This happened to a young relative of mine, and I know most of the other people involved.
“Kristin” and “Lindsey” were two of a circle of about six close friends, dating back to grade school days. Lindsey was the leader of sorts, but not bossy or mean.
When the girls graduated from high school, they all went pretty much separate ways for college and/or careers, but stayed in touch.
Lindsey’s BFF “Macy” got married and had Lindsey as a bridesmaid; Macy’s sister was the MOH. When Lindsey, who had no sisters or female cousins, got married, she had Macy for her MOH, and Kristin and a couple of other girls were her bridesmaids. This made Kristin complain, because she said she and Lindsey had always promised to be each other’s maid of honor. Of course, they had been little girls when they made that promise, and although Lindsey still kept ties with Kristin, she was starting to grow tired of Kristin’s tendency to drama and her petty jealousies, so she wasn’t inclined to have Kristin as her MOH anyway. It was always known that Kristin was a little jealous of Macy. Kristin also complained because Lindsey got married before she did, although Kristin had been engaged longer. Lindsey pointed out that her new husband had to move for a new job, so they had needed to get married before Kristin, but Kristin was still unhappy.
Finally, Kristin’s wedding plans are made, and she asks Lindsey to be her matron of honor, “just like they had promised as kids.” Lindsey agrees, but is reluctant because A) she sees a possible bridezilla coming B) she lives several hours from Kristin and C) she’s going to be moving before Kristin’s wedding and will be in the next state by the date of the wedding. She asks if she can just be a bridesmaid, but Kristin is adamant, and says she understands that Lindsey can’t help much, but no problem, Laurel, a young co-worker of Kristin’s for about a year, is going to be a bridesmaid and has offered to help with a lot of duties the MOH usually does.
Lindsey offers to do what she can. She knows the other two bridesmaids, who are both from their old circle, but she and the other maids have never met Laurel. Lindsey finds a selection of nice, but moderately priced dresses and shoes in the bride’s chosen colors and style. She emails them to the bride and the other bridesmaids to see if they like them. The other two bridesmaids said they were happy with any of the selected shoes and dresses, but Laurel sent them all an email saying that Laurel had already chosen a dress and shoes, and Kristin had already agreed to them. Of course, they were much more expensive, but that’s what they now had to get. The same thing with jewelry and other expenses of the wedding. Laurel told them what they would do and buy, and the bride simply said to just go with it, so Laurel’s feelings wouldn’t be hurt.
A wedding shower was put on in their hometown for Kristin, and Laurel could not make it, so the other girls still hadn’t met her.
Kristin had made it clear she would love a bachelorette party, so Lindsey communicates a few ideas that would hopefully accommodate the far-flung maids’ schedules and their entry-level budgets. She and the other two bridesmaids were emailing away on ideas when Laurel sends them yet another email, stating that Laurel had decided they would have the party on a weekend in a nearby (to the bride and Laurel only) resort town, and had already ordered the tiara, tee-shirts, etc., The girls were to contribute XX dollars to Laurel at the party.
The other maids were appalled, and asked Lindsey what to do. Lindsey said grimly that she guessed they were going to have that party, but she was going to sit down with Laurel and have a talk when they finally all met at the bachelorette. Which she did, to find…
None of these arrangements had been Laurel’s idea. Kristin had demanded and dictated every single idea to Laurel, and assured her the other girls wanted things this way and everyone did them this way “where we come from.” Laurel had been getting more and more unhappy at the way things were going, but feeling very alone, as the one maid who wasn’t from the same hometown and old group of friends. By the time she and Lindsey finished their frank talk, Laurel had packed her bags, told the bride she didn’t feel like their relationship was close enough for her to be the unofficial MOH or even a bridesmaid, and left the hotel. She paid her portion of the costs to Lindsey before leaving.
Kristin quickly asked a young woman she knew a little bit to fill in Laurel’s place at the last minute, so her attendants wouldn’t be “uneven” in her fairytale style wedding. Lindsey and the other bridesmaids fulfilled their roles, albeit unhappily, out of respect for the bride’s long-suffering parents, whom they truly liked, and their sense of duty. None of them have had much to do with Kristin since, though. 0307-17
Previous post: Moocher Guest Really Needed That Sink Plug