Pets – Page 2 – Etiquette Hell

Doggydoos And Don’ts

July 10, 2014admin163 Comments

Here’s a question for the Ehell readers and administrator: What does a hair stylist do when a client brings in their pet AND expects you to allow that pet (usually a dog) inside? I’m a stylist in Southern California, and a lot of people bring their dogs with them on a leash, in their arms, in a purse or a stroller (you read that correctly.) I have had clients accuse me of not liking pets (not true, I adore animals, just not in my salon) or suggest I was cruel for asking them to keep their dog outside, or come back when the animal is at home.

I understand that there are salons meant for dogs… But they are held at a different level of sanitation and do not work on humans. In a “human” salon, we have lots of chemicals (that may have dripped on the floor) that can kill your pet, and frequently serve beverages/snacks to clients. It is also a place to come to relax, and you can’t do that if you are allergic or afraid. For some reason, clients think that it’s okay to bring their dog in as long as it is small, even though the coffee shop and restaurant we are next to would never dream of that. What’s worse is some stylists ignore the sanitation factor and LET THE DOG IN because if they didn’t they wouldn’t have made money from the client. Really? What if you dropped a hot curling iron on that dog in the person’s lap? We certainly don’t drape the dog to be protected from that. Since when is this okay? I’m the youngest one here and I think it is absolutely rude to other customers and me, because I will not allow this in my own chair. What can I say to clients or co-irkers who want to break this rule? Something nice sounding, as I don’t want to offend my customers. 0529-14

Readers? I’m sure someone is far more witty than I am this morning. But OP, do realize that no one matter you phrase it, there will be people who will still be deeply offended that their furbaby cannot accompany them to the salon.

The Neighbor And The Dog

May 1, 2014admin148 Comments

A little back story before I get to the etiquette question. Earlier this week, I got a call from animal control saying one of my dogs ran onto the sidewalk, barked at a woman jogging by, then ran back into the yard. Animal control just verified that I need to keep my dog on my property, and move my electronic fence if I need to. No problem, this dog is 7 months old, and still learning where the fence is. My fiance and I don’t leave them in the yard, they only go out to potty, when they’re outside for extended periods I’m always right there with them. I watch from the window while they make potty, but at this instance, my fiance wasn’t watching them. He tells me he heard the puppy barking, so he went to go bring him in.

We’re continuing to work with him on learning where the fence is.

Yesterday, I had just left my house driving to work when a woman I’d never met who was jogging by started wagging her finger at me and practically jumped in front of my car. I rolled down my window, and she curtly asked me if my dogs were in. I was relatively confused, but I told her that they were. She then proceeded to tell me that she called the police because my dog left the yard, and that he barked at her and she screamed at the top of her lungs.

At this point, I introduced myself, because this situation seemed so odd to me.

I explained that the fence is on, but that the dog is young, and still learning where the fence is. I mentioned that the dogs do make a lot of noise, but they are not aggressive.

She seemed very worked up/angry like she was looking for some sort of argument with me, but I was too confused by the interaction. I’m not sure why she wanted to talk to me directly when she had already talked to the authorities. Which was entirely fair, my dog left my property, she was in the right to do that if she didn’t want to speak to me directly.

I asked her if she was afraid of dogs, and mentioned to her that there are quite a few dogs in the neighborhood that leave the yard. She said no, she has her own dogs, she seemed mostly upset because my dog is a doberman. In all fairness, he can’t help that, he was born that way.

This made me more confused, quite honestly, since dogs bark. All the neighborhood dogs bark. Still, they are absolutely not legally allowed to leave the property without leashes. That is entirely my bad (or technically, the fiance’s bad). I’m doing everything I can to keep my dog in the yard. It’s difficult with runners or fast animals, and believe me, I don’t want my dog to leave the yard; he could get hit by a car.

I was off to work, so I said my goodbye at that point.

The etiquette part comes in here: how do I interact with this neighbor in the future? She seemed disproportionally angry. Do I smile and wave? Do I gun it and fly past her next time I’m driving by? I tried being pleasant and explaining that I was trying to take care of the situation, but that didn’t seem to make her happy, which makes me think it’s better to try to pretend I don’t see her in the future? 0429-14

1. Thank God she is willing to talk to you since this is an opening to resolve the issue without it being further escalated to government authorities.
2. Do not diminish your neighbor’s perspective that your Doberman is aggressive. The dog came running to her, off its property, barking and most people would consider that an unfriendly act at minimum.
3. Don’t blameshift to other people’s dogs. The issue is your dog’s behavior. Yes, dogs bark for all kinds of reasons but the issue is that your dog ran to her barking in a manner that was perceived to be aggressive. That is much different than the neighborhood dogs having a barking convention across the yard fences.
4. I don’t think you accepted full accountability for not restraining the dog’s actions but rather seemed to explain them which was not assuaging your neighbor’s angst.

I would have apologized profusely without explaining myself because the bottom line is that while you are usually vigilant in watching the dogs outside, this time you or your SO were not and an incident happened that resulted in the police being called. And when you see her the next time, say “Hello” and ask her if there have been any further problems when she goes running past your house. This will convey to her that you 1) take her seriously; 2) you are pro-actively addressing the problem; and 3) you have an interest in solving a neighbor problem in an edifying manner that benefits you both.

Aggressive Dog Play Is Not “Playtime”

March 5, 2013February 15, 2013admin82 Comments

I have a husky that me and my fiance decided to get last year and our local pet supply store does an event once a month for low cost health care. Some of the money raised goes to the rescue that does adoption events there every weekend so we decided to take our husky puppy to this event for vaccinations to help them out. At the time our puppy was still small small enough that I could still carry him in one arm.

My fiance was out of state when the event rolled around so I took our puppy by myself. After signing in I decided to go outside and wait with everyone else next to the large veterinary van.

After a while, a little girl and her mom came up and asked if they could pet the puppy so I gave him some slack on his leash and let him wander over to them. She knelt down to pet him right as her father and another man that I guess was her uncle walked up behind her with a large German Shepherd. I have no issues with GSDs but this dog would have made less understanding people terrified of them. It was a male as big as most adult shepherds I had seen, yet I heard him tell one man that it was only 4 months old. The dog ran right up to the little girl, pushing her over on the sidewalk and grabbing my pup by the back of his neck. The girl hadn’t even noticed the dog was near her until then and began screaming for her mom to “make Daddy’s dog go away”. My husky was doing his best to run towards me with the German Shepherd still hanging on and growling loudly and I was completely blanking on what action would be best to do. The mom thankfully stepped in and told the man to take the dog back to the truck. He laughed at her, but pulled his dog back with a hard tug on the leash and walked away across the parking lot.

I grabbed my pup up and checked him over for any bite marks but thankfully he was just coated in drool and shaking. I decided it would be smarter to move in case the men and the GSD came back so I walked in the opposite direction of the men and sat down with my back against the store near some shopping carts. Sure enough, the men came back with the GSD in tow. My husky tried crawling in behind me to hide as the dog lunged forward to the end of his leash, growling aggressively again. By this point my puppy was whimpering behind me and the men laughed, commenting in broken English that he was just “playing” like he did with their Chihuahua at home. They kept on walking though and went in the store to look around. A few of the other people waiting for vaccines came over and told me they would try to help if he came back. One woman went to track down the manager of the store to ask what could be done about the dog since her own child was cowering behind his father’s leg.

After several minutes, my pup had gained some of his normal rambunctious attitude back and was running around as much as his leash would allow and hamming it up for the adults that had come in around us when the men came back out and let the GSD have the full length of his leash. My pup was pinned to the ground with this large dog over him, yelping in fear while they laughed at him and continued to try and tell me the dog was just playing. The dog’s growls got louder and I debated giving him a kick to get him off my pup since the two men were not going to do anything about it and my puppy was actually starting to whine in pain now. Thank God for people like the man that came in then though because he grabbed the dog by the collar and pulled him off my husky long enough for me to grab him up and move out of the dog’s reach. I admit I lost my temper then and told the man that his dog was not playing at all and if that’s how the dog played with the Chihuahua, he’d have one less dog before long. The man just laughed at me and continued to insist the dog was just playing so I gave up, told him I didn’t care what he wanted to call it, I didn’t want him or his dog near mine again or I would call animal control, and took my dog back inside to sit near the registers with the employees until the vet was ready for me.

The dog could have hurt the little girl when he rushed up to her to get to my husky and he could have seriously hurt or even killed my puppy. I can understand if you are there for vaccines or healthcare, but if your dog is that aggressive, it should be crated or muzzled while there. I spoke to the vet while I was there and she said they would talk to the store manager about having the dog banned from any further events held on the property. I didn’t go back to another to find out if they followed through. 0214-13

Some men use aggressive dogs as an extension of their own personal aggression to intimidate others. When the dog goes too far, the blame is then shifted to the dog being bad rather than the owner.

Where I live, an attack by a dog on another domesticated animal is assault and it is illegal. The theory is that a dog that is willing to aggressively attack another dog, cat, livestock is dangerous and is not safe around people, especially children. You, by extension of your dog, were being attacked by two men using a German Shepherd as their main accomplice. Even if the incidents did not result in bodily harm to the puppy, the act was one of establishing dominance by means of aggression. After the first incident, the puppy should have been crated or removed to your vehicle and you call 911 to report an aggressive dog. I do not normally advocate a knee jerk response to call the police as the answer to every dilemma but in this case, you and your pet were being threatened by a lethal weapon that was being mishandled by its owner. It’s like someone sloppily waving around a hand gun claiming they are just having “fun”.

Even Fur Babies Can Be Badly Parented

August 16, 2011admin130 Comments

Repost if you love your pet…..but don’t care for your guests

There is a Facebook status that I am seeing pop up frequently amongst my on-line “friends”. Due to the nature of the post, I have been hesitant to comment back to these people for fear of offending, but I’m sure I’ll be safe here amongst etiquette-loving friends. I’m sure you’ve all seen the post before (those of you who are Facebook users), it’s goes something like this:

TO NON-PET LOVERS who visit our homes and complain about our pets. 1) They live here, you don’t. 2) If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it ‘Fur’-niture. 3) Chances are, I love my pets more then I like you. 4) To you, they are animals.To me, they are my babies and family … who are hairy, walk on all fours & don’t talk back and don’t judge! Re-post if you love your pet.

So, here is my response:

1) No, I don’t live here, but you have invited me here as your guest and, as such, should be aiming to be hospitable and make me feel at ease – not make me feel like I’m in the way of your cat.

2) See number 1). And maybe think about giving the place a little clean-up.

3) Well, why did you invite me here, then? I think I’ll just go and leave you to your pets and then we’ll all be happy.

4) If your actual babies barked at me from the second I entered the door and then proceeded to bite and scratch at my legs, you would probably stop them – wouldn’t you? You want your children to grow up being respectful adults that other people enjoy being around, why would you not want the same thing for your “hairy babies”?

Now, I’m no great animal lover, but I’m definitely no animal hater, either. I do understand people’s love and affection for their pets, but the joy of being a host and having guests in your home is to make them feel comfortable and to enjoy their company – not to stand them in a corner so as not to bother your precious pets.

I work as a community nurse, visiting new mothers in their homes to check their babies. This is a free service that mothers volunteer to undertake. I do not appreciate those families who allow their dogs to jump all over me, stick their nose in my bag and lick my hands. I’m here to see your baby, and now I have to go to another home to see another newborn baby with your dog’s lick all over my leg – now, that’s not very hygienic or fair on the next family, is it?

In short, if you can’t be bothered to try and make your home an enjoyable place for guests, don’t bother inviting them over! 0810-11

Just as there are bad parents who let their darling little Fufus get away with entitled murder, there are bad pet owners who don’t teach their pets any manners and feel that the world should revolve around their furballs. Their pet can do no wrong and so bad behavior like licking, jumping up, barking, etc. are all condoned so that Fluffy The Special Snowflake Dog doesn’t get his feelings hurt.