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Tag: Cow-irkers

OK Jokes Are Not OK At This Time

admin69 Comments

I am from the town of Moore, Oklahoma. I was born and raised there, and moved away when I was 21 years old. My entire family and most of my childhood friends still reside there. I visit multiple times per year, as I am very close to my parents and will sometimes spend close to 4 weeks per year there. In other words – my hometown is still very dear to my heart.

I live in Texas now. For those that do not know, there is a rivalry going back many, many years between Oklahoma and Texas. This applies mostly to college sports, but it also extends to just general hostility towards one another.

I’ve always thought this was all a bit odd and have never gotten into the rivalry that much – although if forced to choose, it would definitely be my home state. All throughout football season, the jokes around my office are endless and I’ll admit, it get a little old. I take it in stride and just secretly relish the Oklahoma victories in sports.

As most of you know, a massive tornado – the worst tornado in recorded history – hit my hometown of Moore, Oklahoma this week. The devastation is beyond anything I can even describe. I personally know of 3 dozen people from my home church that have lost their homes. The tornado came within just yards of my parent’s house. And these are just the people that I personally know! All in all, 13,000 homes and businesses were destroyed or severely damaged. The worst part of course were those that perished in the storm. This included 10 children that lost their lives. This community has been devastated by this storm.

A girl that I work with is an avid University of Texas football fan. I’ve never quite understood this, since she has never attended college and don’t know why she would have such a loyalty to the school. Her jokes about Oklahoma are constant. I choose to play along during the year with her jokes. I just smile and nod and continue working (I don’t have any Texas jokes to reciprocate and honestly even if I did, I wouldn’t want to egg her on).

Since this terrible tragedy, her jokes have not only continued, but escalated. They are extremely inappropriate and offensive. She is kind of a cut-up at work and wants to make everyone laugh and have an atmosphere of fun. Maybe to my other co-workers, these jokes ARE fun. However, to someone that has just seen the closest people in the world to me barely miss being killed by a massive tornado, these just aren’t funny.

In my opinion, it’s disrespectful.

Jeanne, what do you think? Do you think that her joking is inappropriate at a time like this? Should I ask her to please stop?   0524-13

The next joke, you fix her with a serious, mournful look and say, “Co-worker, people died in Oklahoma. There is a time and place for joviality but now is not that time.”   Turn and go back to work.  Ignore her and if another co-worker facilitates her jokes with, “HAHAHAHA! Did you hear that?”, you reply, “Hmmm? What?  Did she say something?  I wasn’t paying attention.  Do you have the reports I requested last week done yet?”

I’m sorry your friends and family have had to endure such a tragedy.   Ehell has made a donation to the American Red Cross for Oklahoma disaster relief.

 

Any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated.

Cow-Irker Commentary On Lunch Food

admin70 Comments

I need help with dealing with some unsolicited comments that have gotten out of hand in the office kitchen so hopefully the EHell readers have some neat solutions for me to try.

Our office kitchen is quite small and often a couple of people will be hanging around making meals at the same time. Generally conversation is limited to ‘that looks nice’ or ‘that smells good’ for the sake of politeness but lately this one man, who I do not work directly with or even know the name of, will come in and start commenting on other people’s food.

It started off general but now he has started to editorialize a bit, saying things like, “Why do you always have to be so healthy?”, or,  “Is that all you are going to eat?” Recently he told me that my egg salad sandwich, veggie sticks and mixed salad didn’t have enough protein in it and I shouldn’t be eating a plate full of carbs.

As someone who enjoys healthy food and is very conscious of what I eat I find his unsolicited comments annoying, invasive and rude but I can tell he’s just trying to make conversation. I feel compelled to be polite and end up trying justify all my meals to him to make him go away. Is there any way I can avoid having to verbally deconstruct my meal when I’m just trying to prepare it? 0224-13

This falls into the category of “letting it slide off my back like water off a duck”.   My ego and self perception is not intrinsically tied to what I eat and therefore negative comments about my food have no impact whatsoever on my state of mind or comfort level.   I would ignore his comments totally since they have no bearing on whether I would eat my lunch or not.  Engaging him in any way would have the effect of encouraging further comments but no response, how defensive you feel, will have send the message that you are not interested in discussing the contents of your meal with him.   Unless he is utterly obtuse, he should eventually get the message since it is pretty hard to have a one way conversation.

When A Co-Worker Has Bad Body Odor

admin68 Comments

I was approached today at work as a senior female in our area to talk to the female trainee about her smell.   The male staff senior to me would not handle this situation very well.

I am not sure how to approach this with sensitivity.  I had thought about just putting deodorant in her draw and hoping she would take the hint? The trainee shares an office with another worker, who has not complained, but the rest of the office can smell the body odor up the hall way.  She always has clean cloths and her hair looks washed.

We do live in a very warm climate, however our offices are air conditioned.

Any Advice please? 1029-12

First, this is a private matter about a person’s body odor and hygiene which is unfortunately become a workplace problem impacting the work environment for others.   Your discussion with her needs to be in private.   The only thing your fellow employees need to know is that the problem has been addressed.  They do not need the gory details of what you said, what the exact problem is or how you resolved it.    By being tactful and discreet, you build trust not only in her but other workers as well.

Two, keep the discussion on topic, be straightforward and assure her that it has nothing to do with her job performance but how she physically presents herself is  related to the company dress/appearance code which violations of can affect employee morale and client interactions.   (If your company does not have a dress code, you need to create one and implement it).

Three, offer possible solutions.   There are deodorants on the market such as Secret Clinical Strength and Degree Clinical Strength that are targeted to heavy sweaters with unusually strong odors.   If I remember correctly, there are even prescription strength deodorants a doctor can proscribe.  Be open to the idea that it may not be her underarms that are the source of the odors.   Yeast or bacterial infections in private areas, behind the knees, the mouth and the top of the butt crack can give off an unpleasant odor and can be remedied with over the counter product such as Gold Bond Medicated Powder or mycostatin creams or powders from the doctor.   If she seems amendable to finding solutions, perhaps have a few samples of the aforementioned items ready in a pretty basket or bag.   It might even be her laundry detergent!   I once used a particular brand and scent of liquid detergent that made the clothes have this smell that reminded everyone in the family of stale urine with a slightly sweet yet ammonia scent.  Our clothes smelled like rancid, old pee!   Ditched that bottle of detergent!

Four, treat this like any other infringement of the dress code and set a time limit for correction of the problem.   If your company has a disciplinary policy for continued infringements, you need to follow those procedures up to and including termination if necessary.

Her Water Broke Right On This Very Spot Just To Annoy You

admin75 Comments

Recently when at a local shopping center with my 2 children aged 6 and 10, I came across a young woman who was extremely pregnant and looking distressed. Upon asking if she was alright or needed any help, she replied that her waters had just broken!

Sending my kids to a play area (only a few meters away and in sight at all times) I helped the woman to a bench and went to a shop to ask for security (who must have first aid training and may be able to help) and a cleaner to come down. After talking with the lady (Who I will call R) I found that her husband had recently passed away in a car wreck and her baby was her first.

Security called for an ambulance and arranged for R’s car to be kept safe until someone could collect it for her. They couldn’t have been more helpful.

However, the cleaner arrived and immediately started making snide remarks about pregnant women, single mothers and the extra work that R was causing him! As if R wanted to go into labor in public.

As he was complaining R’s contractions started and came on hard and fast. I asked if there was anywhere R could go for some privacy until the ambulance got here. The hospital was 35 minutes away and I was told (and this is a direct quote), “If she wants privacy she should just go home.”  If she could I dare say she would have!

However the contractions were 2 minutes apart and I was quietly asking the security officer if there were any doctors nearby that could help.

Poor R was facing the likelihood of giving birth in public, in a shopping center and with no one qualified to help and a cleaner who had then started to yell at her for making a mess (unintentional as it was) and threatening what he would do if she, “…had that little bastard there and causes more work!”

Fortunately security took the cleaner away before anything else could be said (or done to him be some irate passers-by, who just kept passing by R). The ambulance arrived and took R to the hospital where she safely gave birth to a lovely little girl. I have received a lovely thank you letter from not only R but her parents as well thanking me for being the only person who stopped to help R when she really needed it. I am still asking myself, “Why I was the only one?” 0608-11

Flushing Away Those Little Etiquette Dilemmas

admin108 Comments

Today was just horribly weird. It involves me, my co-worker “S” and another girl “M”. lately my co-worker “S” and I have been noticing that there seems to be an appalling lack of bathroom etiquette lately; specifically, our co-worker “M” has recently started having ten minute conversations on her cell phone IN THE STALL.

We normally ignore her and quietly go about our business, but today was a BAD DAY for me. I rushed in the bathroom during a break in a long meeting and threw myself into a stall, and froze like a deer in the headlights when I suddenly heard her phone ring. She answered it. She started jabbering away, while I desperately tried to be…erm… ladylike. I was dying. I didn’t want to “disturb her conversation” but for all that is holy why on earth are people talking on their cell phones in the bathroom? Do you know where you are?! How are you not embarrassed about sitting on a toilet talking in the bathroom to your friend/husband/vendor? Really? Does he think that strange echo is feedback? Is the flushing sounds your new ringtone? WHAT IS YOUR DAMAGE!

*deep breath.

As I am sitting there, trying to convince my colon that it wasn’t being punked by Asthon Kutcher and that the bad lady wouldn’t notice a thing (because she is talking too loud and is too self absorbed) my friend “S” comes in the restroom. She suddenly exclaims, “OP, are you still in here? The break is over and they are waiting for you.”  I felt the blood drain from my face, and stammered something incoherent. At this point, “M” starts talking again to the person on the phone louder because apparently “S” is making too much noise. “S” laughed when she realized why I was frozen to the seat and then walked into the stall next to me and starts flushing the toilet over and over again. This finally had an effect on “M”, who suddenly goes, “Sorry it got loud in here, let me call you back”.  She then proceeds to burst out of the bathroom stall and fled the bathroom. “S” cracks up and then tells me, “I will tell them you will be a few more minutes,” and leaves the bathroom. I sat there stunned for a minute, and then was finally able to get back to the meeting.

All through the meeting I couldn’t look at “S” in the face. We were somewhat hysterical all day, and avoided each other until our shift was over. As I was walking out to my car “M” approaches me in the parking lot and goes, “I just think you should know, your friend “S” is the rudest woman I have ever met,” and she flounced off to her car.

Maybe. Or maybe she is a Genius.    0826-11