Hello Miss Jeanne! I wanted to write and update about the family disagreement between my husband (B) and his nephew (J) which I sent in a year and a half or so ago, here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/?p=4676
The original dispute actually started 2 years ago in January, and they finally resolved it this past Christmas Day at B’s mother’s house. There were several attempts by B to resolve the dispute between himself and J, which were rebuffed. He resolved to keep trying, even going so far as to speak to J’s father about the issue when they providentially ended up at a gas station at the same time some months ago. J’s father was aware of the situation, and said he would speak to J if he could.
The morning before we went over to the gathering at mom’s, B was clearly distressed at yet another holiday with the elephant-in-the-room weighing on everyone. So we discussed how, if the situation presented itself, B might again attempt to open up a discussion between them and iron it out. Something along the lines of, “J, please tell me what is it we need to do to get this worked out between us?” I actually heard most of that sentence being spoken from the front room when they were in a spare corner, so the rest of us looked at each other and immediately vacated the area and moved into the kitchen.
20 minutes later, B was so elated with the mended fences that he and J left the gathering, went back to our house and started loading J’s truck with metal parts and tools to help build a workbench for J’s garage.
I later learned that despite our thinking that J was uninterested in B’s friendship because of the repeated cold shoulder, during this past late fall or early winter J had come to the house to speak to B about it, but B was out with the dogs working in our back woods. I don’t understand why he never made another attempt or called or something. Nevertheless, I cannot express how relieved I am that the unpleasantness is over, and wanted to share it with you all. B even told J and myself that patching this over was the best Christmas present he has ever received.
Happy New Year!