Then Why Did You Come?

by admin on October 21, 2009

I was a BM in the wedding of two very close friends. The ceremony was beautiful, and very personal, suiting the couple to a tee. The reception was lovely, with great food and more than adequate provisions for all guests. It was probably the best wedding I have ever been to.

What I discovered when talking to people after the wedding is that one guest, Cathy (name changed to protect the guilty), decided that the wedding did not meet her standards. She complained throughout the whole ceremony about the venue, that being married in a garden was ‘stupid’ and that the venue itself (a very pretty historic home converted to reception was ‘tacky’.

She also regaled several guests with how different she would do things at her own wedding. She would have X venue, Y entertainment etc., and it would be ‘much classier’ than the wedding she was at. (It should be noted that Cathy is NOT engaged, and her BF is trying to avoid her unsubtle hints.) Her tablemates told me that she complained loudly about the food and the drink. I caught the bouquet, which caused Cathy to snark to several people that the tossing was ‘rigged’ (it wasn’t, I’m tall and was in a good spot). You can see her pulling faces in the post-toss photos.

When the bride was walking around speaking to her guests, Bride asked Guestzilla if she was having a good time. Cathy replied that no, she wasn’t, the wedding was probably the worst she’d been to. Bride chose to completely ignore Cathy and speak to other guests instead of dignifying her comment with a response. The very worst part of all of this was that Cathy wasn’t originally invited – only her BF was. But both BF and Cathy threw a fit and demanded that she come, or the BF wouldn’t. Bride and Groom graciously allowed Cathy to invite herself, only to have her act like the worst kind of troll. 0623-09

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Dani October 21, 2009 at 9:53 am

Wow, even though this entry is about Guestzilla, I think the bride should be nominated for Bride of the Year for putting up with it!

Reply

M. October 21, 2009 at 7:45 pm

Gee, wonder why BF is avoiding her hints? Someone get that man a spine, stat!

Reply

Alexis October 21, 2009 at 8:26 pm

This just goes ot show you that no good can come out of bullying. The trick is to refuse to give in to it. No good deed goes unpunished, as the saying goes. I’m guessing it was obvious to all the guests that ‘Cathy’ was as envious as she was rude.

Reply

Izzy February 7, 2010 at 7:13 am

:( If I was a fellow guest at that table (or next to her at the ceremony) I’d just keep chanting “You can leave…Nobody’s keeping you…You can leave…Please…”. Yea, bride needs a “bride of the year” award.

Reply

jenna February 14, 2010 at 8:23 am

The bride deserves an award for putting up with that, true.

Though if she and her BF were an exclusive item (for more than, say, whatever acceptable time frame you want – long enough that she’s hinting about marriage) while the guest list was being planned, she should have been invited anyway. I’m not presuming to tell people who they have to invite to weddings, but I thought known long-term partners of guests was a pretty standard thing.

Reply

Lauri February 22, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Actually, Jenna, I believe that etiquette dictates that married and engaged couples be invited to weddings, but not necessarily that those who are just dating. I agree that if you know a couple has been together for some time and is well established, then you probably should invite both as a courtesy, but not as a social obligation.

Reply

PrincessMeeah March 18, 2010 at 8:52 pm

i guess that almost counted her as party crasher LOL… have some manners… free food… free date with your boyfriend… had something to do when obviously you’d have nothing planned.., she could have at least just smiled and said yes… people can be so tacky at the wrong time…

Reply

PrincessSimmi March 18, 2010 at 9:49 pm

Bride of the year, definitely.

Some people just can’t deal with not being the centre of attention for the day, and have to ruin it for everyone else (Mum, I’m referring to you…)

Reply

MrsAdorkable March 26, 2010 at 8:01 pm

That poor bride! Kudos to her.
I personally think that a friend or even someone from the wedding party should have stepped in and first, politely suggested she leave if it wasn’t to her liking. Then if the rudeness continued, be a bit more harsh.

Reply

RP July 26, 2010 at 9:40 am

If this is Cathy’s typical behavior then it’s no wonder the Bride initially didn’t invite her even if she and BF were in a long time relationship. Perhaps she was just trying to give BF a day off?

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: