- Jun 2003
- Dec 2003 Archive
- Jun 2004 Archive
When I was 17 I was asked out on my first date ever. The boy
was new to our small town and I jumped at the chance to go out with him. After
all, I was a late bloomer and here was someone who wanted to go out with me. I
got my parent's permission and we arranged to have him pick me up at my parent's
house that Saturday.
First off, he was early. I was planning on dashing into the
shower but he arrived too soon and I had to nix the shower and just throw on a
quick change of clothes. He was new to town, so I suggested a movie. We agreed
on the movie "Single White Female" (yes I'm dating myself). When
"Tom" went to purchase the tickets,( I was more than prepared to have
this be Dutch, so I was pleased that he bought for the two of us.) he ordered
"two single white females". This struck me as incredibly funny and I
started laughing. Well, Tom wanted to know what was so funny, so I explained
that it sounded like he was ordering women, like from an escort catalog. I
finished up by saying that my friends all were quite surprised by how sweet and
innocent I looked, but how filthy a sense of humor I could have. (yes, looking
back on that, it was the wrong thing to say).
Well, from the moment we sat down in the theater Tom was all
over me. At first having his arm over my shoulders and having him hold my hand
was nice. I felt pretty and appreciated. My ego was getting a great fluffing!
But it quickly became too much, he was kissing and fondling and holding and I
asked him to stop. I told Tom that he was moving way too fast for me and I
wasn't comfortable with so much physical attention so quickly. Tom backed off
for a little while, but started in again soon after. Time after time I pushed
him away, time after time he pressed his attention on me.
The movie ended at eight, and neither of us thought it was
time to go home. My parent's had given me a curfew of 12:00 AM and Tom had heard
that. I still held hopes of saving the evening. Tom suggested that we park on
the side of the road in his pick-up truck and "listen to the radio".
Now momma didn't raise that big a fool and I told Tom in no uncertain terms that
"there was no way on earth I was going to do that, we had just met, and no
offence but you could be an axe murderer as far as I know." He took it
fairly well and I then suggested that we go to a local family restaurant that my
mother just happens to work at during the day. I knew that while she wasn't
going to be there, a bunch of people that we both knew would be working there.
It felt safe to me. When we arrived at the restaurant Tom spotted his parent's
car. We ended up joining them and they bought us a plate of fries to share.
Well, while I was talking with Tom and his parents, his mother
reaches over and pats my hand. She then say to me "I just wanted to let you
know that Mr. Parent and I won't be home until MUCH later tonight, just in case
you and Tom want to go back to our house."
I was shocked. I felt like his mother was pimping me out! I
then smiled sweetly, and claimed a sudden headache and asked Tom to take me
home. There was no avoiding him in our small high school, but I made sure I was
never alone with him again, and that was my last date until sometime in my early
twenties I was so shaken.
I know this girl, let's call her "Sheryl" who used
to rent an apartment with a friend of mine "Denise". Her boyfriend
"Adrian" who was an uninvited lodger most of the time, had absolutely
no idea about etiquette. He would leave his dishes to be washed by Sheryl or
Denise, leave his smelly socks around the living room, and turn up when Sheryl
was not there to wait for her to bring home some take-away food when she got off
work. Adrian claimed he was a model and an actor but was actually a pizza
waiter, meaning he was permanently skint and had to scrounge off Sheryl for
everything including a holiday to Cuba. One night Denise was horrified to go
into the kitchen to find Sheryl and Adrian having sex on a chair beside the
dinner table but that is another story. (And they didn't stop having sex either
when Denise came in.)
Neither Denise nor I, nor anyone else for that matter could
understand what Sheryl was doing with Adrian. She was a pretty, intelligent
person. But things finally came to a head one night. Adrian called round
demanding that Sheryl go out with him "straight away" to the bar.
Sheryl had just got back from the gym and was not dressed to go out, so she said
as much. He sulked and she ended up going out without so much as brushing her
hair. Then later when they are in the bar the girl at the next table starts
talking to Adrian. Sheryl is upset but tries not to show it, while Adrian
continues to completely ignore Sheryl. Eventually he turns to Sheryl and asks
her to go to the bar for a couple of drinks. When she returns he takes the beer
for himself, then takes the vodka and coke from Sheryl and GIVES it to the girl
at the next table. He then continues to ignore Sheryl.
Finally Sheryl stands up for herself and says she wants to go
home. On the way home Adrian decides he wants some Kentucky Fried Chicken but
has no money so Sheryl has to pay for it to shut him up. When Sheryl asks if she
can try one of the chips he refuses.
I think that was the final straw for Sheryl and she soon
kicked him out, although he called her the next week to ask for the book on
Cuba, which she had paid for.
This is only a little faux-pas...but it set the tone for the
rest of our relationship. We were coming up to our first Valentine's
Day together. My boyfriend had hinted he would like to buy me jeweler. I told
him he didn't need to, I'd be perfectly happy with flowers, but he was
Well, I have sensitive skin, so I can't wear 'fake' jeweler
next to my skin, it gives me a rash. And I really don't like large jeweler or
gold, I prefer discreet silver jeweler. I'm little, and pale, and big and gold jeweler
just looks cheap and garish on me, so I never wore it. I let him know
this. Not just hinting, I told him. I pointed out the jeweler I liked. I wanted
to help him choose a present I would love (and I chose a present I knew he would
love too). I was actually quite looking forward to it.
Valentine's day came, and he gave me my present. I opened the jeweler
box eagerly. It was gold. Not just gold, but huge, garish gold. The
total antithesis of any jeweler I ever wore. The total opposite to the style of jeweler
I liked. And as I lifted it up, I realized it was fake gold. Which I was
allergic to. He hadn't listened to one word I said. He hadn't taken my taste, or
even my allergy into account when he chose the necklace.
Well, I smiled sweetly, and wore the necklace, and got my
massive rash , although looking back, I shouldn't have done. It was the
start of a relationship in which he never took my feelings or needs - or
allergies - into account. Luckily, he is now history....and I gave him back the
necklace to give to his new girlfriend.
Hi Jeanne, I've been hooked on your website for ages now. The
stories are really a great ol' boost to the self-esteem. At least I'm not as bad
as some of these poor saps. On to the story of my date from hell...
I met "Dave" in the parking lot of a convenience
store while I was waiting in the car for my friends to come back from a beer run
they were making for a party that was going on in a nearby neighborhood. Dave
walked up to me and asked my name, being a suspicious sort I raised one eyebrow
at him and asked, "Why?" He answered with (I kid you not),
"Because when I see a beautiful woman I want to know what her name
After much banter I took his phone number and told him I'd
A few days later I did call. I don't know why, I knew I
shouldn't, but I did anyway and we spoke on the phone a bit. Dave was, for some
reason, being a complete ass but said that his friend "Kevin" wanted
to talk to me. So I talked to Kevin and he was a charmer. Uneducated, redneck,
but charming as could be. I agreed to go out with Kevin despite not remembering
what he looked like from that first infamous meeting. He told me to pick place
for us to meet and have dinner, anywhere at all, so I picked Outback, classy
enough for a first date but casual enough to (hopefully) facilitate
conversation. I must say that at this point I told him if my choice was too
pricey that we could go somewhere else, it didn't matter to me. Despite coming
from an upper middle class household I'm not a stickler about dates spending
vast fortunes on me or anything and I wanted to make sure he could comfortably
afford my choice of dining establishments. He declined and said Outback was fine
and not a problem.
I dolled myself up and looked wonderful, if I do say so
myself. I drove to the restaurant and waited out front for Kevin. Since I had no
idea what he looked like I was relying on him being able to pick me out himself.
As I was standing there waiting this large, beat up monolith of a car screeched
to a halt in front of the restaurant and this disheveled man in ripped jeans and
a stained tank top spilled out of the backseat, yelled a hasty
"thanks!" to his comrades in the car and they sped off.
I knew it was Kevin. I didn't want it to be Kevin, but I knew
He came up to me and smiled, showing his 4 missing front
teeth, we exchanged greetings and made our way inside and were seated in a booth
near the kitchen. We chatted a bit and when the waitress came to take our order
I, still feeling as if this place might be a bit heavy on his wallet, ordered
the cheapest thing on the menu. The waitress then asked Kevin for his order and
he said, "I'll just have a beer."
I looked at him incredulously, "You're not going to
He drawled, "Naw, baby, I'm taking you out to dinner, not
It was obvious to me at this point that he most certainly
could not afford this date if he could only afford to buy me dinner and I felt
instantly sorry for him, but being a stupid teenager with no job I had no money
of my own at the time so couldn't even offer to go Dutch or even pay outright
for dinner. I also decided at the same time that he was a dolt for doing this
when I'd offered, quite frankly, to go with something less expensive. I was
embarrassed beyond belief.
So I ate my dinner and Kevin had 3 beers and afterwards I
mentioned I needed to get going and made up some lame excuse as to why I needed
to leave. He then says to me, "Can you give me a ride home? I had some
friends drop me off and told them I'd just get you to bring me back."
I agree, reluctantly, and we got in my car. He directed me to
a down trodden trailer park and said that he was living with his brother and his
family in their trailer. As we pull up to one of the more run down looking
trailers that he indicated was his brother's a large woman with greasy hair and
stained clothes was standing out front and Kevin says, "Oh sh*t, my ex-wife
By this time it was dark outside and he opened his door and
asked me if I wanted to come inside for a minute. I told him I really couldn't,
had to be going, really needed to get home, etc. He leans over and shoves his
tongue down my throat with his ex watching us through the windshield.
Just then the cutest little blonde girl, about 4 years old
came tearing out of the trailer and hops in Kevin's lap. "This is my
daughter Brianna." She was a bubbly little thing and cute as a bug and she
looked at me, eyes wide and said, "Are you my daddy's new girlfriend? He
said you were going to be!" And then, "My daddy has a great big knife
he hides under his bed!"
Kevin looks at Brianna and says, "Now, honey, we said we
weren't going to tell anyone about that, remember?"
Oh, dear god.
Kevin tries to cajole me into committing to a date next
weekend in which we'll take Brianna to the zoo. Kids are cute and sometimes even
fun, but I knew even then that I had very little tolerance for them and had no
urge to spend the day with Kevin and his offspring. I told him I'd have to check
Eventually I untangled myself from that situation (after a few
more tongue wrestling matches) and drove home. I decided then to swear off
dating for a good, long while. I dodged his frequent phone calls for about a
week and then they stopped altogether.
Kevin did eventually call me again, several months later, and
I told him I had a boyfriend which was a total lie.
When I was a young girl in college, I was attracted to bad
boys. Don't ask me to explain it, the worse they were, the more
exciting they were to me. (Thank goodness that was just a passing fad.)
Maybe their dangerous glamour attracted me, as I had led a very sheltered small
town life and always had done everything I was told to do. These young men
who threw every rule to the wind and did as they pleased seemed wonderful
to me. When I met Jon, he fascinated me. He cared little for his
classes, he was an art major and a rebel and a ba--a-a-a- d boy. I was in
Heaven. We met designing a float for homecoming. Jon's best friend , a
sculpture major, was creating a giant paper mache pile of excrement,
complete with two mechanized flies, as his float entry. It was his
social comment on the fraternity system. Jon's contribution was hanging
around, cussing incoherently and drinking beer. He asked for my phone number at
the dorm and I could hardly contain myself.
The next night he took me out for some underage (for me)
drinking. He got extremely drunk and went to the men's room, leaving a manila
envelope in the booth, I snooped, and saw nude photos of a very pretty young
woman. On the bottom was written "Lori". I put the envelope back
and he was so sloshed that he didn't see it and left it there. Our
next date involved a party at a rather lavish home in the very best section of
town- except it turned out that Jon didn't exactly live there- nor had he even
been invited- he and his friend had broken into the house while the owners were
away on a trip and had the nerve to hold a big party. I didn't find this out
until after the bash was over and his friend let it slip. Jon was determined
that I should stay overnight there with him, in the master bedroom, But again,
he soon passed out and I left, not wanting to be found, like Goldilocks,
sleeping in someone else's bed. Our third and final date crossed the
line, even for me. Jon asked me to a party out of town- he swore that it
wasn't another breaking and entering party. We drove and drove, he
swilling beer the whole time. As his senses began to falter, I became more
and more terrified of a car crash. We got very lost and ended up in a
remote dirt road in a forest. Jon then confessed that this was the
"party" he had planned, just the two of us out in God-knows where.
What he would have done next I don't know, but he had no good on his mind,
that's for sure. Lucky for me, he had consumed so much beer that he couldn't
manage the date rape he had planned and he again passed out dead to the
world. So now I had a real situation: I had no idea where we were,
but obviously out in the woods. It was pitch dark, getting very cold, I couldn't
push him over enough to get the keys and drive out of there. I sat and watched
the hours pass on my watch. Finally I had to answer the call of nature, so
I exited the car, walked about three feet (I was afraid of bears!) and
pulled down my slacks to pee. Immediately there was a rumble, then a giant
roar and every detail of me and my naked bum exposed by a glaring
headlight - he had stopped the car three feet from a train track!
At about 4 a.m. Jon woke up enough to announce that we
were out of gas and that I was a real drag on a date. We then walked (me
in my party shoes) about two miles in a howling sleet storm to find a gas
station. As he drove me back to the dorm- (we had rules in those days and a
strict curfew, so I would have to refugee somewhere else until the doors opened
at 8 a.m.) he began to chuckle about our great "adventure". But
it wasn't over yet! The next day I realized that I had left a very
valuable earring in Jon's car- I was dressed up for a party, remember. So much
as I hated to do it, I had to call him to get it. Jon had always been a
little cagey about where he lived and what his phone number was - told me if I
needed to, I could always get him through his friend. (The one who made the
excrement float.) So I did and when I called, his WIFE answered.
Yes, Lori, the naked girl in the photos. This educational experience
went a very long way to curing me of my naive yen for wild guys!
In the summer of 2000 I made the move to a big city where I
knew NO ONE to take a new job. I found it hard to meet people because the
people in my office were all quite a bit older than me and married. A
friend suggested that I try internet dating as he had met his fiancée that way.
I posted an ad on the site he had suggested and met some nice people but no
sparks. Then, I met “John”. Email and MSN chats with him led me
to believe that we had a lot in common, including that we both practiced a type
of martial art kickboxing. We’d talk on the phone for hours, laughing
hysterically at how alike we seemed to be. All except for one thing –
HIS Mother forgot to teach him basic manners, let alone how to treat a woman you
are trying to impress.
We agreed we’d see a movie on a Friday night and that he’d
pick me up around 6:30 so we could get to the theater for 7pm, and still have
time to grab a bite to eat or play some pool. I was ready at 6:15 and
waiting for him until he finally shows up at my door around 8pm. He was
dressed in ripped sweat pants and a grass stained t-shirt. (I was dressed
casually but not THAT casually!) He tells me that he had a lawn care
business on the side, and had to take care of a few clients that night as it was
expected to rain over most of the weekend. Thought to myself that he
could have called, but I let it go and said jokingly, “Nice to see that you
dressed up for me”, almost half expecting that he’d have a change of clothes
in tow. NO change of clothes but he did have a 12 inch Subway sub in hand,
explaining that he hadn’t had time to eat dinner. So, he brushes past me
and into my living room, plops himself down on the couch and pulls out his sub.
He takes a bite and asks with a mouthful “got any Coke?” I bring
him a Coke and he greedily eats his sub and a bag of chips, not offering me even
so much as a morsel. He eats half, wraps up the other half and puts it
back in the bag and screws the top back on his Coke. Then he gets up, goes
to my kitchen and puts the two in the fridge.
We walk out to the parking lot and I head to the visitors
section asking where he is parked. He asks me where “I” am parked and
tells me that he thought “I” was driving so he left his keys on my coffee
table. So, we walk to the OTHER side of the building to where my car is
parked in the parking garage. (This was an OBVIOUS ploy on his part to get
back into my apartment after that date). I drive us to the theater
and he CRITICIZES my driving the entire way, including which route I take to the
cinema. We pull into the parking lot and he says something like we should
have stopped at the convenience store to get snacks as they are SO expensive at
the theater. Now at this point I was getting pretty fed up, so instead of
offering to pay for my own ticket like I normally would, I stand back and wait
for him to pay for the tickets. I then BOLT over to the snack counter and
get myself a snack, not offering to buy him anything (which I normally would if
the guy pays for the tickets). He comes up behind me and I say something
like “you’re right – snacks are expensive here!” and proceed into the
All through the movie it was like he was practically trying to
sit in my seat with me as he was ALL over me. (Maybe he was just trying to
get his hand in my bucket of popcorn) I in turn, was practically sitting on the
lap of the 80 year old Grandmother sitting next to me. He kept talking
throughout the movie, until I finally said, “Will you please be quiet so I can
watch the movie?” When the movie was over, we were walking down
the aisle and talking about our mutual kickboxing interest. He says he
doesn’t think I am so “tough” and he proceeds to punch me HARD in the arm.
He’d lucky my reflexes didn’t kick in and that I didn’t haul off and punch
him in the face! Onlookers were horrified!
We get out to the car and he asks if we are going anyplace
else. I say no that it is late and make and excuse that I have to get up
early the next day. So, back to my place we head and as I move to drop him
off in the visitors parking lot before I pull into my parking garage, I remember
that his keys are in my place. So, in we go to my building, me intending
to bring his keys to the door and NOT let him in. He barges in grabs the
remote and as he plonks his butt down on my couch, puts his feet up on my
antique coffee table. I sit in a chair ACROSS the room, feigning sleep as
he flicks the channels for 15 minutes, and hoping he’d get the hint that I
wanted him to leave. Finally he says, “Let’s go to bed – you’re
tired”. I was like, you don’t honestly think you’re staying the
night do you? He looks at me, goes to the fridge, gets his sub AND the
Coke I had given him and leaves without saying another word, slamming the door
behind him. Did he think an $11.00 movie ticket would get him in my bed?
I actually got an email from him a couple of weeks later
wondering why I hadn’t called him…..
Page Last Updated May 15, 2007