Baby Showers
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I had an old friend, not very close, but we had known each other for
quite a few years, and I discovered that she was pregnant. My friend (whom
we will call Eve) slipped in a email to me that she was almost 7 months
pregnant.
I wrote back, congratulating her and her new husband on their
pregnancy, and then let her know that I would love to attend her baby
shower, if she knew of anyone throwing her one. The next day, I had an
email from Eve's close friend, asking for my home address. I sent it to
her. A few days later, I received a nice invitation in the mail asking me
to attend Eve's shower, which was only about 10 days away. The invitation
asked for an RSVP. Before I even had a chance to call and let the hostess
know that I would be coming to the baby shower, I received an email from
Eve's husband...whom I had never met. He told me flat-out that Eve did not
want me to attend her shower and that she would be very uncomfortable with
me being there at that particular occasion.
This came as quite a shock to me; I had only had a good relationship
with this woman, never an argument or a bad word between us! The husband
went on to say that I shouldn't "ruin such a special event for Eve by
showing up as an unwanted guest," and if I wanted to know why Eve was
so uncomfortable with me that I should contact her.
Besides being extremely hurt by such a negative and mean email that was
completely unwarranted, I wondered three things: 1. Why did Eve even have
her friend contact me about attending the baby shower in the first place,
if she didn't want me there? 2. How can anyone "ruin" a baby
shower? You bring a nice gift, play some silly games, and eat cake. I
don't see how that could be a negative event. 3. Why did she find it
necessary for her husband to contact me, a man I didn't even know? Didn't
she have the guts to email me? Needless to say, I never wrote to Eve
again. And I have heard nothing from her since.
Babyshower0130-03
I am part of a neighborhood playgroup along with "Brenda",
who lives nearby. At the time, our group was growing quite large, and
several of the attending mommies were usually pregnant at any given time.
At one point, three mommies were due around the same time, and although it
wasn’t the first for any of them, "Brenda" decided to throw a
shower for all three during one playgroup session. All of us non-expecting
mommies all decided to pitch in.
As you might imagine, it was destined to be an informal affair, what with
toddlers and infants involved, but nonetheless each mother took on one of
the tasks (decorations, cake, food) for the event. "Brenda"
volunteered to have the affair at her house, and offered to have food,
which she said she could prepare along with food for a party to be held
the night before (most took pride in catering the playgroups when they
hosted).
When we all arrived to set up early, the mommies all had done a fantastic
job, except for "Brenda." Her house was still disheveled from
the night before, and the food she had prepared? Scraps and leftovers from
the previous evening, some not looking too well preserved, and being
dinner-oriented – for a morning party. The only untouched food was a
bowl of nuts. Not one of us ventured a hand near any of it, and my cake
became the only choice. But that wasn’t the clincher.
At one point in the conversation about having second and third children,
"Brenda" remarked (loudly and proudly) how, when she was
pregnant with her second, "Denton" (then about 18 mos.), she had
wanted to get an abortion but changed her mind. Everyone went wide-eyed,
and while the silence thudded through the room, I noticed
"Denton" standing there watching us with a smile. How strange
that we must feel such shame for some who are strangely never affected by
it themselves. Babyshower0128-03
Miss Jeanne's blood boils at the insensitivity of
idiot parents who would let it be known within their child's hearing that
the child was almost aborted. When "Denton" gets old
enough to understand what that word means and the implications of the
choice his mother was considering, it would not be surprising if
"Denton" has some problems.
I was 8 months pregnant when my sister-in-law threw me a baby shower at
a community hall. There were a lot of people there and it was great.
UNTIL, she started showing her true colors. Let's see...First, she dragged
me to this table where the favors were displayed. She asked me if I liked
them and I said they were beautiful candles. She then proceeded to say
"You better like them, they cost me $6 each!" Half-joking or
not, I was appalled at her tacky comment. Then she wanted me to wear a
huge corsage. I let her put it on me, and I started to dance. It fell off
and I didn't notice until she said "Where's the corsage? I paid a lot
for that, you better put it back on!"
I was getting annoyed now.
Besides my swollen ankles and endless trips to the bathroom, I had to deal
with this woman on my special day. I took a few breaths and dug into the
food. Before I knew it, it was time to open the gifts. I sat on the chair
with my sweetie and he helped me open the gifts and show everyone for the
"oooh's and aaaah's". My sister-in-law was in front taking
pictures and after about 10 minutes of gift-opening, it was clear that
this was going to take a while..there were tons of boxes to open! Well, my
sister-in-law decides to get nasty and say "Hurry up, we don't have
all day!"
Then she gets up to make her speech and congratulates her
brother and thanks everyone for helping with the shower. She then proposes
a toast and embarrasses me like no one ever has in my LIFE. She says
"And I hope Jennifer keeps the baby in the family for a very long
time"...I could have given birth right then and there. What did she
think, I was going to give birth and run? Anyway, it definitely ruined my
shower, and I will never forgive her for her behavior.
Babyshower0113-03
When I was pregnant with my son (after waiting 7 years with no luck),
my deceased father's family (Methodist) decided to throw a baby shower for
me. GREAT! They invited my mother's family (Catholic) also. Now, these two
families DO NOT get along. So I was expected (unsaid) to keep the peace
(at 8 1/2 months pregnant). Now, my father's family is VERY proper and my
mother's family is somewhat not. A
nyway, I was due 8/28. The baby shower
was scheduled 8/19. Yep, you guessed it. The Boy decided to be born on
8/18. Instead of rescheduling the shower or bringing all the guests up to
see me and my son (the nurses suggested that) or even having my husband
attend the shower, my father's family (very "proper"
individuals) had the shower anyway!! They didn't bring me cake, or punch,
or anything. Didn't even take any pictures... My mother's family told me
later that one family sat in one room and the other family sat in another
room. I, of course, begged the hospital to be allowed to go but they said
it was my first child and I should rest. I cried all day. My father's
family never said anything but "you sure missed a nice party."
Babyshower0113-03
Hi all I am from Australia and have been thoroughly enjoying these
stories and am satisfied that there are people out there who should remain
behind locked doors and not let loose on society at any cost!
My story
begins with my partner's sister who was pregnant and her bf's mum was
throwing her a baby shower. Now bf's family is quite large and my
partner's sister Bec has a small family. So Bec begs me to come to the
baby shower as she hasn't got many friends and none of the family were
going to turn up. So I say that I will go.
I turn up to the shindig with
an expensive gift for the baby. I was greeted by a mutual friend of Bec's
and myself, we were the only two people on Bec's side to arrive for the
baby shower. Bec's bf's family was quite large and every relative within
cooee distance was there, it was a nice event until Bec, mutual friend and
I were outside having a cup of tea together. Bec turns to me and says
" if you ever get pregnant to my brother don't expect me to come to
your baby shower or do anything for the kid either!" the gall of this
girl, I was so taken aback by this comment that I soon left the shower and
remained quite upset for a longtime after. Babyshower0118-03
Hello, I have a story that I thought your readers might enjoy, though
after reading some of the others, it doesn't sound so bad!
A few years
ago, my husband came home from work with a baby shower invitation, so I
asked about the woman, and mentioned that it was strange to invite men,
but maybe times were changing. He then told me that the mother-to-be
HERSELF stood at the front entrance to the building and passed out the
generic, un-addressed invitations to every single person who came in, both
men and women, whether she knew them or not. Needless to say my husband
did not attend a baby-shower for this woman who was barely an
acquaintance, and hadn't even addressed an invitation to him!
Babyshower0201-03
My husband and I socialize with several other couples (most of the guys
are running buddies). There's one couple, Linda and Joe. There's another
couple, Barbara and Ben. Barbara and Ben got married after she became
pregnant, and, for a number of years, they were the only couple in our
circle with a child. As a result of the unplanned pregnancy, they went
through some hellish years financially and Barbara had to drop out of
college. As a result, Ben swore that their little boy would be an only
child. Barbara felt really insecure about not finishing college and kind
of flaunted her status as a mother to make herself feel better. For
example, if someone got a new job, she wouldn't congratulate them;
instead, she'd talk about how she was doing the only work that mattered by
being a mother. It was annoying, but we felt that she only did it because
she was insecure and tried to ignore it.
Well, Linda and Joe became pregnant. I bet my husband dinner at our
favorite restaurant that Barbara would be pregnant within six months
because she wouldn't be able to deal with the loss of "status"
Linda's pregnancy would mean for her. By the way, I really enjoyed that
dinner. In about Linda's seventh month of pregnancy, we all went together
to throw a shower for her. We invited her family, friends, neighbors, and
co-workers. I think about 40 or 50 women came, but that's just the kind of
person Linda is: people really wanted to wish her well. She got lots of
nice stuff.
Sadly, about three weeks before her anticipated due date, Linda visited
her doctor and he could find no heartbeat for the baby. The little girl
they were expecting had died in her womb. She ended up having to have a
c-section to deliver the dead baby. It was utterly horrible. I ended up
spending the day at the hospital after the surgery trying to console her
and Joe and just helping however I could. Other friends stopped by,
including Barbara and Ben. After her expressing her sympathy, Barbara
said, "So, what are you going to do with all the gifts you got at
your shower? Because, well, nobody threw me a shower [editorial note:
because it was her second baby] and there are some things you got that I
could really use." Linda murmured something about how she hadn't
decided what to do yet, which I thought was incredibly gracious of her
under the circumstances. Fortunately, they didn't stay long.
On a happier note, Linda and Joe had a beautiful baby girl about two years
later. She kept all of her shower presents and is happily using them with
her new baby. Babyshower0203-03
I guess I must know some of the rudest people ever as I keeping on
thinking of stories to send in. This one is related to baby showers. I was
invited last year to a baby shower for the wife of a classmate. I didn't
really want to get her some clothes that the baby would quickly outgrow or
yet another stuffed animal so I spent a few hours selecting some classic
children's books that I wrapped up quite cutely. The books were some that
they could enjoy reading to the child for a few years and would be a great
start for his/her library. I've done this for other showers or birthday
parties for young children and usually it has been well-received.
Well, the mother-to-be let me know by her reaction that she was not
pleased with the gifts with a sarcastic comment about "Oh yeah, this
will be useful" after opening them. Later a hostess asked if I could
return them and get something from the baby's registry. I told her I
couldn't because I no longer had the receipts -- I didn't add that I
wasn't going to spend any more time on shopping for someone that rude. Of
course, I didn't receive a thank you note.
Fast forward a few months, and I receive an invitation to a shower for
the wife of another classmate, who was friends with the other wife.
Apparently, they compared notes on who had brought what to the earlier
shower as I was contacted by her husband to not bother coming if I was
going to bring another "stupid gift." I definitely chose to
attend that shower and didn't get the couple a gift! Babyshower0206-03
At the after-Christening 'party' of my Godchild the time came to open
the presents. The baby was only 4 months old, and had been put down for a
nap in a different room. The baby's mother ("Karen") started
opening the presents with everyone standing around 'oohing' and 'ahhing'.
I had been helping with the cleanup and came in once the gift unwrapping
was already well under way. Being close to the parents of the godchild
(obviously) Karen pulled me next to her and started sorting through the
unwrapped gifts saying 'Look what Aunt Cecily got me!' and 'Look what the
neighbors got me'. I just looked at her and said 'Don't you mean look what
they got the baby?' And she's like 'Oh yeah, sure, that's what I meant'.
Two minutes later as she opens more presents she's still saying 'Look what
I got!'. I don't think she was being greedy, just excited, but people, you
still have to think! BTW, she never did send out thank you cards either!
(I doubt that she even knew she was supposed to....) In saying all this
she's a lovely person, I just hope that as a God parent I can instill in
her child a good sense of etiquette! Actually there were also other people
standing around the table opening the gifts. I don't know if that is bad
etiquette, but it just seemed wrong to me. I for one spent a good deal of
effort to make sure my gift was beautifully wrapped and a thoughtful card
accompanied. I wouldn't have been impressed to have one of the hangers-on
opening the gift and then discarding the thoughtfully chosen wrapping!
Babyshower0207-03
My mother and I were planning my baby shower. We decided to make it
family oriented since I have two children from a previous marriage I
really wanted them to participate. Things were going smoothly until my
sister tried to get involved. We were looking for invitations on the net
when she walks in and hands me a paper. I ask her what it is and she said
it is a list of the people she wants invited to the shower. I looked at
her and thought who are you to be giving me a list for a party that is not
even yours. It's not like she is even contributing money wise to this
party to even have some sort of a say so. She had invited her in laws, her
two brother in laws and their wives and children, her friends, and her
sister in law and her boyfriend. I was appalled that she would even
consider asking me this. She planningly said "It's not like mom and
dad can't afford it!" It's not about what can be afforded or not it's
about me standing in a crowd of people I hardly know.
Babyshower0312-03
I sent you another story about the shower given when I was pregnant
with twins. At the same shower some very wealthy old friends of my
husband's that we socialized with came and brought a gift. They left just
before I opened it and when I did I knew why. It was a very tacky
polyester boy's outfit that was supposed to look like a baseball players.
I was expecting both a boy and a girl (which everyone knew) so it was kind
of strange to get a gift specifically for a boy. If you are going to bring
one thing, why not bring a toy, or if it hurts so much to buy a baby gift,
don't bother. The outfit came in a box from a local department store and
when I tried to return it they looked it up based on its' tag and told me
that it had originally been purchased in a final sale for $5.00 five years
ago--guess how old our "friend's" little boy was? You guessed
it--he was now five. I just told the clerk to throw it in the garbage.
It's so insulting that it just makes me laugh.
Babyshower0325-03
I didn't want a baby shower because I feel uncomfortable being the
center of attention and I think all showers, however classy (if that's
even possible), are just a way to get gifts. I think people should offer a
gift if they really want to and leave it at that. However, when expecting
twins (our first children), our friends decided that we had to have a
shower and they were going to get together and host it. I agreed but I
told them that I really didn't want to travel to another town (I was close
to my due date), huge and uncomfortable, and the day of the shower was my
sister's due date with her first baby and I wanted to be able to get to
her quickly if necessary. One of my good friends lived literally around
the corner and graciously offered her home. Unbeknownst to me, another one
of the shower hosts that we didn't know well had browbeat my good friend
into hosting the shower at her house because it was brand new and she
wanted to show it off and given that we knew many of the same people she
used it as a house warming/shower opportunity--hey as long as there's
going to be food and drink. So now we have to drive over an hour (in the
opposite direction of the hospital) to be 'feted' surrounded by our
friends, as well as people we didn't even know who came to see the new
house. Gee, just how to make the parents to be feel "special."
Babyshower0325-03
I received a baby shower invitation a few summers ago. It had my name
on it, but I didn't recognize any of the names on the card, or the return
address on the envelope. I went crazy trying to figure out who the heck
this was from! It invited me to a baby shower in a nearby park and asked
for specific items...emphasis on cash.
I was talking to a friend of mine a couple of days later and mentioned
the strange invitation. She recognized the name and said it was from
someone who worked as a receptionist at the vet's office our volunteer
animal rescue organization uses. I asked how she knew my name and
address... this friend did some asking around, and as it turns out, the
woman asked one of the higher ups in our organization (on a weekly visit
to the vet's office) for some names and addresses of people to attend her
baby shower --- SHE MADE A LIST AND GAVE IT TO HER!!! I had never even
spoken to this lady, although I had been to that vet's office! Turns out,
too, that the shower was for her fourth child and she threw it for
herself. I was always taught that you NEVER throw yourself a shower, and I
haven't heard of showers for fourth babies before either... then again, I
had no idea that it was perfectly polite to invite total strangers to a
gimme presents party, so who am I to judge? I was so ticked off to receive
an invitation from someone I had never even spoken to!
Babyshower0410-03
Sorry, I don't have a shower-from-hell story, but I am just wondering
why it is such a big faux-pas to have a shower for a second or third
child? Isn't a baby shower supposed to be to welcome the new baby?
I'm fairly positive infants have no recollection
or care about a shower hosted for them. And the family can host a
get-together/cook-out/party to introduce the newest family member without
extorting more gifts.
It's
not JUST for getting new stuff. The most memorable things my son received
at his shower were keepsake items like silver picture frames, Peter Rabbit
dishes, baby books, etc. Why shouldn't a 2nd or 3rd child receive these
things too? They'll likely end up with hand-me-downs for the rest of their
lives, so why shouldn't they get a few new things when they're born?
Explain to me what it is that is preventing
friends and family from giving these gifts to a 2nd and 3rd child in the
absence of a shower. If you have to have a shower to jumpstart the
giftgiving gravy train, then people were never intending to bestow gifts
in the first place.
While a lot of the stories on your site contain examples of serious
rudeness or inconsiderate acts, I think many people read a lot more into
things than they should. Keep in mind that the host may not have ever
hosted a baby shower before and may be learning as she goes along. There
is certainly no excuse for rudeness, but often ignorance is misconstrued
as rudeness. Just something to keep in mind during the next
shower-from-hell!
Babyshower0415-03
I once received an invitation to a baby shower for my cousin who lives
in Florida (I live in Toronto). The invitation was sent from her sister
who lives in New York. The invitation (in a rhyme) basically said that
gifts will be sent now, and visits to Florida will be later! So even if I
could make it to Florida, I was not invited. I was also told that I would
receive a picture of the expectant mother opening my gift. I refused to
spend a dime, however my mother who "did not want to start up"
sent a gift certificate. We never did get the picture or a thank you note
for that matter!! Babyshower0424-03
Yesterday I attended the baby shower of my best friend, and I had to
post this story!! Since I was unable to actually throw the shower (I live
2 hours from my friend) I went an hour and a half early to help set up and
decorate. I literally worked like a dog to help with this aspect of the
shower and I was quite happy to do it since I adore my friend.
During the
shower itself which lasted 3 hours) I sat down for maybe a half an hour. I
helped with the games, I fetched drinks, I cut and served the cake, I took
photos, I videotaped the present opening, and basically did anything else
that needed done so that me friend would have a beautiful and memorable
day. When the shower was over I stayed to help clean, and definitely did
my fair share the place was filthy), I also loaded all of the presents up
in my truck or my friends van by myself (nobody at all helped) after all
of this was done the only thing left to do was put the food in
baggies/bowls and leave, since there were 9 people helping to do this I
felt I wasn't really needed and I decided to sit down because my back was
killing me.
I was sitting for no more than 2 minutes when one of my friend's aunts walked up to me and said "Well if you are just going to
sit there you might as well leave". Once I got over the initial shock
I explained to her that I was waiting because I had the majority of the
gifts in my truck and I was taking them to my friend's home for her where I
intended to unload them. She then loudly announced "X (my friend)
give Y your keys so she can take the gifts to your house she isn't helping
at all and she is in everybody's way". To my complete surprise, my
friend walked over and handed me her house keys without saying a word, I
was completely speechless, so I took them and left. I went to my friend's
home and began to unload the gifts, when I was almost done, my friend and
her family (her aunts and mother) showed up walked in the house and sat
down without offering their help at all. I finished unloading the things
from my vehicle and went inside to chat with everyone. The same offensive
aunt then said to me, "Did you get all the gifts?" I said I got
all the ones from my truck but not X's van , she then admonished me for
not getting those ones too, and told me to get them!! I did (don't ask me
why) by myself of course.
When all the gifts were unloaded and inside, I
again sat down to chat with everyone, the aunt then dismissed me like a
servant and said "Well, I guess that’s all you can go anytime
now." I looked to my friend for some support but got none, so I
promptly left. I received a call from my friend this morning and she
thanked me for helping but said nothing about the way her aunt treated me,
or the way she herself treated me. I am sure it will all be forgotten
soon, but for right now I say let them all burn in etiquette hell!!!
Babyshower0519-03
Some friends of ours was having their first child. We will call them
Pam & Mark. Pam had moved here from out of state so she didn't have
any friends. Although the reason for that is b/c Pam is not the
friendliest of people and hard to get to know. And Mark really didn't have
a lot of friends either only my Fiancé' and I basically.
Anyway, so
Mark's Great-Aunt Jude decided to host the baby shower for them. Aunt Jude
was an elderly woman whom everyone supposedly loved. Well, I spoke with
Aunt Jude several times prior to the shower to find out if there was
anything she wanted me to do. She asked me first to get the decorations
which I was fine with. Then she asked me to get the cake. She called me
back days later and decided that she would get the cake. Now mind you
again Aunt Jude was an elderly woman so she had many, many elderly
friends. So I buy the paper plates, napkins, table cloths, cups and the
decorations etc... I spent probably well over $50.
The day of the shower
arrives and I get to Aunt Jude's house and to my surprise she already has
everything for the shower including decorations. I was angry because she'd
asked me to get the stuff for it. Anyway, me and fiancé' are the first
there besides 2 elderly women friends of Aunt Jude's. Slowly but surely
elderly couples start arriving. I'd say about 10 couples not including
Fiancé & I. Then finally the lucky couple "parent to be"
arrive. We besides the expected parents are the youngest people there. Pam
& Mark only know Aunt Jude and her husband and no one else of course
besides us. Talk about tackiness. Aunt Jude invited all of her elderly
friends/couples to come to the shower and they gave gifts as well. Aunt
Jude had her "own" agenda and also had a little too much wine
that day along with her friends. The shower went rather well though. It
was nice. We never received a "thank you" from the couple nor
Aunt Jude who done her best to outdo herself to show off in front of her
friends. Let's just say we don't have much contact with the couple and
especially NO contact at all with Aunt Jude.
Babyshower0603-03
My sister, the selfish, self-centered brat, had her third child and her
third set of baby showers during the time our mother was in the last
stages of terminal cancer. Not only did she insist on inviting everyone
she had ever met, she also "borrowed" mother's address book to
invite all of my mother's friends. My mother was horribly embarrassed, but
that was just the beginning! My sister then followed up with a phone call
to let my mother's friends know that she would be at the baby shower and
it would probably be her last outing "if they wanted to see her one
last time"!!!!
Unbeknownst to any of us, my sister secretly hired one of her nurse
buddies to "help get her there". After finding out what she had
done (one of my mom's friends called me from the shower) I arrived at the
shower to find my mom exhausted and her friends horrified that my sister
had drug her out like that. It was her last outing alright, it damn near
killed her. To this day, my sister still doesn't understand why any of my
brothers & sisters are still angry about the incident. Babyshower0620-03
Hi. Here is a story of a baby shower I attended a few weeks ago. I
still shake my head when I think of it. A bit of background info: The baby
shower was for a former co-worker, Janie, who I was really good friends
with, but due to job switches for the both of us several years ago, we end
up speaking on the phone about once a year, with a few e-mail jokes,
messages in between here and there. Here it goes. Janie e-mails me and
tells me her sister Karen is throwing her a shower and that I was invited.
I received the invitation with only 3 weeks notice. I thought that was a
bit short notice, considering it is the summer, but actually had nothing
to do the actual day so I RSVP'd that I would go. I go to the place she is
registered, get a gift, card, etc. I also found it odd that the invitation
was in Janie's writing. I still can't decide if Janie is throwing herself
a shower or if Karen is making her do it.
3 days before the shower, Janie e-mails me and asks me if my daughter
and my fiancé are coming. I responded no - they have other plans. Now
bear in mind that my 13 year old daughter and my fiancé would rather
watch grass grow then to go to a baby shower. Plus, when the invitation
came, it was addressed to me only. Not "Ann and Family."
Day of shower: I actually have a bit of a faux pas myself. The place of
the shower is about 40 miles away from me, so I had to leave about 45
minutes to get there on time. My telephone rings, and it's my good friend
Becky, whose mother has been sick for some time. Becky is basically
telling me that her mother has only DAYS to live. What a shock! I've known
that whole family, including Becky's mother, since I was about 10 years
old. I consoled Becky with kind words, etc. (Unfortunately, Becky's mom
did literally pass away two days later). The phone call ends, I look at
the clock and realize that at best, I will still only be about 15-20
minutes late. I felt I couldn't just tell my friend Becky "Gee, sorry
your mom is dying, but I have a baby shower to go to." Becky will be
a bridesmaid in my wedding next year, and I will be her maid of honor when
she marries next year as well (just an idea of how close Becky and I are).
To make matters worse, I misinterpret the directions from the internet
and get a bit lost. At this point I'm in the town I need to be in, but I
just have to back-track, etc. Bottom line: I end up pulling into the
driveway one hour and fifteen minutes late! Between the call and getting
lost. (Like I said - my own faux pas) I felt like such a jerk dragging in
this present with all these people. I feel like a jerk no more. There was
hardly anyone there! Just the host, the guest of honor, and Janie's
brother and sister-in-law. (there were 30 people invited) I was in shock -
here I am beating myself up for being so late and I was actually
considered early! I didn't say anything, because I'm an outsider, but
Janie's sister-in-law was going nuts. "I can't believe this!",
"Don't people know how to tell time?" Janie's brother and
sister-in-law leave about a half hour after I arrive, saying that that
they were "shocked people weren't there earlier" and had
"better things to do." Can't say I blame them.
Now I'm just sitting around and Karen, Janie's sister/host decides to
decorate the place (only then did she decide). This isn't necessarily a
faux pas, but this is a grown woman who decorates like a blind-folded
toddler! It was awful. No rhyme or reason to any of the decorations.
Janie then says to me: "Hey Ann, I'll be right back." When I
asked where she was going, she told me she had "to go pick up her
cake." PICK UP HER CAKE?!?!? That should have already been there
hours ago! And why is the guest of honor picking up her own cake?!?! Truly
unbelievable. Bear in mind, it is now about well over an hour and a half
into this - and no one is still there.
The shower does not get into full swing (with people arriving, etc),
until two and a half hours later! Then someone brings in a crib. Yes, it
was a crib, because it was still in the box and not wrapped at all! Can we
try to surprise the girl for a little bit???
I then asked her what she planned on naming the baby. She had e-mailed
me weeks ago and told me she was having a girl. She gave me the look of
death. I guess she only told a few people she was having a girl and wanted
to keep everyone else in the dark. HELLO?!?! You could have told me this
when I walked in - we were only alone for almost 2 hours! At least the
food was good. I was so disgusted at this point, I stepped outside to call
my fiancé and told him I'd meet up with him and go to dinner with some
friends of ours. I waited around this awful shower for another 45 minutes,
to at least see her open my gift. Then I bolted out of there like the
place was on fire.
Three days later I got my "Thank You" Card - an e-mail. Not
even one of those e-greetings, but a simple e-mail saying that "I was
glad you could make it", and "thanks so much." Again,
unbelievable. That particular day, I was out of work sick, and when I
returned the following day, she e-mails me AGAIN to see if I received her
"thank you" from the day before.
Oh, by the way, Janie is the same girl who has literally invited
herself to my wedding (due to our distant relationship I haven't even put
her on my list), she keeps saying how she's going, etc., and when I told
her of my engagement, she never once congratulated me, only to say:
"Aw man, check you out - who's in the wedding?" NOT HER! Seemed
to me she was looking for me to say "Hey Janie, would you do me the
honor and be a bridesmaid?" Don't think so. I hardly see her as it
is. I think I'll tell her I'm eloping.
Thanks for reading. Great site Babyshower0702-03
Where do I start? My husband and I
found out we were pregnant 5 months after we married. My dear friend
"Cheryl" was to throw the shower at my church with my mom. She
told me to make a list of everyone I wanted to invite. I thought that was
tacky but I did. I put a list together gave it to her then she asked me to
help with the favors!!! Again I did. Later I found out that not all the
people on the list got their invites.
Then 2 weeks before the shower and
AFTER the invitations went out the pastor of my church calls me to say
that I couldn't have my shower at the church since I didn't invite
everyone from the church. He said it was a church function and therefore
everyone should be invited. First I didn't know everyone well enough to
invite them. Plus I didn't want to be a gift grubber. (our church is
small), One girl I didn't invite blatantly told my mom that she didn't
care if I miscarried, so why would I invite her? Second, why was he
telling me? I wasn't the one who was hosting the party. It might as well
have been me hosting since I got "asked to help" since the
hostess was busy, and my mom was in NC until a few days before the
shower.. I definitely will NEVER host a shower for anyone ever!
Babyshower0703-03
I have a dear friend, who has money troubles and fertility issues,
offer to throw me a baby shower for the arrival of my first child. I
agreed and told her she may want to ask for help to offset the cost.
The hostess gift I had arranged for her to have ended up being shipped
back to the company due to damage and the company sent her a check. I had
also paid for thank-you cards through my friend and received them but the
order had been messed up and I received them for "free", but my
friend had already cashed my check. It is okay, no big deal, the money
will help her out with the expenses.
About a week before the party, I called my friend to ask about the
invites and told her that I had addresses of my husband's friends that she
did not have. Since the shower was going to be at my house, I had been
rather involved. She told me to stay out of the party planning and that
she had everything under control. She then went on to complain and gripe
at me for 30min on the phone about how much the shower was costing
(remember the money I had "given" her?) and that I was butting
in so much that she didn't even know if she wanted to throw the shower.
She went on to say that because she was getting help that she felt like
the thrill of giving the shower was being taken away and that it is very
hard to throw a BABY shower when she herself may never get pregnant--which
I truly understand, but why offer in the first place? She then asked me to
go to dinner with her so we could talk more. I was very open to this.
I told her I would stay out of it and trusted things would be okay. I
cried the rest of the evening. Turns out she only made this phone call
because she was planning a "surprise" shower (i.e. dinner date
with her) 3 days before the shower. She wanted to throw me off the scent
of the surprise. 11 people were there and they all had to pay for their
own dinner. My friend didn't even get me a baby shower gift! (I guess this
isn't necessary since she did throw the shower). To top it all off, she
insulted my husband (who wasn't there) in front of everyone else at the
party like it was a joke.
To say the least, I should have turned her down for throwing the
shower, but this was someone I really cared about. She hurt me deeply and
I doubt that our friendship will ever be the same again.
Babyshower0713-03
Page Last Updated May 15, 2007
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