My husband is the Best Man in an upcoming destination wedding. The wedding was originally scheduled for a venue in the town where we (ourselves and the engaged couple) live. It was decided by the bride that the wedding would be moved across the county to a state they enjoy visiting. This would cut costs since only a select few guests would be invited, instead of the larger number of friends and family that would expect an invite to a local wedding.
We were told upfront that though my husband was a member of the wedding party, we were responsible for all of our own expenses. My husband felt obligated to accept this arrangement since he had already committed to be the Best Man. This was a mistake, but it’s moot for the purposes of this post.
The wedding will take place during the work week, so we have taken time off of work, booked our plane tickets and hotel, and generally feel that we have accommodated how the bride and groom want to celebrate their day. But my patience is running thin. It is now one week before the wedding and we have not received any kind of formal invitation. Though I know which small town we are traveling to, I have no idea what venue is hosting the wedding. Additionally, it’s not clear if we are we expected at both the ceremony and reception, if it will be inside or outside, or even what time it’s taking place!
I have now heard from my husband that the bride and groom are sending us an “events schedule” as we are expected to accompany them on various tours and activities the day after the wedding as well.
Finally, it seems that the bride and groom have changed their minds and do plan to have a local reception when they return from their honeymoon (I smell a gimme-pig). I feel that we are more than fulfilling my husband’s Best Man’s obligations by attending the Out-Of-State event. Would it be rude to decline attending the local reception? We have not yet heard when this is taking place, but I imagine we’ll be invited (probably via Facebook or some such). 0315-16
I’ve seen this a number of times. The bride and groom don’t send any invitations to their groomsmen, bridesmaids, the officiant and sometimes even parents. Are people supposed to be psychic and know the exact details of the wedding day just by the vibes emanating from the couple?
Your husband has fulfilled his Best Man duties by being a witness to the actual wedding ceremony. It’s your decision as to whether to attend the local reception.