First of all, I want to specify that destination weddings are not necessarily rude or tacky – only this one was.
My husband’s nephew had a destination wedding that was thrust on us at the last minute. The couple “had” to get married, and she wanted the ceremony to occur before she began showing. We initially declined because we had already scheduled a trip abroad for that year, and between work obligations and finances, could not manage both. Well…his family went crazy on us, because this was the first grandkid in that generation to get married, etc etc. After getting crying calls from my MIL & SIL, my husband finally relented, and we ended up spending thousands of dollars on airfare, hotel rooms and food for both of us, all our kids, my in-laws (nephew’s grandparents) and several other assorted family members who couldn’t afford to attend on their own.
I need to point out that with the exception of my husband, most everybody on his family’s side is relatively impoverished. Some are on government assistance of some sort, and others are just barely hanging on. Several of the adults had never even been on an airplane before. So for the happy couple to pressure everyone to attend their destination wedding was beyond inconsiderate – it was just plain rude and selfish.
On top of that, they had a cash bar (even for nonalcoholic drinks!), a dollar dance, and a wishing well. (After having us travel all that way, they weren’t even willing to buy us a drink!) And when we checked into the hotel, we were given a letter from the happy couple soliciting sponsorship for their wedding. Yes…..if we sponsored them for a certain amount, we would have a dance announced in our honor. Good grief – who thinks up those things!! My husband was so irritated by this that he decided our paying for everyone’s attendance was more than enough of a wedding gift . So they didn’t receive the gift from us that they had anticipated – yes, their wedding invitation specifically requested cash in lieu of “boxed gifts”.
A few weeks after the wedding, the happy couple even had the nerve to call us and ask what happened to our wedding gift. They were worried the envelope may have gotten lost in the mail! I’m not sure exactly what my husband said to them – but he did straighten them out. Oh, and a year later, they were divorced. I can’t wait until nephew’s next wedding disaster. 0626-09