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Tag: Entitlement

Veruca Salt Sighted On A Bus In Canada

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Have I got a whopper for you! Yesterday afternoon after a long day at work I managed to get a seat on a very crowded city bus. I have an app on my cell phone for the game Bejeweled that I like to play sometimes so I can zone out for a bit on my commute home. I settled in and pulled out my phone and began to play a game with the sound option turned off so I didn’t disturb anyone around me.

A short while later a man and his little girl, she looked to be about five years old, managed to get into the two seats behind mine (remember, this bus was extremely crowded and available seats were few and far between). The girl was in a sour mood to start off with but I couldn’t really blame her, it was so cramped in there!

After another minute or so she started to whine, “Dad! I want that. I WANT that!” At first I didn’t pay any attention and just focused on my game. Then she got even louder. That’s when I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her dad and he said, “My daughter wants to play with your phone.”

Just like that: a flat out statement. He didn’t even bother to phrase it like a question. I stared at him for a few seconds and said, “Excuse me?” To which he replied, “My daughter wants to play that game on your phone.”  He made a jabbing gesture toward my cell with his index finger and looked at me expectantly, like it was obvious I should just hand it over to her.

“No, I don’t think so”,  I replied, and turned back to my forward-facing position. She started complaining again about how unfair I was being and he tapped my shoulder again, a bit harder the second time. “It’ll only be for a few minutes. It’s a kid’s game anyway!”,  he grumbled.

I turned back to him and said straight out, “Kid’s game or not I’m not giving her my phone.” To this she started wailing at the top of her lungs and her dad stared at me like he wanted to punch me.

Again I turn back to facing forward in my seat and tried to ignore them. “Why is she being mean?!”, the girl cried. Her dad responded with, “I don’t know, Honey, some people are just really rude.”

Thank goodness my stop was only a few streets away at that point. I couldn’t wait to get off that bus!   0920-11

I just love (not) how crass, rude people redefine rudeness to be any behavior or action that deprives them of what they want by entitlement.

Veruca Salt, for those unfamiliar with the name, is a child character in the book and movie “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” who demands that her father give her whatever she wants, regardless of who owns it.

The Faux Pas Writing On The Wall

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I had been friends with a woman we will call Lisa for almost 17 years. Although she was not known for being the most polite of people. The last incident resulted in me distancing myself from her and eventually terminating the friendship.

Lisa was pregnant with her second child by an abusive husband. I was worried for her but she seemed confident and happy with her decision so I tried to show as much support as possible. Lisa threw herself a very extravagant baby shower (guests were mostly friends of her mother in law and a few co-workers) which I was not able to attend due to work (I was a divorced mother of two small children).

After the first baby shower, Lisa complained that there were “too many old people there”. I was a bit confused at this since she created the guest list herself and was in full control about who could and could not attend. Nevertheless she felt the need for a “girls night out shower”. I quickly set about putting this into motion.

I put together a small guest list (about 6- 8 people) because I did not want to re-invite people that were in attendance at the first baby shower, I thought that would look very greedy. Two of the guests were pregnant as well and I set about trying to find a fun but mild atmosphere where they would enjoy themselves. I settled on a cozy little restaurant with top rated food and a live jazz band but that was in a very nice part of town that would not attract a rowdy crowd. I also inquired about the food preferences of all the guests (numerous times) to ensure this restaurant offered something they would like. ( I know how funny the taste buds of pregnant women can be). The grand tally for what ended up being 4 people (two simply did not show, even though I had already paid for their food and drinks) was just shy of $700.00. I assumed the mommy–to–be would have a nice time….I was wrong.

The day of, was a barrage of complaints. Her husband dropped her off and she wanted to know why we were in the quiet side of town as opposed to the party area, although I sent her the extensive menu of things to choose from for our prix fix menu, all of a sudden she did not like the selection. When she finally made a choice, she complained that the portions were too small. She did not like the band. The music was too loud. The waiter irritated her. She wanted to know why the other guests did not show up. She didn’t like her gifts. At the end of an exasperating dinner, when her husband came back to pick her up, she complained that she just wanted to go home and do something fun. She gave a halfhearted “thanks guys” and drove off. I never received a Thank you card.

Needless to say, that friendship is over.

That the mother-to-be hosted her own shower was the writing on the wall that the OP either didn’t see or didn’t take seriously.    There is a saying among horse people that the horse that kills you has warned you first.  We should have a similar saying such as, “The Gimme Pig that eats you out of house and home while urping with ingratitude has warned you first.”     Looking for suggestions, readers.

Lisa sure is one unhappy person to be that miserable about other people’s generosity.

But, But…My Tan Is Far More Important!

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I work in the evidence office for a local police department. When we recover items from a burglary, it is my responsibility to call the rightful owners and arrange a property return. Upon recovering a stolen camera and purse, I looked up the case number for the original burglary and called the phone number listed for the victim. Much to my surprise, the mother of the adult victim answered, and attempted to arrange a time for her daughter to pick up her belongings. Unfortunately, it is against our policy to make arrangements through a third party, and I requested the daughter’s phone number. The mother hesitated, informing me that her daughter was “only 23 years old” and was spending time with her friends that day, but eventually gave me the number.

I called the adult daughter and arranged for a property return for the following day. I advised the woman of what she would need to bring to establish ownership of her items, and requested that she call at least an hour in advance if anything came up that conflicted with her appointment. This is necessary due to internal movement of evidence — between locating, pulling, and checking out an article of evidence and making a notation on the chain of custody, it becomes very time consuming to put it back into evidence if the owner doesn’t show up for an appointment.

Five minutes before the scheduled appointment, I received a phone call from the woman. She informed me that she had to cancel, but desperately needed her items before the weekend. Frustrated but still willing to work with the victim of a crime, I requested the reason for her cancellation while I scoured my schedule for even the smallest opening during which I could return her items. That is, until she informed me that she was canceling our meeting due to a conflicting tanning appointment. She then demanded that I keep the entire police department open an extra hour so that she could make her tanning obligation and pick up her camera before her trip to the beach that weekend.

I am proud to say that I very politely informed (without any indication to my slightly twitching eyelid) her that there was no available appointment until the following week. Needless to say, she made her appointment with me and picked up her items. Not without very loud protest verging on a tantrum, but she kept our appointment. 0612-11

Bitter About The Critters

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When I was a child, my parents took my brother and I on a trip west. What I remember most about that trip (aside from my Father getting Lyme disease and being sick as a dog) is Yellow Stone park.

Yellow Stone is one of those famous parks that everyone has heard about and seems to be a major destination for all families. But it’s particularly famous for its wildlife. We were in an Inn one evening (again, supposed to be camping, but my Dad was sick) and my Mom allowed my brother and I (age 12 and 10 respectively) to go walking. We decided to go on a small nature hike. We stopped along the road to simply view the nature and take pictures. All of a sudden, a car pulled in behind us. My brother and I were a little frightened- we were young kids and suddenly strangers were approaching us.

“Where’s the animals!?,” the driver asked us. A bunch of people- mostly kids- piled out of his car.

“The animals?,” My brother repeated blankly.

“Yeah, where’s the animals?,” the man repeated, pointing to the mountain we’d just been viewing.

Then, all of a sudden, two more cars pull over behind him. My brother just finishes telling the first man that there are no animals when all the drivers from these cars leap out, saying things like, “Where’s the bear? Do you see a bear? Do you have your binoculars? Where are the animals?”

The man from the first car calls to the others in a dejected voice. “There’s no animals! False alarm!”

A woman from the same first car, presumably the man’s wife, walks up and starts to scold us- that’s right, perfect strangers, about how wrong it was to pull a ‘joke’ like that. (My brother and I are both thinking, “Joke? What?”) She tells us that “they paid good money to come here and show their kids the animals, and by jolly we’re going to see the animals in this park!” My brother and I stared at her, afraid of this weird stranger, as well as the now growing crowd of people, as well as the slowing traffic, now dozens of people hanging out their car windows, looking up at the mountains, trying to spot an eagle or a bear or a mountain lion. Who knows what might have happened? Thankfully, my Mom thought we’d been gone rather long and came to see what was happening.

My Mom asked my brother what was going on. The woman butted in and told her that we’d been pointing to the mountain in attempts to get people to pull over. My mother asked why people would pull over and the woman’s husband explained, “For the ANIMALS of course!” My mom turned and asked us what we’d been looking at. We told her we wanted to get pictures of the mountains for Dad (he didn’t get to see any of the park, and we wanted to surprise him).

My mom smiled and took us by the hands, saying we’d taken enough pictures today and we turned to leave. The woman yelled something after us, which I cannot remember exactly, except that it was rude- along the lines of “control your children”.   Mom didn’t listen. She took us back to the Inn, gave us a brief lecture about walking along the road instead of taking the children’s trail-which is where she thought we were going. We weren’t allowed to go out by ourselves during our stay at Yellowstone anymore.

My favorite thing about this memory is my Mom’s behavior. She didn’t apologize to the lady, nor did she turn when the woman shouted that last statement. She kept her cool and had the grace to walk away. I guess it’s another one of those situations people thinking they are entitled to the best experience possible.

Before we left, we actually did see a bear- and a bunch of idiots who were walking up close to it with their cameras. We called the park ranger  but didn’t stick around to see the gruesome result. 0202-11

Ehell Rule #4,356 – It is not rude for bears to eat rude park tourists. Nom, nom, nom.

Oh, Porter! Porter! Take My Bags!

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MIL, DH and I were in Hawaii to attend a family function. MIL is from Hawaii and DH was born there. DH is half Japanese (on his mother’s side) and half Hawaiian (on his father’s side) so he looks like a local. Especially when he’s been in the sun for a while. Keep this in mind.

Since gasoline on the island was horribly expensive, MIL rented a car that everyone could carpool.  We spent a little over a week in Hawaii and had a wonderful time. Our flights returning home were a few days apart since DH was deployed to Japan at that time and had taken leave to come to this function. MIL left first, leaving us the rental car to return the next day when DH took his flight back to Japan.

The day of DH’s flight, we go to return the rental car. The rental car lot is pretty big. Once you park your car you have quite a walk to get to the building to return the keys and get your bill. Once DH and I park, he begins to take the bags out of the trunk. While he’s doing this, I’m standing next to him taking the bags as he hands them to me.

As we unload, another car pulls into the lot and parks a few cars down from us. A woman gets out, pops the trunk and takes a huge suitcase out along with a shoulder bag. She sees me and my husband and walks towards us, dragging her luggage behind her. She stops right in front of us, drops the shoulder bag at my husband’s feet, looks him in the eye and says, “Take my bags to the office.” With her tone of voice I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had snapped her fingers when she made this statement.

After we pick our jaws up from the ground, DH tells snobby lady, “I don’t work here. I’m returning my rental car.” He turned his back on her and we walked away.

It must have taken snobby lady a while to get to the office too since we didn’t see her after we turned in the keys. Those bags did look really heavy. Hopefully she learned that the world isn’t at her beck and call.  But I doubt it! 0128011

It’s bad enough that the snobby woman wrongfully assumes the storyteller’s husband is a porter for the car rental company.  The most audacious part of this story is the woman’s selfish presumption that her need to have her baggage carried to the office takes priority over the storyteller’s ongoing interaction with the alleged employee.  What on earth possesses someone to think they are so special that they can interrupt someone else’s transaction and redirect the employee’s attention to their wants?   When I sold high end patio furniture eons ago, I had a few customers who rudely and arrogantly would interrupt my conversation and sale with another client to get me to focus immediately on what they wanted as if the other customer simply did not exist in their little universe of one.    That’s when I learned that saying, “I’m sorry. I cannot accommodate your request at this time”, was the most effective means of stifling such people.

Addendum:  Don’t bother submitting comments that rant about the snooty woman’s alleged racism.  I will not be approving them.  The OP makes the case that her husband is part Hawaiian and therefore could be presumed to be  “a local” and we have no idea what the race of the snooty woman was.   Since the OP doesn’t include that she herself is of the same racial heritage as her husband, it would appear that snooty woman’s behavior of looking right through her as if she did not exist in order that her terse demand took precedent indicates this was pure selfish entitlement.