I need some advice from ehellions.
A group of friends and I went on a trip for my birthday last year. We have a gaming group and all 16 of the ladies were invited. Only 7 out of the 16 could go. We invited other friends, as we found a condo that slept 10, and we had a ball. No drama, just great fun.
Fast forward to this year and 2 of the ladies who couldn’t go last year are insisting that they are coming this year. One even called me up and said in no uncertain terms she was coming. Period. I told her we were opening it up first to the people who went last year and if there was room there may be room for her. I never promised her she could go. She didn’t care about that, she said she was invited last year and said she was coming this year. Period. This woman is extremely controlling and likes to cause unnecessary drama. She has caused some drama recently and several in the group don’t want her to go on the trip. Others who don’t know about the drama she has recently caused are talking up the trip. I am in a pickle. I’ve already told her, before her recent drama, that we would have to see if there was space. I confronted her on her recent drama and she gave me the cursory/obligatory “Oh sorry”. There is no way she is going and ruining our weekend.
Even though she was invited last year, does that automatically extend an invitation for this year? How do we get people to stop talking about the trip? Then there’s the whole posting pictures on social media piece, as several are constant posters. I’m just really unsure how to handle this. We’re darned if we do (our trip is ruined) or darned if we don’t (WW3 will ensue). How should we handle this? What does etiquette say? Please help! Thanks! 0918-17
When an event is perceived as a group event, i.e. the members of a group are invited en masse, rather than a personal event, there will be a problem with those within the group who will expect to be included in subsequent annual group events. You need to rebrand this as your birthday weekend get away event of which you are the host/planner/coordinator. I would do paper invitations with instructions sent to specific desired guests, require an RSVP via email (and any financial deposits), set up a separate email list or a closed Facebook group for those invited for the purpose of sharing information (I’m assuming your party group last year coordinated meals among you all). Block the undesireable/uninvited guests. If drama queen tries to contact you, ignore her. It’s your private event and you are under no obligation to cater to the demands of a person who is not invited to attend.