Several years ago, when I was a Sophomore in High School, I joined the the school newspaper. At the end of the school year, it was tradition for the entire staff (around 10 people) to go out for a celebratory lunch. We usually chose a local restaurant, as there weren’t many to choose from in our small town. Unexpectedly, the restaurant we had chosen to dine at that afternoon was unusually busy for a weekday afternoon.
Our server, a man who appeared to be in his late 20s, had several tables to attend to. Consequently, the service was slow and a few of our orders were messed up. He was very apologetic, and we were all very understanding. None of us minded an excuse to return to school later than planned. As we finished up our meals, our server thoughtfully apologised again for the slow service and offered us free dessert. We were all very thrilled and a few of us went ahead and ordered a slice of pie.
It was at this point that our advisor, the Seniors and several of the Juniors announced that they had to leave early. They left money for their meals and promptly exited, leaving all of the Sophomores and one lonesome Junior at the table. After finishing our pie, the server gave us our bill and we all got our wallets out. It was then that we realized that those who had left early either left no money for a tip, or didn’t even cover the cost of their entire meal. Those of us who remained scoured our wallets for money and dug for change. The bill, almost reaching $100, was covered, but we could only pool $10 for the tip. We felt awful, but were mostly angry at the upperclassmen who had left us in the situation.
As the five of us walked out of the restaurant, our server met us at the door. As we turned to look at him, he began by saying, “Listen, I know the service wasn’t that great.” One of the Sophomores started to reply with, “That’s okay!” when the server cut her off, and said, “But 10% is a really shitty tip.” All of our eyes widened, and we shuffled out of the door, embarrassed and shocked. Yes, we understood he deserved a better tip, especially for the free dessert, but it wasn’t as if we’d left nothing. After all, tips ARE optional. And even though he wasn’t aware of our predicament, why assume we were trying to be “shitty” and jump straight to a verbal attack? What did he think he was going to accomplish by approaching us like that? Because all he did was steer us away from ever dining there again. Oh well, maybe that was his intention. 0827-10
There are going to be long time fans of this site who will wonder if this is a story submitted to troll for very adverse reactions. Had the story contributor not only given her name but granted the right to use the story on TV and radio as well as her phone number to contact her, I might have been inclined to agree.
Down to business {cued to the sound of Miss Jeanne cracking her knuckles}…
You all were aware that the tip was insufficient and that the waiter deserved better. Knowing this, you had an obligation to take the initiative to either quickly figure out a plan to compensate him further (like someone running to an ATM machine while the rest wait) or approach him first in a very apologetic manner explaining the situation and offering a plan to compensate him. Here’s how that conversation would have gone:
“Waiter, there is a little problem. It seems that some members of our party that left earlier did not leave sufficient funds to adequately compensate you for your service. What we now have collected in no way reflects our opinion of your service but we feel a need to make some kind of arrangement to give you more for a tip. Will you be working here this week and if so, what days and hours so that I can drop it off while you are working? If this is not feasible, is there an addrss I can mail you money?”
And then you bust your backside to make sure you follow up on getting that additional $5 or 10.00 to the waiter within the week because your integrity, honesty and self respect demands that you won’t rest until you keep your word.
Addendum: It should go without saying that the waiter was rude. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to see the faux pas in this. However, often my emphasis I will take (and have taken) on this site is to address how we should respond to these etiquette blunders without making the situation worse or engaging in our own etiquette goofs. Had someone taken the initiative to quietly approach the waiter to explain the situation, offer apologies and address the need to fully compensate him for his services, there would have been no reason for the waiter to react as he did. It’s pro-active good manners to defuse a potential problem before it occurs.