- Jun 2003
- Dec 2003 Archive
- Jun 2004 Archive
I had to share this story of the most horrendous date
I've ever been on! I was 19 at the time and I was working in a small law
office temporarily during the summer before my junior year in college. The
partner at the firm had his son working there as an office administrator.
Now this son, whom I shall call SleezBall, was in his late twenties,
strikingly good-looking and intelligent. Add to that the fact
that he was fairly wealthy thanks to a hefty salary and possibly
a trust fund from his dad, and the guy was, on the surface, perfect.
I learned the lesson very quickly that looks can be so deceiving, which
was definitely the case with this guy.
SleezBall started by casually inviting me to walk with
him to get coffee in the mornings. I was flattered, but I've never been
the type of person to read too much into someone else's intentions, so I
figured he was just being polite. Then he would ask me to go to lunch with
him. I figured out very quickly that his intentions were for us
to become more than just co-workers. I was slightly hesitant because we
did have to maintain a working relationship as well, but I was young at
the time and didn't really think through all of the consequences. And
besides, I was only going to be there a few months before I'd have to go
back to school. But I was very conscious of how my boss,
SleazBall's father, would view this kind of relationship, but SleazBall
was quick to dispel my uneasiness by saying he had spoken to his father
and he was fine with it. I should have known he was full of you-know-what
right then. What dad approves of his late-twenty-something son hitting on
a 19 year old subordinate in the work place? But who knows, maybe his dad
was just as sleazy!
Anyways, I was pretty excited when SleezBall asked me
out for dinner one night. Up to that point we'd only socialized during the
normal work day. We were planning to meet at a really nice, classy restaurant
down town so I wore something nice, but conservative. I met SleezBall at
the restaurant and he greeted me with a soft kiss on the cheek. I was not
exactly prepared for that kind of gesture, but didn't think much about it.
When the hostess came to seat us, SleezBall told her we would just sit in
the bar. I was very nervous at that point because I was not 21. I would be
mortified if we were to get kicked out of the restaurant because I was
underage, but SleezBall assured me he knew the wait staff very well and I
would not even have to show an ID because I was with him. Fine. So we go
to sit down at a booth right by the window. SleezBall obviously knows the
menu well and orders a bottle of ridiculously expensive wine and chocolate
covered strawberries before we even have dinner. I thought that was a
strange appetizer to order, but again, I said nothing. I did have a few
sips of wine so I didn't appear to be totally out of my element and I
started to loosen up a bit.
We talked and had a generally good time until SleezBall
decided that he wanted to sit right next to me so he could offer to hand
feed me strawberries and kiss my shoulder and neck at the same time. He
was whispering some totally inappropriate, suggestive things to me and I
was mortified. Keep in mind, we were surrounded by older, well-to-do
individuals who I can only imagine were repulsed by the show we were
putting on. So I quickly ate the strawberry and excused myself to the
restroom. I came back and found SleezBall had finished off the entire
bottle of wine by himself and was about to order another. I told him that
I wasn't feeling well and needed to go home. He said he was going to stay
a while longer, but would walk me down to my car. I insanely agreed.
Once we were in the elevator, all hell broke loose. We
had to go down 40 floors to get down to the parking garage, so it was
a long ride. SleezBall proceeded to attack me in the elevator, kissing me
hard on the lips so that I couldn't even get the word NO out. He even went
so far as to pull my hair in what I can only imagine he believed to be a
sexy turn on for me. I was disgusted. Luckily another couple got on the
elevator about half way down so he stopped. I hastily said good bye to him
once we got to my car and got in before he could even say anything.
Work the next day was agonizing. I would not even look
at him. I know now I could have, and should have had that disgusting
excuse for a man put in jail for sexual assault and at the very least,
fired for sexual harassment at work. As it was, I was just happy to quit
the job early and never have to deal with him again.
I dated a guy from work, we'll call him
"Jason." Jason and I met the first day of training, and
had immediate chemistry. I was new to the state and didn't know my
way around, so at first I just thought it was nice to have someone to show
me the city. I didn't think the interest was mutual. But by
the end of the first week, we had a date. Several more ensued, often
2 or 3 nights a week. End of the first month, we'd gotten to the
"exclusive dating" stage (a little fast, maybe, but it didn't
seem so at the time).
All the while, he'd casually bring up a girl named
"Mary." At first, he made it seem like Mary was his best
friend, and nothing more. Then, it emerged that Mary was his
ex-girlfriend. Then, it became all too apparent that Jason and Mary
were still harboring mutual interest (or just a really good sex life...).
Jason left for a weekend and stood me up when we were to have dinner
with another co-worker and his wife. My suspicions were confirmed.
He had driven to Mary's house. 3 hours away. I was
furious, but being not a little naive at this point, forgave him and got
back together with him.
Less than a month later, I had just gotten back into
town from a trip to New Orleans with my dad, and tried to call Jason.
No answer. I figured he'd gone to bed already. Oh was I
wrong. I called several times the next day to try to get together
with him, when I was informed by his SISTER that my suspicions were, once
again, confirmed. Jason, while I was away, had packed his things and
Mary had picked him up. Not for a weekend, but for good. He
moved away with her, and never had the decency to call and tell me we were
over (not that I couldn't have guessed at this point). He's not
called since, and I remain friends with his sister.
I hope he steps on a tack.
I was at a party one night, one of those where you crash
there that night. Anyway, the hostess invited this guy "Dexter"
and we really hit it off. After some small talk inside, we went out to the
driveway so we could talk with a little less noise surrounding us. We
talked about everything, books, family, future plans, all the while laying
on our backs and watching the stars. I suggested that we drive out
somewhere away from the city lights to better view said stars, and he
The place we went to is out in the country and
surrounded by trees. We were in a clearing of the trees where we could
view the sky and the trees made like a bowl around us with lightning bugs
flashing all around us. We were laying on his car and it was perfect.
We noticed that it was getting late, so we hopped back
in the car and headed back to our friend's house. We got there around 2am
and went to find a place to sleep (I'm a good friend of the hostess, so I
was promised a bed).
We climb into bed and sleep in each other's arms.
It. Was. Wonderful. We woke up looking into each others eyes
with the sunlight filling the room. Oh, it was perfect. He had to go to
work and he said he'd call.
Since then I had called him about five times and once he
finally answered. We planned to go garage saling together about a week
later. Anyway, he stood me up on that one with the excuse that his stepmom
had his phone and his phone had my number. I let that one go by as just an
accident. He stood me up two more times before I just stopped calling.
On the night of the fourth (of July) some friends and I
went to a local pizza place and who was there being social? Dexter. I went
up and said "hi" and then I pulled him aside, we hugged and I
whispered in his ear, "I liked you, I really did, but I'm giving up
on you" and all he had to say was "Understandable".
Eurgh. "You just WAIT till my therapist gets a hold
of THIS piece of the puzzle!!!"
A few years after I graduated high school I ran into a
guy I had known for quite a while. He ended up calling me and we agreed to
go on an official date, but I warned him not to expect too much. We
decided to get together on a Sunday, he would call me that morning and we
would make our plans. All I asked was that he not call me before 10am as I
have to get up for work early during the week, and relish being able to
Friday night he calls and leaves a message that he's at
the local fair seeing some friends play in a band, asking me if I want to
meet up with him. I had already made plans with a friend and wasn't able
to call back. He call me 5 more times that night wondering where I am and
why haven't I called him?
Sunday morning rolls around and he calls at exactly 10
am. I answer in a sleepy voice as he had waken me, and without even saying
hello says "You said to call anytime after 10". Not a good way
So I get up, he picks me up and we go out for smoothies
where he brags about using a 2 for 1 coupon. We actually have a pretty
good time talking and catching up. We decide to go to the mall and walk
around, and he buys me a kitty ear headband that I wear the rest of the
day. Very sweet. He had been trying to hold my hand all day, so I figured
since he bought me the ears, I would finally let him. He would NOT LET GO!
We decide to go to the movies and as we are leaving the mall he says
"Well, since I bought you the cat ears you can pay your own way into
the movie." This is coming from a guy who lives at home with his
parents and has no responsibilities, while I am living on my own,
supporting myself, but whatever.
We get to the movies and once we are inside, he goes to
the snack stand and he buys himself every kind of snack you can imagine.
Once the movie started I should have pretended to go to the bathroom and
had my friends come get me.
He finally takes me home and walks me to my door. I had
told him earlier that I didn't kiss on the first date (total lie) and
lucky for him he didn't try. Although that didn't stop him from asking me
questions like what kind of underwear I wore and what my favorite sexual
positions were. I never went out with him again.
On another note, I once gave my number to a guy who
turned out to be getting the number for his brother. I left this party at
6 pm, went to a friends and got home around midnight. His brother had
called me 10 times, some within 1 minute of each other. When he called
again that same night within minutes of me walking in the door, I screamed
at him that I was trying to sleep and to never call me again.
I went on a blind date with a man I had spoken to on the
phone. He sounded nice, and normal! We met at a restaurant,
and he was waiting for me outside. All was well until we were
actually seated. Among his "sins":
He ate like a pig, grabbing everything in sight, hogging
all of the bread, etc.
He complained to the waitress about the prices.
(This was NOT an expensive restaurant, by the way.)
When the bill came, he complained because soup instead
of salad had added a big $1.25 to the bill.
He asked to borrow my cell phone during dessert, and
proceeded to call and scream at his ex-wife while we sat at the table.
She hung up on him, and he called her back. After a loud and very
embarrassing conversation, he calmly told me that he had used my cell
phone because she would have recognized his number and wouldn't have
answered. He then told me every gruesome detail about their marriage
and about what a witch she has been since their divorce. (I
sympathized with her rather than him, believe me!)
After dinner, we walked outside and by this time all I
wanted to do was go home. We stood near my car in the parking lot,
and he asked if I'd like to go out again, this time to a movie.
Before I could answer, he sneeringly suggested that it be a porn movie at
his apartment. He then proceeded to reach up under my blouse and
feel around. I managed to extricate myself from his grasp, got into
my car, locked the door, thanked him for dinner, rolled up the window, and
high-tailed it out of there. He followed behind me in his own car
for blocks, honking his horn and waving out the window. The pig
didn't even get it that the had grossed me out!
I think this date includes pretty much every dating faux
I am quite humiliated to tell this story. The story
itself is so brief, I'll give a little prologue and epilogue to expand on
it. I first met the wonderful woman who would be my wife while in college.
Her name is "Tiffany," and I'm "Jason." I was in film
school and she was studying biology at different colleges in the same
city. We met at a small theater where we both happened to go Friday
I thought she was the most adorable girl I'd ever laid
eyes on. She seemed to be smitten with me as well, but circumstances kept
us apart for well over a year. Finally, one day I decided the next time I
saw her, I'd ask her out. It was the best decision I ever made. We hung
out a couple of times before actually going out on an official date. It is
the second time we hung out that I made an egregiously horrid faux pas
which, when I look back on it, boggles my mind.
She came over to my apartment to hang out. She was okay
with the fact that my place was a mess, that I was a portly, unshaven,
out-of-work filmmaker. The sparks were flying between the both of us. Now
here's the moment of "oh my God". She suggested we go out and
get some coffee. I replied, "Nah, I've got coffee here!" I
PROCEEDED TO POUR COFFEE THAT WAS STILL IN THE CARAFE FROM THE MORNING IN
TWO MUGS AND MICROWAVE THEM. I then handed her a cup of nuked sludge and
asked if she wanted cream and sugar.
The fact that she didn't retreat from my apartment in
disgust is a testimony to the fact that she and I are truly meant to be
You change quite a bit during your twenties. I really
don't think you become the person who you are going to be until you hit twenty-seven
or so. Now in my early thirties, I look back on that incident, and other
things I said and did around that time, and think, "Who the hell was
My wife and I have now been married for over five years,
and our love has grown with each passing year. I consider myself to be one
lucky SOB to not have scared her off with my oafish behavior and
stomach-churning habits. I am a very different person now than I was, all
in good ways, mostly due to her making me want to be a better person.
And, I'm proud to say, we don't even own a microwave.
Here's one for the annals ... I had just finished a long
relationship with a very abusive guy and moved back to my hometown.
I had decided that maybe I wasn't destined for love, or that I could
_learn_ to love someone. Wrong ...
I'm an actress and was working at my local Renaissance
Festival. One of the jousters, let's call him Psycho (since all my
friends do), asked me out. I have to admit, to a romantically
starved woman, it was very sweet, the knight in shining armor bearing
roses thing. He wasn't my type physically, nor was he a stellar
conversationalist, but I figured I'd give it a try.
I should have known better. He was really
antisocial, negative and a complainer. I'm social, positive and hate
complainers. But I was lonely, and for a while, it was nice having
someone with whom to go out . On Fridays every now and again, we'd
get together. At last we became intimate, but it was never anything
exciting. In fact, more times or not, it was _not_ happening, if you
know what I mean. He'd just fume and kick me out of his apartment as
he berated himself for his failure.
So, following one of these non-event times, a good
friend of mine and performer at the Festival passed away. I was
invited to the memorial and asked Psycho along. He agreed.
Now, I knew he was antisocial, but figured these were his friends, too.
I thought wrong. He sulked the entire time,
requiring that I couldn't talk with friends but cater to his moods.
I finally left him at his table to wander around and share my sense
of loss with my friends. He came up and insisted we leave.
Fine. At the car, when he went to unlock my
door, he couldn't get the key in. So he snarls, "Can't get
it in here, either!" At my friend's memorial! Now it's kind of
funny in a pathetic way, but at the time it was just horrible.
I didn't talk to him on the ride home, and broke
things off. He went around telling everyone how I was a man-eater,
and the next time I saw him was when he stopped by to give me back
everything I'd given him. That actually was rather wounding, but I
was glad for one of them, which was a first edition of the book "Star
Wars" which said it was written by George Lucas. He also
snapped open a picture of a naked woman in bondage, showed it to me and
asked if I sent it to him and if it was me. I laughed at him then
and told him he had been spammed, get over it.
That should have been it, right? If only it had
been ... The next year he works at the Faire, as do I. At first he
is nasty, then he begins shooting wistful looks my way. I don't care
- I don't bear him any animosity, just don't need him in my
life. I'm dating casually at this time, nothing permanent.
Finally he gets up the nerve to ask me out again.
I stupidly say sure, but only as friends; I mainly agree because he's
finally gone on some medication that he says "takes off the
edge". He accepts those terms. But this time, it's worse.
He complains about everything, hates his co-workers because they don't
speak English, hates the food where we go out, hates my choice of movie
Yet, even though I keep hinting I don't want him in my
life, wouldn't he be happier, blah etc., he insists that (and I quote) I
owe him more than 3 days a week to see him. Yep, he's treating this
like we're dating, so I get chilly on him. Finally, no more even
seeing each other. Whew, right?
Wrong. To make a long story short, after he
spammed the office where I work to pay for my acting habit - with the same
picture and saying it was me! - keyed my car and then totaled it, I
got a peace order against him. I went to Court with my fiancé
(now husband), who is everything I ever dreamt of and who evidences that
you _don't_ need to learn to love someone, love happens.
As for Psycho? I warn all of you ladies out
there ... if you see him, run. Run fast (but not too fast
because he has little legs and can't keep up). And to everyone -
never settle. You don't have to if you're willing to wait for the
I'm a young, single mom struggling to re-enter the
dating world. When a co-worker, "Ruth", asked if I'd be
interested in going out with "Ryan", I enthusiastically replied
in the affirmative. I had met Ryan a couple of times, and had always
thought he'd be a great catch. So, I gave Ruth permission to give Ryan my
A few days later, when I hadn't heard from Ryan, I asked
Ruth if she had spoken with Ryan about me. She replied that she had, in
fact Ryan was excited to take me out, and was planning our date for the
coming Friday night. I was bothered by the fact that Ryan was planning a
date he had not even asked me out for. But, I went ahead and arranged to
have a babysitter. Throughout the week, I waited for Ryan's call. It never
Finally, at about 6:30 Friday night, Ryan called, saying
he'd pick me up at 7:00. Seeing as how this would be my first date after
having my baby, I decided to overlook Ryan's complete lack of manners and
just try to have a good time. Ryan arrived almost an hour late, talked
non-stop about Ruth, and neglected to tell me what he had planned for our
date. Turns out his plans were to take me bowling. I mentioned that I
hadn't bowled since I was a little girl, but I would give it my best. He
reassured me by saying that he hadn't either, so we'd be re-learning
together. It only took a few frames to realize that Ryan was actually a
very good bowler. In fact, he later revealed to me that his mom was in the
national amateur circuit, and he had been in a bowling league since he was
big enough to lift a ball.
I decided to just ignore his arrogant attitude, and
shifted the conversation to world affairs. When Ryan commented about the
"6 billion people in the U.S. depleting our economy", I tried
not to laugh. I politely asked, "You mean the 6 billion people in the
WORLD, don't you?" To which he replied, "Read a newspaper,
honey, there's like 200 billion people in the world." I changed the
subject, asking where we were going for dinner. He got a twinkle in his
eye, and told me it was a surprise. On the way to dinner, I began telling
him about my then 10-month-old daughter. He proceeded to tell me all the
things I should be teaching her, and all the things I'm doing wrong.
Then, when he pulled into a gas station, I felt
relieved, thinking that I'd have a break from him while he gassed up. But,
he drove past the gas pumps, and pulled right up to the building. Turns
out, the place we were having dinner was the little food court inside the
gas station!! Needless to say, I ate as quickly as I could, and asked to
be taken home. When he dropped me off, he said, "I have a friend
that's going through a divorce. I gave him your number, so expect a call
from someone named Devon." It was the worst date I'd ever been on!
Page Last Updated May 15, 2007