My Dad adopted my older sister when she was 2 years old. My mom always used this as a way to manipulate my sister into favoring her over my Dad during and after their divorce. She would say horrible things like, “He’s not even your real Daddy, I’m the only real parent you have.” These details are important, I promise. So, needless to say, my sister grew up with some Daddy abandonment issues no matter how hard my Dad tried. Over time, my sister wanted little to do with him and he gave up trying. She would call him every now and then to ask for money or help, which my Dad always gave and he would never receive a thank you.
When the time came for my sister to get married, she sent my Dad (who lives on the opposite side of the country) an invitation one week before the wedding. Because of the short notice and his lack of funds for a last minute flight across the country and hotel, he was unable to attend. He called her and explained all of this to her. Fortunately, my sister had almost all of my Mom’s side of the family at her wedding. My Mom’s sister, brother and a few cousins. It was a lovely wedding and I was my sisters MOH.
Then comes my turn to get married! I have a great relationship with my Dad and we both put equal effort into the relationship. My Dad was the first to hear I was engaged and I immediately asked my Dad to walk me down the aisle. Well, when my Mom’s side of the family found out my Dad was coming to my wedding when he didn’t go to my sisters wedding, they were very angry. So, they decided to boycott my wedding to punish my Dad. Doesn’t make a lot of sense, does it? Boycott my wedding to punish my Dad…when he had zero notice about the wedding and no relationship with my sister…? They also didn’t RSVP yes or no. When I would call my mom to ask about them, she would say, “Oh, I’m sure their coming! They’re just bad about RSVP’ing!” She knew the whole time they weren’t coming. She was mad at me because I was having my Dad walk me down the aisle when she wanted to walk me down. So, she fed the fire on her side of the family.
I was ok with it, though. While I was hurt at first, I realized I didn’t want people like that at mine and my husband’s special day. And it was a very special day! 0708-09