I was recently contacted by my husband’s sister (Jackie) to help with a baby shower for her daughter-in-law. I am not really friends with the mom-to-be (Sandra) but I do like her husband who is friends with my husband. I was going to decline when the father-to-be (Keith) asked me to get involved to “make the event nicer”. I was an event coordinator years ago and love to throw parties. I agreed and spent several hours coming up with a few different themes and ideas and even went to the trouble to make quick idea boards so they could get a nice visual. Sandra agreed on one without much enthusiasm. I knew she liked Winnie the Pooh so I reworked the ideas to incorporate Classic Winnie the Pooh decorations. They were much happier with that. Keith & Sandra designed their own invitations which were so tacky I had to re-do them. The original invites said “this isn’t your run of the mill baby shower….and DJ, CASH BAR, FOOD, PRIZES, FUN!” and never bothered to list me or Jackie as co-hostess. Jackie and I have to run everything by Sandra to make sure it’s ok and she likes it! I don’t know why she doesn’t just throw herself a party. She’s just being so rude! She doesn’t have very good taste and just waits to hear what I suggest then says, “Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted”.
Now for the real kick in the pants… Keith & Sandra are asking to invite my friends!!! People they have never bothered to invite over to their house for a BBQ or dinner but all of a sudden they want them to come to the baby shower?!? I am guessing they just want more bodies and more gifts. I would feel totally weird handing out invites to my friends on their behalf! They asked my opinion but how do you say, “Those people aren’t even your friends and it would be rude to invite people you hardly know to an event they will be expected to bring a gift to”. I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place here! Or am I just being bitchy?? 0805-09
I consider it bizarre that a hostess must get her party plans approved by the guest of honor. Other than ascertaining the potential guest list and theme the mother would like, a hostess bears no further responsibility to “run things by” the recipient of her kind hospitality. As has been said many times before on this site, if you cannot trust the person hosting a party in your honor to execute it tastefully, then don’t accept offers to host parties from them.
As for inviting people one hardly knows to a party that has the primary purpose of bestowing gifts on the guest of honor, I’m of the opinion that if you couldn’t be bothered to socialize with these people on the more mundane occasions like a dinner party or backyard BBQ, you have no business inviting them to an event that expects them to be the bearer of gifts. I find it somewhat amusing when I get invited to showers or merchandising parties by people who previously couldn’t have been bothered to extend any hospitality to me. It’s as if money or the potential to increase one’s material possessions and assets greases the wheel of hospitality.