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Parents And Their Obnoxious Videos

I am currently sitting in my favorite cafe. I come here once per week because my work schedule has me around the corner and the food is good. Tuesdays are my longest work day (about 15 hours, typically) and I only have 30 minutes for lunch. I come here to clear my head, have some peace and quiet and eat a quick bite.

There is a table across the restaurant that has two small children (ages 2 and 4, probably) that are watching a movie on their mom’s phone so loud that I cannot hear the restaurant music being played on the speaker directly above my head.

I have noticed an onslaught of this type of behavior recently. Apparently it is becoming socially acceptable to play loud and annoying videos in public, without consideration of others. What happened to headphones?? It’s not just children either, adults are plenty guilty. I’ve had this happen on airplanes, subways, restaurants and even in the gym. It’s so annoying and rude in my opinion.

Any thoughts? 1017-17

 

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I’d like to get other’s opinions, I’m guessing the community will be split half/half.

Recently my aunt’s mother died. As in common in the area I live in, the evening visitation is usually when people come in to pay their respects who knew the deceased, while the funeral is kept to mostly those who were close family and friends.

This time my aunt and her father were overwhelmed by visitors at the visitation. They, of course, were still reeling from the sudden death of their mother/wife, were very overcome with emotion, and began to tire from the visitation line that went on for hours. Finally at one point, they were both so overwhelmed that they left the visitation area and sought refuge in another room in the church, they just couldn’t do it anymore. What was most upsetting to them was that they didn’t know most of the people they were shaking hands with….and these people-strangers were making them upset with constantly asking “what did she die from?” and “was she in much pain?” or crying uncontrollably so that my aunt and her dad had to comfort THEM. Their leaving upset a lot of people though, who obviously had come to support them and offer their condolences.

A few days after the funeral, they sat down and looked through the sign in book and said that there was so many they didn’t know. While they agreed that there would be some people their mother/wife had known that they didn’t, they agreed there wouldn’t have been many since they all go the same church, and same civic activities (they all lived together, and only my aunt drove them places). My aunt’s father was so overwhelmed that he actually rewrote his will so that there would NOT be any visitation before his funeral.

So, what do you think? I’ve always thought of visitations as my way to go and offer support and let them family know I was thinking of them, but now I’m wondering if my presence should only be limited to those that I knew really well, and maybe just send a card to others that I wasn’t that close to. Did my aunt and her father have the right to leave the visitation when they became overwhelmed? Was there something else that could have been done to alleviate this problem? 0510-17

This is merely my personal opinion.  I do not attend funeral visitations unless I know the grieving family well or the deceased well.   I feel I show my respect and support when I quietly attend the funeral service itself.  In other words, I try to give those grieving some space in those days immediately following the funeral because I’m assuming that neighbors, family and friends are swamping them with support.   I then follow up with a card, a meal or something helpful a month or more later when everyone has left and things have quieted down.

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Peace And Quiet In A Hotel Room

I’ve been a long-time reader of e-hell but this is my first submission. My husband and teenage daughter and I do quite a bit of weekend traveling due to her competitive sports schedule, so hotel stays are a normal part of our lives. I do understand and accept a normal amount of noise associated with hotels, such as traffic, large groups of people, etc, but what we experienced last weekend took me aback and I may not have responded well.

First of all, this particular Saturday was a very long day. We had to leave our home at 4 am to drive the few hours to our destination city. My daughter’s sports activity was several hours long out in the cold and by the time we headed to our hotel to check in, I already had a splitting headache and was longing for a short nap before heading out for dinner with the team. After waiting 30 minutes in a line to check in,(a busy weekend in the city!) we finally get to our room and lay down. Immediately we started hearing very loud noise directly outside our room. It was doors banging and heavy objects being dragged about and even machines being turned on and off. My first thought was that housekeeping was finishing up with a few rooms in our hallway, and they would be done soon. After about 20-30 minutes of this, I opened my door to see a maintenance man dragging furniture from the room directly next door to the one across the hall. I said,”Excuse me, is there construction going on?” and he said, ”Construction? Yeah, there is construction going on.” (in a rather annoyed tone). He said he would be finishing up in an hour or so. I didn’t blow up or anything, but I did state that it was a bit unfair to pay $$$ for a hotel room that you couldn’t get a little rest in. (I know it wasn’t his fault, but who really assigns guests in a construction zone?) I probably should have called the front desk to complain, but as I knew the hotel was very packed, a different room assignment was probably not going to happen.

So I go back in my room, where my daughter tells me to relax, that they don’t expect guests to be sleeping at 4 in the afternoon. Point taken, I’m feeling a little bad at this moment, but we did pay for the room for the whole day, not just the night, and I think it’s reasonable to expect some level of quiet.

A few minutes later, the same maintenance man knocks at the door and curtly says that he is finished because “Guests need to be happy”. I thanked him and got a few moment’s rest before dinner.

Ironically, at 5 am our room gets a “Wake-up call” from the front desk (which WE did not order, as we had set our phones for a 7 am alarm). An innocent mistake? Or did this employee set us up for a bit of revenge? I had to laugh a bit as I left a note under the construction room door as we checked out saying “Nice job with the wake-up call – good one!” with a smiley face. 0828-17

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I’ve attended 4 weddings in the past 12 months. All were extremely expensive affairs.

Now, my own daughter got married a few years ago, and I informed her of the behavior I expected during the reception – namely, that she attempt to visit every table and speak to every guest. Not only that, but my DH and I also visited and spoke to as many guest as possible – including those we did not know.

Am I in the wrong – because at none of these 4 weddings did I witness any of this. At each of these weddings I was never approached by the bride, groom or the hosts. In some cases I did go to the bride and groom and offer my greetings, but in others there was never a good time to approach them as they were dancing or socializing with the wedding party.

This last wedding took the cake. It was an outdoor wedding. Temperature at time of wedding was over 90 degrees, and only seemed to get hotter as the night went on. As soon as the ceremony was over and the cake cut, special dances and speeches over – the bride and her bridesmaids disappeared into the air-conditioned facility (where no guests were allowed) and I did not seen them again.

The groom did circulate some, but the parents of the bride did not.

I used to love weddings, but now they just really upset me with this type of behavior. I’m sure brides and groom will say – there were too many people, we couldn’t possibly speak to all!! Well, my answer to that is to have a smaller wedding.

Am I unrealistic in my expectations?  0806-18

No, you are not unrealistic in your expectations of how hosts and guests of honor have an obligation to , at minimum, greet their guests and thank them for coming.   Receiving lines used to be the standard way in which this was accomplished but the practice has fallen by the wayside as too formal and time consuming.

But, honestly, what do you expect when the wedding industry pushes the idea that this is the bride’s day, family and friends must cater to her every whim, and huge guest lists go hand in hand with invitations that clearly state a preference for money?  Guests are simply a means of acquiring more assets and once that exchange has occurred, the guests’   usefulness has been fulfilled.

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