It’s been a while since we’ve had a Groomonster story.
This is actually a small tidbit from a huge wedding saga. I put this under groomonster, but really its a monster family! My best friend of 12 years (Molly) decided that the man she had been dating for two months was “the one”. This was after I had talked to her numerous times and she insisted that they would date for at least a year before deciding anything drastic. Apparently getting married isn’t drastic in her vocab. So the date is set for six months after the engagement is announced. This seemed a bit too short in my taste especially because she lives across the country but would be having it in our hometown where her parents still live. This means her poor mother planned, put together and paid for the whole thing. To make matters worse, Molly and Jim decided that their wedding couldn’t wait that long and they move it up two months! This gave her poor mother just 2.5 months to get it together! When I asked why she did that, she admitted “We don’t want to wait that long” meaning to have sex. They are both of a religion that firmly holds any physical contact til after marriage. This brought up all new warning bells in my head because now I’m thinking this marriage is all about the sex, but that’s for another story.
So the big day day comes and since her and his religion doesn’t have a public ceremony, we have the ‘rehearsal’ dinner after the ceremony. It was paid for by her parents, again, because his parents refused to pay for anything. Well, they did want to pay for a huge barbecue for them, in THEIR home state, without any of Molly’s family invited, and conveniently placed the morning AFTER THEIR FIRST NIGHT TOGETHER. So that Molly would have to ride up with Jim’s parent’s feeling very awkward (his family is also known for being very cold and unresponsive). The couple ended up declining the idea, and in a fit, his parents refused to pay for anything (Molly’s parents even paid for Jim’s Tux and shoes!). But then proceeded to invite their other ELEVEN CHILDREN, along with assorted spouses and children, aunts and uncles, grandparents and even close friends. I think there were more people at the rehearsal dinner than showed up to the reception! It was obvious by the strained looks on Molly’s parents’ faces that most of these people had not RSVP’d. Then, halfway through the meal, another family shows up and sits at a different table (there’s about 5, with all the kids, too). They request to the waiter to be put on the tab as they were running late. Then they order appetizers, alchohol, entrees and desserts for everyone! Molly’s parents did refuse to pay the alcohol tab as their religion prohibits drinking. At the rehearsal dinner, I sat next to the bride as her unspecified maid of honor (there is no bridal party, as the ceremony is a closed event). As I turned to talk to her, her new husband reached around and grabbed her around the shoulders. He peeked his head out from behind her and whispered, “MINEMINEMINE!”, in a malicious voice. I was stunned, behavior like this coming from a grown man!
I think he was feeling jealous that I had known my friend for much longer (not that two months is much competition!), or something, because behavior like this had been shot at me the whole three days I had known him. Really, he had no reason to lash out at me because I had helped put his wedding together! I had come over every night for a week to put together flowers and paint decorations with the parents while he and Molly made out quite visibly on the family couch (in full view of children and relatives! could not keep their hands away. BTW, the whole family is very religious and conservative). I was also in charge of carting them both around on their wedding day and entertaining them for the full fours hours between the ceremony and reception. The kicker is when Molly confided to me that Jim hates his family and doesn’t seem to like hers either. She isn’t sure if she can make it for my own wedding (also to be held in our hometown, as I live here) because Jim thinks visiting family about once every TEN YEARS is the norm. Thankfully Molly’s mother pulls him aside and gives him a warning about isolating her daughter from her family. His and his family’s immaturity is still ongoing and I eagerly await a phone call about their divorce! 1029-08