This is more of an inquiry as to what a proper, polite response would be in this scenario.My husband and I have elected not to find out the sex of our baby as we wish for it to be a surprise. Our families respect that so no drama there.
The issue stems from the fact that certain family members are rather pushy about knowing what our preferred “boy name” and “girl name” are. Hubby and I have been kicking around name ideas for both sexes among ourselves but nothing has been selected and we feel our discussions on the subject are a private matter. Besides, just because we select a name doesn’t mean it will “suit” the baby once he/she arrives.
My question is this: What is a polite way to deflect/put a stop to the constant inquires about our private discussions?
If it was something that happened once or twice it wouldn’t be that big of a deal but its getting to the point where we don’t want to attend any family event because its near constant nagging. It’s hubby and I’s opinion that no one is entitled to that information. We have so far been able to deflect the question(s) but are looking for a firm response so we can finally put an end to this.
Any help is greatly appreciated! 0117-19
“The baby hasn’t told us his/her name yet. Once introduced, I’m sure we’ll be informed of that information.”
My good friend was in the same situation and she ended up making a huge joke of it. Whenever someone asked what the name was going to be she would give outlandish wild responses but in a very matter of the fact way. “We have decided we like T-Rex best for a girl, not sure what we will do if it is a boy!” Some people understood the joke and others didn’t.
When I was pregnant, I got this question a lot, both before and after we discovered the gender. I answered, “Zelda Pinwheel” no matter whether people were asking about our boy names or girl names.
I did the Same Thing! “I’m thinking Racecar Last name…”
I know others may disagree, but give “fake names” that you have no intention of using. My husband and I didn’t find out with any of our children (3), but my SIL and brother did with theirs and had the names picked and kept using them during the entire pregnancy once they found out. So each time we got together it was “what names are you thinking of….?” So, even though my husband and I had a few names we considered, with my brother and SIL both being teachers, we knew any name we chose would be met with some comment…..so we just used names we ruled out. Once the babies arrived and names were given, they knew then what the name was.
It is hard when you have to deal with people who just don’t give up – it is grating on your nerves and tiring to have to keep “defending” you point of not wanting to say. So, pick a few names you have no intention of using and just say those. SOMEONE will ALWAYS have something to say about a name you choose…..so why bother telling them prior!
Best of luck to you on your pregnancy and delivery, your world will change in ways you could have never imagined! All good things! 🙂
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am dying to know what the quote “with my brother and SIL both being teachers, we knew any name we chose would be met with some comment” means. What is it about teachers and making comments? Just curious 🙂
Lots of teachers in my family. As a result names are indeed a loaded topic. There will always be at least one person in the room that had a student with virtually any name you can imagine that was awful. Yes there will be some that had lovely students. But it’s always the awful ones you remember/can’t forget. There’s just something about little Kevin that set the class on fire thats easier to remember than Johnny who was always so polite and never forgot an assignment.
Teachers meet a lot of kids. And often associate behaviours with particular names. My parents, a teacher and a school nurse, were trying to come up with names for my brother and I and often, at least one of them would veto a name because there was a kid with that name that was a handful.
And I quote, “don’t use that name, I had a kid in my class who…”. You tend to get a litany of names ruined by bad experiences with kids. I get it, as a social worker, I have a few ruined names, but that should only affect beings I get to name. It sounds like the in laws in this case have no problem being pushy and feeling like they have a say, so it could get ugly.
I think probably because teachers know so many kid names, that if you say ‘oh, we’re naming him Trevor’, they will say ‘oh, I had a Trevor in my class once. He was a holy terror.’ And so forth.
The writer here of the first comment above…..yes, both of them would have something to say along the lines of “oh my god you can’t name your kid that, I had a kid in class and he/she was just awful, they were this or that.” So it came to the point we just used all the names we never would name our child(ren) – and we got to hear stories about all the kids they had with that name that were awful. Never once was there a “oh, yes, that is a great name I had a kid named that and they were great….” But funny when they were considering names, you could never pass any kind of comment……..
It’s a “thing” that teacher’s kids tend to have unusual names because there’s always a kid you associate any given name with. There are names that I would never use because of unpleasant associations. I will add that there are also names that immediately recall lovely students to me as well.
The commenting on other people’s choices, though? That’s just bad manners and unfortunately there are rude people in every profession.
My mother is a teacher, “Don’t name him THAT! He’ll be teased mercilessly!”
We didn’t find out the gender and we were honest. “Sorry, we aren’t sharing our name choices. The name and gender are going to be a surprise!”
Plus our girl’s name was also a combination of our Moms’ names and we wanted that to be a surprise to them. So we weren’t sharing names at all. We did have a girl and did get to use that name. It was awesome to be able to share the name then.
My daughter and son-in-law chose not to know the sex of their babies or let anyone know the names they were thinking about. Their answer on the names was “We haven’t decided yet, but we’ll let you know once the baby is born.” Rinse and repeat, over and over. If asked what names they were thinking of, they said they were thinking of several, and didn’t have any real preference yet. They would not say anything else. After the first baby, most of that inquiry stopped, as people realized they weren’t going to find out until the baby was born, and truthfully, my daughter and her husband didn’t decide for sure until the moment of birth.
Moment of birth? My parents didn’t name me for 2-3 days, and then only because the nurse said I couldn’t leave the hospital until they did.
THAT is a brilliant response! A simple “we haven’t decided yet” would hopefully work, too. I just wonder why so many people think this information is any of their business. And I’m surprised the couple isn’t getting grief about NOT wanting to know the baby’s gender. After all, how can you have a gender reveal party if you don’t want to know the gender? (sarcasm)
And, of course, without telling them the gender of the baby, how will they *ever* know if they are supposed to buy you blue or pink items? They’ll be forced to use the ‘gender neutral’ colors of yellow, green, and gray! *sarcasm*
In the Deep South, where football rules, you get baby items in the colors of the parents’ alma maters. 😉
Essie: regardless of the gender, too!
I told my grandma that the nursery would be white, and she was livid, “I Am NOT Making A White Blanket!” Hahaha
Just say that you haven’t decided yet. Rimse and repeat.
You don’t need to make a show of secrecy, as that will only spur people on. “Oh, we have no clue yet, we can’t decide! Which names do you like?”
Trust me, not revealing any names is smart.
My husband and I did the same thing. We just told people we hadn’t decided and that was that. On the rare occasion when someone pushed to know what our top choices were at the moment we would throw out something silly like Sequelae or Avocado Toast (we’re millennials) and make it a joke.
“If it’s a boy, we’re going to name him Voldemort. If it’s a girl, we will name her Cruela.”
Soylent Blue for a boy; Soylent Pink for a girl.
What Admin and JD said. Repeat over and over. Eventually, they’ll stop asking, and the baby will be born, and you’ll announce the baby’s name.
Also, if you refer to your coming child as “our heir,” “the Chosen One,” “the Prophesied Child,” “The One Who Stands Athwart Light and Dark,” or “our spawn,” people will ask fewer questions about the name.
I seriously can’t understand why this information is so sacred that you can’t just say what you were thinking of. Your choice though.
“Sacred”? Not necessarily. We didn’t find out the sex of our first child (a boy) and we wouldn’t have with our second one (a girl) but I had to have an amniocentesis so we went ahead and found out. But we didn’t tell anyone the names we’d picked out or the names we’d been thinking about because we just didn’t feel like it. Maybe OP feels the same way. Also, we didn’t make a final decision on names until they were born. We kept it all to ourselves because some friends of ours didn’t, and they got to hear everyone’s opinion: “Why would you name your baby THAT?” or “I don’t really like that name,” or “I was going to use that name so you can’t.” Why would OP want to put up with that?
Wild Irish Rose, you bring up a good point – the OP and husband might not want to deal with other people’s criticism of their proposed names. This is one of those situations where people need to keep their opinions to themselves. I’ve had occasions where I thought someone’s choice of baby name was pretty horrific – but I zipped my lip, because it’s THEIR baby and therefore THEIR choice. (Although thankfully, I like the names my son and DIL and considering for future children!)
You hit the nail on the head, Wild Irish Rose. People give their unsolicited opinion, or say they are going to use that name or “steal” a unique name. I think we had a post a year or so ago about how you can’t “own” or “steal” a name but people feel that way and it can ruin a relationships.
Wild Irish Rose is spot on! We don’t have children, but we do not want to share that information because we don’t know exactly. I also don’t want to hear opinions from other people–it isn’t their business and people don’t look at a new born and say ‘EW, Brantsonly! What the heck?” They keep it to themselves. Some cultures don’t name babies until they arrive and that is the norm.
What? You don’t have kids, but you don’t want to share the information about what your potential children that you don’t have might be named?
Good for you, I guess.
How about making up names to tell everybody – say John for a boy or Mary for girl or something completely outlandish – say in all seriousness. Then go about naming the child whatever you really want. Discussion is over. If you say John and Mary nobody is going to have much of an opinion on those names.
Why? Because it isn’t anyone’s business.
Wild Irish Rose summed it up nicely, I think. I can imagine that if certain family members are so pushy and persistent to know the names, they will be just as persistent about giving their opinions about said names, for better or worse. I know that if I ever have kids, I don’t know that I would keep from finding out the sex beforehand, but I would certainly keep any potential names under wraps until the birth. It’s much harder for someone to give a negative comment about a name when the baby is right there in front of them and it’s final.
I’m all about surprises. Sometimes with planned c-sections, everyone knows the gender, name, date of birth. The only news is that everyone is healthy. Personally I like the surprise and that’s why we didn’t find out the gender or reveal the names choices beforehand. Plus it does open you up to unsolicited criticism.
But everyone is different and when it’s their baby, they can decided how they want to handle those things.
Not that it’s “sacred” but people seem to feel that it’s okay to make negative comments. Our DS and DDIL talked about the names they had chosen while she was pregnant, but got such negative pushback that they dropped those names and chose others that they didn’t reveal until DGD was born. It seems as if people don’t make as many negative comments when the baby is born and the name is announced.
People that can’t tespect your boundary when you say you’re not discussing potential names are unlikely to not contribute their (unwanted) opinions on the baby’s name.
“Respect,” not tespect. Typing too fast!
I get what your saying, the OP refers to their ‘private conversations’ as if it’s information that won’t be shared at some point. Constant questions about couples trying to have a baby get into private territory; how much sex are you having, is there a medical issue, might you be infertile. But asking about baby names from people who you informed you are pregnant to is understandable. It’s like asking what are the nursery colors. I understand it’s annoying to always answer the same question from every family member, but as long as people respect your answer at face value, there’s no need to be snarky or defensive about your choice not to reveal.
So you missed this part of the OP’s post?
“If it was something that happened once or twice it wouldn’t be that big of a deal but its getting to the point where we don’t want to attend any family event because its near constant nagging.”
I took that to mean that each family member did this, adding up to more than once or twice. Getting asked the same question by mom, dad, mil, fil, aunt 1, uncle 1, aunt 2, cousin 1, sister 1 and on and on would be annoying, but just normal questions for an expecting family. If it’s just aunt 1 over and over again asking, then she needs to be shut down.
Also the tone of comment is very condescending, why is that necessary on an etiquette site?
Yes, I don’t quite understand the issue over this either. I mean sure, some people may try to debate you but believe me, if they think you have picked a ‘bad’ name they’re not going to hold back on that opinion just because the baby has been born and registered with it! (Yes, FIL, I’m looking at you).
I’m in agreement with Wild Irish Rose. The comments about what people think of your chosen name is tiresome. My in-laws were non-stop when my brother-in-law and his wife revealed the name of their child. (It was not my cup of tea, but I would never tell them that.) For the remaining 6 months of my sister-in-law’s pregnancy, they had to hear name suggestions from my MIL non-stop: “Don’t you think X better than [chosen name]?”, “Wouldn’t you want to name baby after [deceased relative]?” I told my husband that we were absolutely not listening to that for months on end for our child.
I once went to church with a couple who announced the sex of their baby (a girl), but didn’t want to share the name because apparently, they’d gotten a lot of flack for their oldest child’s chosen name (no idea why. Their son’s name was a perfectly lovely name.) Anyway, they simply responded with – “We’ve decided not to share that until the baby is born.” Wash, rinse, repeat.
or “Soon all will be revealed!”
or “I have heard that is better not to talk about names ahead of time lest someone give a comment on your favorite name.”
Moon Unit or Tweasel. That ought to shut them up.
I believe we should tell these people the truth. If you have not decided, you have not decided. To those who won’t believe the truth, even after you have made your best effort to convince them, I lie. I would make up a list of names that can be used for either gender: Jordan, Sidney/Sydney, Leslie, Dickie, et al. If that doesn’t work, try names from literature. A Kipling fan might say Akela for a boy and Raksha for a girl. Let them look it up. When the child arrives, announce the name you have chosen. You can always say you liked it better. Whatever you do, rude people will probably continue to badger you about your choice.
My husband and I knew the sex of our baby, but also wanted to avoid the unwanted opinions and judgement of our name choices. When asked “what’s the baby’s name?” we would reply “Mr Baby! We haven’t narrowed it down yet and feel like we need to meet him first to decide!” If course we had a name picked out all along, we just didn’t want the conversation.
I’m snarky enough I’d tell them there are a couple in the running, Eggbert and Oglethorpe, or something just as silly. It’s really no one’s business whether parents choose to tell people either the sex or names they’ve chosen. But some people think its their god given right to know what it is.
I always said Igor Oglethorpe because I hate it when there are three Michaels in the same classroom. You won’t get more than one Igor Oglethorpe.
My husband and I chose to keep our name choices under wraps for several reasons. We made that choice clear and still got pushed, so we chose not to engaged. After making it clear that we were not sharing names until the little bundle had arrived, we then chose an obviously fake name, and that was the only response we ever gave, with total seriousness. It was always DaRobert. “But what if it’s a girl?” DaRobert. Then moved on. It was clear that our wishes were not going to be respected no matter how many calm and courteous explanations we provided. So pure deflection. Sends the point that you’re done talking about, and that’s not going to change.
We had ridiculous in-utero pet names for both of our kids because we didn’t know their genders. When people started getting nosy, we (very seriously) said: “We’ve been calling the baby ‘ridiculous pet-name’ for so long that we’ve really come to love it. So if the baby’s a boy, it’ll be ‘pet name’ Amadeus, and if it’s a girl, it’ll be ‘pet name’ Clothilde.”
That stopped the conversation every.single.time. Also, it was pretty funny watching people control their reactions at the names of “Amadeus” and “Clothilde”.
Our firstborn was nicknamed “Kumquat” while in utero. Second kid had a name all through the pregnancy but we changed it after the birth.
Mine was “Biscuit” because my top boy name choice was “Tristan” and my sister misheard me and thought I said “Triscuit”. That misunderstanding threw my husband off the name completely and we had to choose a different boy name so I totally get why someone wouldn’t want to share their baby name choices.
I, *as a joke*, suggested Cletus the Fetus as an in utero nickname for my sister. The sister who I thought would be horrified and then select something like “peanut” or “jellybean.” (The other sister I was fairly certain would take me seriously and run with it which is why I never made any such suggestion to her.)
Apparently, I misjudged that sister. My poor niece was “Cletus the Fetus” until birth. There were entire songs written. (Cletus, Cletus the fetus, when will you come out and meet us…) (The song writers were 5 and 6 years old.)
A co-worker of mine got very tired of being pregnant and then she went way over her due date as her calculations were off. She and her husband had gotten into the habit of calling their happy event, “Roger the Lodger”. When he was born, they were so used to the name Roger, that they used it.
We did too. Jr was “big bird” and/or “wiggles” before she was born.
I think Amadeus is an awesome name. But then I’m the one who tried to sell my sister on Wolfgang when she was pregnant with my nephew. LOL Like the OP, she and her husband didn’t tell anyone the names they had picked for their children, and I understood why. I get to name my pets, and that’s good enough for me.
My daughter was nicknamed “Shangobunny” in utero.
“We’ll get back to you…”, “haven’t decided…” or “I don’t want to talk about it…”- you won’t be able to prevent people from asking, but you can use any basic deflection. For repeat offenders, after one or two instances of deflection, I think you can go straight to ignoring the question and moving on to another topic without responding, even if some weeks or months have elapsed. You’re not obligated to entertain a question you’ve declined to answer just because the same person asks you again.
Urgh I hated this line of questioning when I was pregnant. It’s so rude, especially from complete strangers. There are so many reasons not to disclose a baby name prior to the birth; ultrasound gendering isn’t failsafe, people “stealing” your name, superstition, ppl serving up unwarranted opinions, the list goes on.
I’m still weirded out now when actual strangers want to know my baby’s name; what difference does it make to them? I know they are probably being polite but it kind of feels like a violation of my child’s privacy. They aren’t also asking my name, so why do they need to know hers?
I think it is just a polite and fun thing to talk about. There’s a lot of downside to pregnancy, like sickness, discomfort, and preparing for all the ways life/work/finances/etc will be different. Choosing a name is a much happier thing for a lot of us, and we spend a lot of time thinking about it.
When a stranger making small talk asks about that, it may just be a way of focusing on a lighter moment of pregnancy, and encouraging them to indulge in a little bit of happy anticipation. 🙂
There’s definitely nothing wrong with saying “we’ve decided to keep it a secret” and that should be respected. The polite asker will move on to a different subject. The polite expectant parent will not assume the worst about an innocent question.
When I was pregnant, I liked when people wanted to hear about names. I didn’t hesitate to share what we were considering, and to hear people give their preferences– everyone knowing fully that their opinion didn’t obligate me to anything! I got very little criticism, even though some of the names I considered were unusual. It boggles my mind that some people encounter so much trouble that they decide to go super-secret as a necessary defense! I guess I’m surrounded by pretty diplomatic people.
Maybe the fact that I said “we’re thinking either Daniel, Eagle, or Kai” gave people the opportunity to focus on one they liked best, rather than one they didn’t like. Maybe turning the question around to them, with “oh, we don’t know what we like yet, what names do you like?” would be a good way to steer the conversation to something more comfortable?
I think the admin hit the nail on the head. If you say you’ve decided but are keeping it a secret, that will just spur them on. If you say you won’t know until the baby is born, there isn’t really a way to argue with that. Just say the same thing, verbatim, every single time the question is asked.
I think it’s much harder for people to voice their opinion about a name once the baby is born and the name is on the certificate. When names are being kicked around during pregnancy people feel they can voice their opinions loudly because the name is just an idea and they can persuade the parents.
If I was ever pregnant I also would not announce gender or name until the baby is out and the ink is dry on the birth certificate. It’s hard enough dealing with everyone’s opinions about child rearing, you don’t need the extra stress of name drama.
Why are you pussyfooting around rude people? Here’s what you say:
“Stop.” With your hand held up. “Stop. We haven’t decided and we’re not going to discuss it with anyone else. So, PLEASE stop asking.”
-Dawn
This.
It is not impolite at all to be direct, especially if someone is being especially pushy. Some people can’t be gently steered in a different direction.
Absolutely agree. Almost wish there was an upvote system for comments.
As PJ says, it’s not impolite to be direct or blunt. And some people really will not understand, *unless* you are blunt and direct with your words.
When I was expecting my first and I was asked I said “I’m not sure yet. Watch out for the birth announcement.”
After my daughter was born, hoo boy! The name criticism came thick and fast.
They criticized it *after* your daughter was born and already named?! Wow.
Yes, many people were saying how terribly old fashioned it is and that she would never fit in with her peers because of it.
DD is now 18 and her friends love her name.
My own MOTHER still complains about my son’s name and offers up alternatives.
He’s 16 months old.
I had twins, and so we weren’t able to see the sex of the babies and didn’t know what they were until they were born. And to add to that, my partner has terrible taste in names! I’m also one of those people who doesn’t get the idea of choosing a name before a child is born. What if they don’t suit it? So we had a rather long ‘short list’ for each gender. And when we were asked about names I would reply “eh, we’re still arguing over them” because otherwise I’d end up in an hour long conversation, listening to other people’s ideas of ‘nice’ names. But to be honest, it’s a pretty innocuous question. Not worth getting upset about.
WOW! The admin must have been channeling Miss Manners with that response!
The correct answer to this question is “Ambrosius Lusitania Pendragon, no matter the gender.”
We didn’t pick our daughter’s name until 10 hrs before she was born. I just told everyone that asked her name, “We don’t know yet.” It was the truth. We hadn’t decided. If they pushed it, I said, Weapon X or Thor Sledgehammer. That usually ended the conversation.
People ask (press), not out of genuine interest, but so they can give their unsolicited advice (“hate that name”) and present their own “much better” suggestions.
Have one friend who is telling nosey parkers that they are waiting to see the last season of Game of Thrones before picking a name from the characters. Note: They absolutely aren’t picking a name from one of the characters.
“Haven’t decided yet. What names do you like?”. Get them talking about their favourite names, nod politely, change subject ASAP.
As a new mother – when you do reveal the name, get ready for “Oh, Ashley, that’s lovely!” or “Oh, that’s…..unusual” unless your kid’s name is something like mine 😀
My husband and I were both employed by a Christian ministry when we were pregnant with our first. A lot of people assumed we would pick a super spiritual name. So, choosing some of the most random names in the Bible, I told everyone that if the baby was a boy he would be Mahershalalhasbaz Mephibosheth and a girl would be Milcah Gomer. With a straight face. And giggled later at the people who thought we were serious.
Our last child was referred to as “Hezekiah Mephibosheth” while in utero. We still use it to name all unborn babies in the family.
When one of my friends was pregnant, she didn’t find out the sex of the baby; not because she didn’t want to, but because the ultrasound was unclear, so I took to referring to her then-unborn child as “Future Lastname.” I think it was a pretty elegant solution for the child’s time in utero, and in the end, my friend gave birth to a healthy baby boy who’s now five years old and in kindergarten.
I actually knew a Mahershalalhashbaz! (called Shelly for short). I wasn’t a close enough friend to ask why her parents chose that name, but I would love to know.
With my first everyone wanted to know what I’d picked but I was honest. I said I had a few names and was going to wait till after they were born to see what suited them. I wasn’t willing to share anything as nothing was final. If pressed I would just say something clearly made up. That usually shut it down cause they either belived I was naming my kid Boink and we’re stunned into silence, or they realized they went to far and dropped things.
With my second I didn’t pick a name till the very last second and just got lucky it worked for him. When people asked I was again honest. I said I was struggling greatly to come up with something and it was a source of incredible stress so I didn’t want to be hassled. That alone made people just stop.
Maybe I’ve just been lucky in that very few really pressed to know what I was thinking on. But for the few that don’t back down, why cave to their demands to know? I don’t tolerate my six year old asking me the same question repeatedly. So I’m not willing to entertain adults acting doing it.
What’s wrong with “We haven’t decided on names yet” ?
Sometimes people don’t just want to offer their unwanted opinions, they want to be the first to tell other people the news and have a chance to gossip about it behind your back. I completely understand wanting to keep it all private. There is no one single universally-loved name in the world, so somebody will always feel the need to change your mind.
That being said, we didn’t keep our daughter’s name a secret. However, we had chosen it very carefully, so we went into the battle armed with about a dozen different reasons it was perfect for us. As soon as you start listing things like “It honours two different family members, it has dozens of good nicknames and we like them all, the meaning is lovely, it isn’t overly popular but everybody has heard of it, there are thousands of years worth of badass namesakes, it’s both feminine and strong at the same time, it goes well with our surname…” etc. people either come around or they realize it’s not worth the fight.
Complete strangers asked me questions about the name and sex of my child when I was pregnant. I tried to shut them down—“Have you picked out a name yet?” “Yes.”—but they were relentless.
We didn’t tell anyone our kids’ chosen names; fortunately our families and friends were respectful. Doesn’t hurt wife and I are known to be steadfast, so there was no point insisting.
Our first child’s in utero name was Ziggy (short for zygote). Well, as it came to be the speakers in the delivery room was cranking Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust during labour. As auspicious as that was, we kept her chosen name but it lead to a few chuckles during a very stressful time!
You quite honestly tell them that you are not going to discuss this matter. You just aren’t, especially if they keep inquiring because, hey, unless they have a suggestion, they have no business asking or knowing. And if they want to suggest something, thank them for the suggestion, and then done. Just pretend to be deaf as long as they keep the topic of ‘what names are you thinking about?’ is in the room. You have told them your stance, and that’s it.
I always find it interesting as to who will tell baby’s gender, who tells names, who calls the unborn baby by its real name, who calls the unborn baby a fake name etc etc etc. I once met a lady who called her unborn baby a very common, fine name but then named her baby something else, but actually called him an entirely different name. ( i.e. She called her unborn baby Bob, but at birth named him Tom, but called him Bill)
I was so confused! Lol
I do think being blunt or direct can be impolite.
Asking a simple question like ” have you picked names” and someone responding by holding up their hand and saying “stop” IS in fact rude and impolite.
This story came just in time. A colleague and his wife just had a new baby and they weren’t sharing the name beforehand. A couple of people thought that was a little odd. I shared this story and mentioned that many commenters preferred not to share because people will make negative comments about the name…then those of us with children remembered our own experience with name-shaming (I had wanted to name my daughter Siobhan but was ridiculed by stepmom) and saw this situation in a new light.
38 years ago, we didn’t know the baby’s sex ahead of time.
When questioned on names, we decided to answer,
“The baby will be the first to hear his/her own name.”
Never had anyone press us after that answer.
aside: My great-uncle married the sweetest woman- Auntie Clothilde (gave me a warm feeling seeing her name. 🙂 )
We just said we haven’t decided.
I feel like it’s rude to be all super excited about a new baby and then getting irritated about being asked basic questions.
There really isn’t a need to make it a big deal.
When my last son was born we had chosen 2 names.,,but told no one.
And my stepdad was so pleased when he found out my son’s middle name was given to honor him.