A couple of days ago while chatting with my fiance we began jokingly discussing our plans to elope and be married in Vegas by Elvis to avoid having our two very dysfunctional families in the same place. While our mothers and stepfathers are mostly sane, it is our fathers and stepmothers who are out of control. My stepmother is a particular brand of nasty.
My SM (stepmom) is crazy and has shown a deep hatred of myself and my entire family, sometimes including my dad (her husband). They have been married 18 months and she…
-has told me that she was “messing around” with my father when my mother was pregnant with me;
– told me I was being irresponsible and selfish because I refused to babysit her granddaughter when I was given 6 hours notice;
-told me that her daughter would be my maid of honor;
-told my father that my fiance proposed because I was pregnant (not at all!);
-told my mother she isn’t welcome at my paternal grandmother’s home (Granny and my mom are close);
-called me entitled and selfish because I bought a new car and would not let her pot smoking daughter borrow it;
– called me disrespectful when I told her to stop calling my mother out of her name;
-told DF he is an idiot because he proposed to me and that I am a manipulative b****;
…and many more!
So my question is can I not invite her to the wedding? We want people who love us and want to celebrate our next step in life. SM has gotten upset at events and made my father leave because she didn’t get her way. I want my father at my wedding. I am not so sure about his wife. 1120-13
Nope, married couples are one social unit so if you invite one, you invite them both. Your father is not an innocent victim to all this chaos, btw. If he really did have an affair with Stepmother decades ago when your mom was pregnant with you, he’s a creep. And he obviously either allows or looks the other way when Stepmother says all these hateful things. He chose to marry a woman who has an ugly, ugly heart which says a lot about where his priorities are. In your situation, I’d elope alone and then later have a quiet dinner with your mom and stepfather to celebrate.