Ruin Thanksgiving In Four Words

1. There’s no pumpkin pie

   1. The horror!!

2. Pregnant? No..? Bean dip?

3. Your Mother is here.

4. Vegan gluten dairy-free

   1. I’d love some, please?

5. Lesh have ‘nother glass!

6. Entire family in politics.

7. Enjoy the Brussel Sprouts!

8. Looks like you’re getting fatter.

9. 1. My boyfriend is vegan
   2. He’s home from prison
   3. He doesn’t like dressing
   4. No wine with dinner
   5. We’re staying the night
   6. Sure, come on over!
   7. The cops are here!

10. The game is cancelled

11. Ex-Lax Chocolate Cake

12. “Well, my opinion is…”

13. The electricity went out.

14. I voted for _______.

15. The oven is broken
    We’re out of beer
    The cable is out
    The cook is vegan

16. Wow, you got fat

17. Grampa died this morning.

    (Really happened Thanksgiving 2010.)

    1. Wow, this happened to my BF in 2010 too. I don’t think you’re related either.

18. The turkey is dry.

19. Dog drug turkey outside….
    Who ordered turkey pizza?
    The TV is broken
    The wine is empty
    You’re allergic to tofurky? (if you are celiac you most certainly ARE)
    Um, powdered sugar gravy (happened once, instead of cornstarch, it just would NOT thicken…)
    Fred has the flu (how we ALL got Asian flu that year)

20. Are you pregnant yet?

21. “I’m not racist but…”

    1. You win!

    2. LOL, love this one!

22. We only have broccoli.

23. The Kitchen’s on Fire

24. OMG Thanksgiving was today?!

25. I forgot the turkey

26. Turkey became a cannonball.

27. Anything pertaining to Trump.

28. You’ve always hated me

29. Appliance repairman broke oven.

    (Truth. Came to fix one of our double ovens yesterday – after waiting over 4 months – and ended up breaking the working one. Not like I needed an oven to feed 24 people in 36 hours…)

    1. I think you won this post contest.

       1. Yep, that’s a win.

       2. Top runner….

30. My brother in town.

31. Cable’s out, no football.

32. The turkey’s still frozen.

33. Where’s my pet turkey?

34. Ex and the ex-laws

35. I have a kidney-stone.

    I actually did get one on Sunday.

36. It’s just a cold!

37. You owe me money

38. we are not contagious

39. What’s that burning smell?

40. Fido! Drop the turkey!!

41. Husband’s girlfriend shows up.

42. Cornish hen for twenty

43. You’re actually wearing that?

44. Your parents are here

45. Not really gluten free.

46. Where are the giblets?

47. This food is awful!

48. Not in MY house!

49. Norovirus spreads to everyone!

    (this happened to someone my son goes to day care with)

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