My cousin John’s daughter and my daughter are the same age, 15. We live about 1/2 hour away from each other. We get together 7-10 times a year for birthdays, holidays and to hang out. They invited my daughter to go to an event in LA to meet some actors from a TV show both girls enjoy. This invitation was extended the middle of June for leaving the 1st weekend in Nov and was to be a gift for their daughter’s birthday which is mid-Nov. We said she would love to go.
Fast forward to Halloween. My Aunt Jane (my mother’s sister and John’s mother) was in town visiting and currently staying with John’s family. DH and I had been out of the country for 5 days and had just returned. My Aunt Jane called my mom to tell her to tell me that my daughter was invited to John’s daughter’s mid-Nov birthday lunch. This was happening over Veteran’s Day weekend, which is a 3 day weekend sometimes here in the US. That date happened to be the same time my daughter would be out of town with our church for an annual youth event. One she goes to every year. This event was pre-paid in Aug. So, I told my mom that my daughter couldn’t attend the lunch as she would be out of town. Keep in mind we haven’t seen an invitation and are getting this information 3rd hand.
Later that day, my mother gets a call from my cousin’s wife, we’ll call Angela, screaming and yelling that how dare my mother say my daughter can’t go to the lunch! She was screaming so loud my mother had to remove the phone from her ear. She then proceeds to berate my poor mother and that she had expected us there and now we weren’t coming. She was saying how rude we were for not coming as she was expecting us. I don’t know how she was expecting us as we had never even heard from them nor seen any sort of invitation. She then calls me and left a screaming and yelling voice mail. When I call her back she proceeds to scream at me that I am very rude and she is done talking and hangs up. I text her and ask her what is going on as I have no idea. I was very gracious and giving her the benefit of the doubt. She then calls me the next day and starts in with what a liar my mother is as she told her we would be there and she makes all the plans for our family! I have no idea where she got this idea from as my mother also had just found out about the party and she hasn’t made plans for me since I was a young child! She also called my mom a liar as she knows for a fact that my daughter is not going on this trip. She then states that she couldn’t have possibly sent me the invitation as we were out of the country. She told me she has never been this mad in her entire life and then hangs up.
We debated about letting our daughter go on the trip to LA with them. We ultimately let her go. But I told my cousin in no uncertain terms (as his wife never answered her phone or came over) that I needed to talk to his wife. That until we talk there will be a wall up between our families and it just breaks my heart. He kept telling me to talk to her. I kept telling him I would love to but she won’t come over or return my phone calls. So I told him to have her call me.
Some back story: I texted them a picture of my daughter’s 8th grade graduation invitation 6 weeks prior. I hand delivered it 4 weeks prior. I texted them 2 weeks prior to remind them. Fast forward to the night of, in a packed house saving 3 seats 10 min into the ceremony. I text them to see if they’re lost. She texts me back, “Is that tonight? We’re already in bed.” It was 710 PM! My response was sorry you missed it. I would have had every right to scream and yell like she did, but I didn’t. Angela is extremely manipulative and controlling and does whatever she wants. If she doesn’t want to do something, they don’t do it. She is also from a Latin American country and uses that as an excuse for her poor behavior. She has been in the US for 30 years!
My mother was trying to be nice and invited them to my brother’s birthday party this June. Angela hasn’t called and we haven’t spoken since she talked at me and hung up back in November. Angela and I didn’t speak at the party. I did speak to John, her husband. My daughter asked Angela if their daughter was coming to her birthday party. She didn’t give Angela the date, just asked if their daughter could come. Angela laughed and said, “Oh no, we’ll be on our cruise! Ha ha ha!” My daughter was very hurt by this so she sent her a very nice text telling her how sad she was that she would treat her this way. And how sad she was that she would treat my mother and me the way that she has. And my 15 yr old daughter wanted to talk to her on the phone and asked Angela to call her. I read the text and it was very nice and heartfelt.
Now, Angela is not speaking to either of us due to our “rudeness”. She has blocked me and now my daughter, from all social media. She has blocked our numbers from her phone as she told my mother we were so rude and hurtful to her. She has called up my mother and lied about me saying I told her to stay away from my kids (2 of my kids are adults and I never tell them who they can and cannot see!) and she was hurt that I didn’t hug her at the party! (Takes 2 to hug and she came nowhere near me either). She is also calling Aunt Jane and lying to her about my daughter and saying that my daughter told her to stay away from us! Total lies! All we wanted to do was have a conversation with her. But, apparently she wants to have her 2 year old tantrum and think we’re the bad people. She has always been controlling and manipulative, but this was the last straw. Who treats anyone like that? 0828-18