My sister “Pam” and her fiancé “Jim” are getting married in two weeks. They are both in the early 30’s , and this is the first marriage for both of them. They’ve had a rather long courtship (12 years) and a very long engagement (almost 8 years). There are a lot of reasons for the delay: her going back to school, him serving two tours in the army, both experiencing career changes, etc. But finally, the planets have aligned, and they are now ready to make it official. They set the date a year ago and sent out save-the-dates 6 months ago. I’m in the bridal party, as are both of Jim’s brothers and a couple friends.
Over the last two months, I’ve hosted both Beth’s bridal shower and bachelorette party. Both went smoothly, and we had a great time. Last night (two weeks out from the wedding), Pam called me for advice. Apparently, neither Jim’s brothers nor his friends have planned a bachelor party or celebration of any kind for Jim before the wedding. Jim had mentioned ideas to them several times over the last few weeks. Pam even took the initiative to reach out to each of the groomsmen and make sure they had each other’s contact information. Jim wasn’t expecting anything big. Pizza, beer, and poker would have been fine. Mostly I think he just wanted the comfort of knowing he had people in his life who cared enough to make an effort. But not one of them did. Jim is heartbroken.
Pam told me that she reached out to each of the groomsmen to find out what happened. Of course, they all had their reasons: jobs, kids, various obligations. I personally do not buy that excuse. I have a full-time job, a kid, and many obligations and still managed to host TWO bridal events for my sister. Also, these guys have known about the wedding for the better part of a year. I don’t know if it’s the fact of Pam and Jim’s long engagement, laziness on the part of the groomsmen, or just poor communication that’s at fault here. As far as I know, Jim has a good relationship with both of his brothers, so that’s not the issue.
I know, I know, I know. No one is OWED a bachelor party. But I can’t help but feel bad for Jim. I feel like his friends and brothers let him down. And now Pam, who is already overwhelmed with wedding planning, is asking me what to do. Should she do nothing and encourage Jim to just get over it? Should she plan a party for him herself? Should she call up the groomsmen and demand that they put something together ASAP? For what it’s worth, I promised Pam that if the groomsmen don’t come through, I would plan a party in Jim’s honor next weekend. I may not be a guy, but I know how to throw together a shindig on short notice.
What do the EHellions think about this? 0913-18
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