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The Christmas Car

This happened the first or second year my husband and I were married. We got married very impulsively only a few months after we met, and I didn’t know his family well. Initially I thought they seemed really, really great. His mom was (and often is) a really, interesting person and his dad is a musician. As I got to know them better, I started to see some of their bad sides. His mom has an ugly temper, and his dad can be pretty inconsiderate.

Initially, both sets of parents wanted to make it a point to celebrate Christmas together. This particular year, my parents hosted. My mother-in-law, Sandra, showed up before my father-in-law. He was going to be late because he had to pick up my husband’s brothers from the airport. As we waited my mom, brother, husband, Sandra and I made small talk. We heard my father-in-law, Chris, pull into the driveway and my husband made a beeline outside to see his brothers. He went out through the garage door, and almost immediately turned around and came back inside. He was very troubled. My brothers-in-law came inside ahead of Chris. They too were upset. My husband privately told me that while his dad was on his airport run, he’d gone to a car dealership to pick up a new car to “surprise” my mother-in-law with for Christmas. He’d even sprung for one of those giant bows.

To give you some backstory: cars have been a huge, HUGE source of conflict between my in-laws for most of their marriage. My FIL loves a new car every other year or so. They’ve always had to live on a tight budget and the accompanying car payment has always been something that’s helped pushed them into living beyond their means. I knew this because my MIL mentioned it often, in relation to the fact that for the first time ever, they were within six months of paying of their car. The car my FIL had just traded in for a brad new car, complete with five years financing. My husband and BILs were not looking forward to the eruption that was sure to happen when my MIL discovered my FIL’s “surprise” that, given the history, was clearly NOT for Sandra but for him.

Sure enough, it wasn’t long before Sandra saw her new “present”. To say that she freaked out would not do her reaction justice. She was absolutely furious, and she let loose on Chris in front of everyone. Eventually they moved it into the garage, where she screamed at him for 45 minutes while the rest of stood around awkwardly, having our cocktails and waiting to start Christmas dinner. When she finally came in, it was awful. She was still clearly irate, and was barely able to disguise her fury at Chris. I’d like to say Chris was sheepish, but mostly he seemed mad that his gift wasn’t received the way he wanted. She made passive-aggressive (or, frankly, mostly just aggressive comments) to him throughout dinner while he kept saying, “I SAID I’d take it back. I TOLD you the dealership would let me return it for a week or 300 miles. I’m going to do it tomorrow. SORRY” It would have been uncomfortable enough if it’d just been me, my husband and BILs. But my parents hardly knew them and they had no idea what to do. My family isn’t very demonstrative (we might be just a teeny, tiny bit repressed in fact) so this blow out twenty minutes before Christmas dinner was not something they were very equipped to handle.

Needless to say, there was not much socializing after we all finished eating. Sandra apologized for making everyone uncomfortable, although she was still very clearly angry at Chris. My FIL didn’t apologize for anything. (I would later learn this is characteristic of him: either act like he did nothing wrong or defensively apologize in a way that makes it clear he doesn’t actually think he did anything wrong.) My parents have mostly avoided socializing with my in-laws since then (tellingly for my family, they mostly blame my MIL for her reaction, but that’s probably a totally different Etiquette Hell submission). My husband told me later that my FIL deliberately debuted the car at my parent’s house because he thought Sandra wouldn’t freak out in front of people she didn’t know very well (wrong!).

That Christmas will go down as one of the most memorable, but not in a fun way. 1213-12

Your poor husband.  To have grown up with two self absorbed parents who only think of themselves.   Chris is a disgustingly selfish manipulator and Sandra has no control over her emotions even when she knows that the situation has been manufactured to avoid her predictable explosion.     Had I been Sandra, I would have excused myself (assuming I could barely contain my emotions) and gone to the bathroom to get control over myself.    There is no way on earth I would have given the expected reaction but oh, the conversation I would have later in the privacy of the car or my own home.   Drama, anger, screaming, and other displays of heightened emotions very rarely have the effect of resolving the heart of the matter. It’s merely cathartic and while there is nothing wrong with a good cathartic outburst, the luxury of doing so must be reserved for your own home turf.

The Bump On The Log Guest

A number of years ago I ran across a most puzzling social situation that continues to leave me baffled to this day. I had recently become friends with a gregarious woman I met at work. Although we didn’t work for the same organization, we’d run into each other around the building, and after a number of fun interactions, we struck up a fast friendship.

It may have been a bit too fast, however, because I immediately started having reservations about this lady. She was laugh-out-loud hilarious, sure, one of the many things that attracted me to her, but she was also INTENSE. The first night we went out and did something outside of the office she was already making plans for the two of us to go on holiday together. I’m a real “slow to warm” type, so I was a little taken aback by her general intensity, but got over it and chalked it up to her being just that – generally intense. Around this time she began working for another organization in another building, and the move did our burgeoning friendship good – at a bit of an arm’s length, I really enjoyed her company.

We had seen each other for a couple of coffee dates and dinners when my annual autumn party rolled around, and so I added her to the guest list. I knew from having gone to restaurants with her that she was a VERY picky eater (just the basics, no seasonings, no, um, taste) and so I planned accordingly. I had a buffet set up with a giant dish of stew, garlic mashed potatoes, salad and crusty bread, as well as a drinks bar – serving both alcoholic and non-alcoholic libations – but in the kitchen, just for my new friend, I had squirreled away some “stew without the stew” (translation: just the beef from the stew), a bowl of plain greens and whatever else I could find that was plain, plain, plain.

My friend was the first to arrive. She came in, played with the fur kids for a bit and seemed in good spirits. I gave her the rundown on the menu and told her that if she’d prefer, I also had a secret stash of goodies for her in the kitchen. She said she was good. I offered her a drink. She said she was good. Water even? Nope, she was – yup, you guessed it – good.

Not too long after that all of the other guests arrived and we got down to the serious business of eating. Everyone, that is, but my friend. Because as everyone had arrived and done the greetings thing, she had thrown herself into a chair…and that’s where she remained. As people came in and I began making introductions, she remained seated. My other guests actually had to go up to her on her throne and bow down a bit to introduce themselves. When I called everybody to the table, she remained seated. “Hey,” I gently inquired on one of my passes by the chair,”Everything okay? Would you like something to eat? How about that drink now?” She said she didn’t want anything and stayed seated. My parents, who were in attendance, kept casting puzzled glances over at this seemingly sullen woman who just refused to engage with anyone. The other guests began picking up on the weirdness, too, when the two hour mark had passed and she had not ONCE left the confines of her chair.

I tried to get her to play nice with the other kids a number of times, but I eventually gave up and decided to let her be – and ultimately, let her be forever. We’re not friends any more. But for the rest of that night, until I drove her home after the very last pleasant guest had left (a ride during which she was warmly chatty,) she remained seated in that damn chair, barely saying a peep to anybody and eschewing all offers of food or drink. It was SO WEIRD. During one of the last occasions we saw each other, I asked her about that evening – had she had a good time? “Of course!”, she chirped.  “It was so nice meeting everybody.”   Truly some of the oddest social behavior I’ve ever seen. I still have no explanation for what happened that evening. 1023-12

Bowling Over Guests

I have a bit of a dilemma. I received an invitation from a coworker in my work mailbox. The envelope was handwritten with my name, “Please no gifts!” and “The party will be right after the Banquet for Team X” (One of our teams had won an award for a project, so the higher-ups are throwing a banquet the whole department is attending on Saturday.)

You’re Invited!
Baby Boy’s Birthday Party
Local Bowling Alley
Date Time
$9.95 per person
Includes: pizza, drink & shoes

I generally don’t hold with charging for a party – but it is at a bowling alley. Is that a reasonable amount (I have not been bowling in ages)? The last time I threw a bowling alley party (ages ago) I paid for the shoes, lanes, and 3 games up front, and bought pizza and soda as people got hungry. Perhaps bowling is now too expensive? It’s unclear where the money is going – are they buying all the refreshments, and we just pay for a lane and shoes? Do they collect all the money themselves? What if the bill was less than anticipated? I don’t see us eating much pizza after a full banquet meal.

And making this RIGHT after the work banquet makes it harder for someone to decline without raising an issue, since it’s a Saturday and we will all be there anyway. I can’t tell if they are being convenient or are actually being rude. My instinct is not to go, since I find a door charge for a party rude, but my husband thinks this is reasonable.

I hope you or the commentators can clear this up a little for me. Thanks!  0402-12

I reread this a few times and it appears the work related banquet is NOT at the bowling alley but merely scheduled earlier in the same day as the bowling party.

My opinion on these types of parties is that they really are not parties but rather opportunities to go do some activity at each “guest’s” expense.   Invitees aren’t really guests as they are being required to pay for the party and their own food.  There is nothing indicative of a gracious host/hostess when guests are required to fund the entire party as a requirement of accepting the invitation and attending.   If the recipient of such an invitation really isn’t in the mood to go bowling, decline the invitation.   If one chooses to decline the invitation, do so without explaining to the host/hostess what the reason is.

Scheduling a bowling party on the same day as a work banquet really sets up the hostess for failure since that is a lot to ask people to spend a day off attending a banquet and then a bowling party and she may have expectations of a larger number of people accepting than is reality.   I just hope she’s not too disappointed with the turn out.

The Silent RSVP Means “No, I Am Not Coming”

It’s one of my pet peeves.  I spend a lot of time planning a lovely occasion for my friends and invariably there are a few who could not be bothered to respond to my invitation leaving me to wonder exactly how many guests I should expect to feed.

Miss Manners has a few choice words for people who ignore an invitation:  “Silence is an insult, not a response.”

Every Christmas season I host a small lunch for about 6-10 female friends.   I create a beautiful invitation which is mailed 3 weeks in advance of the party.   Many hours are spent planning a menu, shopping, prepping and cooking food, cleaning my house, setting the table yet someone, sometimes several, forget to respond to my invitation leaving me in a quandary as to how many places to set and how much food to prepare.   I find this dilemma very stressful and I’m a seasoned hostess!  The thought of setting the table for 6 people only to have 8 show up makes even me tense!   And this forgetfulness is not limited to my holiday luncheon but to dinner parties, BBQs, throughout the year.

So, this year I hit upon a solution even my husband, the true etiquette guru, approved of.   After setting an RSVP deadline in the invitation of 2 days before the event, and noting that two individuals had not yet replied, I waited until the evening before the party and sent each of them this email:

Dear XXXXXX,
We’re going to miss your happy presence tomorrow at my annual Christmas lunch! I know how busy this season can be and I hope your holidays are exceedingly pleasant and enjoyable.
Merry Christmas!
                  Jeanne

Hosts and hostesses thought well enough of the guest to extend an invitation to share in their hospitality but in failing to courteously respond to an invitation, the guest does not show a reciprocal “well thought of” attitude towards his or her host/ess.    I gladly spend much time entertaining but I don’t have a lot of sympathy for people who can’t be bothered to pick up the phone or email me their regrets or acceptance.

We should view RSVP silence as a definite “no” and reinforce this through communication that takes control of the situation and confirms to the guest that we understand their intention to not come.   Any thought that they could wait to last minute or simply show up is nipped in the bud.   And it makes sense.  When a guest RSVPs in the affirmative or negative, I respond back with either happy acknowledgement of their planned  attendance or regrets that they will not be able to join us.  A new third option is to pro-actively acknowledge that my silent guests have also made it known they will not be attending either.

Addendum: This type of proactive confirmation of guests’ non-verbally stated intentions to not attend an event is not new for us. My husband often does phone call the day before a much larger function to express his regrets that we will miss seeing the invited guest or when someone calls literally hours before the function to RSVP they are coming, he’s the one taking the phone call and politely telling them, “Oh, I am so sorry! When we did not hear from you, we made our plans accordingly and it’s much too late to change them. Perhaps we’ll enjoy your company next time!” He’s quite cheerful when he says this.

What was new was this was the first time I applied this, via email, to my silent Christmas lunch guests. One guest promptly replied back that she had been sick and was still sick with an infection of which I was aware of by viewing her Facebook statuses. But I figured if she had the strength to get on Facebook, she was equally strong enough to shoot me a little note telling me she could not come or that perhaps she was a “maybe”. The second guest’s email bounced back as undeliverable but she did not attend either. Never heard a peep from her.

I have no problem with “maybes”. I had one such “maybe” as the mom was trying to arrange childcare. She was able to find care and contacted me a day or two in advance of the party to affirm her invitation.

As for silent guests showing up unannounced, I think too many people have fallen for the myth that etiquette exists to make everyone comfortable in every circumstance. There are definitely situations where the goal should be to make the rude person as uncomfortable as possible. If one has five guests that RSVPed they will attend and you set the table with six places (one for you) and an unexpected guest shows up, rearranging the table to add another chair and another place setting isn’t likely to happen too discreetly in my house and unless the guest is an obtuse clod, the effect won’t be lost on them. In this case, there were to be six of us for lunch so I made six creme brulees the day before. Had a seventh guest shown up, someone would have gone without dessert and that probably would have been me. I made a great show of burning the sugar at the table with my little butane torch and believe me, *everyone* would have noticed there were only six, not seven, brulees.

It’s Thanksgiving And You Should Be Grateful I Have Invited Myself To Dinner

My husband and I decided to invite two friends over for dinner. (I should note that these two friends are former partners that have been broken up for about two years. They often fight and push each others’ buttons but have followed my request that “you can fight with each other until you walk through my door then it must stop”.) The day and time was set. I had purchased all the ingredients for what I thought would be a dinner everyone would enjoy. We have previously had both people for dinner and holiday meals and both say they love my cooking. I was in the kitchen preparing dinner and my husband was entertaining one of our guests (Guest A) when the other guest (Guest B) called. He (Guest B) wanted to know whether or not I would be serving wine with dinner. I did not plan on serving anything with alcohol because both parties had to drive to work after our meal. Guest B decides that he no longer wanted to come to dinner. I continued to cook and thought, “His loss.”. Guest A walks into the kitchen as I am just about to start serving our dinner and asks if I can make Guest B a plate. Guest B had called Guest A, not me, to ask for the plate. At this point I’m a bit upset but rather than make a scene I said yes. Guest A says that he needs to take the plate over to Guest B before we eat because Guest B had to go to work. Again, to not make a scene I said fine and prepared a plate. So, while Guest A takes the plate I fixed to Guest B and our dinner is getting cold I let my husband know exactly how upset I am about this. He was not pleased either. My husband has since had a discussion with Guest B. It went along the lines of, “If you can’t be bothered to come to our home for dinner because we are not serving alcohol do not call and ask for a plate to be brought to you. You are free to bring your own beverage. My wife is not your personal chef and will not ruin everyone else’s dinner”. We have not invited Guest B over for dinner since.

Here is my new dilemma. Guest A and Guest B spent Thanksgiving with us last year because we are all very far from our families. Guest B has invited himself to our home for Thanksgiving dinner. (He made it very clear last year that he was getting “plates from a bunch of people” [while I was still cooking!] but still asked to take some home with him.) I’m not sure I want to deal with all the drama he causes but I don’t want to be rude either. I cook the entire meal by myself from scratch. It’s a lot of work. But it’s work I would be doing anyway. I love to cook and my holiday menu is something my husband looks forward to every year, as do I. I just want to have a drama free Thanksgiving. Guest B already assumes he is spending Thanksgiving with us and has said so, without an invitation from my husband or myself. Is there any way to tell him that he is actually not invited without my husband and myself looking like jerks? Or should we just deal with him for the holidays?  1119-11

I can’t fathom why you entertain two people to dinner who must be warned that a ceasefire is in effect in your home.   A good hostess arranges her guest list to include people who will make delightful dinner conversationalists and will interact pleasantly with other guests.   Anyway….

Pick up your telephone and inform Guest B that you cannot accommodate him for Thanksgiving this year as you have other plans.   You are under no obligation to tell him what exactly those plans are and if he asks, he’s a boor and you are well within your etiquette rights to deflect answering the intrusive question.   Well, let’s face it, he’s a boor through and through and unless he’s related to you by blood or marriage, you owe him no hospitable obligations to continue entertaining him.