Eyes Ahead and Mouth Zipped Shut

by admin on October 13, 2009

This isn’t the worst thing my former boss ever did, but it probably was the most inappropriate.
My former boss, I’ll call him Tom, was my mentor.  I had worked for him for nine years and never had another boss.  Consequently, we became friends and were comfortable talking to each other about things outside of work.

He was a little too candid when he told me that several years ago, he decided that he had such a problem staring at women’s chests, he actually went to a hypnotist to stop.  He then proceeded to tell me that the only time he had a problem was around me.

I didn’t care at the time.  I didn’t feel harassed or anything. What’s sad is, since I’d never had another boss, I didn’t really realize exactly HOW inappropriate it was until much later and I regret not telling him off at the time!   0708-09

Eeeewwww!  That’s the kind of thing you slap a guy for saying and then hightail it to the Personnel Department to file a complaint.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Alexis October 13, 2009 at 1:44 pm

There is a myth, perpetuated by _____ (epithet of your choice), that as long as you admit that objectionable language is wrong, then it is somehow acceptable, because you ‘know better’ and it’s ‘just a joke’. I hear this kind of rationalizing used to justify racism and misogyny, mostly by so-called ‘progressives’. No people, it is breathtakingly rude and stunningly ignorant. There ARE no excuses for such behavior or language. None.

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Ticia October 13, 2009 at 10:30 pm

Ewwwwwww is right. Ewwww ewww ewww.

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Elizabeth April 16, 2010 at 12:25 am

I have to agree with Alexis. I’m used to dirty jokes and the occasional “ripping” from friends, but for me that always occurs in a context in which all members are aware that the comments are not to be taken seriously, and if feelings are actually hurt then apologies are prompt (maybe that makes us bad people, I’m not sure). However, as nonchalant as I tend to be around my friends, I feel that even in jest, such comments are NOT appropriate in a superior–subordinate relationship, especially not if there is any expectation of professionalism. In partial defense of Tom, he may have just assumed that since the OP didn’t seem put off bythe comments, that they were not off-color (it’s always nice to give the benefit of doubt), but it’s still not a proper way to treat somebody who is subordinate to you and thus your responsibility. I do agree with Ticia: *cringe*

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