Ooops, I accidentally posted this yesterday. It was submitted last year hence the “Saturday, October 11th” date. I have no idea what “FMI” means.
Click to share:
Gimme Ghoul
Previous post: Etiquette Is Not About Drama
Next post: My Fake Fiance…Fake Wedding…Fake Life
{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }
Next Comments →
So I can rush to find a costume 3 weeks before Halloween, lug around food, AND bring you a present? Truely, October 11th is my lucky day.
Oooh, RSVP me. I’ll go as a REAL ghost (the kind you can’t see), bringing ghost food and ghost gifts (again, the kind you can’t see)!!!!
Sarcasm? You’re soaking in it.
Okay, graveyard picnics are odd today, but as long as everyone is quiet, respectful of the location and any mourners, I don’t see this as bad taste (the whole point of memorial parks is that it’s a nice place for families and friends to gather and visit).
THAT said…trolling for gifts? “Wear something festive”? Sounds a bit on the not-tasteful side…
What year? In 2010, October 11 was a Monday!
Wow, I feel ashamed to share a birthday with this person…
haha!! Was this a real invitaiton, or just a clever leg-pull for us?
Either way, think I’ll pass on attending this oh-so-festive soiree in a graveyard, in which I’ll be providing both the food and the gifts.
Ha ha, oh my goodness. The scary part isn’t that it’s a party in a graveyard, it’s the whole “Cater my party! Bring me a present!” thing the birthday person has going on.
I have nothing against people who choose to read, stroll and even jog or picnic in cemetaries. As long as you’re not raucous and, most importantly, not disturbing mourners, I think those are OK.
But this party sounds like quite the blowout. I’m picturing trestle tables with food and music. That’s a disturbance. All in the name of festivity.
Oh my…tacky. Which is a shame, as it looks like it might have been a cute Halloween-themed party otherwise.
This is a joke, right?!
Nothing wrong with a potluck party… but “bring me gifts?” That’s awful. I think people believe they are being funny when they send out stuff like that, but it’s just tacky.
My only question is why did they bother with the question mark? I think the answer is because they knew this gift grab was wrong and they were trying to soften the offense. Didn’t work. As my friend Lauren used to say, this is “tack” kwon do.
I RSVP No.
My RSVP would note “Dear Greedy Ghost Host: You’ll be receiving gifts over my dead body.”
What?????????? No money tree???????? No dollar dance????????
Graveyards used to be the place to go on a nice afternoon for a picnic with family but a party? and a halloween party? Too much. and the gift grab is not funny.
Wow! The nerve! Yes, the gift grab and “bring food to my party” are rude, but depending on the cemetery, the whole idea of a graveyard party would be a far worse offense.
I’m Catholic and we consider our cemeteries consecrated (ie, sacred) ground. It would be like having a birthday party in a church with Mass going on — very offensive.
Also, many cemeteries are not public property. The cemetery association owns the land sells parcels to the families of the deceased.
Several years ago, vandals went through the historic Catholic cemetery where many of my mother’s relatives are buried and pushed over many of the more ornate headstones. Many could not be repaired (or could not be repaired at an affordable price).I’m not saying that the OPs party would get that far out of hand, but I’d rather go for too much respect for the dead than not nearly enough.
There’s a reason many cemeteries are gated and locked at night.
(LovleAnjel) “as long as everyone is quiet, respectful of the location and any mourners”
HAH who are we kidding here. Any tact would have been bludgeoned by the etiquette hating demon which posessed the host to write this invitation in the first place.
This is…strange. Just…strange…
Is it a fun, wacky celebration? If so, why at the graveyard? What is festive food anyway (I’d have guessed Christmas pudding)? Why does everything have to be shouted at me (IT’S A POTLUCK!)? Why would you host a birthday celebration in a graveyard (One year closer to here, hurrah! I’m just DYING to get in! Get it? Get it?)?
I am most confuzzled…and a little bit afraid…
Forward My Invitation?? Maybe?
Potluck is fine, I’m usually happy to bring a thing to share to things, but I have a feeling that the question mark was meant to be an exclamation. Bleh!
Addendum: I think FMI means Fill Me In…
For More Information = FMI
I would politely decline.
The problem with having a “festive” celebration in a graveyard is that there may be real mourners present, who might find a bunch of costume-wearing revellers disturbing. Not to mention the time, 4 pm to “when the spirits chase us away”. I don’t know , but wouldn’t most cemetery rules include no visitors after dark? (And I hope this person’s friends are responsible, and wouldn’t damage tombstones or relieve themselves among them while attending. Unlike a public park, most cemeteries I’ve been to don’t have public washrooms.) It *could* work, but you’d have to know your guests and the way the cemetery is run.
I have no idea what FMI means though.
The FMI could stand for ‘For More Information’ as it is under the contact info, but I guess our birthday ghoul didn’t realize the meaning is kind of lost when put within a sentance “FMI and RSVP!”.
I didn’t really think it was in a actual graveyard but in someone’s yard made up to look like a graveyard. I think were calling this unfortunate party something like that to make it fun for Halloween.
Potluck if fine – honestly, I can’t prevent people from bringing in food even if I wanted to!!! But bring me presents??? The whole throwing myself a birthday party -(not done here in America) – especially where you are asking for presents like that – it is so tacky it’s scary!!!
FMI= For More Info? Please call to find out what kind of gifts the host would like you to get.
As if the invite isn’t enough to inform the guests what a gimme the host is!
RE: Party in a cemetery.
I know it is probably different depending on location but in my town I can think of three cemeteries where the last person buried was well over a hundred years ago. I’d like to think they are at least not planning on throwing this in an active cemetery that might actually have mourners. I’d like to think that.
LOL! TeamBhakta, I love it!
I was curious about the FMI… For More Information.
FMI is Forward My Invitation (maybe?)
Admin,
I think FMI means “for more information”. However, the invite says it all…
(1) FMI – For More Information. Probably is shorthand for “Call me for more information about what presents I want”.
(2) The “party” starts at 4 p.m.? Most cemetaries I know close at dusk (or dark) and the gates are locked. I wonder if “Birthdy Girl” was aware of this – before the party.
(3) RSVP? For a potluck??
“For More Information”, probably.
I highly doubt that a Halloween-themed birthday party in a graveyard is going to be respectful of the graveyard.
I didn’t get the impression, though, that it was actually in a graveyard–just that she was calling it that to seem spooky and add to the theme.
TeamBlakta: That was awesome!
I’m all for costume parties – usually the ones I’ve been to haven;t required me to bring a dish, and gifts are not required.
I think this is a tacky invitation where the sendee tried to make it look good by making cutesy invitations. I’d decline too.
(Pssst! October 11th was on Saturday in 2008.)
This just looks daft – three weeks before Hallowe’en in a graveyard? Buy a costume, a present and food?
Quel tightwad!
Not to mention that a party in some graveyards would be broken ankle land. The one near me is 800 years old!
There are a few small graveyards around here that someone might think was suffciently abandoned for a party in that they are not associated with a church, and in one case, surrounded by office buildings and a hotel. But someone still comes in to mow the grass and leave flowers, and would not be pleased to pick up party debris.
Call me square, but I don’t think reveling in the proximity of the graves of other people’s loved ones is cool.
Neither is throwing yourself a birthday party and asking for food and gifts.
I work at an historic/famous cemetery and half of our visitors are tourists. We do allow some social events but there are strict guidelines. In the past we allowed access after hours for a fee (yes, the gates are locked at 5pm) but we’ve cut way back on that. A party such as described in the invitation above would not be allowed. We still have burials and mourners on a daily basis.
We have a position called ‘Events Coordinator” who deals with film crews, tour companies etc. One of the biggest events used to be a fancy catered dinner put on by a local organization in conjunction with an annual film festival. This was always held on Halloween but it was not a costume party. There was usually a celebrity or two in attendance. I had to be the onsite supervisor on several occasions to make sure the guests didn’t misbehave. FYI; I’ve been in our cemetery at midnight on Halloween and didn’t see anything odd except some rich/famous people having an unusual dinner party.
Sooo, contact the cemetery for rules before planning a party, don’t expect your friends to bring the food and gifts too, and quit throwing yourself birthday parties.
I agree with those that said the party is not being held in a graveyard. My bet is someone’s home, most likely the birthday person since s/he seems to be hosting her/his own party.
The “bring me presents?” line automatically made me think it was said tongue in cheek. Half serious, half joking. Still 100% tacky to type that out!
Of course the party isn’t being held in an actual cemetary. The missing info is the location of the party and has been left off to protect the person’s privacy. If it said an actual cemetary name there would be no reason to omit that info. It’s likely, as others have pointed out, in someone’s backyard. The invite shows the cemetary to create a theme (in this case Halloween related). If you were invited to a “space” party with a picture of the galaxy as the invite – would you think it were really being held in space? LOL
I have to disagree with SHOEGAL on one point – many people in America throw themselves birthday celebrations. Happens all the time.
sneaking into graveyards after hours to party is a teenager activity. the above invitation is in poor taste.
@Jillybean,
Yes in general, I agree about the theme of the invitation does not necessarily meaning a real graveyard is involved, but I have been invited to graveyard picnics. If this were from someone in my circle of friends, aside from having some words with that person about tact and decorum, I would assume we would be meeting at the cemetery closest to their home.
No. Just…no.
I hope the writer of this invitation at least cringed a bit as he or she composed the part that began “bring me gifts?”
FMI is for more information. This is really tactless and tastless.
I originally submitted this. I would like to add that this was posted on a Halloween fans blog community, which meant the birthday celebrant sent it out to hundreds of people they didn’t even know. Now THAT’S scary!
I hunted down the original post to get more information, since I no longer have the uncensored invitation. It was posted in September 2008.
It doesn’t actually say where the party’s being held; it just gives a city and state, and a phone number and e-mail address for RSVPs. At least the ‘hosts’ (two are listed) had more sense than to post their address on a public forum. And it really was an open invite; it said, “I wish you all could come – but if you live in [state], you can!”
Yikes – open invite? Maybe it actually was in a cemetery – as I can’t imagine inviting a bunch of strangers to my house.
Many older cemeteries don’t lock their gates at dusk, because they’re old enough not to need a regular attendant. I used to compete in a Halloween-themed scavenger hunt wherein people raced through cemeteries in costume finding the answers to clues before speeding off to the next one. Of course, the organizers always got prior approval from the cemeteries, neighbors and local sheriff’s department beforehand, and anyone caught vandalizing/speeding/causing a disturbance was automatically disqualified. My point: you can certainly have some fun at a cemetery as long as it’s respectful, doesn’t disturb the surroundings and has prior approval. My guess is that this birthday party met none of those qualifications.
Next Comments →