I have a question: are you okay with themed weddings so long as they stick to, say, decorations and cakes but don’t actually dress up as characters? So a bride and groom have a Star Wars wedding, complete with R2-D2 cake and various Star Wars trappings during the reception, but the guests, bride and groom are all in “normal” wedding gear? I know you believe that dressing up as characters means that you are defiling the sacredness of wedding vows, but keeping it to just the decorations makes it more like choosing certain colors, and going with the cherry blossom cake and all the other frippery we’ve convinced ourselves is important, yes?
I honestly do not know anyone who would dress up in Star Wars or Star Trek or Medieval or Lord of the Rings Gear simply as costuming for their wedding. For the people I know who participate in these types of weddings, these are their personae. For example, my SCA friends learn traditional crafts and cooking, own many outfits in medieval garb, take part in tournaments and courts. For them, this is an aspect of their lives. In fact many of them consider putting on street clothes and going to work a facade that they wear to cope with modern society, while in their heart of hearts they are a member of whatever society they have assumed.
To be married “in character” is not wearing a costume for one day. The outfit they wear to get married is more in keeping with what they consider their normal mode of dress than is a tuxedo for someone who habitually wears jeans or chinos. If I am, in my heart of hearts, Bridget of Loundon, of the Barony of Angels, then to marry in a traditional white wedding dress would be false and costumy, and to marry in a medieval gown would be an example of my true self in formal clothing.
I know that for people who do not live in these alternate persona that this looks odd and irreverent. I can assure you that most of these people are not doing this “for fun.” They are entirely serious about who they are and what they are vowing, as evidenced by the fact that they are participating as their true selves.
Thank-you TychaBrahe for putting that point of view forward, its one I hadnt considered before but I see what you are saying and I think I learnt something!
How is this an etiquette faux pas? This couple is doing something true to them, and everyone seems to be having a great time.
Whether a wedding is Klingon, Goth, or Renaissance Fairy, in the bayou with a camouflage/hunting theme, or whatever, if it’s expressive of the couple and fun for all involved, how is it “tacky” or an etiquette problem? Just because it’s not to your taste, or not something you personally would do, doesn’t mean it’s “tacky”.
Personally I’d rather attend a Klingon wedding any day than sit through one more boring “correct” event with a perfunctory, cookie-cutter ceremony, interminable reception speeches, music only enjoyable for the 19 year old karaoke crowd, etc.
Honestly, I’ve never seen the appeal of Klingons, but I can respect it. =) I just hope they kept the Klingon opera music to a minimum at the reception!
I can understand why some people may not like it but I think it’s really creative.
The families are happy and no one is being hurt so what’s the harm in it?
Vegas has based an entire industry upon people who want to do things a little ‘differently’ than other people. God bless ’em! It isn’t the wedding that matters, it’s the marriage.
A difference in taste is not a faux pas. I don’t see putting on a costume as any different than getting married in front of a JP at the courthouse, if all of the participants consent. It’s not for anyone other than the HC to determine how serious they are about their vows.
I’ve seen this sort of wedding, & I think it’s a cute, sweet way to involve your interests, and a bit of yourself, into your wedding. It’s no worse than any other sort of theme wedding, and actually would be a ton of fun to attend!
Also, there is nothing inherantly tacky, nor is it a breach in decorum.
Well this wouldn’t be my ideal wedding (although my fiance disagrees) but this is obviously what this couple agreed on.. So what is the problem again? More power to them!
My husband and I had a Darkovan wedding. To those that haven’t read Marion Zimmer Bradley’s Darkover novels-=-think medieval wedding. We had it at the then Purple Hyatt in 1986.
I’m really disappointed that you’re calling this a breech of etiquette. I see I am not alone in being quite certain that it is not. A wedding doesn’t have to be traditional. This is a matter of taste, and good taste, as long as there is no rudeness, is a matter of opinion.
As long as all guests and participants were made to feel welcome and included and were treated well, what the heck is the problem here? The couple were doing something they enjoyed. More power to them for their passion and non-conformity!
Is the admin calling this a breech in etiquette?
The video is just here without any commentary. Is it possible it was posted just because it’s interesting and/or unusual? I think this post could use an explanation from the admin.
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