My husband’s friend Orville was with a girlfriend named Romilda for three years. Whenever Husband and Orville would spend time together, I was stuck entertaining Romilda, who was insane. I say that fully knowing that it would insult insane people to group her in with their category, but she was truly bonkers. Once we were playing Scrabble, and she tore out of the living room and shut herself in the bathroom, crying, because she was losing. At the time she was TWENTY-FOUR years old.
Orville finally broke up with Romilda. And immediately she latched onto me, not unlike a lamprey eel, and started referring to us as “best friends.” She would comment on my Facebook page every 10 minutes to the point where a person said to me, unsolicited, “This is pretty creepy looking.” She told me stories about how Orville broke up with her because she “got fat” and that he cheated on her, etc etc, but Orville denied all this (he said,she said, blah blah blah).
Every day I came home to see 12 missed calls from Romilda on my caller ID. She called me multiple times at work even after I told her not to call me there! Once I had this message on my answering machine: “I know you’re home, because I drove past and I saw your lights on.” Oh my god!! I blocked her on Facebook and she called me FIVE MINUTES later to ask why she couldn’t view my Facebook page. That’s when I told her to NEVER call me again! She didn’t, for about 24 hours, when Orville and his new girlfriend Sandy were at my place and she, letting it ring until the machine picked up, then hung up and dialed again, three times in a row. Purely psychotic. I managed to shake her and haven’t heard from her in almost a year. Please god , may it stay that way. 09-25-08
Some People Are Better Off Single
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