When my husband and I were pregnant with my daughter in 2005, we had moved into a small U shape of OLD army barracks- turned -apartments on one of Louisiana’s main (country) highways. These places were and are HORRIBLE!
Now, it’s not that we aren’t very neighborly, but at this time, I was going through a VERY rough pregnancy and both my husband and I HATE dealing with neighborhood drama. So, we really only got to know a few of the neighbors. There were three buildings all facing each other with two separate “homes” in each building. Itty bitty, two bedroom, one tiny bathroom, barely there kitchen and living room.
However, we tried to make the best of it. The rent was REALLY cheap, it was right by my son’s school, and less than 5 minutes away from my parents. BUT, the landlord was a lecher who would take other forms of “payment” (Thank God pregnant women disgusted him in this case!) and would fix absolutely nothing that was wrong with the house.
Soon, the inspector came out and declared the buildings, especially ours, a death trap, the antique wiring was shot, there was some kind of water leak that turned my tiny back yard into a bayou (LITERALLY! I had a run in with a nutra rat! ugh!) and the home health nurse who was helping me take care of my newly born preemie daughter reported the guy for the lack of fire extinguishers. Then in summer, the sand flea infestation came!
But for lack of options, we toughed it out. Then when cold weather came, along with the frost, so did the new neighbors to the left of us. Oh, did I mention that it was three prostitutes? Yes! All three of them propositioned my husband on a regular basis! I guess they figured that since I was recovering from an emergency C section and looked like death warmed over that my husband was looking for company elsewhere.
But what made it worse was what happened when these girls were turned down. One morning it was so cold that everything was frozen outside. The night before, we had been awakened by some sounds at the back door. It sounded like an animal, so my husband said he would check in the morning. Well, that morning he finally gets the door pried open and on our back stoop, right in front of the door, is a coffee filter that is smeared with human feces! I know, wait a minute right? No, seriously, there is a coffee filter on the stoop, smeared with and covering a small mound of human feces and they used the coffee filter to wipe their butt! and just left it there to FREEZE SOLID on our back porch! At this point, I was just hoping and praying that any potentially deadly bacteria has been killed off and won’t infect my house or kids!
Soon after this, I leave out of town to bring my kids to visit my grandparents (where it’s even colder! Louisiana girls can only take so much cold!) and my husband stays at home to work and watch the house. He calls me up that night and asks me if I had left one of my tongue rings outside. Uh no. Then he says that it’s acrylic. I don’t own acrylic, b/c they break in your mouth and pose a choking hazard. Someone left a purple acrylic tongue ring on the back stoop, in the same place that the poo was left! GROSS! More importantly, what were they doing with it on my back stoop?!
On top of this, the girls next door are having customers over at all times of the night, slamming doors and car doors, yelling and screaming and fighting horribly loud. It was when the gun shots started that I decided to be the neighbor “who doesn’t know how to mind her own business” and called the cops. Not only were they arrested for disturbing the peace, but they landed counts of assault, assault with a deadly weapon, contributing to the delinquincy of minors, underage drinking, prostitution, plus several drug charges!
I was so glad when we moved from there, although the neighbors now are of a different but still insane caliber…. but that’s another story! 1027-08