Feel Good Mother’s Day

by admin on May 1, 2016

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Pushy Teen

by admin on April 26, 2016

My husband and I had a run in with a teen on Saturday that had us scratching our heads for the rest of the weekend. My family and I decided to go to the library this past Saturday. A kind older woman held the door for us and we went in with my 4 year old holding my hand, and my husband holding our 2 year old’s hand. The lady followed right behind us as there were no other patrons. We approached the double inner door and my 4 year old pushed the door open. As I started to come through a teen tried to power walk out. He dodged around my 4 year old and was seeking to push past me. I was very shocked because all five of us, my 4 year old, myself, my 2 year old, my husband, and the older woman, were only about a pace apart. Not nearly enough room to try to get between us all to leave. The bigger shocker was that the exit side was completely empty, no body was going in or out the exit side of the double doors. Since there was no way this teen was going to get past us without having to bodily push someone out of the way, I put my hand on the door and told the teen that we were all coming in, that the door next to us was empty, and that he should use that door. He muttered something I could not hear and moved to the other door, and left. The woman behind us busted out giggling. My husband and I are still shocked by his behavior. 0425-16

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Feel Good Passover – Rube Goldberg Seder

by admin on April 22, 2016

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Which Way Do We Roll Has Been Answered

by admin on April 20, 2016

The debate over which direction a toilet paper roll should hang has been ended. I give you the original 1891 patent application drawing….

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I will preempt the anti-swearing crowd by saying that while I swear occasionally, I try to reserve it for the various computers I have to work with. So unless you are a computer or step on my foot, you probably will never hear me swear.

I was leaving an appointment and decided to go into a sandwich shop down the street for lunch. As soon as I walked in, I noticed something amiss. The guy behind the counter was exceptionally… enthusiastic in greeting me. There was another man standing at the counter. The poor sandwich maker said, “I have to make this lady’s sandwich, sir. I’ll see you later!” The man at the counter then proceeds to try engaging me in conversation while I’m giving instructions to the young guy so I can have my food.

I quickly realized why the employee was trying so hard to get my attention. The creepy man at the counter apparently wouldn’t leave, the employee couldn’t walk away, and the conversation was… inappropriate. He was going on and on with increasingly offensive and disgusting topics that seemed to center around spiders. I can’t entirely get into details as it was gross and I will not repeat his disgusting behavior online.

Suffice to say, I was put off almost immediately and the poor sandwich maker had been stuck there for who knows how long, listening to this awful topic, unable to outright tell the man to go away for fear of losing his job.

I, however, had the luxury of telling the creep off.

“Dude! What is your problem? No one wants to hear any of that!” I shouted at him. I then turned away and back to the employee, who seemed relieved.

The creep stopped… until I left the counter.

“Hey, I’m real sorry. Didn’t know the topic offended you. I just…” and he started right back up with it.

Now, I am not a big woman, but I can hold my own in a fight if necessary, and I also carry pepper spray, which I quietly got out of my bag while putting my wallet away. I wasn’t completely scared of him. But this was harassment, and it wasn’t okay. During this time, three more people walked in, one of whom was a cop (but I honestly hadn’t noticed right away). The two women who came in could hear him and were clearly disgusted.

“What part of ‘NO’ didn’t you understand?” I shouted back. He smiled and continued to talk about the topic. So I started swearing. A lot.

I don’t know why, but people don’t seem to take me seriously until the swearing starts. This got not only the creep’s attention, but that of the cop who escorted him out (and eventually me to my car as Mr. Creep was hanging around).

After the scene ended, one of the ladies came up to me.

“I know he was being inappropriate, but did you really have to swear so much?”

Of all the things that she could have said to me, she wanted to bring up my language to a creep who wasn’t backing off. I had no words for her. When I didn’t immediately apologize for my language, she harumphed off to another table.

Oh, and when the manager found out, he gave me a gift card that has gotten me a lot of free sandwiches since. 0414-16

I have no issue with confronting creepy, harassing people in public but I would have done it slightly differently than you.   There are a series of steps that escalate the response if the previous step is ineffective.   I would not have started off by shouting but rather a very firm command to cease the offensive activity.  Shouting comes a step or two later (although the caveat is that shouting is perfectly OK as a first step if there is physical contact).   I’m not adverse to using an iphone to record the behavior either.

It has become a sad reality that, culturally, people do not take issues seriously until the use of vulgar words is employed.   The f-bomb has become an extreme type of adjective that modifies a noun.  A person isn’t just an asshole, which should be bad enough of an insult, he’s a f*cking asshole.   I’ve wondered why we have morphed into this type of communication because when I was a child and teen and probably into my late twenties/early thirties, it was rare to hear the f-bomb used in public discourse.   It’s very common now with people thinking nothing of dropping a plethora of swear words into everyday language.   Have we become people who believe no one takes us seriously unless we use words to strongly emphasize what we say not just in confrontations but in everyday communications?   And where do we go when the worst of swear words is so common that there is nothing verbally left to shock and awe?  Raising the voice?  Getting physical?

OP, I just don’t think you realize that your reaction was considered by bystanders to be just as inappropriate in its content as the topic of the man’s diatribe at the counter.   He was talking about gross things,  you undoubtedly used swear words that are vulgar representations of excrement and sex.  Instead of having one person’s course language to hear, customers in the sandwich shop now had two.   Your interaction with the man did get the attention of the police officer who,  I very much suspect, entered the fray to put a stop to public disorderly conduct between two people.

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No Horsing Around When It Comes To Smell

by admin on April 18, 2016

I love this site and have spent many a free hour enjoying (and cringing at!) the many stories.

I don’t have a story to share today, but I do have a question that’s been bothering me for a while.

How do I tell my friend that she smells really bad?

I’m 25 and she’s 18. I’ve known her since she was 13, when through a mutual riding instructor friend, we made arrangements for her to come ride my horse after school and at weekends as my time was taken up by studying and work and my horse’s fitness was suffering for it. She’s an excellent rider and she needed a more challenging horse than the ones at her riding school.

Over the years we became good friends. She’s a brilliant, funny and intelligent girl with a heart of gold. I only started noticing how bad she smelled over the past year, as we’ve started meeting each other socially away from the equestrian center – to go out shopping, to the cinema, out for drinks (she’s of legal age to drink in the UK, I promise I’m not giving alcohol to a minor), etc. I don’t know if she’s always had an odor problem and I’ve just never noticed before, since we were usually around horses and farm animals, which don’t exactly smell pretty themselves, or if it’s something that’s just started happening to her (perhaps hormone changes due to adolescence?), but it’s a very pungent, sickening smell of stale sweat and dirt that is only becoming worse.

I find it difficult to eat when she’s around, and I try to avoid being in closed spaces with her. Other friends and a few family members that have met her have noticed her smell too, and the general consensus is that she needs to know she has a problem. I’ve even had to wash my cushion covers and spray down my sofa with cleaner after she’s visited my house, because the smell has clung to the fabric. I know that sounds quite mean and picky, but the smell is THAT bad. Friends have refused to go out with us once they learn she is coming along too, but I really like my friend and I refuse to stop being around for her or inviting her to social occasions just because she has a problem that she’s not aware of. The smell doesn’t effect her wonderful personality, and that’s all I really care about, though the smell is becoming very difficult to ignore.

I’ve tried different tactics to get her to perhaps use deodorants and bathe more, like buying her fancy perfume gift sets and bubble baths and soaps from nice boutiques for her birthday and Christmas, and offering her use of my body sprays, deodorants and perfumes when we’re getting ready to go out (which she usually declines).

She’s at college now and she’s mentioned to me that a few other girls are bullying her, though she didn’t say why (not that bullies need a reason!) I hope it’s not because of her smell, and I’d much rather she was told gently and kindly by a friend, than by a cruel bully who’d do it to humiliate her.

How can I tell her and spare her feelings? Is it my place to tell her at all? I know it’s not really any of my business how someone smells, and I’m not even sure that I’d want to be told if I had the same problem, but at the same time, I wouldn’t want people to think I was dirty or talk about me behind my back. I think that if I had the same problem and had to be told about it, I’d much rather hear it kindly from someone who I know cares for me, than by a group mean girls or a stranger. Please, please, please help. What is the etiquette around this problem? Any and all advice welcome! 0415-16

You just tell her in as straightforward manner as possible.   I had a dear friend who developed the worst halitosis ever.  Being within 3 feet of her when she talked was excruciating because it smelled like something had crawled into her throat and died weeks earlier.   I finally was the one who told her and it was as simple as,  “Donna,  I’m not sure you are aware of this but you’ve developed horridly bad breath.  Are you having a problem with post nasal drip?”   She hadn’t noticed and asked me how bad.   “Really, really bad…like you ate a rotting carcass.”  I don’t recall what she did but within 2 weeks the bad breath was gone and hasn’t returned.

Good friendship can withstand the truth, particularly when the relationship has a foundation of each other looking out for the other person.    My best friend whom I have known for over 40 years is someone I can hear the truth from because I know she has my back always.   You should trust the friendship and tell her that she needs to address the issue of her sweaty smell.

I own driving ponies, btw, and I happen to like the smell of pony poop and sweat but after messing with the ponies for a few hours, it’s time to shower and wash the “eau de barn” scent down the drain because most people don’t appreciate the smell out of context.

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Feel Pranked Friday – The Fake Zombie Apocalypse

April 15, 2016

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Dear Voters, Choose The Healthy Narcissists

April 7, 2016

This is such a good article I had to share. Dr. Craig Malkin posted to Psychology Today’s blog an article he wrote titled, A Psychologist’s Open Letter to U.S. Voters – A research-backed guide to picking the next president. To summarize, Malkin notes What we should be far more concerned about is not whether politicians […]

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