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Wedding Wednesday – Color Coordinating Contacts

A reader sent this in yesterday. The original Facebook post was made to a wedding planning group. On Ehell we did not deliberately expose brides by name but it seems to me that social media has inadvertently created a medium by which brides expose themselves to shaming for their ridiculous expectations.

{ 78 comments… add one }
  • Kirsten January 16, 2019, 8:12 am

    I really hope it’s a spoof. But at least she’s offering to pay for the lenses herself.

  • Liz January 16, 2019, 8:41 am

    How over the top? Extremely! if i were one of her bridesmaids, and she brought this up, after I stopped laughing, I’d let her know, in no uncertain terms, it ain’t happening. I wear glasses, can’t do contacts, so nope. wouldn’t even work. not to mention, i believe any contacts, prescription or just color, need t obe obtained by prescription and through a licensed professional.

    I can’t imagine ANY one of the guests etc. will be looking or noticing the eye color of the bridal party. she’s really over the top.

    • Onikenbai January 16, 2019, 5:44 pm

      You can buy colour contacts without a prescription, even from sites that you would normally think would require it. I’ve done it a few times myself. Just leave the prescription strength as zero when shopping and things should be all good. I like to change my eye colour but I also like to keep my glasses on and not that many people carry purple contacts…

      • Disconnected January 18, 2019, 3:43 am

        Actually not all of us can buy our contacts without an optometrist. My astigmatism is bad enough that I need a particular shape of contact to wear on one of my eyes.

    • Lenore January 17, 2019, 10:21 am

      Not everyone can wear contacts! My Mom, and my best friend both have dry eyes. Contact lenses for them = torture. If you want a bridesmaid to walk down the aisle with red, swollen weepy eyes, by all means…Yeesh.

  • Shoegal January 16, 2019, 8:52 am

    Bride is delusional. I get wanting to make your wedding the day you want it but somebody needs to answer that post with “Yes, it’s over the top – get over yourself.” I remember calling up my sister worrying over my centerpieces – but this seems tame in comparison.

  • MusicWithRocksInIt January 16, 2019, 8:53 am

    Well – it’s a good thing you don’t mind being overshadowed because no one is gonna notice you at all with those glowing neon gowns all around you. All the focus will be on why you made your bridesmaids wear highlighters.

    • Teapot January 17, 2019, 1:16 pm

      Music,that’s brilliant! Yes, they will look like giant, glow-in-the-dark highlighters.

  • JD January 16, 2019, 8:57 am

    Please tell me no one is seriously thinking that eye color is an issue and really wants to buy contact lenses for the bridesmaids. Surely no one would really think that!
    If this is true, I wonder what those who, like me, already wear contacts for vision correction, would do, unless the bride is willing to fork over for corrective colored lenses. And those who don’t wear contacts already — are they supposed to get used to wearing contacts and learn how to wear, clean, and store them correctly in time for the wedding? Or is the bride proposing to get one set of daily wears (that are thrown away after 24 hours) and then hope that the brides can all just pop them in on the morning of the wedding after zero time to learn how to wear/handle contacts?
    I love how she describes her own eye color as “rich amber brown.” Funny, I always just describe mine as “brown.”
    I’m not criticizing the color of that dress, but I think it would be a trying color for a lot of complexions to take, by the way, no matter what color eyes they have.

    • ladyv21454 January 16, 2019, 9:10 am

      Sadly, since I belong to a wedding shaming group, I can EASILY believe someone would do this. It would never occur to her that for someone who doesn’t normally wear contacts, wearing them for the wedding could be very uncomfortable. As for her own eye color – yeah, that’s a little TOO descriptive. The worst I usually go with mine is “dark brown”.

      And that dress color is hideous – it’s likely that none of the bridesmaids will look good in it. I know I look jaundiced if I wear that shade.

      • LIvvy17 January 23, 2019, 12:11 pm

        What is the group? Is it amusing to read?

    • Leigh January 16, 2019, 10:00 am

      And not to mention that those of us who wear corrective lenses do so with ones that have been fitted by our optometrists, and not all of us can wear the same kinds because of the shape of our eyes.

      And some people can’t stand to wear contacts, and some people cannot wear them for a myriad of reasons.

      Someone needs to reel this chick in big time. Hopefully she has a friend or family member that is willing to step up and tell her to knock it off.

    • Queen of Putrescence January 16, 2019, 10:49 am

      “Rich amber brown”. The bride is completely full of herself.

    • Suzy January 16, 2019, 11:59 am

      I remember reading a story about how Daniel Radcliffe was supposed to wear colored contacts for the Harry Potter movies but he had a reaction, so Harry just had to have the wrong colored eyes. What if this had happened to a bridesmaid on the day of the ceremony? Wouldn’t their red, puffy eyes clash with chartreuse?

      • EchoGirl January 17, 2019, 2:08 am

        The same thing happened to Orlando Bloom on Lord of the Rings. They ended up doing most of the eye color digitally combined with the short amount of time he could tolerate the lenses for close-ups; if you watch carefully there are a few shots with him in the near background where you can see that he doesn’t actually have blue eyes.

        • AM January 18, 2019, 12:25 am

          Didn’t something similar happen with Emilia Clarke on Game of Thrones? Daenerys was supposed to have violet eyes, but there was some issue with the color contacts so they just dropped that part.

    • many bells down January 16, 2019, 1:20 pm

      Yeah, I’d look like ass in that dress, but not because of my blue eyes. More like my very pale skin and very pink cheeks. There’s a lot more skin than eyes to contrast with that color!

    • Ginatonic January 16, 2019, 7:22 pm

      Ohhhh I believe this. I read the title and thought I’d already read this story on reddit. But it’s a different story than expected. So not only does it happen but it’s happened a couple of times. Some brides seem really obsessed with colour matching

  • Anon January 16, 2019, 9:06 am

    I cannot believe this is real! I think this may be a very creative troll.

  • Wild Irish Rose January 16, 2019, 9:06 am

    I’m going to go out on a limb here and blame not just the bride, but the entire wedding industry. Weddings used to be a celebration of love; now they’re just ridiculously expensive look-at-me parties. The wedding industry has pretty much convinced brides that they can do whatever they want to, make whatever demands they deem “necessary,” because if they don’t they won’t have the PERFECT DAY. Sheesh. Is there not enough selfishness in the world without this?

    • Liz January 16, 2019, 1:40 pm

      Sadly, I think you are correct. And not just limited to weddings. Baby gender reveal parties, prom proposals the list goes on. EVERYTHING has to be a huge production.

      • Wild Irish Rose January 17, 2019, 9:19 am

        Yup. It’s disgusting, and people have no clue how to handle disappointment.

      • LIvvy17 January 23, 2019, 12:15 pm

        I think some of it has to do with the fact that we very rarely entertain, or meet up in large social groups at all anymore. Younger people, in particular, live virtually more than they do in reality, and may place too much value on having the perfect photograph than the perfect memory. But, in some ways, most of us went through the same gradual process, of learning that what “people” in general think of you is far less important than what your actual, close friends and family know about you. It just plays out in a different medium than it did for my generation. 🙂

  • essie January 16, 2019, 9:11 am


  • bopper January 16, 2019, 9:36 am

    Or was this someone trolling

  • DGS January 16, 2019, 9:38 am

    The only response this would warrant is, “Oh, for all of all that is holy, get over yourself”.

  • Cat2 January 16, 2019, 9:43 am

    I am seriously hoping this was sarcasm.

    I asked my bridesmaids if they wanted to carry small bouquets or not. They told me this was supposed to be my choice. I told them they got some choices because they were there to stand up for, not to be my props to just be dressed however I wanted. I love my bridesmaids. To a woman they said “Yes we are!” But I think even they would have rebelled at this…

  • flora January 16, 2019, 9:59 am

    At least the bride is asking a wedding group and willing to pay for the contacts. She not (at least not yet) whining about how her bridesmaids are refusing to wear them. Yes, someone does need to tell her it’s over the top and no one will notice the bridesmaids eye color clashing with the dress but I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and saying she probably just got swept away in the planning.

  • PhDeath January 16, 2019, 10:03 am

    I would only support this idea if the contacts used were the ones from Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video! (Just kidding, of course. If this is real, puh-leeze.)

  • SadieMae January 16, 2019, 10:40 am

    I’m just laughing at the “I’M not afraid of being overshadowed!” As if anyone would attend the wedding, be asked how the bride looked, and reply, “Gosh, I can’t remember; this one bridesmaid had the same lovely eye color and was slightly better-looking overall, and I just stared at her all night!”

    When I married, one of my bridesmaids ended up with shoes a size too small. Not crazy tight, but…tight. She didn’t try them on until the day before the wedding, and she called to ask if it would be OK for her to buy different shoes (we had paid for the original bridesmaid dresses and shoes) and wear them instead. I was so stressed about the next day that I nearly cried, and I implored her to tough out the original shoes because otherwise she wouldn’t quite match and that would be terrible!! She agreed to wear the tight shoes.

    Today, both she and I laugh that I thought anyone would care. (Of course, a few weeks later when I’d come to my senses again, I apologized!) I hope this bride is only having a temporary bridezilla moment brought on by the bridal-industrial complex 😉 and that she and her bridesmaids will be able to laugh about this someday!

    • Miss-E January 17, 2019, 8:43 am

      I got married in August so it was beastly hot. My bridesmaids and I agreed that satin would be way too heavy for the (very very short) outdoor ceremony. In addition, I told them to get whatever kind of dress they liked as long as it wasn’t satin because I figured satin would stand out in pictures since it is shiny.

      Weeks later my SIL proudly shows off the satin dress that she bought. I knew that she was aware of my no-satin rule, I had the text messages to prove it, but in the end I knew that nobody besides me would notice that one bridesmaid was wearing a different fabric and, ultimately, it wasn’t worth the drama it would cause. So I let it go and had an awesome day, even though one dress didn’t match!

  • dippy January 16, 2019, 10:42 am

    Eye color would not change complexion tones. This woman is delusional.

  • pennywit January 16, 2019, 10:43 am

    A truly considerate bride would purchase cosmetic eye surgery for all her bridesmaids to ensure they match.

    • ladyv21454 January 17, 2019, 9:26 am

      Dearest pennywit, we can always depend on you for the supremely snarky comment. And yes, that’s a compliment!

  • Miss R January 16, 2019, 11:29 am

    “There wasn’t a dry eye in the house…” or at least among the wedding party, as everyone tries to get used to new contacts.

  • Anonymous January 16, 2019, 11:38 am

    This has to be a troll. Of COURSE forcing your bridesmaids to match eye colours is over-the-top, and that dress is so ugly, even the model looks like she’s having trouble pretending to like it.

  • gramma dishes January 16, 2019, 12:30 pm

    Are you paying or are you expecting them to cough up the cash for this unexpected supplement to their wedding attire?
    So sure! Go right ahead and order those beautiful rich amber brown contacts for your bridesmaids. But then I hope you won’t be surprised when all of them suddenly realize they have some hideous unforeseen conflict with your wedding date and won’t be able to attend the wedding itself, much less be an attendant for you personally.

  • Catherine St Clair January 16, 2019, 12:35 pm

    It would be easier just to hire women of the right height, weight, skin tone, hair color, age, and eye color to match the dress you have chosen.

  • lkb January 16, 2019, 12:42 pm

    This has to be a troll — please, please tell me this is a troll!

    I guess I’m just not as detail-oriented as I should be: Some 30 years after the fact, I still don’t know the eye color of my bridesmaids — i.e., my sister and my two now-sisters-in-law. I didn’t know then and I don’t know now.

    • Kirsten January 16, 2019, 4:23 pm

      You don’t know the colour of your sister’s eyes?

    • Annie January 17, 2019, 8:11 am

      You don’t know the color of your bridesmaids’s eyes, including your own sister? How many bridesmaids did you have? I had four, and I have no problem remember their colors – green, green, dark brown and hazel.

      • bap January 18, 2019, 10:37 am

        Annie, I think perhaps you meant to say “green, green, RICH AMBER BROWN, and hazel”?

  • Nancy January 16, 2019, 12:46 pm

    I wish I had the money this bride must have if she’s seriously considering shelling out for color contacts to be worn once. SMH…

  • lakey January 16, 2019, 12:54 pm

    I can honestly say that I have never paid enough attention to a person’s eyes to notice if they clash with their clothes. I notice warm and cool tones, butno one looks that closely at the eyes. I too hope this is a troll. If it’s real, the prospective groom should run for the hills.

    “Rich amber brown” eyes? Spend less time gazing at yourself in the mirror.

  • Melissa January 16, 2019, 1:32 pm

    In the history of the world there has never been an outfit that clashed with anyone’s eyes. I know women who match their underwear to their outfit and are 100% put together at all times, and they don’t adjust their eye color to match either. If this is real, I think the bride doesn’t want anyone having blue eyes because they’ll seem “prettier” – as a brown eyed girl (do I need to come up with a nicer sounding name than “brown”? lol) I have always wished for blue eyes, and even wanted color contacts at one time for that reason, so I’m coming from that prospective, but of all the things that look nice to match, eye color and outfit color are not on that list. Also, ditto to what everyone else said about wearing contacts if you’re not used to them. Thanks for the reminder that my friends are so sane 🙂

    • CarlisleWeeps January 17, 2019, 11:07 am

      Hmm, if not her ‘rich amber brown’, how about ‘warm cocoa’, ‘deep chocolate’……..

  • Kristen January 16, 2019, 4:11 pm

    Definitely also hoping this is a troll.

    Not only can it be uncomfortable for people who don’t wear contacts to suddenly wear them, if the bride cheaps out and goes for some strange colored lenses made for Halloween costumes, it can cause a serious eye infection that can lead to blindness. I also seem to remember reading that colored contact lenses themselves are generally not recommended, as they’re more for cosmetic and may not be as kind on the eye.

  • Marozia January 16, 2019, 6:30 pm

    Crikey…that looks like a high-viz instead of chartreuse!!
    If the bride is prepared to pay for the colour contacts, it’s ok by me.

  • Kat January 16, 2019, 7:30 pm

    ….but blue DOES complement shades of yellow and green. Has she never seen an Easter-themed color scheme?

    I mean, if you’re gonna Bridezilla about this, at least know your color theory.

    • Pep January 17, 2019, 6:40 am

      That chartreuse dress would be lovely on someone with turquoise contact lenses.

  • Helen January 16, 2019, 10:15 pm

    This would just make me want to go out and get a set of those googly eyes.

  • Angie in NM January 16, 2019, 11:03 pm

    Yes! WAY over the top! That dress color is horrible for most people and I’d look jaundiced if I tried to wear it. I can NOT wear contacts, my doctor said with my chemical intolerance, to never even think about contacts. That I’m stuck with glasses.

    That is asking too much for people to change the eye color for a wedding. It seems that it takes a while for people to get used to wearing contacts and a prescription colored contact would be pricey. I doubt she plans on spending THAT much for contacts.

    I CAN believe that a bride would be asking this, I’ve heard worse.

  • Nina J. Hodgson January 16, 2019, 11:20 pm

    “I tell you, Agnes, it was such a lovely wedding. Beautiful bride. Handsome groom. Exquisite flowers. But then it was ruined. Just ruined. Those blue eyes just clashed and clashed with the dress color.”

    Said nobody ever.

    • Angela Allen January 17, 2019, 9:27 am

      That’s exactly what I was thinking! I don’t remember anyone ever making the case that a certain color clashed with someone’s eyes. Hair or coloring, maybe, but even then, I wouldn’t think that would be an issue in a wedding. But then, I eloped.

  • AJ January 17, 2019, 2:06 am

    She’s worrying about coloured contacts then she’s first got to convince them to wear that colour dress!

    But those dresses will temporarily blind anyone who looks at them for more than a few seconds, so one problem resolves the other.

    • Leigh January 17, 2019, 8:57 am

      We think a LOT alike. I can only surmise that perhaps she chose that color dress to keep anyone in attendance from looking at the bridesmaids for too long.

      I wonder if her attendants will have the same facial expression as the model. Even *she* doesn’t look happy in that dress.

    • Sarugani January 18, 2019, 3:42 am

      Maybe it‘s a French bride and that dress is a political statement to support the gilets jaunes?
      No amount of French (chartreuse?) is going to make that dress look good and anything other than neon. I wouldn‘t worry about eye color, the guests will be blinded by the dresses before they notice any possible clash with eye colors…

  • Rinme January 17, 2019, 3:54 am

    I feel uncomfortable making fun of this.

    Here you have a young woman, so obsessed about her “big day”, that she’s coordinating eye colors.

    I don’t see her as entitled or rude – she’s delusional and obsessed. A product of society that pumps the “perfect wedding” ideal into girls’ brains from early childhood.

  • staceyizme January 17, 2019, 5:08 am

    The whole wedding industry caters to an ever expanding conspicuous consumption that is appalling!
    Brides who post on social media about being disappointed that the wedding is over and who are still posting photos months and even years later…
    Brides who obsess over event details at a level of focus that is excessive…
    Humor about how groom’s are just supposed to “show up” to the wedding (but they have to be over-the-top about planning the proposal and splurging on a large ring…)
    All this focus on perfection is misplaced. Weddings are solemn, if also joyous. But they’re just the beginning of the marriage story.
    Dresses, shoes and accessories for bridesmaids have given way to matching colors of hair, makeup and tanning. Now let’s prevent the eye color from “clashing”. (No, let’s don’t.) It’s unbecoming to indulge in the hubris of dressing your attendants (or guests!) in order to guarantee a perfect “look”. And let’s be honest, unless you’re paying for the dresses, shoes, makeup and accessories, it’s a burden. Most people can dress themselves, given some guidance, and the perfect “matchy-matchy” bridesmaids and groomsmen aren’t essential to the success of the wedding ceremony.
    Why focus so much on the form of the costuming for the ceremony? It’s not a sustainable use of time, energy or money. A little self-limiting would be refreshing, in my view, and the happy couple/ their parents/ attendants would all have more money, less stress and more time.

    • Anonymous January 17, 2019, 3:55 pm

      If this was the storyline of a movie or sitcom, I could see one of the bridesmaids in coloured contacts having trouble seeing, and then bumping into the caterer and making him drop the wedding cake, or falling into a reflecting pool and taking a gaggle of people standing around the pool and chatting, along with her. You know, to drive home the message that trying for perfection down to the tiniest detail just causes all kinds of other problems.

      • staceyizme January 18, 2019, 8:33 am

        I like the mental picture! Add a ginormous white fluffy poodle with a chartreuse collar and “rich amber brown” ear bows…. why not?

  • Lindsey January 17, 2019, 5:27 am

    I don’t know why the bride is stressing, blue eyes will go beautifully with that colour of dress!

  • M January 17, 2019, 6:04 am

    Not afraid of being overshadowed? Of course not! How could anyone overshadow rich amber brown???

  • OP January 17, 2019, 11:28 am

    What I would say to this bride:
    Yes, it is very over-the-top and micro-manage-y. The odds that a guest will take notice of a bridesmaid’s eye-color, let alone notice that it “clashes” with the color of her dress, is infinitesimally small. Also, it is one thing to ask a bridesmaid to wear a certain dress or put their hair in a French twist. It is another thing to ask them to alter their body, even temporarily. The message this sends to them is that the appearance of their body is displeasing to your eye and not good enough to stand next to at your wedding. It also tells them that you view them as props to decorate your big day, not friends with whom you want to share something special. Bottom line: Stop treating your friends like window dressing or you won’t have any when the wedding is over.

  • Other Liz January 17, 2019, 11:43 am

    Actually Chartreuse and Blue go very well together.

  • Anonymous January 17, 2019, 12:30 pm

    I think this is a “safety trumps etiquette” situation. A lot of people believe (quite sensibly) that over-the-counter, coloured contact lenses, are unsafe to wear, and I agree. Some people can’t wear contacts, because they irritate their eyes, and if you do a simple Google search, you’ll see all kinds of articles about long-term vision damage, up to and including BLINDNESS, caused by coloured contact lenses. I used to volunteer with a Brownie troop where one of the girls was blind, and she was a very positive, sweet girl who made the best of her condition (for example, she ran cross-country, on a special team for blind people, where she was tethered to a “guide,” or a sighted runner of similar ability who’d keep her on course), AND the leader and the other girls did everything they could to accommodate her–taking her by the hand and leading her to the craft table, putting a bell in the balloon when they played balloon volleyball, et cetera.

    However, it was easy to tell from being around this girl, that being blind is no picnic. I overheard a snippet of a conversation between her mom and the Brown Owl before the Brownie camping trip, and Mom was explaining that Daughter still struggled with things like, finding the front and back of underwear, and when Daughter went to the bathroom, someone had to tell her what side the toilet paper was on, and the same with soap and shampoo in the shower, et cetera. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that Daughter was blind–she had a condition from birth that made her vision fade slowly, but I can’t imagine voluntarily using a product that’d put me at risk for having to live the rest of my life like that. For that matter, I can’t fathom why that product is still on the market, if it carries that risk.

    • Anonymous January 17, 2019, 12:58 pm

      I forgot to mention, even if the coloured contacts at the wedding didn’t cause blindness, they’d probably at least cause eye irritation and blurred vision in some of the bridesmaids, who’d then have to drive home (or back to their hotels) after the wedding.

  • Michelle January 17, 2019, 12:42 pm

    This reminds me of the scene in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy asks “Can you even dye my eyes to match my gown?” Who knew it would be prophetic!

  • Jane January 18, 2019, 5:54 am

    I follow a Facebook group where this was posted; the woman was 100% making a joke and had no intention of actually making her bridemaids wear coloured contacts. Not an etiquette issue at all, just poking fun at how bridezilla-usque some people can get.

  • Anonymous January 18, 2019, 9:31 am

    By the way, I just came up with a fun game for E-Hell. We already have Wedding Wednesday, and Feel-Good Friday, so how about…..Troll Tuesday? Jeanne would post a story that’s either real, but so over-the-top that it LOOKS like a troll post, or a plausible troll post that looks like it could be real, but isn’t, and then the rest of us would have to guess which one. It could really be any day of the week, but I picked Tuesday because people seem to like alliteration here.

    • ladyv21454 January 18, 2019, 9:54 am

      I LOVE this idea! Sometimes it’s really hard to tell the difference between an outrageous real story and a well-done troll.

  • R January 18, 2019, 1:18 pm

    Well, I can speak from experience that my my SIL dictated that we all have fake eyelashes because “She was paying a lot for the wedding photos and we all had to look stunning in them”… It was ridiculous and that was just the beginning….

  • rindlrad January 18, 2019, 7:50 pm

    Sorry, I know I’m late to the party here. Sometimes work is so inconvenient.

    So, all the ‘Maids will be in the same dress, with the same eye color, presumably with the same shoes, nails, hair style (is the bride forcing them to color their hair, also?), etc. Is anyone else getting a Stepford Wives vibe here? Or the models in that Robert Palmer video from the 80s (the one where they all wore the same little black dress, big red lips, had their hair slicked back, and LOOKED EXACTLY THE SAME)!!!!!!! Creepy.

    Anyway, I love my dark green eyes. I would be really hurt if a “friend” asked me to cover them up for any reason. Wouldn’t do it. Just guessing here – obviously, I don’t know the bride – but, I would not be surprised if one of her ‘Maids has amazing eyes.

  • Rhoda January 19, 2019, 1:36 pm

    Is there an eye colour that goes with that colour? I don’t think “rich amber brown” would be any better.

  • Kitty January 20, 2019, 6:17 pm

    I can’t even tell what the model’s eyecolor is, what makes this person think anyone at the wedding will bother to look if the bridesmaids’ eyes match? If they are close enough to see the intricacies of the bridesmaids’ eyecolor and potential crow’s feet, they are too dang close.

  • BagLady January 21, 2019, 11:02 pm

    I have blue eyes. They are also on the large side. When I wear a color (usually teal) that makes them pop, I get comments. “WHOA! You have blue eyes!” Uh, yes, had ’em for 60 years now; you’re just getting around to noticing? (No, I don’t actually say this out loud.) That said, I *might* notice other people’s eye color if it is particularly unusual or they are wearing a color that makes it pop. It would never occur to me to notice that they were wearing a color of clothing that did or didn’t “go” with their eyes.

    I’ve read enough stories on the old Ehell forum to understand that there are brides who get their knickers in a twist about how their bridesmaids Must Look Perfect so as not to Ruin the Pictures. Matching dresses, OK, as long as it isn’t a financial hardship for any of them. But anything beyond that is unreasonable.

    You want your wedding photos to look like a magazine spread? Fine. Hire magazine models to be your bridesmaids. I would rather have my nearest and dearest standing up for me, regardless of whether they look like models or can all pull off the same dress style, hairdo or, heaven forbid, eye color.

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