Recently I was informed that one of my younger cousins was getting married. I automatically asked when etc and was told, “Oh, you won’t be invited. Only immediate family is going.”
My reply was, “I wasn’t expecting an invitation, I am not close to Cousin X. I just wanted to know when to send a card.” I have now been labeled as rude in the family. Was I? 0806-18
No, you were not rude. If you asked, “Where is the wedding?”, that could look like you were scheming to crash it but responding to news of an engagement with the question, “When?” , shouldn’t be construed to mean you are angling for an invitation. Sometimes give-and-take banter is just normal conversation.
P.S. It’s appropriate to send a congratulatory card upon hearing of the engagement. No need to wait until the wedding date is imminent.