have had much to do with Kristin since, though.  0307-17

{ 81 comments… add one }
  • mark March 8, 2017, 3:42 am

    Perhaps this will be an unpopular opinion. But I feel this really shows how crazy weddings have become. So ridiculously over the top productions. Too many people buy into the fairytale/Disney Princess movie wedding. Without this Kristin would not have been able to so easily manipulate her friends.

    • Vic March 8, 2017, 9:07 am

      I agree. I also don’t understand these “duties” that I’m always hearing about. When I got married, the only thing I asked of my bridesmaids was to come to the rehearsal and the wedding. It was my wedding. Obviously, (at least it seemed obvious to me), it was up to me and my fiancé to plan everything and do all the work. I really don’t understand this idea that your friends are supposed to be your slaves and be happy about it!

      • LJ Briar March 8, 2017, 5:22 pm

        That was my “requirements” for my bridesmaids as well when I got married.

        And then they both got mad at me because I wasn’t asking them to do much, and clearly that meant I hadn’t really wanted them to be bridesmaids and I had a secret bridesmaid stashed somewhere who had obviously been doing everything with me so far.

        Not kidding. One of my best friends actually stopped speaking to me over this. I was so upset I almost cancelled the whole thing.

        Weddings are very, very weird.

        • Vermin8 March 9, 2017, 7:00 am

          My “maid of honor” was constantly nagging me about doing this or that and I was just telling her to show up for the wedding – and NO – she did not need to buy a new outfit and new jewelry! Her mom had called me to ask if I really needed that.
          My wedding was very, very casual and the only reason I had an MOH was because she had hinted about doing it (she is a relative).

          • LJ Briar March 9, 2017, 1:45 pm

            Ugh, I’m sorry. In my case, I genuinely wanted these two women to be my attendants, but just because they were close friends and I wanted them to be next to me on the day, but I was very determined the wedding be simple, so I wasn’t asking them to do much because…there really wasn’t anything to do.

      • Amanda H. March 9, 2017, 5:56 pm

        I had similarly light “requirements” for mine, though given it was an LDS wedding in a temple, there wasn’t a whole lot for bridesmaids to do anyway, so mine were bridesmaids in name only (my four sisters and my husband’s two sisters; my BFF from college who is close enough to be another sister wasn’t going to be local to the wedding, unfortunately). One of my sisters who is a sometimes freelance cake decorator was gifting me with the cake, so she hosted a party to test out the cake design. All of the sisters in question were asked to find a dress in some shade of blue, or possibly grey (as one sister still had her prom dress that she fit in and the color was close enough). The cake-decorating sister went with a few friends and I dress-shopping. Everything else was handled either by my fiancé and me, or by my mother who took it upon herself to get everything squared away for the reception.

    • Wild Irish Rose March 8, 2017, 9:18 am

      This was exactly the thought I had. People have forgotten what a wedding actually is. So sad.

      • Ulla March 9, 2017, 4:58 am

        Meh, large weddings have been a thing for hundred of years, and yes, even back in the good old days weddings were way to show your wealth and fortune. Nothing of the true purpose of the wedding has been forgotten. Wedding is a financial agreenment, with added religious stuff, but that is “newfangled” stuff, not the original idea. Of course, in near history, because of the wars and such, smaller weddings have been a must for some decades. But that does not in anyway represent the history of weddings.

        I live in northern europe, here it was perfectly possible that women of the village would get together and do handmade gifts such as embroided hankercrief for every wedding guest. On the other hand, our “maid of honor” was really more like matron of honor and she was usually older, married woman whose job was of course to help bride to bath but also give advice and such.

        • Dee March 9, 2017, 12:58 pm

          Ulla – a wedding was a display of wealth for those who had wealth. If you were poor you only had the wedding you could afford. Today’s weddings are different because everyone seems intent on copying (and going into debt for) celebrity weddings which are, naturally, very expensive. Even the “simple” idea of the bride wearing white was too much for many couples to afford, way back when, but has become expected since Queen Victoria did it, even if one can never reuse that dress again. I remember family weddings that were huge and well-done with plenty of food and new clothes but cost relatively little. Nowadays, even the smallest wedding becomes expensive when factoring in the ridiculously over-the-top dress and rings, never mind the hot, catered food and chandeliered hall.

          • Lara March 12, 2017, 11:30 am

            Prior the popularisation of white wedding dresses by Queen Victoria, there was no particular association between white and marriage in western (at least English) culture. Brides wore their best dress that was appropriate for church (not an evening gown, for example), and if you could afford it you bought a new one, but it could be any colour. Upper class brides might very well wear white, but that’s because it was a fashionable colour, and it demonstrated wealth, since only rich people could afford a dress that would so easily stained and ruined. Veils were also worn strictly as a fashion accessory (no particular bridal association), and would likely be worn over a bonnet or other appropriate head wear for church in the morning. The early 19th century was NOT an era of large weddings. Usually no one attended the ceremony but immediate family and maybe a few close friends. When the Duke of Devonshire got married, for instance, there were only five people in attendance: two of his siblings, and her parents and grandmother. Maybe there would be a celebratory breakfast afterwards that you would invite other guests to.

            Anyway, my point is whether large weddings used to the be norm depends on the culture. In some cultures, traditional weddings went on for days. However, that doesn’t mean that our current treatment of weddings isn’t ridiculous, and the wedding dress perhaps the most ridiculous part of it, since you never wear it again.

        • mark March 9, 2017, 4:06 pm

          You have good point. A lot of this isn’t new. It is still think in some ways it is worse nowadays, but drama has existed since the dawn of humanity.

    • Michelle March 8, 2017, 10:44 am

      I agree, Mark.

    • Vermin8 March 8, 2017, 12:33 pm

      I’m 100% with you. I’m 51 and am horrified and how expenses weddings have gotten – not just for the bride & groom but for the attendants. I could not have afforded that when I was young and I think it’s really unwise to feel obligated to spend that much on a dress, trips, etc, when one should be thinking about emergency funds, house down payment, retirement planning, future children, and probably paying off student loans.
      Stop the madness!

      • Kirsten March 8, 2017, 5:29 pm

        I think it’s incredibly rude to expect bridesmaids to pay for their outfits.

        • Vermin8 March 9, 2017, 7:01 am

          It does seem to be the norm in the US, however.
          And bridesmaids aren’t supposed to question the bride’s choices.
          One of the biggest lies told on a regular basis in the US “don’t worry! you’ll wear this dress again!”

    • Pat March 8, 2017, 1:00 pm

      I agree. It seems like often more time and effort is put into the wedding than into the marriage.

    • Ty March 8, 2017, 1:53 pm

      I agree, and I’m not a particularly huge fan of weddings for that very reason. Recently, many weddings I’ve encountered seem less like a celebration of a couple’s union and more like an exhausting dramatic production.

    • TakohamoOlsen2 March 8, 2017, 4:04 pm

      If people put half the effort into their marriages as they did with planning their wedding, the divorce rate would be cut in half.

      • oregonbird March 14, 2017, 11:36 am

        Sadly, this is a misogynistic pov. Since women make most wedding arrangements, that expectation means that women should try harder, because men don’t have any cultural expectation to make an effort. Women are expected to put in 100% of the emotional work, keep house, have a full-time pay check and raise the children, while making all the family plans. We do put in the effort, and attitudes that assume we don’t hurt us as a whole.

        • Mullering March 21, 2017, 7:06 am

          Sadly, this is a misandristic pov. Women are expected to do 100 percent of everything, men are expected to do nothing? What about all the men who go out and work long hours to support their families? I guess their efforts don’t count.

    • Jazzgirl205 March 8, 2017, 6:10 pm

      When I married in the 80s, I asked nothing of my bridesmaids except that they be at the rehearsal party, wedding, and reception. We paid for their dresses and I even paid for their parking when we were given a luncheon at an exclusive club. I didn’t expect them to throw me parties or have their hair and makeup done. I even bought them gifts for their service.

    • Mojo March 9, 2017, 2:03 am


    • Rebecca March 9, 2017, 3:24 am

      Not unpopular at all, Mark. Reading through this, now at the age of 51 and never married (I was unhappy about that two decades ago, but now perfectly fine with it) it just strikes me how absolutely ridiculous all these rituals are. Yes, have a nice ceremony, have your family and friends present, have a nice party to celebrate this major milestone.

      But your friends as slaves for the months leading up to it, forcing them all to spend so much time and money on YOUR party, whining and complaining and dictating and bossing…no. Good for Laurel for walking out. Red flags went up for me at the part where Kirsten complained about Lindsay getting married before her…really? What business is it of hers? Who cares who gets married first?

      And what of her new husband? Did he know Kirsten was like this? And still married her? I wonder about him too, and how long THAT marriage lasted.

    • Goldie March 9, 2017, 4:17 pm

      I think so too. Isn’t a wedding supposed to be a happy party where the bride’s and groom’s friends and family gather round to help them celebrate their special day? This reads like some kind of a ridiculous corporate out-of-town team-building meeting they were planning, not a joyous celebration!

    • Mabel March 13, 2017, 4:23 pm

      I have to agree with this. Also, I don’t understand why Lindsey didn’t just concede the MOH post to Laurel. I was asked to be MOH for my sister, but the dress didn’t fit me and we couldn’t get it altered (it was too big and the seamstress said she would have had to take the entire thing apart and it would have cost more than the dress). Plus, she lived ten hours away from me. So I conceded to my sister’s co-MOH, her best friend, who lived right there near her anyway. I did the guest book instead and it was fine.

      It seemed really obvious to me that Kristin was just messing with her since she didn’t ask Kristin to be hers.

  • Saucygirl March 8, 2017, 5:17 am

    I thought the story was going to end with op saying that laurel didn’t really exist and Kristen had made her up to control them!

    But good for laurel for leaving!

    • Anna March 8, 2017, 8:38 am

      I was expecting the same thing!

    • mark March 8, 2017, 10:07 am

      I was thinking the same thing.

    • PJ March 8, 2017, 10:39 am

      I was thinking the same thing, too! The truth wasn’t very far off, though… Laurel was a convenient fill-in to execute Kristin’s wishes.

      I think in Lindsey’s place I would have done much the same. I would go to some lengths for an old friend and think nothing of it. The bridesmaid dress dispute is not uncommon, and I’d go along with more expensive for the sake of harmony. The bachelorette plan is where I’d put my foot down with a simple “It sounds great, but I just can’t afford it. I can either do these other alternatives, or bow out of the weekend.”

      I wouldn’t cancel on being a BM for this, but I would be waiting with bated breath to see if Kristin comes to her senses afterwards.

      I have to say I really feel for Laurel! It must have been difficult seeing herself getting deeper and deeper into that mess and not knowing if she was the only sane person in the group!

      • Kat March 8, 2017, 6:37 pm

        For a minute I totally thought Laurel was imaginary, too.

        I’m really not down with other people telling me how much I can afford to spend on things (particularly because they will always make completely incorrect assumptions about how much disposable income I have); so I would have bowed out at the dress. I certainly would have politely said it was out of my budget, and perhaps even asked if it was possible to return the already-purchased dress so we could discuss less expensive options, but that I understood if that wasn’t possible and would be willing to bow out in that case.

        After that I’d leave it to the bride to figure out what she wanted to do, but I’m not spending more money than I have. Bridezilla can cajole or stomp her feet all she wants but you can’t squeeze blood from a stone.

    • Tim March 8, 2017, 10:56 am

      I expected her to magically have something come up at the last minute and not be able
      To attend the wedding. At least as a cover for not actually existing.

    • AMC March 8, 2017, 12:17 pm

      Ooooh! That would have made an AMAZING catfish story!

    • Angela March 8, 2017, 6:57 pm

      That’s what I started to think as well.

    • Bea March 8, 2017, 11:36 pm

      I’m glad that so many others were expecting the same thing. I was like “Laurel is actually Kristin” which was indeed the case but I thought that Laurel really wasn’t a person at all, not just a puppet 🙁

    • jokergirl129 March 9, 2017, 2:17 pm

      I was thinking the same thing.

    • Goldie March 9, 2017, 4:18 pm

      I’d say it was close enough! Poor Laurel.

  • pennywit March 8, 2017, 7:54 am

    Did anybody else’s eyes get crossed at all the names when reading this?

    • Blot March 8, 2017, 9:22 am

      I didn’t realize “Laurel” and “Lindsey” were two different people until the end. Made for a confusing read.

    • Bellini March 8, 2017, 10:48 am

      Mine. Just skip the “let’s call her X” people, it is not necessary! Also, too much relationship drama for me.

    • viviennebzb March 8, 2017, 11:11 am

      At least they didn’t just use capital letters in place of names, I find that even more confusing.

    • Queen of Putrescence March 8, 2017, 11:29 am

      Yes! I was confused for awhile but went back and read over it again. However I am very grateful that the characters were given real names and not just initials. That makes the confusion worse.

    • Ernie March 8, 2017, 1:06 pm


    • ally March 8, 2017, 1:24 pm

      Yes. I really don’t see why the bit about Macy was even included, it served no purpose.

      This may be an unpopular opinion too, but I feel like laurel knew what was going on and just didn’t care. How else could she see emails from the other maids saying 1 thing, and then believe kristin that they all secretly meant something else? Why wouldn’t she just email the MOH and talk about these things?

      • Ernie March 8, 2017, 4:42 pm

        Yeah, I had the same exact thought about the Macy part, it isn’t needed for the story, and makes it more confusing.

      • abby March 8, 2017, 5:08 pm

        I wondered why the bit about Macy was in there as well, but I guess just to add further evidence that Kristin is demanding by pointing out that Kristin was offended over Macy’s title as MOH at Lindsey’s wedding. Still, given all the other items in the story, it seems superfluous.

        • jokergirl129 March 9, 2017, 2:26 pm

          I don’t know if I would call that detail superfluous. The part involving Macy was just an extra highlight to point out how petty and jealous Kristen was and by that point Lindsey was beginning to distance herself from Kristen due to past behavior. Plus it adds a little more evidence/foreshadowing to Kristen’s behavior later in the story.

      • InTheEther March 9, 2017, 7:59 pm

        I think if Laurel didn’t care she wouldn’t have walked out after the reveal.

        She probably suspected that Kristen was misrepresenting things. My suspicion in those circumstances would have been that Kristen had called them and already browbeaten them into these plans. And even with that suspicion, I probably would feel too awkward to call these complete strangers to ask them if this girl they are supposedly super close to was lieing to me.

        It’s something of a step up from that to being given the entire blame for unpopular decisions though, and I don’t blame her for walking out.

    • Rebecca March 9, 2017, 3:28 am

      A little tricky, but I just tried to replace them in my mind’s eye with people I knew, and it became easier to keep track.

  • Anna March 8, 2017, 8:45 am

    Sadly, I think this is pretty common–bridesmaid/MOH drama fractures an old group of friends (who, often, are just on the verge of realizing they have all grown up in different ways and only their shared past glues the group together), who muscle through the actual ceremony for the sake of not ruining anyone’s wedding, but then never speak again.

    I think it is a combination of how some brides behave in regards to their wedding, the level of maturity of many 20-somethings, and the general place in life, developmentally, that a lot of people get married. I think people change a whole lot between the ages of 23 and 28, and it is a time when friend groups often evolve because of that. I know that personally, even without any wedding drama, my feelings about the people who were my closest friends when I was 23 had changed a lot by the time I was 28. Wedding drama can be a catalyst that speeds up this change, or can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back if this change is a long time coming but no one has had a “reason” to cut people out.

    • NostalgicGal March 8, 2017, 2:44 pm

      I was engaged at 19, married at 20, and the drama revolved around my mom’s reality check bouncing over the wedding she planned for me when I was 4, and didn’t want at 20. Or the fact she was off on costs by a factor of 15. Dad wasn’t going to be borrowing enough to possibly fill the gap between what it would cost and what he could afford. Or anyone else. And it was not going to be the crafty auntie brigade to try to do this (before pinterest or even a seriously stocked craft store). I finally derailed it by telling mom if dad was going to borrow that much, let’s skip the mess and give the money to us (two broke college students) to pay our bills and debts. She literally disowned me for three months and I didn’t care, she finally cracked when I wasn’t going to budge (acknowledge she was giving me the silent treatment) as I didn’t care. Dad said that was the first time someone had ‘won’ over one of her stubborns. In the end we were just as married (35 years and going) and I’m still happy it didn’t cost my parents that incredible debt for what I considered a farce of a mess. (all mom’s plans). Wish weddings would go back to less of a production and more of a ‘community ‘thing. I know, there’s a huge bridal industry out there making money off it… and they want to keep doing so…

      • mark March 8, 2017, 8:31 pm

        My dad tells a story about a coworker who borrowed money to pay for his daughter’s wedding. Unfortunately the daughter got divorced before he paid off the loan.

        • AJ March 9, 2017, 3:58 am

          Happened to a friend. Her mother wanted a big fancy wedding and took out a loan to pay for it. Her daughter’s marriage ended much earlier than the tenor of the loan. Stupid.

          • NostalgicGal March 9, 2017, 1:01 pm

            Classmate got engaged in last few months of senior year. She was a city girl, oldest of three and the daughter. She was going to marry a farmer and he put a whole carat (days before CZ so real diamond) on her finger. Nothing was too good for his little girl so her father took a second mortgage plus all the loans he could get to pay for her extravaganza. (the cost rivaled what my fiasco would have run a few years later). The marriage lasted less than a year, she didn’t like being a farmwife… (most of the rest of us could have told her what it truly was like to live on a farm, grain is what he was doing, not animals). Her father got out of that hole before he died. She tossed the biggest fit for wedding #2 when he said sorry I’m broke, I think she ended up going to Vegas.

      • Angela March 10, 2017, 3:19 pm

        My husband and I pretty much eloped, and the total cost (I bought some clothes, we took our witnesses out to dinner) was maybe $200 in 1993, all of which we paid in cash. Most of our friends had much more elaborate weddings and yeah, there were a few times where I felt a little envious. BUT at least half of those friends are divorced now, and we are still going strong almost 24 years later, so I think we ended up getting our money’s worth.

    • Lanes March 8, 2017, 3:36 pm

      [Like]. Spot on. Nail on the head. Couldn’t have said it better myself. … you get the idea 🙂

  • Anon March 8, 2017, 9:39 am


    Maybe it’s because I never did this (or I don’t remember doing it) but why do people put so much stock into what they promise as little kids? I mean great if you can do what you want later and you are just as friendly with each other! But… if you know the friendship is fading, why put so much stock into it still?

    • Yasuragi March 8, 2017, 6:19 pm

      I never did it either and I don’t understand it. I’ve been witness to many instances though. My niece is name after my sister’s long time on-again-off-again BFF. They were already in frenemy status when my sister became pregnant. Hardly talked through the pregnancy because they were on the outs. But she still named her daughter Jane BFF’s Name BFF’s Middle Name Smith. By the time BFF married and had children of course they were no longer on speaking terms and the promise was not reciprocated.

  • Lerah99 March 8, 2017, 10:05 am

    I’m not a fan of this new idea that it’s ok to burden your bridesmaids with over a thousand of dollars in expenses because it’s the bride’s “special day”.

    The last time I was a bridesmaid, the dress cost $60 and I was able to wear white sandals I already had.
    The bachelorette party was held in the hotel room all the bridesmaids had chipped in to pay for 2 nights since we all came in from out of town.

    Once I add in the plane ticket, my share of the hotel room, food for a couple days, and the wedding present – the entire event was less than $500. And that was an out of town wedding.

    If the bride had insisted on an expensive dress, multiple trips for a wedding shower, a spa day, matching hair and nails, a big night out on the town for the bachelorette party, etc… None of us would have been able to afford being her bridesmaid.

    Throwing a wedding is throwing a party. And part of being a good host is making your guests feel welcome and not burdening them. How did that idea get lost?

  • NostalgicGal March 8, 2017, 10:06 am

    Kristin, good riddance. I would cut losses after the fact. I’m waiting for her to warm up for when she gets pregnant and TRY to rope all the former group into the next round. Do decline, be busy, and give her the space she deserves.

  • Dippy March 8, 2017, 10:33 am

    I second both mark and Saucygirl’s thoughts. Weddings are becoming HUGE productions and IMHO it’s getting way out of hand. I too, was really waiting for it to come out that Laurel was imaginary!

    • Jazzgirl205 March 8, 2017, 6:21 pm

      I think weddings are full of all this drama because nowadays they are thrown by people who don’t normally throw parties – particularly large fancy parties. I let my mother plan my wedding and make the major decisions because 1) she was paying for it. 2) she has taste. 3) my father died 2 years before and I didn’t know how much money she could spare. 4) she had thrown many large parties of all sorts and this sort of thing would not faze her. I don’t think I had the most opulent wedding of my friends, but I had the most elegant.

  • Cat2 March 8, 2017, 10:55 am

    It sounds like a lot could have been avoided if Lindsey had included Laurel on the bachelorette party brainstorming e-mails.

    Or if anybody had stood up and said “I’m sorry, I can’t afford to do this. If you need me to back out of being in the wedding party, I understand.” instead of “I guess this is the party we’re going to have” and choosing to sit down for a frank talk AFTER the money had already been spent.

    Tiara and T-shirt costs are a lot less than hotel fees.

  • Cora March 8, 2017, 11:15 am

    Was there a groom at all? Or was he also just an accessory to Kristen’s Giant Day of Me?

    • NostalgicGal March 8, 2017, 2:46 pm

      Sounding like he was ‘get fitted to wear this’ and ‘show up at the time and place and say yes’ type bit. He probably learned more about Kristen than he ever wanted to know over the dramas up to the big day.

    • Lerah99 March 8, 2017, 2:53 pm

      This attitude of weddings being the Bride’s “Special Day” certainly does seem to relegate the groom to little more than arm candy or an accessory in the whole event. Which is just sad.

    • Anon March 8, 2017, 4:11 pm

      haha!~ Giant Day of Me is priceless!

      • NostalgicGal March 9, 2017, 1:10 pm

        Any day of the year you care to pick an average of 7000 couples tie the knot. Yes ‘my day’ is so unique and special. Yep. The ones that frost my cake are bridezillas that rent a venue well in advance and stop by to show it to someone and toss a massive fit because someone else is using the space. (not on her reservation time, pick a random time before that). Giant Day Of Me, I love that one.

    • Goldie March 9, 2017, 4:19 pm

      Hah, I like this!

  • Ashley March 8, 2017, 11:55 am

    Folks, if you are going to use fake names, please don’t put quotes around stuff. It causes a lot of people to pause and second guess what they are reading. Just use the fake names how you would if you were writing any other normal story. You wouldn’t put “Dumbledore” in quotes if you were writing Harry Potter, would you?

    Anyway, that said, it’s a shame Laurel didn’t have a polite spine sooner but at least she finally did something in the end. I don’t blame the rest of the women for not wanting much to do with Kristen after their obligations to the wedding were fulfilled either.

    • Amanda H. March 9, 2017, 6:43 pm

      I think they’re trying to indicate that the name isn’t the person’s real name, as though Admin is just going to assume that any story without said indication needs to have all the names changed. It bugs me almost as much as the stories that go, “I have a friend, let’s call her P, who did something…” because it’s awkward. Just say “My friend Peggy did this thing” and call it good.

      At least this story didn’t use single initials. Those are a pain to follow.

    • jokergirl129 March 10, 2017, 9:33 pm

      The quotes are just a way to indicate to Admin and to the readers that the names being used in the story are not the real names of the people the story is about. Yeah you might argue that the quotes aren’t necessary still since it should be obvious but you never know. After all the Admin doesn’t want submitters to use actually names for privacy reasons so using quotes or just the first letter of a person’s name is a quick way to say “This is not this person’s real name/I’m only using the first letter of their name.”

      Also the writing analogy doesn’t fully work because in your example we wouldn’t put quotes around Dumbledore’s name because that is his name. We have no reason to assume it’s fake and in books it would be odd to put quotes around character’s names. But on sites like these where people write about actual people they know they use fake names and the quotes just quickly tells you that it’s fake. Plus personally the quotes don’t confuse me at all. I can read it through just fine.

  • Vermin8 March 8, 2017, 12:26 pm

    Interesting. By the time I got to the anecdote on the bachelorette party, I was thinking that someone should have said “sorry, but I can’t do that” and possibly follow up with a “please discuss this with us prior to finalizing plans.” I also found it curious that Kristen found so close a soul mate, both in wishes and in self centeredness, so finding out that it was Kristen’s influence was not a surprise.
    No, Kristen was not a maid of horror. She was a young lady who was manipulated. This is why speaking up is a good thing – clearing the air earlier could have avoided a lot of drama.
    The horror in this story is the bride.

    • NostalgicGal March 8, 2017, 2:47 pm


  • kingsrings March 8, 2017, 1:25 pm

    Sounds like they were all missing their spines.

  • Miss Jagger March 8, 2017, 2:22 pm

    Wow…a bit of a confusing story but I see the point, people are starting to lose all sense when it comes to weddings. I was once asked to be a bridesmaid for (what I thought was) a close friend. The wedding was to take place at a beautiful and pricey resort in Mexico. Well, a few months before the wedding I learned that my then husband was leaving me and a divorce was to follow. I had to call my friend and tell her the news that I would no longer be able to make the trip to Mexico as I was losing over half of my household income, not to mention my travel partner and would need to use that money just to make ends meet for myself. I offered to help with anything I could in the meantime. The bride proceeded to flip out on me, called me selfish for wanting to back out of her trip, offered no words of condolence or comfort and has still not spoken to me in 5 years other than to invite me to her baby shower.

    A wedding is one day people, let’s think about how our actions for that “special moment” impact the rest of our lives and those who will be around after that one special day!

    • Kate Musso March 8, 2017, 4:04 pm

      Wow. And to invite you to the baby shower after that. That’s some gall.

    • bern821 March 8, 2017, 5:23 pm

      So sorry your friend was so self-involved that news of your husband leaving you was nothing more than an inconvenience to her ‘perfect’ day! With friends like that… you know the rest!
      Hope you didn’t go to the baby shower!

  • Kay March 8, 2017, 4:53 pm

    I would prefer spending a bit more money here and there than the b.s. a friend pulled the night before her wedding at a ‘rehearsal bbq”. I was arranging flowers for every single centerpiece out of boxes of dead flowers, plucking dead petals off each flower for hours.
    At the end of the evening, I was expected to do dishes, clean etc the mess from dozens of guests.
    At what was supposed to be bedtime, it was sprung that the bride’s speciality cocktail had not been prepped…and could we all help? I sliced my hand wide open bad enough to require stitches cutting garnish.
    No thanks given at all. Pay people in advance to do these jobs or don’t go over the top with details you can’t possibly execute.

    • NostalgicGal March 9, 2017, 1:14 pm

      Let me get this straight, she’d gotten florist seconds, past prime live flowers and you had to make them pretty? I wouldn’t be doing that. She could deal with her goth flowers.

      How did you end up being the cleaning crew? You were the bridal party member and the rest of the guests weren’t?

      Injury=would have given her the bill for the ER visit. And been out of the wedding period. She could find another attendant. Breaking something or stitches means ‘I’m done’.

  • Cat March 8, 2017, 8:27 pm

    Lying to me is a deal breaker. Trying to use/blame someone else to get what you want takes you right over that line in the sand. Her parents raised her; they know what Kristen is like.
    I would have told her that her lies ended both my participation in her wedding and our friendship. Find someone else willing to put up with those antics. I won’t.

  • sarah March 11, 2017, 10:15 pm

    I think ALL the bridesmaids should have quit at the last minute. Would have served her right!

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