My fiance and I were invited to his cousin’s wedding. I’ve never met this cousin, but my fiance assured me they were close as children. We fully intended to go and RSVPed Yes.
However, the day of the wedding came, and we were both unable to go. My fiance had been injured in a car crash and I had slipped and fallen on some black ice. Both of us were medically advised to stay at home and rest, so we couldn’t make the two-hour drive to the wedding.
We called my fiance’s mother, who is the MOB’s sister, to ask her for the MOB’s contact information or to pass on the message and our apologies that we wouldn’t be there. (We found out later that fiance’s mother told not only the wedding party, but everyone who talked to her, that we hadn’t shown up because my fiance was in a car accident and then she hadn’t heard from us at all.)
I tracked down the bride on Facebook a few days after the wedding, because fiance’s mother refused to give us contact information for anyone. I sent the bride well wishes and an apology we couldn’t make it, and exchanged a few friendly messages with her. I got the impression that all was well with her, and I thought that’s all that mattered.
However, my fiance’s mother has been on our case for a while because she believes we should apologize to MOB for missing the wedding. I’ve heard that you only need to apologize in this scenario if the bride’s parents paid for the wedding, and I don’t know if that was the case here. I don’t believe there’s an appropriate way to ask, either.
My fiance dislikes his aunt, MOB, for a variety of reasons that don’t really need to be disclosed. Do we need to suck it up and apologize to her anyways? Or do the feelings of the bride matter more than her mother, and as long as the newlyweds are happy, is our obligation complete? 0422-17
You’ve done your duty to apologize to the bride. Ignore your fiance’s mother since she is being a busybody.