I am usually not too demanding about how other people live their lives. I don’t even mind if people forget to thank me, or if they thank me with an e-mail or a quick note about something else, but I have noticed lately that there is an absence of etiquette among the young people of today. I have sent a gift of money, although not a large amount, to every one of my children who live away from home currently, and also to their offspring. I very seldom receive a thank you note. I have discussed this with many of my friends and they say they have the same problem with their kids. They, as well as I, have given a lot of etiquette training to our children when they were growing up, but the youngsters seem to have etiquette amnesia.
At first I used to send checks to the children, but then I noticed that they do not come back to my bank for a long time. When I asked them if they were going to cash the checks, I am told that they haven’t had time to go to the bank. So then I started sending cash. Recently, two family members have asked if we sent them a card since we usually do, but they never got one. I am glad they told me because I had no idea that there could possibly be a problem with the Post Office. Now, I don’t know what to do next. I asked a couple of the kids to come over and get their card. I delivered one card to their house. What a shame! Neither they nor we have much time to constantly making trips and staying home to receive cards. I finally e-mailed them all and told them my dilemma. Now they either feel guilty or disgusted with me for worrying about it. So the most recent thing I have done is e-mail them all and say “I’m sending you money on your birthdays, anniversaries, Halloween, and Valentine’s Day. Expect it. If you don’t get it, let me know. Thanks.” And if the robber of my mail needs it worse than I do, then I guess he/she can have it. 1111-08
I’m of the opinion that if you have to beg people to accept your gift, it’s time to stop giving those gifts. This isn’t just etiquette amnesia but also indicative of ingratitude that takes a rather blase approach to accepting a gift.