In the new trend called “sologamy,” women are committing themselves to themselves with their own wedding ceremony. These women, such as self-styled “sologamist” Erika Anderson, throw on a white gown, invite their close friends and family and marry themselves in a legally nonbinding way.
“I would describe it as women saying yes to themselves,” Anderson, 37, explained in a WUSA9 article. “It means that we are enough, even if we are not partnered with someone else. “You’re worth it!” she added. Anderson tied the knot to herself in New York City and advocates for the self-marriage lifestyle. “Anderson said she grew tired of people asking why she was still single. So, in front of family and friends she married herself,” notes WUSA9.
The trend has grown within the United States and has even gone international. A site, appropriately named ImarriedMe.com, is looking to capitalize on the trend by offering a kit to assist you in planning your own wedding ceremony, “self-wedding” rings and daily self-affirmation cards. “A self-wedding is a symbolic ceremony–about reconnecting and staying connected with you. Wear the ring to remind you every day to LOVE YOURSELF,” says the site. The higher-end “I Married Me Self-Wedding In-A-Box” kits cost $230. There’s also a company in Canada called “Marry Yourself Vancouver,” which offers photography and consulting.
My thoughts on this trend is to be skeptical of any occasion that deliberately draws attention to a person’s need to be affirmed or validated as “worth it”. Relying on external sources to validate your worth reveals a shaky foundation that can change or collapse on a whim whereas having an internal source of one’s own value transcends the need for artificial events like a self wedding to make a point.
And knowing how the wedding industry works like I do, it is merely a matter of time before gift registries become firmly associated with a solo wedding. You plan your own ceremony, your own vows, wear a white dress and flowers, invite guests and, of course, register for all the gifts. I will state here and now that no one is obligated to give a “wedding” present to someone engaging in a sologamy ceremony.