My nephew Dale is getting married this August. Dutifully, he and his fiancé, Jen have sent out their save the date cards. I don’t really remember what month but it was early and it was probably sometime last fall. I wasn’t sure who they intended to invite and wasn’t privy to the guest list. My Aunt Poppy & Uncle Ellis have lived out of town Dale’s entire life and has had very limited contact with them. So I found out later that Dale & Jen did, in fact, send save the date cards to all of my mother’s sisters, including my Aunt Poppy and all her children. My Aunt Poppy lives in Minnesota and her 2 sons live around there with their families and her daughter Erica lives in Chicago with her husband. Erica had said that she was thinking of coming in for the wedding and to visit and my Aunt Poppy and Uncle Ellis already bought their tickets to fly in for the occasion. I wasn’t sure and didn’t hear if their sons were thinking of coming.
It is now April and Dale & Jen are getting ready to send out the invitations soon. They announced that they have too many guests and wanted to cut my Aunt & Uncle and their children from the guest list, including my other Aunt’s adult children who live in the city. They said that if my mother (Dale’s grandmother) wanted to turn their wedding into a family reunion then she can shell out the extra money for their plates. My mother was flabbergasted. She wasn’t consulted on who they sent their save the dates to and would have been fine if they all weren’t included but now she said she would pay for them all to attend because it is the right thing to do. When I heard of this I was floored. To me, a save the date card is essentially an invitation. Am I wrong about this? The time to finalize their guest list had already come and gone and the decision was out of their hands once the save the dates were put in the mail. They are also living under the assumption that all of their guest are going to agree to come, which is highly unlikely.
My mother likes to keep the peace and will probably pay the money and say very little. I think my nephew needs a stern lecture on proper etiquette. What’s next, invite everyone to the shower but not to the wedding? 0412-17