Foot in Mouth

by admin on April 16, 2009

Thank you for the chance of putting this horrible thing off my chest. I am recently engaged to my boyfriend of a year and a half and I have just started to announce it to my siblings. Last night I announced it to my 3 sisters, 2 of them being older and already married and with the whole package of kids and such. So my oldest sister tells me in a very weird and rude manner, after I told everyone that in May I would be having a small but fun little wedding, ” You are pregnant!!!! I knew it! That is why you put on 15 pounds since I last saw you!!!!!!” In fact I am not pregnant and I do have a weight problem even if I try my hardest. Right now I’m thinking of doing a wedding like my fiance wants to….Las Vegas….. with no rude family members!!!! Geezz…… got to love that family, I guess!!!!! 07-10-08

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Alexis July 13, 2009 at 6:47 pm

‘No, I’m not pregnat, I’m just fat. But thank you for noticing.’
I never even asked my BROTHER, my only sibling, about his plans for a family or the state of his wife’s uterus. People will tell you what they want you to know. If they don’t tell you, it may very well be because of statements like this.
Dave Barry said it best. ‘NEVER say anything to a woman that implies you might think she’s pregnant, unless you see an actual baby emerging from her body at that moment.’

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Patti March 16, 2010 at 3:48 am

I accidentally asked my cousin if she was pregnant and she laughed it off. We exchange email correspondance, sit with each other at family stuff and have a good time basically except for that.

My mom and my sister who were NOT there nor do they keep in touch or go to family things spent ages telling me how rude I was for saying it. How my cousin will hate me, never talk to me again etc. When my birthday came around a week or so later she sent late birthday wishes but she remembered which of course meant a lot.

Just stating it can be by total accident though she did say it rudely.

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Sharon August 7, 2010 at 6:44 pm

Patti, I would say that you are very lucky that your cousin is so forgiving.

How on EARTH do you “accidentally” ask someone if she is pregnant??????

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Princesssimmi August 8, 2010 at 1:17 am

My Grandmother had a wonderful retort for people who made fun of her weight. She would tell them “I can lose weight, but you’ll always be ugly.” I’ve used this a few times now and it works! I do love the “I’m not pregnant, just fat, thank you for noticing” line though, I think I’ll use that. :)

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Tori September 1, 2010 at 7:50 pm

my mother and father adopted me.it was a pre-aranged adoption. as in when i was born i would go home with my adopted parents. my cousin didnt know this when she came to visit about 2 months before i was born. so of course she asks my mom how pregnant she is and how she looks like her mom looked when she pregnant with her little brother. she was only 5 at the time so couldnt get the idea of my parents having a baby without mom being pregnant. anyways shortly after mom started weight watchers and got a gym membership.

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Shayna September 1, 2010 at 10:53 pm

Where I come from, old people (and I use that term simply because it’s the term I use to describe the rude, entitled, bitter, nasty, mean senior citizens – and my paternal grandfather falls under that banner, btw) seem to think commenting on a person’s weight is acceptable. I have a weight problem, always have, and it fluctuates erratically. The last time I visited home, some sour old woman, who I didn’t even really know, but just happened to be part of our family because she was my (nice) maternal grandfather’s companion after my grandmother’s death, looked at me and said “You’re still fat!” My prompt response was “And you’re still old and rude.” Wench. I have an uncle who seems to think it’s funny to make fun of a person’s weight, even though he’s overweight himself. As you can imagine, I don’t spend much time around certain members of my family. They may be family, but only because I didn’t choose them.

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DocCAC November 15, 2010 at 2:13 am

When my sil was planning her wedding, she came over to my mom’s house one evening saying she had gone looking for tuxes the same color as my brother’s Army uniform (hint: they don’t make olive drab tuxes) and that the woman helping her kept looking at her like “It’s about time you got married”. She did mention she was babysitting at the time and had both kids with her (one was a toddler she carried on her hip). She was wearing a top that was belted and was sort of a stiff cotton, so that when it wasn’t belted it hung from your breasts in such a way that it looked like a maternity top no matter how skinny you were. SIL was normal weight for height. I asked her if she had worn a belt with the top and she said no, so I had her take off the belt and go look in a full length mirror. She came back mortified and said she understood the look she got (this was 25+ years ago, but probably would still happen some places).

I also had my “Are you pregnant” moment when I was visiting my orthopedic doctor in a city I do not live in. I had had shoulder surgery and had to still wear my shoulder immobilizer, which consists of a wide stretchy band (kind of like a huge, wide ace wrap) across the chest with another band attached to it on the side to hold your upper arm in place and a band in the front to hold your wrist. I have had a weight problems most of my life, with fat primarily in the abdomen (think apple, not pear) and although I am still fairly overweight, I weighed 50# more then and the chest band really accentuated my belly. I was walking to the doctor’s office while my mom was parking the car, and a woman in a parked car called out to me and asked if I was pregnant with twins. I was feeling pretty good and decided not to embarrass her and told her no, it was only one, to which she replied it was one BIG baby and I laughed and agreed. I thought the whole thing was funny; my mother was po’d at the woman (who was not around) when I told her. On another day, I might have just told her, no I was just fat, but not that day.

I have also been on the giving side; I once asked another doc if she was pregnant and got the “No, I’ve just gained some weight” reply and she laughed. That was my one and only time I asked that question of anyone. It’s a little like assuming a child’s last name is the same as the mom or dad’s last name. It’ll get you into trouble more often than not.

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Hollanda, UK April 18, 2011 at 9:02 am

OMG I can TOTALLY empathise here. The 3 people (YES, THREE) who recently saw fit to comment on me being in the “family way” are not relatives, neither are they close friends!!! I don’t think the last person who asked me was being cruel, she was genuinely excited for me. She didn’t realise how much her comment hurt me. I know that because when I looked visbly upset, she looked crestfallen and mortified at the idea she had hurt me. :( I assured her I wasn’t that hurt and it’s OK, I know she didn’t mean it. I have now joined a gym.

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