- Jun 2003
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Jan-Jun 2005 Archive
A former friend of mine is pregnant and had her baby shower
this past weekend. She and her husband live about an hour away, but
are in town two or three times a month to visit her family. I say
"former" friend, because I haven't heard from her or her husband
socially, since their wedding a few years ago. I'm also very aware that her
husband likes to talk about me behind my back -- and he's very controlling of
her. Anyway, several weeks ago, another friend told me the Mrs. was
having her baby shower -- and that I was on the guest list. I was surprised, and
actually irritated, because I felt like I was a late add and I was being milked
for a present. I told this friend that I hadn't received an invitation, and as
such, could not respond or decline. She told me that she was ASSURED I was on
the guest list. (This friend wanted to carpool to the shower.) I
never received an invitation, but my friend went.
Afterwards, she told me that the groom, who had arranged for a
male buddy to pick him up during the shower, decided at the last minute to stay
at the female-only event, leaving his buddy to sit there. The husband then
apparently complained to the guests that I hadn't bothered to show up. My friend
jumped to my defense, telling him under no uncertain terms that I'd never
received and invitation, and if I had, I would have declined. She also told him
she and I both knew I was a last-minute invite, only for the gift.
He shut up and didn't say another word about me.
I recently received a baby shower invitation, and I *had to*
share it with you:
(All names and locations have been excised)
“You are cordially invited to attend a baby shower for
“Mommy”. It will take place at <blah blah blah>. Please
RSVP with “Mommy’s Mom”. “Mommy” and “Daddy” are
registered at Target & Babies-R-Us.
Although cards are really nice,
They are usually read just once or twice.
But a book is a treasure
That will give lots of pleasure.
So instead of a card to be put aside,
Please give a book with a message inside.
Each time we open the book with care,
A little piece of you will be there.”
While I’m sure they think it’s charming that they’re
asking for books, I refuse to allow anyone dictate what I’ll give them.
I think I’m coming down with a severe case of Ornery Guest Syndrome and will
“regretfully” decline to attend. (It has been suggested by my mother,
however, that we go together on a “Baby’s First Etiquette” book…wonder
if they’d get the point.)
Ok, so my older brother and his girlfriend found out she was
pregnant. I don't really know her that well ( I met her once, I thought she was
a spoiled brat and they'd last all of five minutes.), and since I was close to
my brother, I decided to come home (I live a good 12 hours away) and host a baby
shower for her. I went all out. I custom designed the invitations, spent weeks
making the handmade chocolate favors, spent months learning to bake and decorate
a special kind of cake, and spent hundreds of dollars on this shower. (I also
spent 8 months working on an elaborate heirloom for the baby.
She picked it up, looked at it and threw it down. My mom cried when she saw
Let's start with what she actually did at the shower. She was
30 minutes late! It was at her house! It was supposed to be women only, but she
got sight of my brother and CRIED until he stayed. He's sitting there in the
pictures pouting. I sat there and recorded every single gift, and believe me,
they made out like bandits! Did I or anyone else get a thank you note? NO! She
didn't even say thank you for ANYTHING I did. She dumps that baby on my mom, her
mom or my brother, every single chance she gets!
Today, I received a call from my niece, which is odd, since I
rarely hear from either of my nieces. (Rarely as in “never”.)
She was calling me to invite me to her baby shower, which is
being given by her sister on Saturday. Yes, the Saturday that’s six days
from today. And she’s registered! For my convenience! She’d
just got off the phone with my sister-in-law and my mother, as well.
I am not sure how many etiquette violations that makes ..
Calling in an invitation? The guest of honor calling the invitee? On
such short notice? Shower being given by family? My head hurts!
And finally .. is it an actual etiquette violation to only
call one’s family when one is seeking gifts, or does that fall under just
plain old bad manners?
My husband has 2 cousins, A and B, they are sisters. They're
both pregnant and due 3 months apart. They each have 2 baby registries. A has
180 items on it and B has 189 items. Now, usually I don't mind a registry. I'd
like to buy what the mother-to-be wants but this is ridiculous and many of the
items are toys, walkers, swings, things a newborn doesn't necessarily
"need". Neither are registered for a car seat, stroller, crib,
carrier, things that I would think were needed or for the infants safety. I have
one son, never had a registry, and he had plenty, people gave really nice
Oh, and an ex-friend had FOUR registries with well over 200
items total for her SECOND baby, same sex, less than 3 years after her first.
I could write pages of stories regarding the antics of my
daughter-in-law's mother, but will limit myself to only one story this time.
My daughter-in-law is actually the wife of my step-son, but we have always
gotten along well. When she was expecting their first child her mother and
various other relatives decided to throw a baby-shower for her. I was
asked at one point if I wanted to be on "The Committee". I declined
since everyone else lived in the same town and were all related to each other
and I lived 45 minutes away and was only related by marriage. I did attend
the shower and purchased one of the more expensive gifts from her gift registry
as well as making a personalized hand-made gift.
When I arrived I was asked if I wanted to contribute to the
cost of the shower and have my name listed on the gift that was being given from
"The Committee". I again declined, saying that I didn't feel I should
since I didn't participate in the planning. Her mother tried to convince
me it was ok that I wasn't able to make any of the meetings, that I could still
be included. I again said no, and started speaking to one of my husband's
relatives that was also attending. At the conclusion of the shower, which
consisted of: a cake that her mother made from a mix and served in the baking
pan which wasn't large enough to serve everybody; mis-matched leftover holiday
napkins to represent all of the baby's first holidays; soda in 2-liter bottles
on the table - self-serve with Styrofoam cups; no games because "The
Committee" decided that nobody really likes to play those games anyway; and
Soon after marrying my husband (now EX) we will call him D.
I became pregnant with my first child. Both D and I were in the military
and although I had met his family several times I still didn't know them very
well. D's mother and sister decide to throw me a baby shower, I was very
grateful but wasn't expecting one. My family lived several states away and
was not able to attend. So I show up to my baby shower and only know about
5 people there. A lot of people I have no idea who they are or how they
know D. Before I even open gifts or get to introduce myself to some of
these people one of D's family members comes in an announces that she is
pregnant with twin boys! So now no one cares about me being pregnant with
one girl...cuz someone they actually know is having 2 boys! I just smiled
and opened the gifts and thanked everyone for coming, but after the gifts were
opened all the attention went back to the one preggo with twins...thanks
for making me feel special.
An ex-best friend of mine, Gerdy (or should we pronounce it
"Greedy"?), was having her third (boy) child. Since
this baby's father, Butch, had recently been awarded a $90,000
workman's comp settlement it didn't compute, in my mind, as to how a
shower was necessary. Seems they could afford to provide for their own, at
least in the financial sense. However, because Gerdy considered
his small-town family "hillbilly rich", she continually hinted
-- then insisted -- a baby shower be thrown in their honor, figuring she would
be granted a bevy of baby gifts from them. Come to find out through
conversations with Gerdy that this "well-off" family wasn't
entirely convinced as to the true paternity. Therefore Gerdy and
Butch were informed, in no uncertain terms, that his family was going
to wait until the birth to see "who he looked like" before
throwing a shower.
Though I shall never divulge the true paternity,
let's just say Butch's family acquiesced upon seeing such sweet innocence
mirrored in the eyes of this little bundle of joy and, a few weeks later, the much
begged-for shower was set in motion. Suffice it to say they
spared no expense when renting out the local VFW/Rod & Gun Club
facility. While one of his aunts spent the afternoon making a ton of
homemade food in the back kitchen area, Butch's mother made sure there was
a table front and center as you entered the building. Said table was literally
bowing under the weight of so many sweet gifts from every member of Butch's
side. Rows and rows of folding tables were set up and adorned with the
usual paper tablecloths. There were balloons and other
baby-themed decorations lovingly placed about the hall. It
wouldn't be an exaggeration to say about 50 people showed up and, might I
add, not one of them arrived empty-handed.
After the celebration, I helped haul the baby booty to
Butch and Gerdy's home. Once every last present was brought in they
immediately proceeded to siphon what they considered to be the "tacky,
cheap" gifts from the "hopefully returnable" ones ... right in
front of me. And I quote: "baby bottles with 'ugly prints';
"obviously 'dollar store' purchased rattles"; and "clothes our
son would not be caught dead in!". Apparently these two bastions
of fine taste wasted everyone's time and money on a completely unappreciated
(read: unnecessary) shower. Final note: It
shouldn't come as a surprise that thank-you's were never written and mailed
to all those genuinely kind-hearted people (or to me). Do you understand
now why I refer to her as my "ex-best friend"?
My friend "Jane" is having her first baby. Her
shower is actually tonight. Two other friends of hers are throwing
the shower for her. We all received an email with a "Save The
Date"--but no time or location. We also received an email telling us
where Jane is registered. These emails came about late May, or early June.
Weeks go by, and nobody hears a word about it since.
Myself, I was dealing with unemployment and possibly having my house foreclosed
on, and trying to figure out where else to live, so the shower completely
slipped my mind. Jane and I are close (or at least, so I thought) and
email every day, and see each other once a week.
Wednesday, a friend of ours emailed a bunch of us asking if
anybody would like to come to her house this Friday and watch movies.
Jane responded, quote, "I'd love to, but I'll be at my
shower." Several emails fly around, basically asking if this
was the shower her two friends were throwing for her that we got the "Save
the Date" emails for, and that nobody had gotten an invitation.
Jane's response was, again quote, "Well crap, I wish you
guys had said something before now."
Not, "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. Here's
the information, I hope you can still come." Basically, a snotty
email blaming her would-be guests for not nagging and whining for their
A half-assed email was sent by one of the co-hostesses--who
said that she'd noticed some of us hadn't RSVP'd--well, she emails us pretty
regularly, why didn't she say something? Another half-assed email was sent
out saying whose house the shower would be at--but no address, just,
"Call if you don't know how to get there."
No apology of any kind. Not a single, "I'm sorry
for the mix-up." Call me sensitive, but as far as I'm
concerned, that isn't an invitation, and Jane's attitude doesn't make me feel
welcome. I won't be going, and I know of two others who feel they same way
about it and won't be attending for the same reasons.
I am a long-time reader, first-time storyteller. The story in
question -- that of a workplace baby shower -- occurred some months ago, but it
still makes me shudder at the mention of a workplace party, and has changed
forever my attitude toward one of my co-workers, whom I will call "H".
She put herself in charge of the baby shower for "B", who is very
outgoing and knows almost everyone at our large workplace, so the shower was
very well attended. The first mistake, in my opinion, was to have it be a
surprise party, but there were other problems, as you shall see.
The shower was potluck, and I had signed up for something (I
don't even remember what) only to have H, a week later, come to my office
and say, "Someone else wants to bring that. You need to bring cheese and
crackers." I shrugged that off, since cheese and crackers are easier than
cooking something, but it struck me as odd.
On the day of the shower, some co-workers and I went to the
large room where it was being held, to find that H was behaving as if it were a
wedding and she were the mother of the bride. (I should emphasize here that we
are not at all a formal company and the work atmosphere is very light-hearted.)
You would have thought that if this workplace baby shower was not perfect down
to the corners of the tablecloths (I didn't even know our workplace HAD
tablecloths) the sky would fall. At one point -- I am not making this up -- she
pulled out a copy of the potluck sign-up sheet that had gone around and started
checking it against the food on the tables.
I got a plate and started opening up my wedges of brie. H
swooped up."You brought BRIE? Nobody is going to eat THAT!" "You
told me to bring cheese; you didn't say which--""Nobody's going to
TOUCH that!""Okay, then, I'll just open one wedge and save the
other--" "You could save them both, because nobody's going to eat
THAT!" and off she swooped, muttering. (Naturally the wedge I opened was
devoured. But I'm not complaining that I had one left over.)
Another co-worker, M, was supposed to bring B in,
but of course did not at the prearranged time (H scheduled
the shower for noon, not taking into account the fact that B always eats
her lunch at 12:30 and thus has things scheduled until 12:30 every day). H
decided I had to do something about this. She shrieked my name accusingly across
the room and beckoned impatiently, which, in my opinion, is an appallingly rude
gesture even if not done as she did it, which is the way you might do it to a
misbehaving three-year-old. She ordered me to call M, who of course said that
she was trying to get T to come downstairs without explaining why (this is why
surprise parties are so often a bad idea). When they did not immediately appear,
this was my fault, and H told the fifty-plus people in the room as much.
"I can't tell you why they're late: you'll have to ask [my name]. She was
supposed to get them here," with infinite scorn at my
As we waited, somebody got the bright idea to turn off the
lights. We stood in the complete darkness -- windowless room -- for almost
fifteen minutes, until someone (of course) fell over a chair. At this point I
started to wonder if I had somehow been transported back to seventh grade (and I
am one of the youngest people in the company).
Finally B arrived. She was allowed to be first in line to
get her food, of course, but the instant she finished eating was ordered to open
her forty-plus gifts at warp speed so that everyone could see their gift being
opened. She asked me if I would write down who gave her
what, so she could later write thank-you notes. I agreed, because I
like B and this whole debacle wasn't her fault.
The gifts were ninety percent baseball-themed jumpers (it's a
boy) and ten percent things which allowed the givers to say in loud, smug
voices, "I knew everyone else would be giving you clothes, so I got you
something special." Someday perhaps I will cease to be amazed at the
ability of certain people to turn the most innocent situation into a
competition. People I've never met looked over my shoulder and informed me I'd
misspelled their names, making me change it, and apologize (seriously: one woman
with a name that, to say the least, she should be used to people misspelling
actually demanded, "Aren't you going to say you're sorry?"), and miss
the name attached to the next gift. Now I too have a name
that is difficult to spell, and I appreciate when it is spelled correctly, but
the only person who was going to see this list was B, and as long as she could
tell what the name was supposed to be, that was all that mattered. I missed
about ten names because the previous gift-giver was craning to look at my list
and then making me erase and write their name again.
The second the last gift was opened and I handed over the list
to B, H shoved a pile of dirty paper plates into my arms and said, "I
need you to clean up all the garbage while I make sure everyone got cake."
She gestured to the floor where some salad had accumulated. I took that armload
of trash to the garbage can, collected my brie wedge, and left. I didn't get a
bite of food, and I was so angry that I had to leave early that day.
Our first daughter was born only a few days before Christmas.
My parents were visiting from out of town, both to spend the holidays with us
and to see their new granddaughter. Because of this, my mother-in-law
decided that it would be a good idea to have a baby shower while my parents were
in town. That way, my mother would get to attend. This was a great
idea, with just one problem - my daughter was EXTREMELY young when her shower
was held (just over a week old), and because she was my first, I didn't have a
clue what I was doing. The shower was a surprise to me - all I knew
was that we were expected at my sister-in-law's house one evening. I got
ready, and we were just about to leave when the baby started to cry. She
was hungry. What could I do? I had to sit down and feed her.
This put us at least half-an-hour behind schedule, but because I thought we were
just going to sister-in-law's for coffee and cake, I didn't think anything of
We got to sister-in-law's place almost an hour late to
be greeted by "SURPRISE!", along with all my female friends, my
mother, and some of my mother's friends. It was a lovely surprise, marred
by just one thing - my mother-in-law took my husband aside and very audibly
scolded him for being late. In vain, he told her that (a) I hadn't known
about the shower, so I hadn't known to be early, and (b) when a week-old baby
cries from hunger, you have no choice but to feed her, lateness be damned!
My twins, born in 1984, were admitted directly to the newborn
intensive care unit. They were early, one was not particularly well, and there
was no telling how things would turn out. A friend of mine said "let's have
the baby shower anyway!" It had been previously scheduled for a month
before they were born, but as luck would have it, they were born two months
early. We did have it anyway.
Over the month, a lot of changes happened with the munchkins
and I decided to simply fill out little information cards and add photos and put
them on the mantel so I didn't have to answer "how are the babies"
questions all night. This was to be a fun time. One of the guests, who happened
to be a lesbian, brought her partner with her. They had gotten together and
purchased a very nice gift. I love my friend dearly, but really, really didn't
care for her partner, but that's another story. The partner handed me the card
to go with the gift. She had a big smile on her face. I opened it and it was a
sympathy card. A real sympathy card. This was her idea of a joke. To me, the
mother of two babies who almost didn't make it, it was in excessively bad taste.
She never did understand why that card bothered me. I gave the gift away to
someone else. I didn't want it around. P.S. It's 21 years later and those
premature infants are just fine.
My sister was pregnant for the third time and her friend was
hosting yet another baby shower. She had a shower for each of her
children, my mother was totally embarrassed each time because my sis is all
about the "getting gifts" thing. Every time she would hound my
Mom about a list of "her" friends to come and every time my Mom would
refuse and lecture her on her selfish, self centered ways. Well,
this time my Mom had terminal cancer and all of us were very concerned about her
... not my bratty sister. My Mom calls me everyday and tells me about my
sister's latest whine -- "why can't I borrow your address book and invite
some of your friends, I'll get so much more stuff for the baby." My
mother is soooo embarrassed, but refuses to give up the address book. My
sister finally steals it and invites all of my mom's friends, in addition to her
own flock of friends. My Mom finds out and is totally humiliated and
furious about it.
My Mom is barely making it through each day and we have nurses
and Hospice coming twice a day. For the day of her shower (during her
6th month of pregnancy -- way too early for a shower anyway) it has been agreed
that my dad will stay with my Mom and that our family will attend the shower for
Precious Bratty Sister. And we have already discussed having a later
shower for our family right before the birth of this third child. I am
trying to be understanding because I know there is no way my Mom is going to be
here when this third child comes and my sister is going to miss our Mom, good
grief I'm not that insensitive but this really is a hard time for our
family right now.
Anyway, the night before the blasted shower my Mom has a
terrible night and I wind up staying over there all night long. My ex has
our daughter for the weekend so when the Hospice nurse arrives in the morning, I
go home to bed, knowing I am going to have to miss the shower entirely.
I'm snoozing away when the phone rings and it is one of my mom's best friends.
My sister has hired a nurse and had Mom picked and dragged her to this damn
baby shower! Apparently, a few days before the shower she called all of my
mom's friends to let them know this would probably be mom's last outing and if
they wanted to see her they should come to the baby shower! My mom's
friend was furious and insisted that I get right over there -- which I did.
My mother was in tears from the pain and embarrassment of this
ordeal and absolutely livid herself. My dad didn't know any better and he
had helped them load Mom and her wheelchair up. This house where the
shower was held was tiny to begin with and they couldn't get mom's wheelchair
maneuvered into the living room, so she was parked in the hallway by the front
door. I simply walked in, saw what was going on and loaded her back up in
my car and took her home, she cried all the way and cursed my sister's selfish
ways. Fortunately, her pain ended about 10 days later and she passed
To this day, I cannot look my sister in the eye without
becoming absolutely furious. My siblings have fumed over this for years,
whatever in the world would possess someone to do something so insensitive?
My mom's friends called me about the event afterwards and could not believe my
sister had pulled this. And my sister, doesn't understand why we are so
upset that she wanted her mother with her on her "special day."
By the way she made a huge haul from the shower, I have always hoped she would
choke on it but hasn't.
I’ve written about this friend before in the Bridal Shower
section. She was the soon-to-be bride who got mad that someone surprised
her with a gift by forwarding it to her out of town shower instead of her home
and ranted and raved about it to me. But, I was the surprise gift-giver
and I was completely insulted and never received a thank you.
Even though she acted badly at her bridal shower, her bad
behavior went away after she was married and we picked back up our relationship.
Fast forward 6 years when she gets pregnant. She was very nervous of this
pregnancy because it had been a year since she suffered a major car accident and
the medical problems that go with that and some unfortunate and un-timely deaths
in her immediate family within a 12 month period. I was really there for
her and husband during this rough time. More than I have ever been to any
of my family. I really cared for her and husband without ever shelling out
a dime or giving gifts; I gave a lot of my time and help. The pregnancy
was not planned but very welcomed as they had wanted to start having children
before all the above events started to happen.
The past 12 months had drained them significantly of money and
resources. So, I waited until after her work gave her a shower and
her friends and family in her home state gave her shower to figure out what to
get them. They received a stroller from work and some very lovely and
thoughtful things from her friends and family but no crib or changing table type
stuff. So when I looked at the price of the crib that she wanted, I
realized that it was very reasonable (about $200). I didn’t have the
extra money but I did have a lot of extra things in my house and had a garage
sale. I made about $320. So I was really ecstatic. I literally
left my house after the sale and ran to the store to go buy it.
When I was at the store, they had a special on her stuff and I
could get the crib with a mattress and the changing table which had drawers
underneath for about $280. It was $65 dollars for shipping and assembly.
Sold! So off it went and I called her to let her know that it was coming.
She was really happy and couldn’t wait and was very thankful.
So the crib and changing table that she picked out is
delivered and assembled in her house. About two weeks later, I’m anxious
to see the nursery and I went over to house to see everything. She shows
me the room and it does not have the furniture that I bought. I’m
shocked and horrified. “What happened to the furniture that I bought you”, I
asked her. “Ohhhhh…” as she starts to giggle, “…we figured you
would buy it for us and we just upgrade to something we actually wanted.”
(Is your mouth on the floor? Mine was too). Who says something like
that to a friend? Is she delirious? Why didn’t she just put in for the
one she wanted? I’ve never heard of such a thing. The store has a
100% guarantee so the shipping and assembly was included with her new stuff.
I don’t know how long it was until I said something because
she just continued to walk around the room and show me all of the nice things
everyone got her and explained how she had a “return pile” because those
items were ugly. I didn’t say much for the entire time that I was there
because I have never felt like such a fool. I haven’t spoken to her
I once received a shower invitation for somebody I barely knew
from work. Across the bottom of the card was written several times in big
letters: "no orange! no orange! no orange!"
It took me a long time to find that matching set of orange
towels but I found some really bright ones and had them sent to the shower.
ROFL -- I just couldn't resist an invitation like that!
My cousin whom I threw and took on the full expense of her
bridal shower, bachelorette party, and baby shower decided that she wanted to
throw my baby shower to show her appreciation. One weekend she asks if I
have plans for Sunday two weeks away, I told her that I didn't know of anything
planned, she then informs me that two Sundays from now will be my baby shower. Mind
you, we're in November and I'm not due until early February of next year and the
baby shower was the Sunday before Thanksgiving. She then sent the
invitation late only giving people 7 days notice regarding the baby shower.
When I tried to talk to her about my concern about the baby shower being so
close to Thanksgiving not to mention that my guest are not being given enough
notice, she refused to do anything about it. As if that wasn't bad enough,
I started getting phone calls from friends and family stating that there was no
date or time regarding the baby shower. When I informed my cousin about
this oversight she stated that she was leaving for Las Vegas that night and
won't be back until late Monday night and told me she will call everyone when
she gets back to let them know that the baby shower is that weekend.
This story may not be as horrible as some others, but I'll
share it anyway.
As far as I can tell, a close friend or relative of the
mother-to-be usually throws the shower. My (now ex) boyfriend's mother offered
to throw me a baby shower for my first child back in October of 2004, as we were
living with her at the time. I of course accepted her gracious offer, and even
said I would help if she needed me.
Not only did I help, I ended up doing nearly everything! I
made the invitations, the favors (cheap tacky little mint bags, her choice, not
mine), the cake, everything. All she did was buy the supplies, cut veggies for
the platters and set up food, oh and find some "baby shower games"
suggestions online for me to look over. Now it wasn't a fancy shower by any
means. Just 10 or 12 women, mostly close relatives on the father's side (my
family all lived a good distance away and were unable to attend), we didn't
decorate at all other than the tables where the food and cake were. I served
drinks until my supposed "hostess" finally made me sit down saying she
would do it! Finally I get to enjoy my own shower. Oh, no I don't. I have to run
the games, ugh. My 8 months pregnant self not thrilled with this. Finally some
of my guests make their excuses, one was on her lunch break to attend, another
had to take her two year old home, etc etc. Fine by me, I was ready to be
I got some lovely gifts, I believe I sent all my (handwritten,
go me) thank yous before the baby was born, and have since pretended the whole
thing never happened. I was so horribly disappointed in her for promising to
throw my shower and then making me do all the work. And then her husband gripes
at me for not helping around the house! I certainly did more around there than
he did! I can't imagine what would have happened if I had depended on her if her
son had ever gotten around to marrying me (which thankfully he didn't and I am
much better off without him, or any of them). I was so excited that I was
actually going to get a shower, but then I was very disappointed in the way it
was accomplished. If I ever throw anyone a shower, I'm not going to let them
help, for goodness sakes, a pregnant woman doesn't need the extra work!
To top it off, my son was born less than a month later, very
healthy, and his paternal grandparents were too busy two hours away in Nevada
gambling to come to the birth, or even see him until I came home from the
hospital. My father and his wife made a trip across the country, too late for
the birth (I gave birth 5 days before my due date), but in plenty of time to do
a traditional blessing on him, and then take us out and spend more than I
expected (possibly more than everyone combined at my baby shower, I was
surprised at his generosity) on things for me and the baby, and the father's
parents didn't buy him a thing, just gave us a hand me down bassinet and some
used baby clothes. If I sound like I'm a little sore about the whole thing,
believe me, I am!
Several showers I've attended since moving to Ohio have had
envelopes on the table for guests to write their names and addresses on. After
the first shower and subsequently receiving the pre-addressed thank you - in my
own handwriting - I have for the most part declined to do this again.
Recently I was asked to co-host a baby shower, providing the
space and cooking - plus I purchased several gifts. The envelope issue came up
again...I was busy cooking and asked a friend to put my name on the envelope -
she knows my feelings and left off the address. All of a sudden, the guest of
honor came into the kitchen to remind/admonish me that I had left my address off
the envelope. I replied 'you have my address'. It is really the epitome of
rudeness to expect guests to help with this task. A guest book with the names
and addresses should suffice. The theory is that the envelopes are picked and
the guests get prizes. I won a prize with just my name on the envelope! For a
bridal shower, there is no reason the attendants cannot do this for the bride.
Whatever happened to etiquette?
Page Last Updated May 15, 2007