Maybe They Should Stay Home…Far, Far Away From The Ungraciousness

by admin on December 9, 2009

Is it ever appropriate to attend a wedding reception (catered, per plate affair) with no gift? We had our wedding last month and dished out a delicious luncheon for 81 guests, with unlimited beer and wine. Cost about $60.00 per person. Out of all those people, 3 couples show up with no card or gift. One couple gave an empty card. This upset me, but I blew it off as them not being able to afford a gift. Until I later found out this couple was purchasing expensive mixed drinks all afternoon.

I cannot believe that people will have the audacity to show up to a wedding with no gift. Especially when they know you are paying per plate. If you cannot afford to contribute a small token of appreciation for being invited, then stay home or let your financial situation be known first to the bride and groom.

One couple “forgot” their card and said they would mail it (3 weeks ago). My husband’s own parents came with no card or gift, stating that they paid for our dog to go to the vet months before so a gift was not needed (even though they spent 60k on their daughters wedding and refused to contribute a cent to ours).

WTH is wrong with people? Well I hope they all had a fun afternoon eating and drinking on our dime!!   1114-09

Etiquette is very much about reciprocal obligations and it is true that if invited to a wedding, a guest should bring a wedding gift. *However*, the flip side of that is that the bride and groom are to have no expectation of receiving gifts so they are not tempted to direct their guests in what to give them or become embittered when gifts do not match their expectations.

Wedding gifts are not to be construed as any sort of payment in kind for a reception meal.  I see far too many brides, grooms and parents who believe that guests are somehow supposed to ascertain by psychic means how much was spent per person on the wedding and give a gift that correlates in value.  A wedding is merely a much larger extension of your personal entertaining and hospitality and since it is highly unlikely you would expect your friends and family to fork over money or a gift for attending a dinner party or BBQ at your home, it follows that you do not expect these same friends and family to pay for your reception.

You invite people to your wedding because they are family, close friends and people you love enough to want to share in your happy day.  You then extend hospitality to them with food because they are your invited guests.   Your comment that you wished that non-gifting bearing guests should stay home indicates to me an inhospitable attitude and a prioritization of gifts being much more important to than you than the people you invited to witness your wedding.   So, in your case, the greater etiquette faux pas is yours.

{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }

Alexis December 9, 2009 at 2:49 pm

One more observation:
The writer complained that one couple who failed to bring a gift was ‘purchasing expensive mixed drinks all afternoon’. In other words, there was a cash bar at the reception. That is beyond tacky and rude. If you expect guests to pay for their own drinks, then their gift to you is to help pay for the wedding of your choosing.

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Diane December 9, 2009 at 7:26 pm

Yes, if they were purchasing drinks, then it was not on your dime. I understand we’re in a recession, but it may have been better to have a cheaper price per person or a less expensive venue so that you could pay for drinks (and maybe just beer and wine but no cash bar). I went to a wedding where I had to pay for SOFT DRINKS.

You invite people to your wedding to celebrate, not to get a gift. Ugh.

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Morty'sCleaningLady December 10, 2009 at 3:30 pm

In response to a previous reply, the Bride mentioned that she did have a bar with open wine and beer. The couple preferred to purchase an option that was not being offered.

All that said, invitations do not equal gifts. The Bride has unreasonable expectations. People are invited because they are important to you and you want them to share in your joyous occasion.

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Jordan December 11, 2009 at 12:04 am

I thought etiquette allowed for some time after the wedding to send a gift. I know that I often send a gift after the wedding (bringing gifts to the wedding is not done in my circle), and I remember receiving gifts for months after my wedding.

Also, 3 couples out of 80 people does not seem like all that many; I’m not sure I would have even noticed 3 couples hadn’t given me something, much less spent time being upset about it.

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Danielle December 11, 2009 at 11:34 am

The bride is the one with the bad ettiquite here, not the guests. Gifts are not required at a wedding.

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Kitten December 12, 2009 at 2:39 am

I completely agree with everyone else about the rather sucky sentiment about the guests that didn’t have gifts. However, I also received three of those “gift will be there later” cards/statements and never received anything. I mean, did the person honestly forget (which definitely happens) or were they just feeling awkward about not getting a gift? To be clear, I had no expectations of gifts, I hadn’t included any registries in my invitations, and I told my family and bridesmaids that my registries were only to be given out upon people asking.

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Kitty December 16, 2009 at 9:40 pm

I’ve never attended a wedding without a gift, but I wouldn’t expect gifts at my own. We’re getting married soon and we don’t expect gifts from anyone. We really truly don’t. As far as we’re concerned, the day will be a success if the legal part in the church happens and our guests feel welcome and cared for. I don’t understand why this bride is upset.

Incidentally, this idea of a cash bar being tacky I also find bemusing. Cash bars are the norm in the UK. I’ve never attended a wedding where the drinks have been free. Usually you get something as a reception drink, a glass or two with the meal and a glass to toast with and the rest you pay for. Occasionaly I’ve been to a wedding where drink has been subsidised. Are free bars really the norm in the USA?

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Powers December 17, 2009 at 11:34 am

I don’t know if I’d say “the norm”, but it’s considered good etiquette not to require your guests to pay for their libations, since they are your guests and all. It’s part of hosting to provide everything your guests might need for entertainment and refreshments. Etiquette-wise, it’s like having a dinner party at your house and asking for a fiver from each guest before you open up the liquor cabinet.

That said, partial cash-bars, where soft drinks and maybe beer and wine are free but liquor must be paid for by each guest, are somewhat more acceptable, but an open bar is still considered better.

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Jenny December 18, 2009 at 5:04 pm

Well, I sure hope the bride “put out” to every man who took her to dinner during her dating years. After all, he bought dinner, which means she owed him. Same concept, right?

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Chocobo December 21, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Honestly I’m not terribly offended by cash bars. Normally you get something with dinner and a toast, and that’s enough. No one ever said that overflowing free booze is compulsory. The fact that there is an option for people to purchase more if they so choose isn’t offensive. Somewhere along the line, someone decided that weddings were an excuse for drunken debauchery and drinking your fill is required. I don’t understand this, myself.

The bride, however, clearly has a nasty attitude about gifting. I agree with one of the posters above… my future husband and I are completely indifferent about wedding gifts. What’s important is that our families be there to witness our union, not that they shower us with expensive (and often in the long run, useless) baubles.

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Charles Dexter Ward December 21, 2009 at 4:31 pm

I haven’t been to any weddings like this recently, but if I knew the bride I’d drop the friendship immediately. Who wants friends with that kind of entitlement mentality?

You don’t invite people to your wedding for presents. Or, actually, you do–but gracious people don’t. That way, it doesn’t matter what kind of gift they bring, you still enjoy your wedding and reception and enjoy the friendship. Even better, you don’t get called out for being a gimme pig because you have nothing to complain about.

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Fanboy Wife January 25, 2010 at 6:48 pm

I did attend a few wedding when I was a poor college student, and I barely had enough money to pay for the gas to make it to the event. I usually gave away pottery that I made as gifts. I received thank-you cards from the couples regardless of the cost of the gift. I’m happy that I have friends that appreciated my gifts, even if they didn’t cost as much as my dinner.

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Izzy February 7, 2010 at 2:13 am

Hey bridezilla
You are the reason this site is so popular! I think this needs more backstory…Did you throw any bridal showers? Could you afford such a lavish wedding? (If yes, why are you greedy for cash? If no, then why didn’t you pick somewhere cheaper?)
And if you and your now-hubby have been living together , a lot of people don’t give (as much) gifts, as you’d already have most the things you need.
Hope you learn something!

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Margaret February 9, 2010 at 4:40 am

Where I live, cash bars are the norm, and it is usually stated on the invitation (cash bar, loonie bar, etc). It is not considered offensive.

I actually read a Miss Manners guide some years ago, and according to that, sending a wedding gift in the YEAR following the wedding is considered good manners.

I am always curious to know if the people who are so offended that someone did NOT send a gift are also able to name each gift (or gift amount) that they received from the remaining guests?

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mollyollydoodle February 12, 2010 at 4:58 pm

If you have a party – of any kind – you never expect the guests to pay for their meals or drinks. If you can’t afford a big overblown affair, you throw the kind of party you can afford. People want to come celebrate with you because they like you and they are happy for you.

You never invite people to anything expecting something other than companionship in return. Guests may choose to bring you a gift (they probably will, let’s face it), but you never expect it.

It doesn’t matter what “the norm” is, if it is bad manners. Use your good sense and don’t bend to what others are doing.

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jenna February 14, 2010 at 6:33 am

I don’t think we Americans have a right to criticize the fact that in the UK, cash bars are the norm (they are). Etiquette changes by country and honestly, it’s just not worth getting het up over if people in another country do it differently.

That said – while we’d never, ever, ever have a cash bar at our upcoming wedding, and while I’d inwardly raise my eyebrows if I attended someone else’s and they did…I wouldn’t outwardly complain about it. Yeah, it’s not the best etiquette and yeah, I’d never do that, but there’s this other part of etiquette, beyond where the polite host’s duties end…where the polite guest’s duties begin. Even if you find something unbearably tacky at someone else’s wedding, it’s really not OK to say something or whine about it. That just makes you rude, too. People commit etiquette gaffes all the time, and if a faux pas can’t be addressed and rectified politely, it should be dropped. Let it go. It’s just one day. It won’t kill ya to NOT whine about someone else’s open bar for a few hours, even if you do inwardly cringe.

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Smiling Charmer February 15, 2010 at 12:22 pm

Tacky, tacky, tacky. So you invite your family&friends thinking of their gifts and not the pleasure of their presence at the most important day of your life…. this is awful, I feel sorry for you.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a wedding, a bar mitzvah, a birthday party, a New Year’s Eve party, a bridal shower, a farewell party or just afternoon tea – don’t expect your guests to pay for drinks or food. If you can’t afford it, please plan according to your budget or just don’t do anything .

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Jes February 16, 2010 at 3:12 pm

I had a cash bar at my wedding (in the U.S.) 12 years ago… we did it as a practical thing: lots of heavy drinkers, upscale hotel, Mom knowing the owner of said hotel, we figured not having people stumbling drunk would save a whole lot of embarrassment for lots of people. I don’t know if times have just changed or what, but it was considered quite socially acceptable to ask guests to purchase their own alcohol, beyond the champagne served for the toasting.

I’m surprised that no one has pointed out that this bridezilla complained that the new Father-In-Law didn’t chip in for the cost of the wedding. I was taught that it was the Bride’s family that was responsible for the wedding costs, other than flowers (those paid for by groom’s family, along with partial cost of honeymoon.) Has that changed as well? Is everyone who is related to the bride or groom now considered rude if they don’t go deeply into debt to finance a wedding?

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MMF April 4, 2010 at 11:01 pm

Late; but I recently attended a friend’s wedding in Japan, where one is expected to give money and the money is SUPPOSED to be to help pay for the cost of the reception (Japanese parties are similar — it’s normal to expect to pay the host to help reimburse them for the cost of the party). As it was my first time attending a Japanese wedding I asked the bride (a very close friend) how much was appropriate to give, and she told me since I was traveling so far that I shouldn’t pay anything. (She insisted, so in the end I got her a small gift instead)

The reception was quite elaborate, with a multicourse meal, equivalent of an open bar, etc, and must have been expensive. However, despite the fact that I didn’t contribute any money, my friend thanked me profusely for coming and said how happy she was just to have me there. I was really touched.

I can’t help but contrast this attitude to that of the “stay home” bride here. I know which type of person I’d rather be, and which type I’d rather be friends with, too. If you care about money and things more than your guests, maybe you should skip having a party altogether.

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Nightibis April 6, 2010 at 12:55 pm

To be fair Jes, I think she was trying to illustrate the idea that her FIL could afford to purchase them a “real” wedding gift since he’d shelled out 60K for their daughter’s wedding. Evidently paying their dog’s vet bill (which, by the way, could have run into the hundreds of dollars depending on why the dog was going in) didn’t count.

As for the purchasing of the mixed drinks, there might not have been a cash bar. If the reception was in a venue that had an independent bar (many hotels, for example, have bars in them that are open to the public) her guests may have wandered over there to get the mixed drinks that the happy couple chose not to provide.

That being said, wow that bride was rude!

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Newgirl April 27, 2010 at 10:02 am

I know it’s late to be commenting on this but I just wanted to try and clarify the issue of cash bars in the UK.

Firstly it’s worth bearing in mind that receptions in the UK are typically much longer affairs. A ceremony around noon (or even in the morning) is typical with the reception starting immediately afterwards (allowing time to travel to the venue of course) and then going on until midnight. It’s very possible we’re talking about an all day event.

Secondly it’s not a case of all or nothing. As other commentors have said the hosts will generally provide a drink on arrival at the reception, a glass or two of wine (sometimes beer) with dinner and drinks for toasts. That’s 3 or 4 free drinks per guest, which I believe is the equivilent of the socially acceptable US idea of providing a few bottles per table. Having a cash bar just means that if anyone wants anything more to drink (and almost everyone will) they are able to have it without the hosts running up a bill of thousands of pounds.

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NKKingston May 7, 2010 at 4:43 am

If you can’t afford it, please plan according to your budget or just don’t do anything .

Multiple people seem to be saying this, but surely that’s exactly what is being done. Given a choice between (a) cutting friends out of the wedding, (b) offering them less or substandard food or (c) only offering soft drinks and explaining if they desire alcohol they can put up or shut up bring it with them or purchase it themselves, C seems like the most appropriate option any time. Honestly, I love a drink, but the idea of going to any kind of party and expecting the host to provide as much as I feel like drinking just seems rude. A good host shouldn’t let their guests go thirsty, but a good guest shouldn’t expect expensive beverages provided just because that’s what they personally want. Limited alcohol leads to limited drunkeness!

Like Newgirl says, a British wedding usually runs all afternoon and evening. Guests are provided with champagne for toasting, and wine with the meal, but anything additional is usually a soft drink (most guests wouldn’t survive the night otherwise!). Since a lot of people use hotels for receptions there usually is a cash bar somewhere in the venue anyway, though it may not open until the evening.

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Thea May 10, 2010 at 7:16 am

NKKingston, no its not what’s being done.

The actual best option is D: DON”T HAVE A BAR AT ALL. Don’t mention it, don’t offer any other version.

You don’t NEED alcohol to have a wedding/celebration and if people won’t come because of it, then you know exactly where they rank you in their life: below alcohol.

And if people leave your wedding to go GET alcohol because they can’t stand to spend an evening without it? Well, that tells you even more about them, doesn’t it?

And on the main topic of the post: Gifts are not mandatory at weddings. Gifts are never mandatory in life, period. The belief that a certain day or event in your life means you are entitled to or are owed something is ludicrous. Nobody automatically deserves anything extra, gifts aren’t given because you’re SUPPOSED to, gifts are given because the giver wants to. That’s why they’re called gifts and not taxes/tithes.

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Kathy May 10, 2010 at 9:29 am

As in the UK, cash bars are also the norm at weddings in Ireland. Drinks are provided for a toast and during the meal. What I found quite shocking about US weddings when I first heard about it is that bridesmaids in the US are expected to pay for their own dresses. In Ireland it would be a huge etiquette faux pas if the bride did not buy the bridesmaids’ dresses.

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NKKingston May 10, 2010 at 9:56 am

I guess so many receptions in the UK take place in hotels (at least, in my experience), there’s a bar there whether you like it or not. Even in conference suites and other set-aside areas there’s often a bar, and if your guests are staying at the hotel they’ll probably take a look around the venue anyway. The hotel offers the cash bar, not the wedding party.

But like you say, people who turn down an invite on the basis it’s a dry wedding? They’re not friends.

(and the bridesmaid dress thing is the same in the UK as Ireland. Don’t know if it applies to groomsmen, though, since most wedding’s I’ve been to have only had a Best Man)

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Kat June 1, 2010 at 5:06 pm

If I’m reading this right, you got (in addition to the pleasure of your guests’ company) 78 gifts, right? Couldn’t this glass be considered way more than half full?

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PrincessSimmi June 14, 2010 at 3:13 am

@Jenny: bahahahaha! :)

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Tracy Hastings June 21, 2010 at 6:30 pm

How did the open vs. cash bar become the issue here? When I read the OP what first caught my attention was the statement, “If you cannot afford to contribute a small token of appreciation for being invited, then stay home or let your financial situation be known first to the bride and groom.” First, why should guests have to provide a “token of appreciation” for being invited. You invited them because you wanted their presence (and apparently presents). They no more owe you a “token of appreciation” for being invited than you owe them a “token of appreciation” for showing up. Second, a wedding gift (or any gift that is not explicitly a “thank you” gift) is not a “token of appreciation” is is a symbol of good wishes; a way to say “congratulations,” “good luck,” “we wish you well.” A wedding gift is not payment for dinner. The orignal post says much more about the OP’s priorities than it does the manners of her guests.

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TheBardess June 29, 2010 at 12:50 pm

So, let me get this straight- if I were fortunate enough to receive the (dubious) honor of being invited to your oh-so-special wedding, my “presents” there would be more important to you than my “presence?”

Wow. That’s a *lovely* attitude. Glad to see you have your priorities straight (material gifts over the presence and support of loved ones).

Oh, and my financial situation is NONE of your business. Period. I am under NO obligation to let you know the state of my financial affairs, and I am under NO obligation to give you a gift. If this is the attitude you routinely display to your friends and family than a) I am surprised you have many friends left and b) I would not have given you a gift either. I would consider myself duty-bound not to feed your sense of entitlement and greed.

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gramma dishes July 7, 2010 at 10:30 pm

@Mollyollydoodle ~~”If you have a party – of any kind – you never expect the guests to pay for their meals or drinks. If you can’t afford a big overblown affair, you throw the kind of party you can afford. People want to come celebrate with you because they like you and they are happy for you.”

I agree with you. But if the party givers offer unlimited supplies of wine and beer (as this OP did), don’t you think the guests have an obligation to accept what is offered? A good guest would be content with the food and drink supplied by their hosts!

In this case, the guests apparently wanted more. Mixed drinks or B&B or something! I don’t think that makes the hosts bad hosts, it makes the guests bad guests!!!

I agree with everyone though that weddings are not about gifts!!!! Good grief!

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andrea July 15, 2010 at 12:06 pm

I agree that gifts are always optional. Of course they’re optional! And so are cards. But….

My spouse and I just married 3 months ago, and we asked for “creative” gifts, since we know so many artists and musicians. Out of 70 guests who attended (and 90 invited), we received only 2 gifts and about 7 cards. It was the absence of cards that made us particularly sad. We invited 90 people, and only a few actually gave us their blessings. We’re still hurt. Our friends aren’t usually stingy, and several had said they were excited about making something (or singing something, or taking photos, etc etc). We thought we’d be saving our friends money and angst, but in the end, they showed up, ate and drank (open bar), and left without even saying “Best wishes” or “Thanks!” in many cases. Depressing, after the fact, although it was a lovely day. Sigh. We know times are tough, too; that’s why we asked for people to just make something (and we mean, anything at all… scribble a note on some construction paper! Anything!)… but in the end, the vast majority of our guests did not contribute anything at all. Anyone have any feedback???

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RP July 22, 2010 at 12:31 pm

@andrea

1) You shouldn’t be telling your guests what to get you. That may have irritated most of your guests and be why you didn’t get anything from most people.

2) Creative gifts aren’t necessarily cheap and are time-consuming.

3) “We know times are tough, too; that’s why we asked for people to just make something”
Your guests may have seen this as “We know times are tough but we still expect a gift!”

4) The friends who were excited to make something shouldn’t have said anything ahead of time. That actually gave you a legit reason to expect something and I can see being disappointed if someone says they’ll sing you a song and then they don’t.

5) That most people did not congratulate you and your husband on your nuptials or say best wishes is sad. Did they leave without saying anything at all? It seems like congratulating and celebrating with the couple IS the point of going to a wedding so I don’t understand why people would leave without doing so.

Did they not extend congratulations or well wishes at all during the reception? Not even a “It was a lovely ceremony”?

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Ali August 13, 2010 at 9:23 pm

We received an IOU for a $50 bond for our wedding for one of my father-in-law’s long time friends. Did we make our First Communion?

I would have rather had nothing. Or a toaster. And I got my wish because it’s been more than a year and we never did receive the actual bond.

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lkb August 14, 2010 at 6:49 am

I just wanted to bring up the possibility that unreceived gifts were lost or stolen. A friend of mine once told me that all the envelopes brought to her reception were stolen. While the couple tried to notify everyone afterward, there really was no way to be sure everyone was contacted.

Also, there is a possibility that gifts sent through the mail did not make it to their intended destination. One friend’s complete stack of graduation announcements went missing, even though the mother brought them directly to the post office.

Or, despite the best intentions of the giver, sending the gift could have slipped his or her mind. I remember when my father passed away, there were no flowers from my employer. When I returned to work, I discretely asked the HR person (solely so that she would know if the florist had taken the company’s money without delivering the goods). She sheepishly admitted that she had noted the funeral information, but things got busy — the information got buried in a pile of paperwork and the flowers were neither ordered or sent. She was most apologetic and she had the company make a generous memorial donation to our children’s school in my father’s name.

In any case, if either the couple or the giver has a concern, there is nearly always a way to ask politely, without making it look like a gift grab. I’d want to know too if a gift I sent was not received.

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Princesssimmi August 14, 2010 at 8:39 am

Just as an add-on to lkb’s comment: never trust the postal service 100%. My 21st birthday invitations- I sent 22 and 20 arrived. My Uncle and Aunt only knew where to show up because their son and dil received one and were living at the same address. My sister never got one and found out from my Mum Deb. I never received the invite for my cousin’s second birthday and my Grandpa called me to tell me off for blowing off my family (although we eventually figured out what happened and I attended the party).

I’ve just turned 22 and my Sister’s invite arrived about a week ago.

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CherryBlossom September 28, 2010 at 5:18 pm

I was brought up to always bring a gift to a wedding (or shower, or dinner party), I believe that is just good manners, so from the perspective of a guest I can’t fathom budgeting money for alcohol but not for a gift. That does strike me as quite rude. That said, a bride should never, ever expect gifts. Expecting them from every single guest, when your guest list is more than like eleven people, is absurd and utterly greedy.

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Sharon September 28, 2010 at 10:51 pm

I just saw this one!
I love the OP’s remark, “If you cannot afford to contribute a small token of appreciation for being invited, then stay home or let your financial situation be known first to the bride and groom.”

OH, MY LIVING GOD! That is hillarious!
Can you imagine… Sally gets an invite to Susie’s wedding. This is the ninth or tenth wedding Susie and her husband have been invited to this month. So… to practice “good” etiquette Sally calls Susie:
Ring, Ring…
“Hello?”
“Hello, future bride! I just got the invite to your wedding, I am so happy for you. We are trying to budget our income over the next month and we will need to know just how much we will be required to PAY for the meal we will recieve at your affair???”
“Oh, we are paying $60.00 a plate. So… hmmm… YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!”
“Oh dear. Well, that would be at least $120 gift, wouldn’t it? Well, that is a lot of money and you know John just got laid off and I broke a tooth this morning. But, HEY the two of us can go sell blood and pawn my wedding rings… I sure hope we get enough money to get a gift worthy of this fine meal you have ordered up!”

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lkb September 29, 2010 at 4:13 am

Thinking more about it…Yes, the bride was unspeakably rude to demand and expect gifts. They are not required — ever.

However, I don’t think I could live with myself if I attended a wedding without giving a gift somehow. I wouldn’t bring it to the reception (see my previous post), but I would at least send something. It may not be expensive but I would want to bring at least some token of my affection. I suppose there are people who look at all weddings as a chance to party on someone else’s dime — thank goodness, I don’t think I associate with them.

So, I kind of see where the bride is coming from, but I can also see why some of her guests chose not to give in to her expectations either. Yeesh!

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Offshoreoildude October 11, 2010 at 12:22 am

What a pity she saw it that way… for our wedding in Australia (my 2nd, my DW’s first) I really didn’t want gifts and DW wasn’t too worried. As for the open bar – there are major issues now (legally, health wise and morally) dispensing alcohol without limits to guests in Australia. Fortunately our reception was a in a hotel owned by some local bikies – they made sure no one went over the limit and killed themselves or DUI’d on the way home.

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LilyG October 11, 2010 at 12:03 pm

Wow, I must have some seriously dry family and friends. We provided beer and champagne for our reception and ended up taking more than a quarter of it home. There was expensive champgne for New Year’s Eve for years!

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Tanya October 11, 2010 at 3:31 pm

An “empty” card? As if the only purpose of a card was to enclose something of more value to Bridezilla (cash, cheque, gift card) instead of conveying a sentiment… Disgusting.

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Shayna October 11, 2010 at 4:01 pm

I can’t remember if I posted a comment here before or not, but I’m going to do so now…LOL…at our wedding, we provided wine with the meal and for toasting. However, we did have a cash bar available, but it was mostly because we got married in a pub. But, we were later notified before going home for the evening that one of the guests had stuck us with the bill for their drinks, which totaled nearly $200.

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Javin October 5, 2011 at 4:18 pm

I can’t tell if the OP’s serious, or if we just got trolled.

If serious, then the OP is precisely the kind of person that this site was designed for. “I can’t believe people would have the audacity” to show up to a party you’re hosting, that you invited them to, so they can share a special day with you, and yet they dare show up without paying the cover charge?! The nerve. You’re a disgusting gimme pig, OP.

I don’t care HOW much you spent on decorations, catering, etc. That was your decision. Not theirs. When you host a party, you NEVER have a “right” to “expect” compensation.

I’m curious… How many bridal showers did you host for yourself?

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