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Tag: Tipping

Tipping On The Bill Total Or What You Think The Value Of The Food Is

admin122 Comments

I am a middle aged American woman and I took my daughter off for a short vacation during her college break. On recommendation, one night we went to a live dinner performance that was themed around the medieval period. We ate at tables surrounding an arena where “knights” jousted and engaged in sword fights, complete with horses, dramatic music and lighting. The performance was engaging if a little cheesy and I’m glad we went.

The dinner was pre-determined: we chose a (soft) beverage but everything else was a set menu of soup, roast chicken, some sides and dessert with coffee. The beverages and food were doled out from common pitchers and pans by “serving wenches” (gotta stay with the theme, I guess). The food was basic but pretty good. There wasn’t any real individual attention from the wenches, other than to ask if we wanted refills of beverages or coffee at appointed times.

The etiquette situation arose at the end. At the start of the dinner the “serving wench” went through some announcements about what wasn’t included in the tickets, which included gratuity. Since the “wench” was much more along the lines of a food runner than a waitress, I had thought that she was an employee in the same category as any other employee. OK, I didn’t mind slipping her a little money. I was a little shocked at the end of dinner when everyone was given a tray with the explanation that tips were customary along with suggested tipping rates. Apparently I was expected to tip 15-20% of the ticket price (about $110 for two tickets, although I got a slight seasonal discount). In other words, I would have tipped the same for a nice dinner that cost $110 in which the waiter provided individual, attentive service as I did for someone whose job was to dole out pre-selected food from a communal container. (The food was fine but definitely not worth $110 on its own). In addition, there was no real way to leave a tip other than cash as far as I could tell. I doubt that all of the people at such a performance had the kind of cash that they were expected to leave, at least comfortably. It was really an uncomfortable situation for a few moments to be essentially told “OK, you laid out $100 but you need to leave another $20”. (I ended up leaving $10 on the grounds that I would have tipped about that much for a comparable restaurant dinner. Plus, it was almost all the cash I had).

So: what is the etiquette situation here? Should a person expect to tip that much under the circumstance? Or was the facility presumptuous? I would much rather have paid a little more up front with the understanding that the gratuity was covered. (We still had a good time, but the tipping situation bugged me a little).

(FWIW the website probably mentioned somewhere that gratuity wasn’t covered, but I still wouldn’t have thought I was supposed to tip on the basis of the full ticket price, since the cost was largely to cover the performance rather than the food as I understood it). 1021-16

It’s been my experience that you tip on the total bill, not what you consider to be the actual cost of the food because it is nigh on impossible to speculate as to what the actual costs would be.   I’m surprised the venue has not commenced with gratuity already added to the bill to avoid this.

Don’t Complicate Other People’s Lives Unnecessarily…Pay The Freaking Tip, Dude!

admin153 Comments

This just happened today and I thought I’d send it in to see what the E-Hellers thought! I already have a prediction about the opinion split but will keep it to myself until the results are in 🙂

I work in an office of about 14 people. When I started last year, we were only 5 in this particular office and we got into the habit of going out for lunch together on Thursdays. Now that we’ve more than doubled our headcount, we still keep to this tradition. We work in a rather hipster part of town…old factory buildings, a lot of low-rises, beautiful exposed brickwork and smaller spaces. The restaurants also mostly independent and there are almost no chains. Lunch is harder with so many people. We rarely all go out at once but generally, we have between 7 and 10. Advance reservations are a must.

Service charges are fairly common in our area for a group of our size. The number varies; some restaurants add an automatic tip for parties larger than 6 (rare), others for 8 or more and yet others for 10+. At today’s restaurant the magic number happened to be 6. We were a group of 8. The waitress was pleasant and there were no complaints about the service. The bills arrived and of course, a service charge had been added. We weren’t told about it (not when we made the reservation, not when we were seated) but I believe it was printed somewhere on the menu. I say “I believe” because even though I didn’t notice myself, that’s standard practice. Most of the group didn’t bat an eyelid; we proceeded to pay our bills. One member of the group didn’t like being told how much to tip. To add geographical context, we are in Canada where he has not lived for long. He hails from Eastern Europe. He is not against tipping and I haven’t known him to be a poor tipper but the “automatic” part of the service charge really got his goat. He complained only to be told that it was restaurant policy. He asked to speak to the manager (who I know is also the owner) and was told that she wasn’t there. The waitress offered a business card saying he could call her. He did. The phone rang in the restaurant bar right behind us. At this point, a senior colleague took over and after a discussion, presented a new bill having redacted the gratuity. The waitress asked whether the service had been unsatisfactory and my colleague assured her that it had not; he just doesn’t like being told how much to pay for discretionary amounts. He was about to settle the bill but checked the total more carefully and realized it wasn’t correct. He asked for another bill and one was presented, this time with the correct total and the assertion that they weren’t trying to rip him off.

On re-reading, I can see how bland the text sounds even though I’ve listed events as they occurred! Therefore, I will give some additional insight. The waitress was polite enough through the transaction if a bit curt. This was probably through stress rather than rudeness. Another colleague later reported that she was close to, if not in, tears after we left. My tip-shy colleague was also not rude or abusive. He merely stated his point. He did actually leave a tip but one that he added himself. I believe the mistake in his bill was a genuine one but by then tempers were frayed and the confusion only added to the unpleasantness of the whole thing.

I’m not sure what to think! On one hand, service charges are expected for large groups. It’s a(n irritating) reality of the world we live in. On the other hand, I support his right to not have arbitrary charges added to his bill because the restaurant feels he will stiff the waitstaff. I believe the law states (I haven’t been able to find proper confirmation anywhere) that if the customer is clearly advised before hand, service charges are legal. It’s a bit unreasonable to expect that a customer will read a menu from cover to cover before ordering. Many restaurants I know will advise the person making the reservation of any service charge.

In any case, we’ve learned our lesson. In order to avoid a scene for the rest of us in the future, we will be sure to resolve this issue before we go to lunch with him!   0929-16

I’m of the opinion that none of us has a right to complicate other people’s lives unnecessarily.  Your co-worker, despite his calm demeanor, created drama and unnecessary work simply for the right to determine his own amount he was willing to tip and having wasted time, emotions and more drama, he ended up paying what he would have paid in the first place.   In essence what he did was make an issue of “how” the tip was derived, i.e. the process, and not the end result.    So, in order to satisfy his personal need to have control just so he could end up at the same conclusion, he complicated life for the waitress and his co-workers.

“Bellini! Bellini!”

admin107 Comments

A few years ago a friend and I were going to visit the city where she was from on a long weekend. My brother and his wife lived there as did a lot of her friends and so we decided to have a dinner out as a group. There were about eight of us, it was my birthday and we went to what was known as a great casual pub/bistro. Since it was my birthday my meal would be free and we were planning on having a few drinks too.

After being seated we noticed that it took a long time for our server to come to our table. The place was busy but well-staffed and we began to notice other tables that had come in after us getting their entrees before we got our first round of drinks.

We soon figured out why when we saw our server (who had finally brought our drinks) doing shots at the bar. She returned to our table a while later to take our dinner orders and she knelt down at the head of the table, propped her elbows on the table and began to take our orders. This was new. I’ve never had a server kneel on the floor before. She was in a skirt and the floor wasn’t what I’d call spotless but maybe I’m being a germaphobe.

My brother mentioned that it was my birthday and she said that yes, my meal was free.

Dinner was fun for the most part. Our server went to the bar and did a couple more shots and we were all a bit amused and annoyed by her because we had each only had one drink at this point and we were the customers.

When she brought the check to us we realized that she had charged my brother the full price for my meal. He waved her over and asked her to please correct it. She argued that no one had told her that it was my birthday but she huffed off to fix it.

The service was so bad that a couple of people just drew sad faces where the tip amount was supposed to be. We all believe in tipping and most of us over tip but this was beyond bad service.

We left soon after and, as we were all walking down the street, we heard a woman shouting, “Bellini! Bellini!”, over and over. We turned to see what was going on and were baffled to see our server running after us waving a slip of paper in the air. She told us that she called us Bellini because that’s what a couple of us had been drinking.

She was waving the incorrect check with my meal at full price and telling us that we hadn’t paid for it. A few of us started to explain that that was the one with the mistake and that she had fixed it and we had paid the correct one. She was adamant that no, this was an unpaid bill and that we needed to pay it. Finally I told her that I would call her manager to make sure that her register balanced and that I would cover anything that we hadn’t paid for to get her to stop shouting.

I did call her manager. I called him to let him know that he had a drunk server literally chasing his customers out the door. Not one of us ever went back there but we’ve all laughed about this a few times over the years.    0605-14

The Newspaper Carrier’s Triple Tip To Tip Him

admin105 Comments

On January 20th, I received a THIRD letter from my newspaper carrier soliciting for a holiday tip. An excerpt from the letter:

“Those customers who have not done it yet and those who are still in the process of sending me their warm wishes are kindly requested to do so at your earliest convenience (and preferably before all the New Year sales are over for my shopaholic wife!!!!)”

It seems that somewhere around the time that teenagers who delivered the paper to your doorstep and collected payment from the customer personally were replaced by adults who drive by and throw the paper in your driveway (if you are lucky) and collect payment electronically it became OK for carriers to send holiday letters informing customers where they can send a holiday tip. While I find it rude for anyone to even suggest they are due a tip or gift, I’ve come to accept this tipping practice as standard, at least in my area of the country.

But for a carrier to send THREE such letters pressuring customers for money (two before Christmas and this one well into January) is blatantly crass in my opinion. My trash collectors, postal carrier, hair stylist, house cleaner, and babysitter did not send me such letters. Why is it acceptable for a newspaper carrier to do so? 0122-13

 

It’s not acceptable.  It’s blatant begging.   When someone so conspicuously demands a tip,  I begin to wonder if the level of standard service I should expect from them will decline in quality as a form of retaliation should I fail to tip.