I’ve come across an unusual situation, I am Bridesmaid to a long time friend of mine this year (and very happy to be one too!). She’s a wonderful friend and I’m so very very happy she’s getting married. She has asked us to pick our dresses from a selection of 3 (different styles of the same dress). These dresses are a little pricey and start at $500 dollars for the basic, the style I’ve chosen is an extra $150 but much more flattering. Bride is paying for the basic cost but has said we pay for the tailoring & the extra for a different style (around $250 total). I am happy to pay this as I actually really like my dress and would be able to wear it again, and not just to a wedding.
Here’s the catch! Bride has now said she intends to sell our dresses after the wedding, meaning we have to give them back so she can sell & keep the profit. I have clarified this with her and she fully intends to keep any money made (no reimbursement to us) and expects to get about $250 per dress. I’m a little gobsmacked, and really not sure I’m happy with this? Is this normal? Am I being a snowflake or is this an etiquette breach on her part?
For the record, at my wedding I bought all the dresses, paid tailoring and hair & makeup. I also paid for cottages for my bridal party (and partners) for the night of the wedding so they wouldn’t incur any hotel costs. Should I suck it up? Would it be wrong to offer to pay $200 for the dress, it feels like I’m throwing away the money I put in if it’s just sold. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Think of the situation as a business deal. The bride invested $500 into the base cost of the dress and you invested $150 plus the cost of tailoring in order to achieve the final product that meets with the bride’s approval. You and the bride are mutual partners/investors. If the bride sells the dresses, she’s not reaping a profit but rather being reimbursed for the cost of the dresses. However, she is not the sole owner of each dress. You own part of the dress you paid into. It is not fair for her to recoup part of her expenses while you are denied any part of that.
The bride should split the money earned …perhaps keeping 2/3rd and giving you 1/3 of the sale revenues. Or you offer the buy the dress from her.